Generic Blog Post.

I don't remember my family buying any, but I do remember generic packaging being a fad in the 80's. Instead of a brand name or even store brand, the generic alternatives were in a plain white label, with nutritional information, a bar code, and that was about it. The theory was the generic options would be less expensive, even though they were often produced by the same factories that made the fancier versions. I'm actually hard pressed to remember ever seeing any in hand, honestly. This one I thought was just a joke when I saw it on the Mighty Marvel Checklist, even if it was in the Hype Box! From 1984, Generic Comic Book #1. There aren't credits, but per the GCD it was written by Steve Skeates. Somewhat appropriately, my copy is slightly dented and has an aftermarket price tag on it; but as a direct market book it doesn't have a proper UPC code! I don't know if there were newsstand copies.

The ad copy promises a super hero and a villain, and it does deliver, without a lot of frills. Our nameless hero is a hard-luck case in the vein of Spider-Man, before even getting his powers: while he was engaged and his parents were alive, he wasn't making enough money for his own home or to afford an operation for his comatose little brother. (Can't afford to move out of his parents' or healthcare? I'm surprised this hasn't been repackaged as Millennial Comic Book #1. It's just as tired of a joke.) He even gets mugged on his way home, which leads to him taking out his anger on his beloved Three Mile Island snow globe. He had collected radium-covered glow-in-the-dark trinkets for years, which finally ends up giving him powers now: your standard super-strength, super-speed, and so forth, along with white hair.

At his nondescript office, our hero gets the hassle from his immediate supervisor, who hates him; and a rather forward co-worker. After a check-in with the villain of the piece, the hero goes to Super Hero Suits of Flushing Inc. for a suit, and has to go with the generic white option. He's able to stop a few muggers, but the bad guy's hypno-helmet makes him doubt himself, and he gets knocked out. Regrouping with a plan, the hero finds the bad guy and his thugs robbing his office, and stops them, since he had recorded a little positive affirmation for himself to counter the hypnosis. Things are looking up for our hero...for about three panels. In the Mighty Marvel Manner, he suffers a reversal after that: his boss had set up the robbery, to cover his embezzlement. With him arrested, the hero's supervisor was now running the office, so he could forget that promotion. In utter despair, he realizes he's actually worse off than he was before becoming a super-hero. That's a bit of a down ending, but it's also a quintessential Marvel ending, isn't it? The hero beats the bad guy, finds himself even more screwed: No spoilers, but they even recently ended a movie like that.

I read this thing again to post this, and were there jokes in it? Did they just not land for me? Or was this played largely straight? The bit with the muscles popping had to be a joke...But as far as a lot of the plot and the supporting characters go, you would see versions of them in tons of Marvel (and other) comics, for years. Also, I'm hoping Moon Knight isn't the generic superhero outfit with a couple after-market add-ons and a hood. Another blogger did a pretty good takedown of this one here, so check it out for more scans.