80-Page Thursdays: DC's Spring Breakout! #1

The day I picked this up was a busy one! I had to replace the battery in my car, which took a bit of doing: walk to the O'Reilly's, walk back with the battery, bike back to the hardware store for a ratchet set...I was lucky enough to get done before it started raining, and the rest of the day kind of looked like how everyone thinks it does here all the time: namely, Seattle gray and rainy. But I had to rush, to make it to a sale the next town over! Anyway, I'm nattering on, since this won't fit in the scanner, and it's also appropriate for here that the cover says "Eight Sensational Stories to Spring you Forward" and we look at it the week we fall back! From 2024, DC's Spring Breakout! #1, with stories by Joey Esposito, Thomas Krajewski, Mike W. Barr, and more; and art by Nico Bascuñán, Scott Kolins, Marco Santucci, and more.

Oddly, only maybe two stories seem really spring break-related: the Teen Titans "Relay for your Life," where Robin tries, and mostly fails, at turning a beach day into team-building exercises; and the Metal Men in "The Day the Robot Danced." Has Scott Kolins done other Metal Men stories? Good fit there. Doc Magnus's latest robot has disappeared, Gold has called in sick but really just wanted a day off, and the Doc might've been distracted when sending Iron and Lead to enter a surf contest. A helpful surfer helps Tin get the hang of it, and he also figures out the new robot's problem: namely, it was built to be too serious, which means Doc Magnus took a perfectly good robot and gave it anxiety.

In "Field Trip" Harley Quinn swings back by Belle Reve prison, to bust King Shark out for some birthday fun: I want to say Harley's currently written as well-intentioned but seemingly with the superpower to make bad decisions. The trip involves an alien monster, space, and Metropolis, because that's how she rolls. "Cold Feet" is a character piece with Batman and Mr. Freeze: Bruce Wayne is a wallflower at his own party, until Mr. Freeze shows up. Stalling, Batman explains, without any direct references to himself, that he didn't like to dance, as he had lost his partner, namely, his mom. But he still ended up at balls or cotillions or whatever, and at one a striking ballerina asks him to dance, which both brings him out of himself a little, but also teaches him how to lead...like, to lead Freeze directly into a trap. But, shades of the Gotham TV show here: the ballerina had been Nora, who had been Freeze's fiance at the time--and was at the party! He met young Bruce! That almost feels like Freeze should be putting two-and-two together in the paddy wagon.

Mike W. Barr's "Soul Survivor" maybe doesn't have anything to do with spring break, but didn't Barr create Katana? Yeah, he can do whatever. Superman and Jimmy are catching "Opening Day" for the Metropolis Meteors, and "Shape-Shift in the Park" has an unusual face-off--multiple face-offs!--with Clayface crashing a Shakespeare in the Park thing, and the Martian Manhunter being forced to play opposite him. The Lex Luthor story might be the oddest, as Lex finds himself buried alive, but getting himself out is how he proves to himself that he was better than those who were just "given" powers. But was he President again? Or maybe this was set when he was...? A choice, that also doesn't really sing 'spring break,' but this wasn't bad. I did get another 80-pager, but am mildly disappointed since I had been looking for DC's I Know What You Did Last Crisis, although that one maybe doesn't have the jokes the cover makes you think it might. Read more!

Lois and Jimmy could've just explained, you can do good, just not too much good, see?

Another one from just before the Byrne-era reboot, that maybe underlines why that was needed: from 1986, Superman #418, "The Replacement!" Written by Cary Bates, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Dave Hunt. Cover by Eduardo Barreto.

Mid-change from Clark Kent, Superman is abducted by aliens, but with good intentions: Superboy had saved their planet long ago, and it was now under attack by a "cloud-eater" they couldn't defend against. (Although advanced, the aliens were silicon instead of carbon-based, and the cloud-eater would gobble them up!) They beg to teleport Superman across the galaxy to save their world, and Supes of course agrees. The aliens apparently only had enough juice to teleport him, and get ready for a long flight back, but first leave a thank-you for Superman: a temporary replacement, to take care of earth while he was gone! One alien wonders if maybe they should've mentioned this to him; the other is like nah, it'll be fine.

The replacement makes himself known quickly, stifling a bank robbery by flattening the getaway car, then repairing instantly his damaged arm after a bazooka hit. Lois is on the scene to get the story, but worries about what this means...and where it might be going. Sure enough, the next day, Metropolis is disarmed, as every gun in the city is turned to dust. Although there's no proof directly tying that to the new "Superman X," Lana Lang reports "speculation runs high," but the replacement does score some points by quickly stopping a mid-air hijacking by Metallo. This seems to inspire another feat, as all the Kryptonite in Metropolis is turned into sandstone: yes, I think that'd been done before, but more had turned up since then? Krypton was a big planet and most of it apparently landed here...

Superman X then starts healing people at the local hospital, preventing car accidents with force-shields, and maybe funnest of all, powers-up Metropolis's senior citizens so they can protect themselves! The effect looks like Granny has learned to focus all of her chi into her iron fist. Then, he sets up broadcast towers, for a radiation that while harmless, forces criminals to turn themselves and their misbegotten gains in; and Lois and Jimmy decide yeah, things have gone too far. Using Jimmy's signal watch, they call in the replacement, for a prepared lecture on Superman's need for restraint. Maybe a PowerPoint. They also had news footage from Lana, of a bad scene at the hospital, which was mobbed by out-of-towners trying to get in on Superman X's cures, and a boy was crushed in the riot. Although he had been silent up until then, Superman X wails in anguish, then takes off into space, presumably headed home; while Jimmy ejects the video--which was fake! They made up the dead kid, to try and teach a lesson; figuring the replacement would have shared the real Superman's code against killing or unnecessary death. That strikes me as too far: if you have to lie to make your case, how strong is it? Or, was that the only way to de-escalate events before somebody really got hurt?

Everything returns to normal, or at least so they say: were the guns and Kryptonite all restored? The sick that had been cured were still good, anyway; so some good had come of it; but as Superman returns with a story for Lois and Jimmy, this time they had one for him.

There were more than a few stories like this, back pre-Crisis; trying to explain why Superman hadn't wiped crime or disease or weapons from the face of the earth. I think there's one with the Guardians of the Universe, where they accuse Supes of making earthlings soft and dependent on him? Post-Crisis they were largely able to say "Superman is mortal and fallible, not God" and call it a day. 

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I don't know if he's as good a sculptor as Alicia Masters, but he's faster.

I mentioned I was looking for a new copy of this one some time back, and the dollar bins did provide: from 1992, Superman Special #1, "The Sandman" Story and art by Walt Simonson.

Like we mentioned before, this special was a bit of a speed-run of the Kryptonite Nevermore storyline that ran (intermittently) from 1971's Superman #233 to #242. This version doesn't have I-Ching, but instead post-Crisis had Superman making a memorial statue for the alternate-dimension Phantom Zone criminals Zaora, Zod, and Quex-Ul: Superman had executed them in Superman #22, and still carried that guilt with him. He swears "...that I will forever be the champion of life and never its destroyer." That's pretty much as it should be, although the direct-sales version's UPC box notes "Doomsday is Coming!"

This falls into a relatively thin wedge of continuity now, although it was several years: after Superman's self-imposed exile in space, and after Jimmy Olsen had met the new Newsboy Legion, but before Clark and Lois were a couple...that might be a thinner wedge than I'd thought, since they were dating by Superman #45. If you have time to re-read that run of issues you could probably narrow it down further: Lex is wearing a black glove, so this was after he lost his hand to Kryptonite poisoning but before he 'died' of it. Anyway, exiting a storeroom at the Daily Planet and pretending to be absent-minded, Clark bumps into Lois, who was hot on the heels of a story, investigating the mysterious Cosmography Industries. Which, as luck would have it, was just in the middle of an experiment, that would go awry with a massive explosion. Superman takes off to help, closely followed by the Newsboy Legion (and their flying Whiz Wagon!) who pick up Jimmy, with Lois barging in as well. After getting caught in another massive explosion, that drives him into a pile of rock; while Superman is rescuing trapped scientists, he is interrupted by Lex Luthor arriving via helicopter, who tries to order Supes off of his property. When Supes gives him some sassback, Lex decides to show him what they had been working on there: synthesizing Kryptonite! And, he had a good-sized chunk of the original right handy...what the--?!

The Kryptonite does nothing to Superman, and he even goes so far as to nonchalently eat it. While Lois and the others don't arrive in time to see that, and Lex tells them he had just given Superman "a little snack as a gesture of thanks," Lex is seething as Superman flies away, but then notices him dip, just for a second, as he flew away. Superman shrugs off his momentary weakness, but Lex suspects there might be something there. Later that night, at the rock where Superman had been embedded, a duplicate of Superman forms out of sand, and attacks some guards at Cosmography (which should just be a smoking hole in the ground at that point...) while Clark discovers hey, his super-breath was gone. The sandman later attacks him at his home, seemingly knowing he was Clark Kent, but couldn't fly yet, and smashes itself lunging at Superman and falling out a window. Thinking the creature was pulverized, Superman leaves to investigate further; but the creature re-integrates from a pile of sand, now with heat-vision! (Long-time comics readers would've probably seen Marvel's Sandman do that many times; so it feels weird that Supes thinks it was gone!)

Luthor, after a brief interlude with an Aboriginal tracker he had brought in, sets his armored Team Luthor on the Superman double, who is eventually caught in a box for a chat: the creature wanted Superman, and Lex was more than happy to help it out. The next day, a bank robbery with heavily armed and trained goons draws out Superman, whose flight powers give out midway there! The sandman attacks Superman from an armored car; while Jimmy and the Newsboy Legion arrive: the Newsboys clobber the bank robbers in short order, while Jimmy realizes the sandman was stealing Superman's powers, and tries to run it down with the Whiz Wagon. No sale there, and Jimmy gets grabbed, but Superman then escapes in the Whiz Wagon, drawing the sandman away from Jimmy. Superman does have a plan, and luckily the sandman hadn't taken his super-speed yet, so it couldn't catch him before he got back to the Fortress of Solitude. The sandman recognizes it, as it thinks once he takes everything from Superman, it will no longer be in pain. The pain hit it every time it stole a power, and as it starts beating Supes in the Fortress, it spills how Lex had explained those powers, and it was leaving invulnerability for last, so it could enjoy beating on Supes.

With the sandman now a full-color dupe of Superman, it thinks it had beaten him unconscious; but Superman surprises it, seemingly giving it something else in a burst of pain. It sees, and then smashes, the statues of Zaora, Zod, and Quex-Ul; but is then stricken with remorse: Superman didn't kill. Panicked, it cries over the body of Superman, repeating his earlier oath.

Later, back at Lexcorp, Lex is feeling pretty smug, up until the moment he finds Superman in his office. Superman explains, while he couldn't prove anything, he didn't need to: the sandman had been feeling the pain of becoming Superman, but when it had everything, it sacrificed itself to save Superman. Which, inadvertently, saved Lex (and the world) from a Superman with no guilt or conscience; although Lex doesn't see it that way. 

This was a 50-page story, but the last couple of pages feel a bit rushed, like they were running out of room. Which in the special is taken up by pin-up pages, from some big names, like Frank Miller and Todd McFarlane! I feel like this issue might be overshadowed by the Death of Superman; but it's still great.

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Maybe this became a load-bearing piece of Krypton continuity, I don't know.

So I think I've said more than once, I've read more about Krypton's history, than any earth history; which I kind of mean as a slam on American education rather than on my own reading habits. I also thought DC maybe went back to this well at some point, but maybe not, or at least not like this. From 1968, Superman #205, "The Man Who Destroyed Krypton!" Written by Otto Binder, art by Al Plastino. Cover by Neal Adams.

There was a Superboy story with the same title a decade prior, but this might've been a hoax, and this the real deal: Black Zero was an alien saboteur, that had appeared on earth, and when the call goes out for Superman to find him, Supes takes Chief Inspector Watkins from Scotland Yard to the Fortress of Solitude. Superman's computers find Black Zero: he was disguised as Watkins! But, it's not going to be as easy as that, as after Superman calls for the Kandorian Emergency Squad to cover the exits, Black Zero tells them--in Kryptonese--they better not, and blocks their exit with a flaming hand. He then explains, he had been on Krypton, years ago: he worked for an "interstellar pirate empire" that had him destroy worlds on the verge of space-travel. Huh, I'd have to go back through this: I thought Krypton had space-travel, then went isolationist and gave it up. Although, Superman's mom had been an astronaut...maybe I'm thinking of Zenn-La. Or post-Crisis.

Further muddying the waters of continuity, Black Zero spies on Jor-El's report to the Science Council, that Krypton was going to explode: the Council doesn't buy it, but B-Z opts to check it out. He finds Jor-El's calculations were in error, and Krypton's core was going to settle back down. B-Z then restarts the chain-reaction, doing Jor-El a solid. Now, that would've meant that if Jor-El was wrong, he launched his kid into space for no reason, and it just happened to turn out okay? The entry for him there suggests, Black Zero may have undone Green Lantern Tomar-Re's attempt to save Krypton. Black Zero was now going to blow up earth, and taunts Superman, who can't bring himself to kill him, but Black Zero walks through a wall and escapes anyway, saying he only had three days "till the fireworks!" Superman seems a bit shook, but gets some unexpected help, from the Phantom Zone! Jax-Ur could almost be considered a family friend: he had worked with Jor-El, even gone to his wedding...before blowing up Krypton's moon Wegthor in an illegal rocket accident. Actually, although that was an accident, it was also an early step in his plan to build a nuclear arsenal and take over Krypton, which explains why he seems more like a hardened criminal than a rocket scientist. (In continuity, I think that probably soured the Science Council on rockets and space travel.) Despite all that, Jax-Ur claims he wants to avenge Krypton, but he can't be trusted, especially with super-powers under Earth's yellow sun...

Jax-Ur then takes an entire page, with a flashback to Krypton, to show he can be trusted on this occasion, as he swears by "the Colossus of Hadrad!" Before the Phantom Zone was discovered, criminals arrested would be forced to take a pill, that would light them up in the "search ray." Under the ray, their skeletons would glow, even through their clothes; but one shifty criminal escaped, by exploiting a blind spot in the Colossus, a natural formation that resembled a stone face. (Really resembled; somebody had to have touched that up!) Because this was a Silver Age story, they do take pains to explain that criminal got murdered later, but the story spread, becoming an oath of loyalty to Krypton's scum. This is just a little throwaway thing, but if you think about it for more than the time it takes to read it...Krypton was messed up, wasn't it? Was the planet always a police state, and we just never noticed because ooh, flying belts! Thought-Beasts!

Superman frees Jax-Ur, who had been able to see Black Zero's hideout from the Phantom Zone. The initial battle fails, as Black Zero pulls a lot of powers out of his ass was a tricky customer, surgically augmented by his pirate bosses. After-market plastic anti-hypnotic brain shield, the ability to psychokinetically create matter, like Red or Green Kryptonite or a shield. Jax-Ur gets turned into a snake-man by said Red Kryptonite, and Black Zero gives Supes a clue where his bomb is, which turns out to be coming from space. But, it was an "anti-matter dart bomb," set to blow if it hit anything solid, and couldn't be blown early without covering earth in fallout. Superman is again stymied, and goes back to work as Clark Kent: he can't even tell his friends the end was near, figuring it would be merciful not to. But Jimmy Olsen eating a Life-Saver gives him a clue: Superman drills a hole through earth, timing it out and hitting the trajectory just right, so the dart-bomb would fly through earth and out the other side! With earth safe, Superman blows up the bomb, but it was a tough explosion even for him.

Foiled, Black Zero tries to destroy Metropolis, with a massive mental hammer, but Jax-Ur had mutated into a Medusa-like form, and turns B-Z to stone. Later, Jax-Ur smashes the statue, killing him, saying he didn't deserve the Phantom Zone. Jax-Ur himself returns to the Phantom Zone (he would later be given other shots to redeem himself, and pretty consistently fail) as Superman wonders if they would encounter the pirate empire that ordered Krypton's destruction. I don't know if that happened, but I do think other factors or agents in Krypton's destruction would come up much later. It was Galactus in the Superman/Fantastic Four crossover; a book I definitely need to dig back up before the summer... Read more!

It's fun that they get a meetup that doesn't immediately turn into punching, or worse, Superboy-Prime.

From 1991, Superboy #16, "Metropolis: City of Tomorrow...Today!" Written by John Moore, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Kim DeMulder. Cover by Kevin Maguire and Ty Templeton.

We've seen a couple of these, tie-ins with the syndicated Superboy TV show; but this would've pushed the budget a bit too far. It's the conclusion of a time-travelling two-parter, as young Clark has an adventure in the Metropolis of the year 2240 with some "genetically altered J.D.'s" with an albino tiger caretaker, and the time-traveler Dancer, who brought him to destroy a malfunctioning time beacon. But, instead of 1991, he's returned to 2001! It takes Clark a moment to put that together, even after he sees himself fly into a white time void and disappear.

Clark figures, if he saw his future self, that must mean he gets back to 1991, right? Unless the whole timeline goes blooey or something. Still, he sees his old friend T.J. White on a storefront TV--man, there's a plot device that's gone away--and goes to him for help. T.J. believes him, since Clark was ten years younger than he should be, and takes him to the Daily Planet, where he would work in the future, but to see someone else. Clark takes off his glasses, and is introduced as his own cousin, "Clark Shuster," to Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen! T.J. knows Lois is going to be the one to figure things out, even if she is snowed by his lies about Clark's time-travel expertise. The four head to S.T.A.R. Labs, to see temporal physics expert Jessica Gary, and get there in time for another time rift to open, this time like a sinkhole. Clark thinks it's a path into the timestream, and Lois asks why he's the expert: Clark is about to come clean, although I don't know how much he was going to tell her, but is interrupted by Jimmy Olsen activating his signal watch! Clark can hear it, and is unused to the signal, so he's almost in pain. Jimmy thinks the watch must be "on the fritz," otherwise how could Clark hear it? You're...you're so close, Jimmy!

Dr. Gary and Clark climb down the time sinkhole, which changes Clark's clothes to Superboy's, then Dr. Gary slips, falls, and disappears. Superboy is lost in a featureless temporal soup, but comes through, to find Superman, on a sphinx! Superboy recognizes it as Dancer's headquarters, and they find an albino tiger cub and Dr. Gary inside. The doctor was acting weird, and her voice seems to have a reverb effect, but she deactivates the sphinx's time machine, then gets zapped out of existence! Only to return a moment later, as Dancer: she had set this up in the future, so she would be able to make things right. Superboy and Superman return to S.T.A.R. Labs, where Lois has questions about what happened to Dr. Gary and Clark Shuster, which Superman doesn't really want to get into but kinda seems like she'll wring it out of him. Superboy then disappears, returning to 1991 and Lana, who doesn't seem particularly interested in hearing about Clark's trip. 

 Perhaps serendipitous, but there's an ad for Armageddon 2001 in there, too! I had to take a look: this would have been just a couple months after Curt Swan got to do a few pages for Superman #50. He had been the Superman artist for so long, but DC seemed to think he was old hat: I wonder if his work on this series was an olive branch...or a consolation prize.

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That talk about dropping you to your death? Aw, that was just playful banter, baby!

I'm super-behind this week, but honestly, it usually takes me like two or three tries to blog a whole one of these, anyway. From 1964, Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #77, "The Colossus of Metropolis!" Written by Leo Dorfman (probably), pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Klein.

I know I was yelling 'Priorities!' at Supergirl the other day, but here we've got Superman putting a secret safe in for Jimmy, before investigating a time warp to the past. Still, Jimmy has a lot of crap that probably should be under lock and key; like the serums he used for temporary powers. He had recently been made an honorary Legionnaire, and Colossal Boy gave him some growth serum? Really? Somehow, that reminds me of a Smothers Brothers bit: "...no matter how many frequent flier miles you have, they don't upgrade you to 'pilot.'" Jimmy also has pictures--not like that, you pervs!--of the assorted girls he'd loved and lost (mostly lost) over the years, as well as of Lucy Lane, who is described as having brushed him off for years. But, he was meeting her later at the airport; where Lucy's plane lands and is greeted by...Titano? The giant ape with Kryptonite vision?

Ostensibly to prevent panic, but probably more to be the center of attention, Lucy tells the story of Titano's origin...which doesn't make a goddamn bit of sense, let's face facts. I could accept a irradiated test-monkey growing huge; that's an old standard; but how in Rao's name did it get Kryptonite-vision? Does it just radiate that all the time, or only when it sees Superman...? I know, I know: it's got Kryptonite vision so the story will last longer than two panels, but still. A pilot also questions how did Titano get back to the present, after Superman left it in dinosaur times; but no time for that now...or at all. Moving on! Titano grabs Lucy, because...she's kind-of close to Lois? I guess? And Superman gets dropped with the K-vision; so it's up to Jimmy to leap into action with his elastic fluid...I'm kidding, he puts on Colossal Boy's outfit, and takes the growth serum. Aside: I hate the old Colossal Boy outfit. Like, it's from 1960, and it looked dated then.

To his credit, Jimmy doesn't wade in and try to punch it out with Titano--he would die. Instead, he tries to trick the giant monkey, with a disturbing man-sized puppet from a barber shop. Unfortunately, Titano sees the barbers, and decides to imitate that, so we get the tableau of a giant ape shaving a giant Jimmy. I--just--give me a second...god, my head hurts. Next, a playful romp in the sea, some ringtoss with another huge advertising display, and the cops show up and knock Titano out with gas. Which gives Jimmy the chance to rescue Lucy from a high ledge, to be the hero...and he absolutely blows it by being a colossal dick. Superman is about to step in, but Jimmy says he was only joking. I know he was, and I absolutely understand the urge to throw Lucy into the stratosphere; but not okay. Even more weirdly, a spaceship shows up, with giant queen Allura, who just happened to be "passing your planet." Stalker! Also, back in the sixties, the phrase "giant queen" meant something different; she was a literal fifty-foot-tall space monarch from Jimmy Olsen #64. She wants Jimmy, and he's like hey, why not? Except the serum only had a temporary effect: that's embarrassing, but better she find out now than their wedding night. (Hey-o!)

Allura still helps out, though; putting on a wig to vaguely resemble a giant Lois Lane and lure Titano onto her ship. (He was friendly enough, just huge and destructive.) Jimmy gets shot down by Lucy, rather deservedly this time; and later Superman and Jimmy watch a feed of Titano, with a new ape girlfriend, under the twin suns of Allura's world. (Wait; on that cover, she said Jimmy would have super-powers under those suns...somehow. Would Titano have like, double-super-powers now?) Jimmy feels like Titano made a monkey out of him, as he is once again left to sugar his own churro. Que malo! I haven't even tried to read the rest of this issue yet, since I feel like this story gave me a concussion or psychic damage or something; like my brain is going to leak out of my nose. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Superman Family #186!

I was looking at the cover for this issue for a while, trying to remember what Lois's pants were called: jodhpurs! Which I don't think I've ever seen anyone actually wear in real life. Also, it's a José Luis García-López cover, but no interior work from him. It feels like a couple strikes against this one already, and then we have Lucy Lane as a platinum blonde in the first story, so...from 1977, Superman Family #186.

"The Bug Lady" of the lead story of course isn't Lucy, but an Aunt May-looking old lady Jimmy Olsen is sent to investigate: she lives with a ton of bugs in her house in the sticks, but the bug-hating owner of a chemical plant is leading a push to have her evicted. After a man is attacked by hornets, the mob is ready to burn her out, but Jimmy isn't having it, even if he has to call in Superman. Jimmy does the legwork, and sure enough the plant owner is in on a real estate scheme; but the insects then attack, driving the citizens out of town, but not biting or stinging anyone. The bug lady had got word of a gas leak at the chemical plant, and warned everyone the only way she could. Everything ends happily, even if the plant owner should be up on charges.

Next, "Save My Friend, Kill Your World!" is the opening chapter of a two-parter, but we saw the conclusion earlier: the insanely powerful Krogg appears on the JLA satellite, accidentally transported there as the Earth-2 Superman was trying to get to Earth-1, since he needed to borrow Jimmy Olsen to save his counterpart. Then, Lois and Superman go to Africa, in search of a GBS reporter lost while exposing a local dictator. To (over)protect Lois, Supes ditches her outside of town, where she gets captured by soldiers when she tries to stop a beating; but when he confronts the dictator he might not be as insane as he sounded. He had Kryptonite, which was somewhat more rare than it used to be, and had a machine that gives him control of Superman! Lois does, um, wear blackface here, as part of a disguise so she and the reporter Melba Manton can overpower some guards, defeat the dictator, and free Supes. And O.J. Simpson is referenced, to make this curdle even harder. ("Dateline: A Kingdom of the Mad" Written by Gerry Conway, art by Win Mortimer and Joe Giella.)

After more Krypto and Nightwing and Flamebird stories, Supergirl fights to save her adopted dad, so he can save her real folks. (Back in the day, both sets of her parents were perfectly nice; in later continuities who knows how many of them went bad?) "Rendevous with Reality" Written by Jack C. Harris, pencils by Alan Weiss, inks by Joe Rubinstein.

Not the best issue of this series I've seen, but every time I find another I'm surprised, so that's something. Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: Superman Family #188!

I know this title was pieced together from the other Superman books, but sometimes it still feels weird to have continued stories in an 80-page book! That should've been plenty of room! From 1978, Superman Family #188, featuring stories by E.Nelson Bridwell, Tom DeFalco, Gerry Conway, and more; and art by Ken Landgraf, Win Mortimer, Kurt Shaffenberger, and more.

It's election day for the science council in Kandor; and Superman and Jimmy Olsen visit to check it out. Unfortunately, some Kandorian separatists--whose goal is "to free Kandor of its bottle" but by any means necessary?--attack the family of Superman Reserve Squad member Van-Zee: he was also up for the council spot, but more importantly, was the current Nightwing! He's helpless with his family held hostage, and while he and Flamebird fight the original duo of Supes and Jimmy, the separatists use the enlarging gas to make them giant-sized! Relatively. They're still in the bottle, just big enough to lord it over everybody. The heroes have to fight the giants for a couple chapters, and Jimmy and new Flamebird Ak-Var have to start out resenting each other and then work through it.

Also this issue: Lois meets superhero wannabe the Human Cannonball, but he's not "The Mutant Menace of Metropolis!" Superman has to stop an alien disease, Krypto saves a train from a rockslide in remarkably difficult fashion, and Supergirl is on trial for banishing Shyla to the Phantom Zone back in Superman Family #183: she had served her sentence in the Zone, did Supergirl have the right to put her back in, even if she was a menace? Kara pleads no contest, but she has something in mind that her cousin can't see...or does he? 

Luckily, I do have the next issue, which features the conclusions to both the Superman and Supergirl stories.

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80-Page Thursdays: the Superman Family #185!

As happens sometimes, we haven't had this tag out for a while; but maybe we've got a few lined up for later. From 1977, the Superman Family #185, featuring "The Fantastic Fists and Fury Feet of Jimmy Olsen!" Written by Tom DeFalco, art by Kurt Schaffenberger, "The Great Superman Locked-Room Puzzle!" Written by Martin Pasko, pencils by Kurt Schaffenberger, inks by Vince Colletta, "The Sinister Secret of the Street-Stalker!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Win Mortimer, inks by Vince Colletta, "The Stray Superdog! Written by Bob Toomey, pencils by Juan Ortiz, inks by Steve Mitchell, "Beginnings" Written by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Ken Landgraf, inks by Romeo Tanghal, and "The Voodoo Machine!" Written by Jack C. Harris, pencils by José Delbo, inks by Vince Colletta. 

These 70's Jimmy Olsen story sometimes feel like they're trying to be more serious than his 60's stories; and this almost feels like an attempt at being topical. Late, but an attempt: when Jimmy tries to save a scientist from being mugged by masked thugs, he lets Jimmy use his invention: Computerized Atomic Powered Combat Clothing! With the powered boots and gloves, Jimmy is able to kung-fu the thugs away; but the scientist runs off, saying his invention would be safe enough with Jimmy. Jimmy takes the C.A.Po.C.C.'s to S.T.A.R. Labs to check them out, but the thugs attack there as well, and are driven off again. It is, of course, a scam: the scientist is in on it with the thugs, and the ploy was to wait until Jimmy got Superman to take him to the Fortress of Solitude to examine them. They would then learn the Fortress's secret location, and could then loot it. When that doesn't work, they try to remote-control Jimmy to fight Superman until they can escape, but come on.

In "The Great Superman Locked-Room Puzzle!" Clark and Lois are stuck in a ratty apartment, waiting for an interview with a rock star. Lois is getting impatient, but Clark can see the rocker is stuck in traffic, and surreptitiously crushes the doorknob to keep Lois from leaving. Which gives them time for cards and conversation: they had broken up recently, with Lois noting while they had worked together for years and were "seeing" each other for months, they didn't really know each other. The quotes around "seeing" are Lois's; which in another context could, ahem, signify something else; but in this case even when they were 'together' Clark probably always had to duck her to make time for Superman. Also, Clark can't shuffle cards and takes all day to make coffee: he's hardly a catch! But here we get into the same sort of territory as Commissioner Gordon: just how much do they actually know? The rocker shows up, saying there had been a fire, but Superman took care of it. Discussing it later, Clark says he's almost sorry Lois didn't believe he was Superman anymore, he would've enjoyed disproving her theories. Lois says he's not Superman, but if he was, he easily could've done all of that at super-speed while picking up cards or making coffee. He could even have faked a phone call with super-ventriloquism. Lois is dead-on with her assessment, only missing one thing: a momentary moisture on her cheek wasn't a leaky pipe, it was Supes kissing her cheek at super-speed! I'm...I'm not sure that's okay; but Superman reconsiders things with her, realizing Lois knows how he thinks, more than she thinks. I think.  

Next, Lois works the case of an old man vigilante roughing up muggers: in a bit of continuity, the cops are not thrilled with another vigilante in Metropolis, since Black Lightning had just debuted. Then a Krypto yarn, then Nightwing and Flamebird: that reads as an origin, as Kandorian citizens take up the mantles of those heroes since Superman and Jimmy Olsen weren't around. There's also continuity nods, as in the Jimmy Olsen story, to recent Justice League of America stories: Superman was a busy guy!

Lastly, "The Voodoo Machine!" pits Supergirl against criminals holding her foster dad hostage, threatening her foster mom, while her real parents have been forced back into the "Survival Zone." Which, is that related to the Phantom Zone? Separate? A rebranding for the Kryptonian non-criminals that tried to flee Krypton's destruction in it? That one appeared to be midway through maybe a three-parter, and wondered how many parents Supergirl would have left at the end of it. Read more!

I know there were DC Direct figures, but I've always been super-annoyed Mattel didn't make figures for Superman's supporting cast. Lois Lane seems like a given, but this issue makes a strong case for his pal, too. From 2019, Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #1, written by Matt Fraction, art by Steve Lieber.

This one's a lot more cheery and fun than the last Jimmy Olsen book we saw here, even though it opens with Jimmy's great-great-grand-something Joachim Olsson cheated and murdered by an ancestor of Lex Luthor's, in the settlement that would eventually become Metropolis. In the present, Jimmy is up to his usual ratings-grabbing hijinks, with a daring attempt to skydive from orbit without a parachute, using genetic engineering and Metamorpho cells. (Metamorpho makes a cameo, looking like Jimmy absolutely talked him into a trainwreck of an idea.) This naturally involves Jimmy turning into the traditional giant turtle monster, as Lex Luthor has manipulated this one to destroy local landmark "the Monarch of Metropolis." (Traditionally that sort of thing would be repaired by Superman in one panel on the last page of the story, but does anyone fix anything anymore?)

Perry White has had more than enough of Jimmy's nonsense, and is on the verge of firing him yet again, when an I.T. guy points out the punchline: Jimmy's nonsense is the only part of the Daily Planet that makes any money, even after a staggering amount of expenses. With the insurance adding up, the publisher suggests embedding Jimmy "somewhere far far far far away." How about across the bridge in Gotham? That might as well be China. In a horrible, bat-infested apartment, Jimmy wonders how it came to this...as he tacks up the front page of the Planet asking "Who Killed Jimmy Olsen?"

I feel like I usually pick up the fun books that DC puts out and no one buys, like Bat-Mite or the last Bizarro series (that also featured Jimmy) but slept on this one. Read more!

This book really captures DC at the time: some cool moments, honoring some of its history, crapping on other parts...

It reminded me of Countdown to Infinite Crisis, really; although since I'm not as attached to some of these characters I'm probably not going to be as hard on it. From 2008, Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #1, "From a Cub to a Wolf" Written by James Robinson, pencils by Jesus Merino, Leno Carvalho, and Steve Scott, inks by Jesus Merino, Nelson Pereira, and Kevin Stokes.

Jimmy Olsen feels there's something missing in his life, drifting away from his old friends and his hookup girl, wanting more from work than struggling to keep Perry White's coffee warm. Also, at a recent fight between Superman and Atlas, he had caught a couple photos of something: a floating man, who he recognized from the funeral for a woman killed by the mob. Clark Kent encourages him to take some time off to pursue the story, with Perry grudgingly giving him two weeks.

From there, Jimmy pulls on string after string, pretty quickly getting a secret file, witnessing a murder, and getting chased by the psychic-powered Codename: Assassin! If you recognize that one, it's a deep cut: he only appeared once before, in 1st Issue Special #11 back in 1976! That's given a two-page recap, in somewhat loving detail. Despite having flight and some heavy-duty guns, C:A is troubled that he isn't able to read Jimmy's mind, which keeps him one step ahead. The file also has a link most everyone else would not have seen but that Jimmy recognizes, to Cadmus, which he remembers "even at my young age now seems like a fairy tale from long ago." He suspects the worst, then confirms his fears: the original Newsboy Legionnaires had all been killed.

Returning to Cadmus, he finds the vast facility cleaned out, with the exception of Dubbilex, who reveals another piece: the man who would later become Codename: Assassin had been Cadmus's head of security once, but was let go after killing Jim Harper, the original Guardian, in front of his own clone. Every time Jimmy had seen Guardian, that had been a clone, or possibly a clone of a clone: Harper's DNA had been special, suited for cloning. Dubbilex tells Jimmy all this before revealing he was bleeding out, already killed by Codename: Assassin.

Jimmy follows a final clue, to Warpath, Arizona; a border town that used to be the first stop for troublemakers or super-villains headed north, but had recently picked up some law. After a rather daring escape from Codename, Jimmy meets one of the men that cleaned up Warpath: Sheriff Greg Saunders, aka the original Vigilante! Who apparently works doubles, days as the sheriff, nights as the Vigilante, although sadly out of costume. He seems to pick up a hat mid-fight though, while punching up a ton of low-rent no-name super-villains with his pal, the Guardian! Or a Guardian, I guess; who similarly seems to grow a big-ass mustache overnight! This motorhome Jim Harper has a young daughter and a bit of distrust for Jimmy, but he has a story for him, that sends Jimmy racing back to Metropolis, to save Superman!

With the exception of a couple art hiccups, and an recruitment insert for the Navy, I should be more up on this one. But. I don't get how this could be virtually reverent of a one-shot wonder, while killing off multiple Jack Kirby creations, many of them off-panel? I did look up to confirm, this was Dubbilex's last appearance, at least pre-New 52. Also, the cover says "One-shot" and this wasn't, it's continued in Superman: New Krypton Special #1, and another Jimmy Olsen special, then more issues! Good effort in getting me to read that one, but no thanks: I'm pretty sure it ended with everyone involved who wasn't a regular character killed off or written out forever.

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