Happy Halloween!

Four day weekend! I feel like I've done little all month except sleep and watch horror movies, although I'm momentarily pressed to say if I saw any good ones. Let's think for a moment. 

 The Series is on as I type this, but Flesh for Frankenstein and Blood for Dracula are on Pluto now. I'm not sure either are very good, but they're distinctive. Udo Keir just gave a seeming 10-minute dying soliloquy...Pluto's Universal Monsters channel has alternated between its regular schedule, relatively recent horror movies, and long marathons of the Munsters. I did like Cry Wolf, in which some private-school brats make up lies about a murderer, that maybe lead to some murders. The Atticus Institute was a 70's-flavored faux-documentary about psychic research, then demonic possession: not a great one, nor well-reviewed, but it hit some marks for me. Oh, and I'd been wanting to see the Lair of the White Worm again, and Pluto delivered there, too! That's another that might not be for everyone, but it's striking, and hey, Peter Capaldi! 

Over on Shudder, I think most horror fans liked In a Violent Nature more than I did; but there's one kill in it that is spectacularly brutal. It felt ponderous to me, though; like a Friday the 13th with a swelled head about itself. Azrael was OK, didn't like MadS, you should have seen Audition already, didn't like Daddy's Head, I liked the WNUF Halloween Special better than the latest V/H/S but both have moments. Oddity is, well, odd, but likable. The Demon Disorder has John Noble, that's always worth a look. I didn't love All You Need is Death, but it was something new, and it set up a great joke on BlueSky's Simpsons Books. (They had a good one for Oddity as well!) Saw Eight Eyes and Hell Hole; okay. Humane wasn't bad...did I watch all of these this month? Well, maybe. #ChadGetsTheAxe feels like I've seen that same movie forty times on Shudder alone, but honestly watching influencers get hacked up is entertaining...(in horror movies, not really!) See also: Mean Spirited. Herd has zombies and rival militias; I'm not sure which annoyed me more. Backcountry suuuuuucked; bad choices, unlikable characters, you may have heard me cheering for a bear to eat a guy. Oh, but Dr. Caligari is a campy cult classic, that visually reminds me of Liquid Television, and I really liked Stopmotion because I thought it maybe had a good message: make a movie (or comic, or whatever!) you would want to see. And the Stone Tape, 70's BBC terror from Nigel Kneale. 

 Somehow, I watched a few more after typing all that! Eli Roth's the Green Inferno really, really liked Cannibal Holocaust, and I don't get the ending: the last survivor lies about the cannibal tribe, to implicate big-business encroaching on them, but why? Somebody's going to think "ooh, friendly natives!" later and they specifically weren't. I only caught part of Christina Ricci's the Gathering, but I saw enough that I would've been annoyed if I sat through the whole thing. I liked teen movie spoof/time-travel puzzler/slasher Detention much more: the horror aspect isn't as strong, but it's good fun, and seemingly had a massive budget for music licensing!  

Woof! I also watched some DVD's! I may or may not have finished the complete Night Gallery set by now. Hmm, maybe not, I was up to season two episode 9 now. I also watched my Hammer horror favorites, Quatermass and the Pit, Frankenstein Created Woman--I love the Peter Cushing Baron, an amoral steamroller for scientific advancement at any cost that usually ends each movie in a massive fiery explosion but is back at work the next installment--Dracula: Prince of Darkness, and the Shaw Brothers crossover Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, which is kung fu fun.

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"Sword."

I could look it up--fine, I will! I guess I got Ghost and Luis in 2019: they're in the background of the annual group shot, but I don't think they've appeared in any strips since? Well, better late, I suppose. This isn't the same Ghost that was in Thunderbolts with Sat and Moonstone, but they treat her about like she was. Also, for little apparent reason, I thought both the comic Ghost and the movie one had the same sibilant speech pattern as Cobra Commander. Didn't go with that; maybe Moonstone was seeing her for speech therapy as well. 

The D'spayres are quiet this time around--are they planning something, or did I forget to give them dialogue? One of them was going to mouth off to Kurt, but might've got interrupted. Side note: I checked, and I could get another one almost immediately if it came down to it, but I don't think I want to pay full-price for another...yet. Maybe if there's a skyrocketing demand for Rintrah legs. 

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Wrightson cover, should be a horror comic...

I felt a little bait-and-switched after opening up this one, but we'll see: from 1975, House of Mystery #236, cover by Bernie Wrightson.

OK, I'm pretty sure I could search just the blog and find a bunch of Steve Ditko horror stories; although I'm hard-pressed to remember if any were super-scary? Or were they usually morality plays of various degrees of hokeyness? Let's see how this one goes: "Death Played a Sideshow" Written by "Coram Nobis" (David Vern), pencils by Steve Ditko, inks by Mike Royer. Spiritualist/mentalist "the amazing Dr. Krupke" is a fake and a hack, snowing rubes with some ghost effects, and letting their imaginations fill in the rest. Today he's running a "purification rite" scam on an absolute chump, 'burning' money to prove his love. Krupke eventually declares him "pure," or at least broke, but that he shouldn't do anything for three days. Namely, because the carnival will be moving on before then...but, the chump gets word his love eloped with somebody else, and tries to get his money back. Krupke bashes him over the head with his mystic kettle-thing, killing him. He then dumps the body in the river, where he knows it will be found: when the cops question him, Krupke says he returned the guy's cash, but was worried he might still kill himself over losing his girl.

The chump's friends work with the cops, to try and trick Krupke into confessing with a black-light ghost. Sure enough, the ghost scares Krupke into running crying to the cops to confess; but the friends weren't as successful as they thought: their fake ghost hadn't been able to tunnel in and missed his cue, so who...? Yeah, whatever. Let's see how the second story goes, "Deep Sleep" Written by Jack Oleck, pencils by Paul Kirchner, inks by Neal Adams. John visits his college friend Alan Trent and his sister Elizabeth, both of whom are nervous wrecks, terrified of the "curse of the Trents." They allegedly had a family history of seemingly dying, and being buried alive...which seems like the sort of thing that would have come up in college after a night drinking, but again, whatever.

No one else seems to believe them, and they might have a point? How would you know someone had been buried alive, unless they had made it back? The Trents have taken precautions, though; with an elaborate bell system. Did I say elaborate? It's a string tied to the corpse's finger running from the family tomb back to the house. Elizabeth dies first, although Alan swears she isn't actually dead; and insists that one of them always stay awake in case she rings for help. After a week of that, John's ready to call it; and slips Alan sleeping pills so he can finally get a good night's rest. But the next morning, Alan is mortified, since he dreamed the bell had been ringing. They check, and find Elizabeth had been alive--last night, anyway--and had tried to signal. Feeling he owed Alan, John was now himself trapped, forced to stay in case Alan 'died.' Cain returns for a cheerful denouement, though: John had stayed...for fifty-five years, dying before Alan, who was still around and just insane.

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Wasn't expecting Dracula to pull a January 6th, but here we are.

I just picked up a dollar copy of this one, and opened it up...directly to that page, like it was cursed. From 1992, Tomb of Dracula #4, written by Marv Wolfman, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Al Williamson.

And of course, I wasn't positive I had even read this, but sure enough, there's an old post from 2018 with the first issue; where I indicate I was missing the second issue. Without having the other issues next to me, I think Drac was dabbling in psychic power here, and while he had an army of zombies at his command, he looked like crap, dead and rotting. Blade guest-stars, but closer to his loose-cannon characterization of the original series: he's willing to do just about anything to kill Dracula, and isn't taking no for an answer. There were also a few new supporting characters, that Wolfman may have been trying to seed for later use; but where do you go after Dracula? Anything else would be a comedown. Read more!

Is this enough Twilight Zone for one spooky season?

You know I'm not that organized, we could have it every Friday the rest of the year for all I know. Probably not, sure, but...From 1966, the Twilight Zone #14, cover by George Wilson.

"The Day that Vanished" is longer than most of the TZ stories I've seen lately, an 11-page Dick Wood/Reed Crandall number. An island resort has a strange visitor; a beat-up scientist who claims aliens have invaded the island, and everyone except him had lost a day. The resort manager scoffs, but evidence starts to pile up: the TV listings are a day off, and the Wednesday boat seemingly arrives a day early. The scientist had been diving in an experimental, lead-shielded suit; when everyone on the island was seemingly frozen like stone, and saucers arrived! The scientist tried to fight them off...but should he have?

After four pages with "The Death Car" of Franz Ferdinand, we get "The Lost Genius," which I swear I've seen before--yeah, in Mystery Comics Digest #12, which has a ton of Twilight Zone. Anyway, a child prodigy is making huge advances in music, math, missile launches, whatever; but a strange visitor seems to turn him into an ordinary kid. It's a defensive move by an alien race; but they also figure the kid's probably gonna be happier that way.

Finally, in "The Lost Oasis," the Nazis aren't quite beat yet in North Africa, but Major Von Scharf has had about enough of his cook, Gustav, a peaceful bumbler. He sends Gustav to find a water supply, or more likely die in the desert; but he finds the mythical Garden of Peace, an oasis figurative and literal for soldiers tired of war. Gustav tries to bring water back for the men, but since they weren't ready to leave war behind yet, the water and camels seem to dry up. Gustav suggests, they could go to the Garden, get out of the war; and Von Scharf considers that desertion, and court-martials Gustav. Only a surprise shelling saves him: Gustav makes it back to the Garden, but to the other Germans it's only a mirage. Without water, they're quickly wrapped up by the Allies. 

I feel like these have been averaging maybe one "good" story an issue, but I didn't love this one. Still, this might be the oldest single Twilight Zone I have? Which, considering I pay between $1-$3 for most of them, isn't that surprising.

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I should be glad of more Halloween time, but...

In a horror movie, this would be an unsettling moment early on, where a character seemingly loses track of time for no good reason: I would've sworn Halloween was this week. Nope! And I have a very nice, very fun, five-day vacation coming up...right before the real horror, Election Day. I'm sure that'll be relaxing as all get out and won't gnaw at the back of my mind...Well, if we're honest, losing a week here or there doesn't mean much, when I keep doing the same things regardless. Namely, we're watching Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires and tackling a big one: 100-pages from 1974, Unexpected #157, cover by Nick Cardy.

A reporter interviews the last of a line, in "The House of the Executioner." (Story by Leo Dorfman, art by E.R. Cruz.) The ghosts of the Grue family haunt the family home, although Loren, the last surviving member, isn't worried about them killing her. Only one ghost doesn't do much: Uncle Jonah, who had been a hangman briefly, before the state changed to the electric chair. Jonah had been trained extensively on use and operation of the chair, before the state changed its proverbial mind again and gave up capital punishment. Furious, Jonah died of a rage-stroke, but in his will stipulated a working electric chair be kept there, to show he had been ready to do his duty. The reporter resembles Jonah's single credit as a hangman, though: his brother...there's two more pages, you can guess, huh.

Two girls visit a western ghost town in "The Corpse in the Dead Letter Office." Marge wants to see a ghost, and finds an old newspaper with a personal ad...did they have those in the 1870's? Marge impulsively jots off a note answering the ad, but is then seemingly compelled to wait for a response. Can her friend save her from the spirits? Well, it's in the title...(Art by John Calnan.) Then, "Something's Alive in Volcano 13!" Two months after a volcano expert disappears in a crater, a sexist reporter elbows his way onto a mission, with Dr. Susan Akers and her "Iron Mole" tunnelling machine. Deep underground, they find the volcano expert, turned into a giant caveman by trapped gases. Does anything good ever come of exploring caves in these comics? (Art by Jim Mooney.)

A young thug is given a magic canvas by a hobo, in "The Man Who Cheated Death." From then on, whenever he made a narrow escape, whatever nearly got him would appear on the canvas; but what will happen when he runs out of space? (Art by Bill Ely.) "Mystery of the Sorcerer's Squad" features a bunch of antique oak wands sold at a magicians' convention, that turn out to have actual powers! Or do they? It's an elaborate sting operation, as the cops let a mobster buy them with stolen cash, but one turns out to really really work! This proves magic exists, and could change law enforcement techniques for years to come...if the head lieutenant didn't burn all the wands in the end. Gotta maintain that status quo! (Art by Ruben Moreira.)

Bill Ely again on "The Phantom Duel," as Raoul kills Pierre in a duel, but Pierre swears to come back for him. Then, Sheldon Moldoff art for "Beware, I Can Read Your Mind," as a young boy exposed to radiation grows up with the ability to duh, read minds. But, he feels stifled as a sideshow act, so he does some courtroom work to gain some prestige, or at least notoriety. Swell, except his power has grown to where he hears too many thoughts...I hadn't mentioned it before, but most of these stories end with some variation of "unexpected" worked into the last panel, which I guess used to be the book's gimmick?

"I Battled the Abominable Snowman" is another one that's exactly what it says on the package, isn't it? (Art by Leonard Starr.) "Born Loser" is a slightly more modern tale, as a hard luck bum tries to get thrown in jail so he could get a decent meal; and of course fails miserably until it would actually be inconvenient to be arrested. Sad trombone noise. (Story by Carl Wessler, art by Sonny Trinidad.) "The Dagger's Deed" is a hokey one-pager, then another older reprint, "The Mystery of the Teen-age Swami." 'Swami' would be dated enough, but a hyphenated 'teen-age' dates this even more! (Art by Mort Meskin.)

"A reasonably honest morgue-keeper" is forced to turn "Body Snatcher!" to make enough cash to keep his girlfriend, which seems an odd job in the late twentieth century; as well as the fact that he was rolling large by selling stiffs for $7.50 a pop. (Story by Carl Wessler, art by Rich Buckler.) Finally, George Kashdan and Alfredo Alcala ask, "Who Will Kill Gigantus?" An African tribe worships a completely preserved dinosaur, until it is stolen by a greedy explorer. Of course, the dinosaur goes on a rampage, and the explorer gets his, which is hardly unexpected--damn, now I'm doing it! 

Unexpected would run 100-pagers for the next few issues, until #162. This issue has a USPS statement of ownership, to boot. Average number of copies sold during preceding 12 months (total paid circulation): 164,344. Actual number sold for issue nearest filing date (total paid circulation): 190,500.

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"Infected."

Are we setting up rules for D'spayre's appearance? Will we go back on them later? Did I buy another D'spayre just for this storyline? Will I buy more if I see them at the toy show?...I feel like you know the answer to all these questions already; look deep in your heart. Read more!

Wait, an actual horror comic! That may or may not be scary, but E for effort.

Wow, this comic looks like it crawled outta a grave! The cover promises "The Nightmare Men" and "Three More Macabre Mysteries" but there's actually five stories total. Which still doesn't help, but...from 1975, Uncanny Tales From the Grave #9. Cover by Ed Hannigan and Klaus Janson, maybe.

On said cover, "The Nightmare Men" are terrible monsters, but in the titular story they look like they're from a branch of service, with admittedly terrible color schemes. I suppose you don't need camo for nightmares, though. A dictator gets treatment for his nightmares, from a doctor with a brother in a concentration camp. The doctor is disappointed in himself that he didn't murder the dictator, but his cure might not have helped the dictator, either. (Art by Mac L. Pakula.) That one and the opener, "Don't Answer the Phone!" were both from 1957's Strange Tales of the Unusual #10, Comics Code-approved horror. Boo. It's a nice Gray Morrow opening shot, for a slight tale about a murderer hounded by phone calls from the grave until he confesses.

"Four Empty Chairs!" is a mystery, with a weird old man on the edge of town, who sits down to dinner every night with four empty chairs; as his family had disappeared after a lightning strike years before. But it seemed like he was talking to somebody, so the sheriff brings in a guy to read lips and see what he was saying...yeah, that seems like official business there. The old guy doesn't seem to notice the small crowd outside his window, like he was a store display; but it gets more nonsensical from there. (From 1957's Mystery Tales #51, art by Marvin Stein.)

"Peter and the Puppet!" opens with a wink, acknowledging savvy readers would have seen a million living puppet stories by that point, but were banking on the twist: the two seem to get along quite well, until they both fall for the same dame. Rather than let the puppet declare his love for her--and out him as a non-ventriloquist fraud--Peter hacks the puppet into kindling. The next day, the girl is surprised to see him without the puppet; she'd never seen them apart before, setting up a halfway decent twist! (From 1952's Marvel Tales #110, art by Bill Benulis and Jack Abel. Pre-Code, not that I think it mattered.)

The final story, "When the Walls Close In!" is described in the GCD as "An escaped war criminal feels claustrophobia until his guilt makes him confess." Although, said war criminal is also working as a vet, and plotting to steal his young assistant's growth hormone research to pass off as his own. The assistant gets wise to his scheme, and tells him his notes didn't include the secret ingredient, so nyah. He throws the stuff at a wall before leaving, and the walls seem to move, closing in on the war criminal, until he runs outside and confesses everything to a passing cop car. Dumb, but there's a scene where the criminal yells at the assistant, claiming the research was rightfully his, since he had been working for him; which seems like a rebuttal to the work-for-hire system the creators would have been under...(Art by Bob Brown.) Read more!

This isn't a horror comic either; any horror in this series was probably unintentional and after the fact.

On the Futurama episode "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" Fry tries to remind Leonard Nimoy of Star Trek, describing it as "You know--1966? Seventy-nine episodes? About thirty good ones?" Which is kind of how I've always felt about the series Excalibur, a book I love to death, even if it was like 127 or so issues, maybe 30 good ones? OK, they had more good issues than that, but when it was bad; it was usually just staggeringly mediocre, like it didn't swing hard enough to be bad. Like today's book? Let's see! From 1994, Excalibur #77, "Lowest Common Denominator" (Deep breath here.) Plot by Scott Lobdell and Richard Ashford, script by Chris Cooper, pencils by Robert E. Brown and Ken Lashley, inks by Randy Elliott, Keith Champagne, Don Hudson, and Jason Gorder.

There's a few upsides to this issue: we start with a rare look at Nightcrawler's childhood, where he's a happy-go-lucky, adventurous scamp. Who immediately gets his face rubbed in the dirt, as his best friend Christian tells him they can't be friends anymore, since his dad beat the hell out of him for hanging out with that "gypsy freak." Crying, Kurt tries to make a deal with God (not like that--well, maybe) to try not to be like the devil, if he could have his friend back. His adoptive mom, Margali Szardo's, picks him up again, telling him "love always lasts longer than hate."

Back in the present, Kurt had returned to Germany, at the request of his adopted sister/girlfriend Amanda, to rescue Margali; who was caught up in race riots stirred up by D'spayre. Sure, because there's never racial tension in Germany...D'spayre briefly lets Kurt see him, since he's got all the cards: Margali got her magic power from the Winding Way, which seemed to have terrifying lows, dizzying highs, creamy middles--no, D'spayre's point is, Margali was on top of her game in X-Men Annual #4, now she was too weak to fight him. Kurt then has a brief consult with Amanda, who can't help against D'spayre without getting zapped like her mom, but she would try to tamp down the riots...how exactly? Amanda's magic powers were pretty vague; and I don't recall her as being as blonde as she is today. (I thought she was more reddish-blonde?)

After a few subplot pages with the robot Zero, Nightcrawler catches up to D'spayre in the catacombs, and throws down with a sword against him. D'spayre grabs him, and tries to break him with his own bad memories of his friend Christian. Which fails, since there was a happy twist: grown-up, Christian had reconciled with Kurt, introducing his old friend to his young son. Kurt stabs D'spayre through the heart, which of course doesn't kill him, but drives him off: he ran out of juice, because Amanda had stopped the riots that were feeding him. Somehow. (Yeah, the riots are pretty much just dropped.) D'spayre is not especially well used here; this could've been the Hate Monger, Psycho-Man, just about anybody. Margali also gets a moment with Kurt: she had been worried he would be mad she had hidden his heritage with Mystique, but Kurt is more about forgiveness than most, and embraces the only mom he had ever really known. Which would probably be a high point to go out on, but no, there's two more Zero/Douglock subplot pages. (Aside: I was going to say, I can't believe I have a goddamn Zero action figure, but yes I can. There's so much re-use in that set.) 

Margali is kind and supportive and just seems like a good mom here: don't get used to it! That's about the last time we'll see that out of her. She'd pretty much go full villain in Ellis's run, which features some creepy, creepy bits; some on-panel, some in captions, some described just enough that if you put it together you'll be appalled. Short answer: there's a couple versions or timelines where she took her daughter's place, and considering Amanda and Kurt's relationship...yeah. Margali would also be involved when Amanda was killed/disappeared/written out in Nightcrawler #4, then turned Kurt into a monster in Legion of X so she could pull the "Hopesword" out of him. (That makes at least twice Kurt had a magic sword he could pull out of himself! Two nickels, yeah, but weird.) I was kind of thinking editorial over-corrected and made Margali bad to make Mystique (and/or Destiny) seem good; but no, that had been going for a while.

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One more Friday this month after this one, and I know I have more Twilight Zone comics.

From 1973, The Twilight Zone #50, cover by George Wilson.

He's no Howard Hughes, but millionaire pilot Lawes gets laid up after a busted test flight. Turning off his sun lamp, his nurse asks, how did he make his fortune? Crime, of course, silly! The nurse laughs it off, but Lawes was serious: he made his first fortune smuggling, but on his last run, he had seen a lost G.I. in the desert, but couldn't call in to get him help, since he was on an illegal flight. But, with a busted leg, Lawes isn't going anywhere, so the ghost of the G.I. finally catches up to him! Lawes tries to buy his way out of it, but the ghost doesn't need cash, he needs revenge, and has it all plannned out...Should be plenty of water in a hospital room, but Lawes comes up dry again and again. (Art by Adolpho Buylla.)

Another rich bastard comes to a bad end in "Nature's Way," as a billionaire puts reams of money into a cryogenic project, so he can be frozen upon his death and brought back in the future. And it works great!...except there's maybe one thing they can't cure even then. This is a little thin, but it's got Walt Simonson art!

The cover story, "Join the Club," features a burglar who lays an oil slick, to waylay a rich old socialite and make off with the fabled Starr Diamond. In the papers the next day, the socialite is just glad to be alive, since death had befallen three previous owners of the diamond; and the burglar nearly joins them when he drops his gun and almost blows his own head off. He then tries to force his superstitious fence to split the diamond, but the fence had been preparing for a bank job, and his works catch fire. The burglar escapes, but runs into the cops, who shoot at him but hit the diamond...but did they? The ending doesn't make a lick of sense; that happens every so often: I'm not sure a few more pages could've helped this one. (Art by Luis Dominguez.)

"Gypsy" is largely considered a slur nowadays; but it's used repeatedly in the last story; "The Vampire of East 29th Street." Anton Magyar may keep to the old ways, but his wife does not, and refuses to let him "fill their boy's head with that nonsense." She burns his "black box," not from an airplane, but Anton's magic supplies; and pawns a family heirloom, a candlestick that was protection against vampires and devils. Said candlestick is immediately bought by a vampire, part of the Evil Ones that had been hunting Anton; and they have a pretty good laugh confronting him. How could he fight without supplies? Could he get mandrake down at the supermarket? The wife is like zero help, and Anton is forced to run to lead the Evil Ones away from his son, but can he find the mystic ingredients he needs in the city? Oh, yeah; you can get everything in NYC, even if he has to run around a lot. Still, I'd be real mad at the wife; and I want to say most kids would also be sore if they missed seeing their dad melt some vampires. Read more!