I would love to see an episode where the bad guy was like "The Lone Ranger? AND Tonto?...alright, pack it up. We'll try this two states over."

There's a Lone Ranger movie on TV, and Mr. Morbid asked, so we've got a second before I give this to my dad: from 1976, the Lone Ranger #27, featuring "The Election" and "The Protectors" Written by Paul S. Newman, art by José Delbo.

In the first story, a crooked politician tries to fix Colorado's election, against honest lawyer Len Wylie--nah, the first (and seventh!) governor of Colorado was John Long Routt! Admittedly, that feels like it would've been a pain in the ass to look up in 1976, so we'll move along. The crook had been spying, stealing Wylie's schedule, so he could get there first and rent everything ahead of him. The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Wylie stage a sting operation: some goons get the schedule, but then catch Tonto watching them. The crook falls for a fake meeting, and the Lone Ranger arrives in time after Tonto misses a meeting. Annoyingly, the Ranger doesn't arrest the crook, saying he'd get his punishment on Election Day, which hopefully didn't backfire on him: "...he's in jail, we've got photographic evidence of his crimes, the Lone Ranger AND Tonto testified against him, and he's still 40 points up in the polls?"

"The Protectors" has the pretty traditional protection/extortion racket, which is on the verge of going under after the Ranger and Tonto stop several of his schemes, and the people have turned against him. So, the extortionist makes a big push: some of his men rob a supply wagon, while others hit the bank. The next day, since the bank owner had been a 'customer' of his, the extortionist makes a big show of reimbursing the bank, out of his own pocket, which of course he does with the bank's own cash. Except, the Lone Ranger had covered the bills with green dye, which was all over the bad guys' hands.

Also this issue: the Incredible Hulk, in a Hostess Cup Cakes ad! Which were from years ago, but still feel too modern to appear in a Lone Ranger comic? Anyway, just looked up, and caught a Lone Ranger fist-fight that also involves them punching each other down a hill. Which just makes me think stuntmen were cheap as heck back then...Also, the Lone Ranger and Tonto just did that thing Batman always does, where somebody's still talking and they're long-gone. Rude. Read more!

I wasn't expecting this, and I tossed the comic away from me like it was a snake.

Come for the Conan, but I'm not sure about the rest. From 2016, Dark Horse Presents #21, featuring "The Swamp King" Story and pencils by Aaron Lopresti, inks by Matt Banning.

This was maybe Dark Horse's third incarnation of this title? The original had run 162 issues from 1986 to 2000, then I read the three years of oversized issues from 2011 to 2014, and this series began 2014 as well. This particular issue was 52 pages, but I don't know if they always were: I bought this from the dollar bin because of the Conan cover, and we get a short where he opts to help a young woman rescue her sister from "the Swamp King," who is a bit more monstery than usual; he kinda looks like Hellboy should be clobbering him. Conan gets betrayed, but he'd gone into that one expecting it and was ready.

The rest of the issue was assorted serials, most of them midway through their stories, but one was starting here: "The Suit: Hostile Takeover" by Dennis Calero. Which opens with the titular Suit interrupting, on horseback, the opening of--the Trump Plaza!? Motherpusbucket--I don't know the character of the Suit, but was the story a period piece? The 'Trump Taj Mahal' opened in 1990 and was closed as such October 10, 2016. Caldero also seems to realize Trump was shifty, he's not portrayed in a flattering light; although I'm not sure he looked even that good back then. Still, I was absolutely not prepared to see him there.

Sorry to close the week on a down note, but in better news, it's my birthday and I'm on vacation! And as usual, the blog will continue to trundle along while I'm out. 

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