My skull! The helmet does nothing!

From Warlord #48, "Dragon of Ice" Written and illustrated by Mike Grell, inks by Vince Colletta. A fifty-cent issue, with a bonus Arak insert and the return of Claw.

One of the things that the Warlord comic used to do well, that probably couldn't be done as easily today with three-dollar comics, is have a larger quest-storyline, that could be sidetracked into little single-issue stories. (To be fair, this may just read better because I didn't have to wait a month between issues reading this.) In this issue, Travis Morgan and Shakira are trying to find his daughter Jenny, believed to be lost in the Land of Shadow.

On their way, they run across a village. Shakira declares, "Huts of mud and hearts of stone. About what you'd expect in a place where man gathers his numbers." Morgan defends the people, but Shakira points out that they're about to sacrifice a hot blonde to some pagan god or something. Judging from the looks of the villagers, if they're willing to give her up, the village's name is 'Sausagefest.'

In a righteous fury, Morgan caps the head priest, and smites a few of the villagers for good measure. The girl wakes up with a surprisingly comical expression, the dead priest slumped over her. Morgan declares that the girl is now under her protection, and Shakira just sits back smirking and lets the 'sacrifice' clock Morgan in the back of the head. She was a true believer, and regroups the villagers with Morgan lined up to be the new sacrifice to the 'ice dragon.'

Changing into her 'fur coat' cat-form, Shakira gets Morgan's pistol, and ventilates the girl, and some more villagers. Morgan asks how she learned how to do that, and she blows him off: "I've watched you often enough. It's not as hard as you'd have people believe." Freeing him, the remaining villagers flee, as the ice dragon arrives...preceded by the Arak insert. Hey, Ernie Colon art!

Seeing a large shape coming through the ocean fog, Morgan and Shakira are about to split too, but then they see the 'ice dragon' is a viking ship. "These men sailed north and were caught in a winter storm...it must have become trapped in a coastal current that kept it returning to this spot, time and again. And each time it came, through all those centuries, someone died here." Morgan overturns the altar, but Shakira points out that won't change anything.

Meanwhile, taken in by medieval butler Faaldren to a castle, Jenny has a creepy interlude involving a bath and a giant handprint...I mention this only because it ties back in to the larger quest, the visual is good and unsettling, and because in its later years, Warlord could on occasion have like four subplots running at once, leaving about ten pages for the main storyline. Worked about as well as you'd think.

So, what have we learned this issue?

A. Vikings are still adding to their death toll to this day, which is actually kind of impressive.

B. Gunplay is fun and easy! Try some today!

C. Saving a hot blonde from human sacrifice doesn't automatically mean you're going to score some nookie. In fact, she may even be in on the whole thing. Better let them sacrifice her, just to be safe.

(In other words, my basement flooded yesterday, and I had to sort out a lot of the damage today. Lots of my comics are in plastic tubs, and even more are on blocks or shelves off the ground, but a lot weren't. Who will blog about the Minx now?

No one. No one will.

More later this week. Wish me luck!)

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At first glance, this looks like a retelling of Nightcrawler's first appearance in Giant-Size X-Men #1. In the next page, Kurt even gives the same "I learn my lessons well!" speech, but it's slightly reworded, since it's out loud, to the angry villagers this time.

In fact, this was another batch of angry visitors, accusing Nightcrawler of having killed a child. The "child" in question, though, was merely a disguise of a monster, that was killed by its brethren for revealing itself; and the monsters in question had been killing children and may have been responsible for Kurt's step-brother going insane, which led to his death at Kurt's hands...

Yeah, this was a pretty big lump of retcon, in Marvel Comics Presents #104, "Male Bonding, part 4: You Know That We Do It Together" Written by Scott Lobdell, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Al Williamson. In previous versions, Kurt's stepbrother Stefan made Kurt promise if he ever went bad, Kurt would stop him; and Stefan did go bad, committing more than a couple murders. He ended up snapping his neck in Kurt's tail, at which point the villagers found them, and gave chase, leading into Giant-Size.

Kurt fares against the villagers about as well as he did the first time, but luckily he's saved this time by Wolverine. This was their first team-up since Logan and the X-Men supposedly died in Uncanny X-Men #226 (an issue I have, but needed the footnote this issue to remind me) and Kurt's a little pissed about not being let in on the gag.



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Today: Conan vs. the Body Snatchers.

An odd one today, from Conan the Barbarian #41 (and reprinted in glorious black-and-white in Conan Saga #78) "The Garden of Death and Life!" Written by Roy Thomas, art by John Buscema, inks by Ernie Chua. (AKA Ernie Chan!)

After leaving Zamora, the City of Thieves, Conan rides into a nameless desert town, where he finds the prototypical angry mob of villagers with torches chasing...a young girl? Conan holds back to watch for a moment, as the villagers refer to the girl as "Zhadorr." He isn't sure if that's her name, or her tribe, or something else.

Conan saves the girl, although at first it had looked like one of the villagers had fatally stabbed her; she says it only tore her dress. Conan and the girl ride off, headed back to Zamora; and the girl gets strangely lethargic at night, refusing food, then sleeping silently. Conan isn't a heavy sleeper, but the girl is up before him, basking in the dawn's light. Conan finds the girl attractive, and for him, saving a girl from a mob is like another guy springing for dinner and flowers. But she's strangely distant, saying they should wait until they reach the oasis of Shar-al-Tjinn. She does refer to him as "My Conan," which he seems to find somewhat charming.

Just before the pair can reach the oasis, though, they run across a quartet of brigands; who seem about as common as sand there. Conan does decide to have a quick dip before the brigands catch up:

Conan suspects the water as being somehow poisoned, but the girl--who still hasn't given a name other than Zhadorr--claims it's fine. The brigands attack, and Conan is captured surprisingly quickly for a change. The lead brigand plans on selling the barbarian as a slave, and has even more unsavory ideas for the girl.

Eventually getting free, Conan races to save the girl, but instead finds Zhadorr dying...next to a suspicious pile of bones. Her last words are that she had wanted to spare him, and he should flee the oasis. Instead, Conan buries the girl, then finds a plant-monster attacking the remaining brigands and their horses. Conan manages to lob a torch into the creature's mouth, causing a huge fire that destroys it and the oasis. Only a pod remains...

Conan hacks the pod creature into mulch, then sets off again for Zamora, knowing "he'll forget the thing that was called only Zhadorr." Conan saved the Hyperborean world from the Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and no one knew, until now! Unless you had this issue already, I guess.





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If Norrin had seen a couple movies, he probably would've been better off.

Watching Hammer horror movies might've cut into his brooding time, though. From 1980, Fantasy Masterpieces #7, reprinting 1969's Silver Surfer #7, "The Heir of Frankenstein!" Written by Stan Lee, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Sal Buscema.

I have to dig out another reprint of this one, since per the GCD four pages are cut here. Yet it still feels a little long, since the titular heir of Frankenstein is a caricature of the usual mad scientist. He's vain and cruel, and his experiments ae less about proving anything scientific than his right as a Frankenstein. The Surfer saves him and his Igor-like assistant Borgo from the angry mob of torch-wielding villagers, even though the villagers were in the right for a change. Still, while the Surfer isn't dumb enough to be snookered by the unctuous Frankenstein; since he remembers what happened with Doctor Doom; but Frankenstein lures him back and creates a duplicate Surfer, which he sends to punish the villagers.

Borgo turns on his master, eventually pushing them both out of a window. While the Surfer is able to destroy his duplicate, the duplicate's rampage doesn't do his reputation much good. Actually, the humans already really hated and mistrusted him, it's a theme throughout the series, yeah.

The original issue was the last twenty-five cent issue of the series; the next issue the page count would drop from 40 to 20. The next issue of Fantasy Adventures would still cut maybe a couple pages from the Surfer story, but the reprints of Adam Warlock's Strange Tales would begin there.
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As usual, this is the week before I go on vacation: there are posts scheduled, although I couldn't tell you what off the top of my head. To get ready to go, we're having another Nightcrawler week. This year, we're checking out retellings of Nightcrawler's origin: it hasn't been retold as many times as Wolverine or most of the other X-Men, even, but in the years since 1975's Giant-Size X-Men #1 it's been touched upon a time or two. In fact, we saw a page from the Len Wein/Dave Cockrum original along with the modernized retelling in X-Men Origins: Nightcrawler.

Today's version is from Uncanny Origins #8, "From Circus Freak to X-Man" Written by Bill Rosemann, art by Mark Campos. While it sticks to the "villagers chasing Kurt" and most of the same dialogue as the original, it also ties into the retcon from Uncanny X-Men Annual #4: the villagers are chasing Kurt, because they found him over the body of his stepbrother. Which gives the villagers slightly more motivation than simply "kill the monster," but also makes it odd that Professor X recruits Kurt without any investigation at all. (Admittedly, there wasn't time, since the Professor had to rescue the team trapped on Krakoa; and reading Kurt's mind he would know Kurt was innocent.)

This is probably my favorite retelling of Nightcrawler's origin, mainly because of Campos's art, but it's also the only place I can think of that most, if not all his continuity is in one place.





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He's a murderer made of corpses, but the worst part is he's presumptuous...

Is it weird that Marvel had a good chunk of success with two-thirds of the Big Three of Monsters, but seemed to consistently miss with the Monster of Frankenstein? Heck, he's kind of upstaged by another werewolf this issue: from 1973, the Monster of Frankenstein #5, "The Monster Walks Among Us!" Written by Gary Friedrich, art by Mike Ploog, inks by John Verpoorten; and opening with a line from John Fogerty...predating it's use in An American Werewolf in London, hmm.

Anyway, the first few issues of the Monster's book had been mostly retelling his origin, fairly faithfully to Shelley's original novel. I think. The Monster may be pictured more closely to what audiences would expect. Now, Frank's making his way out of the arctic, after spending maybe a century frozen; but he crosses paths with a ship, on fire, with a beautiful girl tied to the mast. As he rescues her, he finds a village celebrating her death, and is appalled. Almost as appalled as the girl Lenore is at first sight of Frank. Still, he defends her, even against her own father, who may have been a hero once but now seems convinced she is a devil.

Escaping into the woods, Frank cares for Lenore as best he can, and she seems to appreciate both it and him. (This may be a weird issue: Frank just wants to be loved, but seemingly feels that since he saved the girl, she should be his...) Until, one night--coincidentally the night of the full moon--she disappears, and Frank fears the villagers came for her. Instead, he sees the village guard attacked and killed by a werewolf, and realizes it must've killed Lenore as well. Cue monster fight, which ends when Frank pulls the silver sword of Lenore's father out of a tree and kills the werewolf. No points for guessing it was Lenore. Either feeling the loss of innocence or like a chump, Frank leaves, resuming his quest to murder the last descendant of Victor Frankenstein...that was the sort of thing that kinda made it tough for Frank to be a sympathetic character, then.

The villagers are kind of dickish here, which is pretty common in both old movies and a fair number of old Marvel comics, both the horror ones and every time they chased Nightcrawler around...I kind of think Marvel thought mid-European countries were still a bit, rustic, we'll say.

I thought I had the Essential Monster of Frankenstein collection, but not handy. I think there were a stretch of issues where Frank's vocal cords were severed, bringing him even more in line with the traditional movie interpretation, but also making it easier for the likewise traditional Marvel misunderstanding meet-brawls. Still, the creature had a lot of murders under his belt, too many for a heroic lead; but not in the same way an outright evil character like Dracula would; which is why I think he never quite clicked at Marvel.
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I think most billionaires couldn't get three steps into an Uncle Scrooge plan.

Which is almost a shame: there's killer ants later in this one, and I'd love to see billionaires try to get out of that one! ('Try' being the key word there.) From 1990, Walt Disney's Uncle Scrooge #249, "The Puffer" Plot by Paul Halas, script by Dave Angus, US script by Gary Gabner, art by Daniel Branca.

Uncle Scrooge is playing chess, while everyone else is playing checkers; in a scheme to donate his old steamship, the Puffer, to the Duckburg Museum: for a change, this wasn't for cash or a tax dodge or anything, but for glory. Only one problem: where did he put that thing...? This sets up a race against crooked rival McSwine, who sabotages Donald's luggage so they miss their flight, and he gets a one day head start to Burma.

Scrooge and the boys are disappointed to learn, the Puffer had been lost six years prior, when the crew had to abandon ship because of a volcano. They offer to buy the steamship currently in use, but it was on its way to pick up a load of garlic, and McSwine was already on his way to it. They nearly catch up to him when McSwine wrecks his motorboat, but that just gives him the opportunity to steal Scrooge's! As usual, Scrooge refuses to let a setback set him back, and opts to try and head overland to beat McSwine, but they don't need to when they find the beached Puffer! But can they get it back to the river...?

The locals, who had a hard tea harvest coming up, aren't real interested in helping out; until ant swarms attack their tea leaves, and them! It comes down to a race between McSwine's newly purchased Sister Percy and the Puffer: Scrooge had the skill, but his boat was loaded full of villagers and livestock. McSwine probably could've outlasted him, but panics and overstokes his boiler, blowing up his ship. The Puffer is settled into retirement as a museum piece; while McSwine seems to have forgotten why he wanted a steamship, as he tries to wrangle up villagers to salvage the Sister Percy... Read more!

It's true what they say, with a big winged helmet, comes great responsibility. Wait, that's not it.

Still, here's a rock-solid issue, in the middle of a longer storyline, tying into an old story, with great art and interesting monster design. From 1985, Warlord #90, "Demons of Days Past" Written by Cary Burkett, art by Rich Buckler.

In sunny Skartaris, Travis Morgan was feeling a bit gloomy today: the war against the invading New Atlanteans and their Beast-Men was not going swimmingly, and in the previous issue he had caught an earful, accused of constantly running off to play hero rather than put in the work to build on the dreams he'd inspired. Which, of course, was brutally, devastatingly accurate; no notes. Travis wishes he could bag out, explore Skartaris, get away from everyone that was counting on him; when he is approached by a weird old man. Real Merlin type. The geezer advises, Travis was facing a choice: try and build a kingdom, based on fairness and justice; or keep performing individual deeds of heroism and valor that were good but maybe didn't add up in the long run. Travis notices the old man didn't have a reflection...which is weirdly not brought up again, and later he thinks he might've dreamed that. Or been out in the sun too long, it didn't set there...

Meanwhile, another long-running subplot continued, as Jennifer Morgan frees Tinder (secretly her younger brother, which no one knew, so keep it under your hat) and his weird cave-monkey friend Chakka from the thrall of the gem of the Evil One. Taking the gem for study, Jennifer does advise Ashir against pocketing any of the pile of gold there, as it was almost certainly cursed...

But, her dad was also about to head out for some gold, needed for the war effort: their new base was near a certain pyramid, the ruins of Shaban D'aba. Which was from a million issues ago--oh, all right, it was from Warlord #31, and one of my favorite stupid posts here: "Dear Tara." Speaking of, today Tara decides she's not putting up with Travis's nonsense and opts to go with him on this one. This does of course involve a dinosaur attack on the way there, because this was Skartaris and you had to expect this sort of thing, the unexpected and all that.

This pyramid was from back in the "Wizard World" days, and was basically a vault to keep the wizards' gold away from the Evil One, who since we've brought him up twice: yeah, he was coming back soon. Travis had found the secret entrance by accident and didn't think anyone else could get in, but they're surprised when some local villagers are dropping off a sacrifice, which appeared to be baskets of fruit and a dead horse. The head villager advises them to get clear: sometime back, some asshole freed some demon from the pyramid...Travis doesn't have long to feel bad about that, as Tara asks him how he killed the demon-bird that flew him away--you know, it is legit touching that she believes that story, especially since Travis came back with Shakira after that one. They're interrupted by the demon at hand, a lion-headed, multi-hooved thing. Biblically-accurate demon!

When their weapons don't do any good, Travis and Tara retreat into the pyramid, but the demon turns into smoke to follow. Grabbing an ax, Travis grits his teeth and gets ready to go down swinging, telling Tara he loves her. Tara, on the other hand, keeps her head, and spies a bottle and stopper, with the same symbol on it as the demon. Hoping the wizards had used it to trap the demon, Travis manages the same, burning his hand a bit in the process. But, it seemed to bring him and Tara closer together again...probably until the next time he goes off on some adventure. Oh, and for good measure--well, sort of good measure? I'm not sure it helped this book any, but the Monitor from Crisis on Infinite Earths makes an appearance, watching Travis and Tara from his satellite. Pretty sure they didn't have much idea what was going on there, but it would cue up a recap of Travis's origin next month, with some new wrinkles. Read more!

I know I wanted so bad to see a flying saucer when I was little, so I'm glad I didn't get this comic until recently: it would've warped my impressionable little mind. From 1974, UFO Flying Saucers #4, cover by George Wilson.

This was a lot like the issues of DC's Ghosts comic that we've seen here, featuring allegedly maybe true stories, as well as some allegedly true hoaxes. For example, in "The Mississippi Mystery" two fishermen are abducted, examined, and then thrown back like fish that were too small. The men weren't drinkers, and seem to legitimately believe that's what happened, but were they tricked somehow? Or their imaginations ran away with them?

I kind of liked "Aliens Go Home!" from the UFO Casebook, where some strange visitors are driven off by villagers throwing fruit. Another story, "The Kinross Kidnapping," surprised me by really being based on real events, as an F-89 is deployed to investigate a UFO, but disappears over Lake Superior. To date, no trace of the jet or its pilots has been found...but Lake Superior is mighty deep.

Some say flying saucer/UFO stories started fading about the exact same time everybody got a camera on their phone; implying that all those stories were crap that would've been debunked by just one person there shooting video. Which is probably the case, as much as I would personally like to believe otherwise: I'd suggest, maybe we don't see flying saucers as much anymore, because they've pretty much seen enough of us. 

 No credits this issue, but the art is probably Frank Bolle throughout.

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In case you were having trouble picturing it:

I know I watched the old Fox X-Men cartoon when it originally aired, but I'm not sure I ever forgave it for having Gambit from episode one, then taking three seasons to get to Nightcrawler. The above clip does a good job of the villagers' chase, but the episode really hammers on the point of Nightcrawler's Christianity. It even goes as far to suggest Wolverine finding God, which always seems a bad fit to me: Logan would have a hard time maintaining faith and justifying all the stabbing...

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Another Twilight Zone comic? Just pretend I planned this or something.

From 1974, The Twilight Zone #59, cover (probably) by Joe Certa.

The cover story, "The Plague!" could easily have been an episode: Astronaut Strethers was returning to earth after ten years in deep space. That is, ten years for him, but thanks to relativistic speeds, five centuries had passed on earth. While there didn't appear to be any current conflicts, there was evidence of past nuclear wars; and Strethers straps on a sidearm, not knowing what to expect. Upon landing, the people greet him warmly at first, but then turn on him as a "plague carrier." Strethers flees into the forest, but chased by the villagers, he hides in a cave, where he eventually finds a computer complex. The computer had information about the plague: after a nuclear war, the second generation of survivors had almost a phobia of weapons, and gathered them up to be destroyed. Strethers realizes he won't need his gun and leaves it, rejoining the human race.

"The Stand-In" features a member of the idle rich, that maybe wishes he could be idler: because of his "social station" he was obligated to throw the occasional party, which he always found boring as hell. But, the next day, he sees an ad in the paper for "General Simulacrum," which promises a life-like mechanical substitute. He purchases a simulacrum, which proves a perfect stand-in at his next party. Free of his dull guests, he heads to a nearby bar to celebrate, but sees a couple that was at his party--they had sent their own simulacrums to the party, and so had everyone else, for like the last year or so. Hashtag first world problems.

In "Shock Treatment," a condemned prisoner volunteers for a scientist's "transition shock therapy" program, which does seem to change him for the better: he saves the warden from some other prisoners' escape attempt. But, they weren't able to commute his sentence, so he still gets the chair; but that's just another shock to him now. Finally, "the Golden Glove," wherein a greedy baron stops wringing gold out of the peasants, to get it from an alchemist. He spies on the alchemist to learn the secret, but doesn't use it carefully. This one ends, with a really off-model Rod Serling in a minstrel's outfit, if that does anything for you.

No Hostess ad this time? Feels like I've been robbed. Read more!

Ah, scenic, friendly Winzeldorf...

It has to be kind of hurtful that the Marvel Wikia entry for Winzeldorf comes up before any entries for the actual Winzeldorf. Then again, the Marvel Universe's Winzeldorf probably isn't anything like the real one, but it's not ever consistently portrayed either.

Anyway, I don't usually blog about brand spanking new comics, especially comics I kind of hate, but since this was another issue of Nightcrawler being chased by the angry torch-welding villagers, here we are: Extraordinary X-Men #7, written by Jeff Lemire, art by Victor Ibanez, color by Jay David Ramos.

This month, while Old Man Logan, Iceman, Colossus and Magik deal with some nonsense in Weirdworld; young Jean Grey and Storm go into Nightcrawler's mind to try and see why he's so messed up. Which turns out to be unrelated to the first six issues of this series and whatever Mr. Sinister was up to. On Weirdworld, Sunfire has been protecting mutants, but Magik is still pissed about whatever he did with Cyclops to turn humanity against mutants. (Really against mutants. Like they were beloved before...) At this point, I don't know if whatever Cyclops did has been revealed, but maybe now it shouldn't be, because there's no way it could live up to the expectation. Cyclops is on Nightcrawler's mind as well, because Cyclops is like Poochie: whenever Cyclops is not on screen, everyone should be asking, "Where's Cyclops?"

Spoiler alert: Nightcrawler was traumatized by the discovery of a mass mutant grave in Germany. Which seems kind of insensitive, considering it's Germany. I really, really prefer fun, happy Nightcrawler to crying Nightcrawler--and his new costume and long hair don't look great, either. Someone give me a head's up if the next crossover improves things any...
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Nightcrawler would probably prefer the angry villagers to this one...

Wow, I knew Chuck Austen was, well, reviled is probably the right word; but I didn't think it would go this far: I couldn't even find this issue in the GCD and had to put it in myself! From 2003, X-Men 2 Prequel: Nightcrawler, written by Chuck Austen, art by Karl Kerschl.

This issue blends elements of Nightcrawler's usual continuity--life in the circus, crushing hard on his adopted sister Amanda--with the movies, as Kurt is mind-controlled and captured by Stryker and his anti-mutant forces. Austen does a good job here, painting Kurt as a devout young man who is still a bit of a smartass; as seen when he takes several beatings for daring to pray to humanity's God. (For his part, even Stryker seems to think his men took things too far, and he's a racist murderer.)

I like the art this issue as well, although Nightcrawler doesn't have the scarification/tattoos/markings he had in the movie. Eh, that's fine.



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I was more excited to see "Mystery in Space!" on the cover, than anybody else that's on there.

There's an Adam Strange cover that used "Misery in Space!" I'm a sucker for whenever DC uses this or a variant of it. From 1994, New Titans #111, "The Extra Mile!" Written by Marv Wolfman, pencils by Matt Thompson, inks by Rus Sever.

At first glance, I thought this was from the much later Dan Jurgens/Young Atom era of the Titans: nope! It's Arsenal, Changeling, Pantha and Kid Wildebeest on the cover; but none of them are the main focus inside. In South America, Dick Grayson has found Starfire, who has apparently been living with the natives, and doesn't seem to recognize Dick. But no time for love, as her adopted village is attacked from space, by a satellite controlled by the "Teraizer." Or Teraizers, that might have been the group's name: they were extortionists running under cover of being environmentalists. The other Titans were there in a LexCorp shuttle, and after Starfire takes a hit, Russian member Red Star risks flying out to save her.

Back on the ground, Dick shakes it off, and falls back on Batman's training to help rescue villagers. The Teraizer leader increases his demands to earth's governments, and one of his underlings worries that he's overplaying their hand, when the Titans bust in. The Teraizers are of course no match for the Titans, and Starfire refrains from killing them to make an example of them: she asks "green boy" to turn the cameras back on, to tell earth a story...At a glance, Starfire would regain her memory next month, then an issue of Dick working through his Bat-issues, just in time for a big line-up shake-up for Zero Hour. They also seem determined that Arsenal is a marquis name, and I don't see it. Read more!

I swear I have the Essential Frankenstein somewhere, not on my shelf of those. But when I randomly come across one of these, I probably have to grab it. From 1974, the Frankenstein Monster #9, "The Vampire Killers!" Written by Gary Friedrich, pencils by John Buscema, inks by John Verpoorten.

Aw, this one's missing a few pages: the Angry Villagers Local #237 have Frank trussed up and are burning him at the stake, but that has unfortunately left their town open for Dracula to swoop in and put the bite to a woman or two. The Monster had been on the verge of giving up, but hearing the sound of someone else suffering inspires him to keep fighting, to save anyone from the torments he had lived through. The mob is completely ineffectual against Dracula--maybe you should've brought more than one crossbow, or at least not called your shot ahead of time--as well as against a newly driven Frankenstein.

While Dracula is coffin shopping, Frank returns to the cave Drac came from, and finds sultry villager Carmen waiting for him. Even Frank isn't convinced she's into him; she's there for his blood, having been turned by Dracula. Her attack paralyzes Frankenstein's vocal cords; I don't think he would be able to talk for the rest of his series and beyond. Frank stakes Carmen, which irritates Dracula more than anything: he obviously had no feelings for her, but how dare that thing take away something of his? Dracula has the Monster on the ropes for most of their brief fight, until the Monster manages to get him into the sunlight, form the cross, and stake him. (I sincerely doubt the Monster believed in God, so the cross shouldn't have worked; but the sunlight may have done the damage needed.)

Frankenstein is left with "only the bitter bile of revenge," and Carmen's memory; but isn't left with any time to consider it, as he is greeted by Vincent Frankenstein! We're not sure of his deal yet, but that's pretty ballsy to march himself up to a cave that had two vampires and the Monster. Well, I bet Vincent either didn't believe in vampires, or didn't believe they would dare threaten a Frankenstein.
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Yet another crossover that's a crossover...because they said so, that's why!

I would've sworn this story came after #116, the end of the "Morgan's Quest" storyline, but nope! One short. From 1987, Warlord #115, "The Citadel of Fear!" Written by Michael Fleisher, art by Ron Randall.

The issue opens with a desert caravan that tempts fate by talking about the recent scourge of the desert...the Warlord? Who has been leading raids for captives, taking them to a "citadel of terror" from which no one has ever returned--okay, first off, it's "Citadel of Fear," it's right there in the title; second, if no one ever returned, how did anyone hear about it? Regardless, during the attack, one caravanner kills himself rather than be taken, leading the Warlord to kill one of his own men in rage.

Meanwhile, much closer to Shamballah, Travis, Mariah, and Shakira have just arrived, their quest to save the magically-aged Jennifer seemingly a failure. More oddly, Travis seemed to have forsaken his wife Tara, now declaring his love for Mariah. Shakira thinks Travis is acting a fool, and rides off...I'm more than 90% sure Travis wasn't 100% faithful to Tara, if that sort of thing was even an issue in Skartaris. Back at the citadel, the "Warlord" marches his prisoners in, then unmasks: she's Y'smalla, a Vashek assassin. And she's using an image inducer-style device, courtesy of her partner here: Desaad! Yes, Darkseid's lackey, from the New Gods Desaad. This issue was a Legends crossover; I have to say it's been a dog's age since I've read that one. Anyway, Desaad has some kind of mission there, but is also enjoying the opportunity to torture peasants and feel their pain--that seems new; I would've thought he'd be all about inflicting pain but not receiving it; unless I'm misremembering. (Y'smalla got an entry in an Who's Who update, shortly after the Watchmen entry, but that probably makes her one of the better-known Warlord bad guys. Check after the break!)

Travis and Mariah ride into a village, that had earlier suffered a raid by the fake Warlord, so they're not thrilled to see them. They're captured and going to be burned at the stake, although a rider does take off, to tell Tara. The rider gets there in time to see Tara captured by Desaad, so then has to ride back and save Travis and Mariah. He then takes them to the citadel, where Travis tells Mariah while he doesn't love Tara anymore, he still has to save her. That's not entirely true, though: Mariah knows Travis only loves her because of a magic amulet, and is feeling more than a little guilty about this. In the Citadel, Desaad had planned on killing Tara, in front of all the captives, as Morgan, to further break them; but with Morgan coming Desaad has to think quickly and create a different illusion: Tara getting fed grapes by loincloth-clad hunks.

Still, Travis sees through the illusion, with another magic item, a ring I'm guessing was from a prior issue even if I don't recall it right this second. Desaad knows when it's time to bail, and skips out as a huge chunk of machinery is about to crush Tara and Mariah, with Travis only having time to save one! Knowing she'd never be able to live with herself, Mariah tosses the amulet into a fire, freeing Travis to save Tara. Luckily, even though they weren't close, Shakira had stayed nearby, and helps Mariah get clear. Tara and Morgan are reunited; while Desaad consoles himself with the thought that he had damaged Morgan's legend, and Y'smalla was still out there...

Warlord had a Crisis crossover around issue #91, but I don't know if readers were clamoring for the book to be part of the DC universe. This wasn't the last time the New Gods would come up, either. After the break: how about I blog the same damn comic twice, because I found it in the quarter bin, and didn't think I had done it already since it was scheduled for seven years from when I originally wrote the post?

Because it amuses me, and because I didn't want to have a solid week of Warlord posts, I've scheduled them out to 2030; but let's sneak one in now! From 1987, Warlord #115, "The Citadel of Fear" Written by Michael Fleisher, art by Ron Randall.

A desert caravan of merchants is almost safe and dry, when the scourge of the sands attacks--the Warlord, "and his blood-mad horde!" Riding his traditional armored black steed from back in the Grell days, Warlord wants prisoners, even killing one of his own men for letting a merchant kill himself to avoid "the citadel." Meanwhile, near Shamballah, the Warlord and his companion Shakira and his new girlfriend Mariah--wait a minute! That's not right...Travis wonders what their next course of action will be, since he still hasn't figured out how to save his daughter Jennifer, or how to tell his wife Tara he was with Mariah now. We'll probably get to the previous issues eventually, but Mariah has accidentally-on purpose used some kind of love amulet to make her long-time crush way too devoted to her. Shakira, seemingly far more chaste than I would've ever guessed, calls Travis on it, then takes off in a huff.

Back at the aforementioned citadel, as captives are shuffled off to the dungeons, the 'Warlord' makes a report to none other than Desaad of the New Gods! Under an Apokoliptan disguise, Y'smalla of the Vashek Assassins was greatly enjoying the opportunity to destroy the Warlord's good name; while Desaad had some mission going (maybe even a plot against Darkseid!) but was mostly just enjoying torturing captives, and experiencing their pain as well. Y'smalla knows he's a nut, but she was getting what she wanted, so...Long-time DC readers may actually recognize her from the house ads for Who's Who Update '87! Bottom left corner!

Travis and Mariah ride into a trashed village, and are immediately attacked by the villagers, who are confused why the Warlord would return without his horde, but are more than willing to have them both burned at the stake. A lone rider leaves to get his queen, but Tara has her own hands full, as she's visited by a disguised Desaad, who captures her. The rider goes back to free Travis and Mariah, and leads them to the citadel; where in front of his collected prisoners, Desaad plans to torture Tara to death under the guise of the Warlord, which should kill his reputation throughout Skartaris.

Travis pushes hard on the way to save Tara, explaining to Mariah that he still felt he owed her that; while Mariah feels like dirt. Desaad tries a bit of trickery first, with an illusion making it seem like Tara was just at a really hedonistic spa day, but a magic ring from a prior issue lets Travis see through it. Well, Desaad figures he's probably done enough, right, so time to split; as falling machinery is going to crush Tara and Mariah, and Travis only has time to save one of them! Knowing she would hate herself, Mariah tosses the amulet into a fire, to free Travis to save Tara, while the returning Shakira saves Mariah. Shakira did that sort of thing a lot: leave, then come back like she couldn't trust her friends not to die without her constant guidance. Reunited, Travis kisses Tara, while Mariah wonders if it's better to have loved and lost, and Desaad takes his leave of Skartaris, wondering what damage he might have done to the legend of Travis Morgan...Look, they had to justify the Legends crossover somehow! 

The next issue would be the conclusion of "Morgan's Quest," which had been running since #101: so many side-quests! Poor Jennifer had probably spent at least a couple months as a 100-year-old woman, but hopefully we'll blog that one someday. Maybe even someday before 2030, but no promises!

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