Friday, November 08, 2024

I was worried "cave bride" was going to be like a pirates/manatees thing...

There's a Far Side strip, where the bomb-disposal guy Bob might be a little distracted, since his wife just left him...but I wouldn't have expected archaeologists to have the same issue! From 1976, the Twilight Zone #72, cover by George Wilson. (Heritage Auctions had it listed!)
"Cave of the Time-Mists" is gonna be what it says on the tin, isn't it? Archaeologists find a cave probably not seen since the stone age, but with an anachronistic cave painting of a modern-looking man with a gun. Dr. Ron Sheppard's girl had recently left him, so he doesn't feel like he has anything to lose and presses deeper into the cavern, and of course finds the mists that send him back to the stone age, where he's forced to shoot a caveman to keep him from accosting a cave girl. Sheppard intends to take the girl back to the present, but they encounter a cave bear, and he causes a cave-in shooting it. He makes a home in the past, giving the cave girl his ring; and his fellow archaeologists find their bones (and his gun!) in the cave, thousands of years later. I'm not sure if Sheppard did the painting himself, but why didn't he paint a note for the future? "Dear guys: I miss TV. Oh God, how I miss TV." (Art by Bill Ziegler.)
"Your Daily Horror-Scope," is a shaggy dog number, as a man has repeated events seemingly predicted by his horoscope; so he goes down to the newspaper to see if he can get answers. Sure, he does, but they suck. (Art by Jack Sparling.) So, let's go on to "Sorry, the President Cannot See You Today." Marlin is an ambitious schemer, climbing his way up the business ladder at Zorn Aircraft; although he only gets meetings with President Seaton's secretary Karlovian. Through blackmail, sabotage, and murder; Marlin keeps climbing, which doesn't seem to do Zorn Aircraft any harm. Seaton eventually retires, and Marlin takes the top spot, with Karlovian still his loyal secretary, there to "protect" him from meetings and callers. By locking him in a dark, windowless "executive suite," presumably to die. Honestly, that's a pretty good racket! Run the show behind the scenes, with the president as a front you could replace as needed. (Art by Jack Sparling.)

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