A lot of times in the morning, I have the old western show Have Gun, Will Travel on, and one episode, "Full Circle," Paladin catches up with an old acquaintance, Quill, a shifty snake of a conman, who once sold him a bum mine, then skipped town in a dress to avoid gunmen, who then tried to kill Paladin. Years later, Quill needed Paladin, to verify his alibi for a murder he was actually innocent of, but Paladin's leaves him hanging, saying "you should've kept me alive, Quill." Of course Paladin gets sucked back into that one, and also has to settle with a old skunk and his two jerky kids who try to steal his stuff; Quill is later shot while again fleeing in a dress. It's immensely satisfying: everyone who gets shot in this one absolutely had it coming, and the old skunk laments his lost son, "who died for five dollars." I mention this, because you used to see this on old TV shows: a crook dressing up in drag to avoid the cops or something. It wasn't perhaps honorable, and certainly wasn't usual, but it wasn't considered pervy or anything. It's probably insensitive to the drag community, but then I kinda figure if that plot was tried today some viewers would make more of a stink about a dress than any crimes committed. Like a triple homicide, fine; but wearing a guy in women's clothing would corrupt the youth of the nation. Come to think of it, I think there's an old Power Records Batman story, where Bats sleuths out Catwoman disguised as a man, by her lack of Adam's apple. Which you don't usually notice in comics...

From 1989, the Punisher #20, "Bad Tip" Written by Mike Baron, pencils by Shea Anton Pensa, inks by Gerry Talaoc. Omigod, this dates back to when people could smoke indoors! And in comics! Frank is in Las Vegas, trying to stop the assassin only known as Belzer (Not that one! Probably...) from whacking a key witness in a mob trial. Frank did not have a lot to go on: Belzer maybe liked to gamble, and that was about it. A private investigator tries to take Frank with a blackjack later, thinking he was Belzer, which is a solid two-page fight sequence that just annoys Frank.

Spoilers for a 36-year-old comic after the break!

Frank sees where Belzer planted a bomb, and figures he would've wanted to be somewhere he could see it go off, like a nearby casino. Frank busts into the lounge, calling out Belzer's name; and he sees the woman that chatted him up earlier! The way she held 'her' cigarettes would've obscured her Adam's apple, and 'she' had a high-collar number on here. It was Belzer in drag...maybe. It's definitely a guy in a dress, but maybe wasn't even Belzer? With Frank wearing people-clothes, 'Belzer' has got no idea it's the Punisher, and is just as confused as Frank. Also, traditionally you can't put a silencer on a revolver, which I remember from a Batman issue with Jason Todd.

This was, as we've mentioned before, back when Frank could put on a suit and pass as a normal human being; as opposed to the Garth Ennis/MAX era, where a grizzly bear with a hat on would look less like a serial killer than Frank. (Having a regular haircut instead of a buzzcut/military one helps a ton.) It grated eventually, but I have an immense fondness for this stretch of low-continuity stories where Frank fought a wider variety of crime than just nondescript gangsters or gangbangers; even if I mock it occasionally for almost reading like it was generated with a plot wheel. "Today, in...Akron? The Punisher fights...videotape pirates...with a .50 Desert Eagle and a corkscrew." Read more!

Pretty sure I've ggnmornf'd on a first date, but I don't have self-respect...

60% sure I've bought this issue three times--not just because of the cover! Well, maybe. From 1989, Time Twisters #19, featuring more sci-fi shorts from the pages of 2000 AD, including two--no, three!--from that specific issue! Cover by John Workman.

"It's the Thought that Counts!" is a Peter Milligan/Steve Dillon number--the blond spaceman's chin is immediately recognizable as one of Dillon's! Two spacemen are on a secret mission for the ultimate weapon, although one plots to kill the other as soon as he can grab it. Also, I don't know if trial-and-error is the best way to try their grab-bag of weapons out...

"The Contract" is the first from 1984's 2000 AD #374, as a businessman misses his train, but a meek salesman then sells him a watch that can turn back time! A steal at five pounds...and his soul. Can the businessman get out of the deal? Or, judging by his actions cooking the stock market, did he deserve hell? (Written by Chris Lowder (credited as J. Adrian) and art by Massimo Belardinelli.)

"What's Up, Dock? is a bit of fun, with a shout-out for 2000 AD's editorial frontman Tharg the Mighty: the massive new supertanker Juggernaut was speeding to New York City, with only one crewmember. With all the computers, the captain was all that was needed, and even he was checking out for a nap...as a seagull gets in, and hopping on the keyboard, makes a few course adjustments, like full speed ahead! (Written by Alan Hebden, art by Jose Casanovas.) This and "Uncommon Sense" were from 1984's 2000 AD #372, the editor of this issue must've had an easy time of it! "Uncommon Sense" was by Hebden again, with Mike Collins on art, for a Twilight Zone-like short where an alien scientist attempts to help earthlings with their meager, paltry senses; by increasing them immensely. Results are mixed, as in, three deaths right off. Back to the drawing board there.

Hebden and Casanovas again, for "Working on a Chain Gang..." as three convicts think their luck has turned, when aliens abduct them...because there's a market for experienced slaves. (Sad trombone noise.) And another double-cross in "The Ghost Outside the Machine" from Milligan and Casanovas: a space miner shoots, then spaces his partner, but is haunted by his partner seemingly haunting him every time he looks out the window. Or, there might be a (slighty un)reasonable explanation. "The Art of Advertising" finds an ad agent scrambling after blowing his budget on a big sci-fi campaign, only to be told nostalgia was in now. But, when he hears about a mad scientist who claims to have invented a time machine, an idea is formed...that of course goes awry, that's just the style of these stories, sorry. (Written by Kelvin Gosnell, art by Massimo Belardinelli.)

Finally, "You Win Some, You Lose Some..." is Hebden with classic 2000 AD mainstay Ian Gibson: with earth under siege by the alien Grodge, a desperate back-up plan is put into place, to move the entire planet for safety! And for security reasons, only one man should be trusted with where...yeah, that's gonna go well. 

 For some reason, I seem to find this issue fairly regularly, but I'm not sure I've ever seen Time Twisters #18.

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How is Marvel allowed to use that as a title?

From 1996, Over the Edge #4, "The Joker's Wild" Written by Bruce Sakow, pencils by Robert E. Brown, inks by Tom Palmer, Brad Vancata, Bud LaRosa, and Mike Witherby.

Hmm, sliding timeline here: this references Ghost Rider #3 from 1990, which the biker later identified as "Ralphie" claims was two years ago. He had been part of the biker gang, the Cypress Hills Jokers, but had lost his mind after Ghost Rider arrived and his friend Angel was killed by Blackout. Which of course he blames on Ghost Rider, that's how things are done in super-hero comics. Passing himself off as a faux-Ghost Rider with a skull mask (but no flames! Poor production values, Ralphie) he goes on a pretty solid rampage, starting with blowing up a good chunk of the cemetary, which injures Danny Ketch's mom in her home. (I have the feeling she got hurt a lot in that book, like worse than Aunt May!)

Ghost Rider gives chase, as do the cops, with Danny's ex-girlfriend Stacy Dolan called into action: she knew it had to be an impostor, but I'm surprised she got let in on the secret identity. The anti-Ghost Rider task force seems to have a fancy building, and new toys from S.H.I.E.L.D, including a "neutron impulse blaster." Your tax dollars at work. It's pretty clear Stacy knows Danny/Ghost Rider is innocent, but she still takes a shot at him later: either Danny was not a good boyfriend, or Stacy was all cop. The confused Ghost Rider eventually stops Ralphie, largely because he ran out of road, after a sick jump onto the ferry. Danny and Stacy later visit Ralphie in the hospital, although were they friends? Well, I suppose it's a nice thought. Read more!

They might've signed the Geneva Convention, but I don't think their heart was in it.

I haven't supported any Kickstarter projects recently: partly because I think any action figure related ones are currently on-hold or DOA thanks to the unpredictablity of tariffs. (Kickstarted figures are never what I'd call a bargain, and unsurprisingly China hasn't volunteered to eat the cost of the tariffs. EDIT: The Prisoner action figure Kickstarter just launched; I just need to decide how in I am!) I think I've got probably a new Trekker from Ron Randall and another installment of Karl Kesel's Impossible Jones arrived recently; Shannon Wheeler's Too Much Coffee Man Saves the Universe (and Other Mistakes) is still coming, but I also have Larry Hama's Mounties vs. Werewolves backed as well. Which I mention as we grab an issue of his from the pile! From 1989, G.I. Joe Special Missions #19, "Getting There" Written by Larry Hama, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Andy Mushynsky.

Joes Lift-Ticket, Wild Bill, Muskrat, Repeater, and Lifeline are given a tough one: pick up a group of Joes "deep inside bad guy territory!" Before having to eat the orders, Wild Bill notes they have to cross two different hostile airspaces to get there, and their Russian counterparts in the Oktober Guard were also in the neighborhood. Bill has to eat the orders rather than burn them, since they were on strict "spark security" because the copter was filled with drums of fuel! They do catch some flak, which Lift-Ticket tries to put a positive spin on: it was only anti-aircraft fire, not surface-to-air missiles. Bill has to wonder, is that better somehow? (Larry also defines "86" there, in case you were confused as to its usual usage!)

Lift-Ticket gets them out of that with a desperate--and lucky--dive between gun emplacements and under high-voltage lines. With their instruments shot up, they may have to scrub the mission, but Lifeline trades his watch to a passing smuggling ship to get a new compass. Still, they had lost and burned through more fuel than planned, and next they run across a Soviet Hind chopper patrol. The patrol doesn't immediately engage, since they initially thought it was the Oktober Guard's copter...except, they knew the Guard's pilot, Daina, was hot; those two pilots, "one had a jaw like Stalin and the other one had a moustache!" Good eyes, there. Despite being armed for ground targets, the Hind pilots make a good show of it, but are brought down without casualties, since the Joes weren't mad at them. While they had lost even more fuel there, the Joes are able to salvage what they need from a downed Hind and its self-sealing gas tanks.

Finally arriving at the pick-up--they can probably see Chuckles's shirt a mile away--Alpine gives them a bit of hassle, since they had been trudging through Asia for three months, and "all you guys do is take a ride and enjoy the scenery!" He immediately apologizes when he sees two of them had been wounded just getting there; but the Joes by and large had solid team spirit, nobody gets mad. Read more!

"Notifications."

I get the feeling Zero could be more user-friendly... Read more!

Aw, now I want a Fantastic Four cake for my birthday. Or maybe just now!

Fantastic Four cake topper ad, from 2005's Last Hero Standing #1, which I guess we might as well talk about while we're here! Plot and script by Tom DeFalco, plot and pencils by Patrick Olliffe, inks by Scott Koblish.

Last Hero Standing--which I'm repeating, because I'm sure I've accidentally called it 'Last Man Standing' multiple times--was a weekly, five-issue mini set in the Marvel Next/Spider-Girl continuity; where the usual Marvel heroes were still around but older and largely inactive, while newer heroes were arising. Newer, lippier heroes: most of them don't seem especially friendly, even with their own teammates! While several heroes disappear mysteriously (including Wolverine!) most of the focus this issue is at Avengers Mansion, where Captain America--grey-haired and scarred--was wondering if it was time for him to finally retire. But, when the call comes down, he still picks up the shield...(The Avengers at the time also had American Dream, too, so...)

Peter Parker and the comatose Scarlet Witch also get taken, as well as the now-cyborg Ben Grimm. The various heroes meet up, following the trail underground...as the villain, hidden in shadow, shouts about "Revenge for an unforgivable sin that has forever haunted me!" If that isn't a clue, his henchmen appear to be trolls, and he uses the phrase "glorious purpose" here years before he would in his show! 

There are like two other Fantastic Four movie related ads this issue, including one for the plug-and-play video game. Which I believe I still have, the kids played it; but I wonder if I have a TV it could still plug into...

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So I'm a little tired the day after the con: I thought about taking Monday off, but I need that sweet,sweet overtime money to cover um, the stacks of books I bought. Actually, the books didn't really blow my budget; I dropped a smidge on DVD's--a Gatchaman set that might not have been as inclusive as I hoped, and Vampire Hunter D, which I watched last week on Shudder! I also got a nice Nightcrawler print, signed by X-Men producer Larry Houston. 

Now I'm trying to do a bit of sorting, since right now I'm trying to complete runs of Arion, Strikeforce Morituri, and of all things, TekWorld from the cheap bins. Actually, Strikeforce Morituri I'm probably down to one or two issues, and there's also that second run of the Earth X titles that I keep picking at. So, for here, a quick scanproof book!

From 1993, Psychonauts #1-2, written by Alan Grant and Tony Luke, art by 小林源文 (Kobayashi, Motofumi).

This was hyped on the cover as "The 1st ever American-Japanese creatively co-produced comic book!" Um, wasn't Grant British? This was a project spearheaded by Gene Pelc, trying to drum up an international hit; which would be published in a single black-and-white version in Japan, and four color issues in the states. Already we've got problems, as Kobayashi usually worked in grey washes but Marvel didn't want those muddying up the color: the blog Totally Epic has a pretty good post on the series, pointing out Kobayashi's art was usually way better than this series would indicate.

Plotwise, it's fine: in the year 2199, the orbital colonies that escaped earth are getting old and overcrowded, and after catastophic failure of one, six psychics are chosen for a mission to see if earth was habitable again. They wander the unfamiliar earth, getting involved with this and that, which involves both mutant cultists and hyper-intelligent dinosaurs in the first couple issues. I feel like this would've worked better in black-and-white, like as a serial in 2000 AD, but that'd lose the American market again. The characters all have powers, but not a lot of personality and no visual hook; so it's probably no wonder Psychonauts is far better known an unrelated video game. I wonder if they had to pay for the name, though?  

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Not like that! Well, actually, this time yes, I guess.

 

Tomorrow's the Lilac City Comicon again! And as usual, I don't have a plan in my head! Usually I'm there just to grab cheap comics, but this year guests include the voice of Squidward, Rodger Bumpass; and from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Nana Visitor! I like that. 

Anyway, the Youngest needed some laptop repairs, and I thought I should put in some OT for that and whatever I want tomorrow, so I've done little except work and sleep all week. We'll see if it pays off later, so have a good weekend!

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OK, so I'm 100% sure I have the whole series now...whadaya mean, 'where?' That's another question!

So I found Solomon Kane #1, #3-6, at the last toy show; and I knew full well I had some of them, and an old comicon post says I have #2 somewhere, so I'll trust that: I probably don't have to keep buying more copies, right?

Reading them just now, I recognized #4, a Mike Mignola issue. #5 also seemed familiar, but I'm not sure about #6: the last two issues are Kane in Africa, visiting his witch doctor/blood brother N'longa, and trying to determine if all magic was an afront to his Puritan beliefs. Which involves fighting vampires, of course. (All written by Ralph Macchio, with #5-6 adapted from Robert E. Howard stories.)

Now, if I can just put these all together sometime... Read more!

"Ride."

Whenever I read a big, ensemble story--Kingdom Come, perfect example--I have a tendency to get distracted from the main storyline, because I want to see what some random over there is up to. It's probably why I really did like Infinity War and its crossovers, because the tie-in books often made it seem like said randoms were also up to important doings, that maybe just weren't noticed in the main title with everything else going on. (Quasar's Infinity War plotline with the Ultimate Nullifier comes to mind!)  

That said, I don't recall if we see Doctor Strange, Baron Mordo, the Ancient One, any of those; in the Age of Apocalypse. It could be they kept to themselves, fighting threats to reality like Dormammu and such, without getting involved in the mutants' drama. They might even have relocated: I'm not sure it says anywhere the Sorcerer Supreme has to be based on earth. Or, they could have all been killed; it's entirely possible the AoA would be a world without magic. 

Anyway, traditionally in these alternate-reality stories, there's the possibility that your alternate self might not be someone you would like very much, and we're just having a bit of fun with what Satana would not like to see herself become. (If regular Kurt has any problems with AoA, he's willing to give him some slack since he came from a horrible situation; and if AoA had any resentment for this Kurt, it's tough to stay mad at him!)

Kurt's also remembering the Simpsons, season 4, "Homer the Heretic." A great episode, and one that holds some special meaning for me: I personally wasn't raised religious, because my dad liked to sleep in on Sundays! If I wasn't a godless heathen, I'd thank God for that. I think it was established pretty early after Kurt came back, that he doesn't really remember clearly his time in heaven. Of course, he was also barred from heaven and possibly soulless, but both those points may have been dropped since.

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