Good news: I got another big ol' pile of dollar books from the Comic Book Shop the other day; including a few I had really been looking for! Bad news, and this is very much a First World Problem: a lot of them were double-bagged, in these extra-fancy Ultra-Pro Comic Sleeves. It's not quite like cracking open a slabbed book, but it's also not conducive to just picking one up and reading it. I know I picked up three issues of Garth Ennis Legends of the Dark Knight because I wanted to read that story again, but I should really go find the reader copies I already have and not pop these open...On the other hand, I didn't quite remember if I had read this one before--I had, and I remember now why I memory-holed it--and it did not need to be in the fancy holder. Unless it was there to keep readers out, in which case it should've tried harder. From 1994, Green Lantern Annual #3, "Ring of Evil" Written by David de Vries, pencils by Dean Zachary, inks by Andrew Pepoy.

Let's see here: over the years, we've blogged Green Lantern Annual #5, part of Legends of the Dead Earth; Green Lantern Annual #7, part of the 1998 "Ghosts" annual event; Annual #8, part of 1999's JLApe, and even 2013's Green Lantern Annual #2 (part of "Lights Out," which didn't get a tag!) 2018's Green Lanterns Annual #1 and the 2021 Green Lantern Annual #1 with Jessica Cruz. And I need a new copy of GL Annual #6, super sci-fi pulpy goodness with Kyle! I mention all of this, not just to show I've read too much Green Lantern, but because you would be happier reading any of those, this book is full of Nazi stuff. And not in the usual fun comics way of Nazis getting punched the hell out, either; they get a ton of page time and build-up. (Also, every time I see this cover, I think that's a slightly different cover logo, and I wonder why it wasn't used again: because it was used on this one, that's why!)

First up, this was an Elseworlds annual, and I don't think the creators went into this with any ill intent. The whole thing reminds me of the Star Trek episode "Patterns of Force." Instead of rings from space, or however Alan Scott got his ring (It's probably changed in-continuity, but I've seriously forgotten! I want to say he carved it himself from a bigger ring but that can't be right.) the power ring this issue is...created by Heinrich Himmler in WWII? Not even a knock-off like Hindlich Hinder or anything either, straight-up Himmler. In a ritual that seems to involve summoning a demonic entity and sucking the souls of some of his men into the ring, he charges up a ring with an SS/lightning bolts logo; and basically wins the war from there. Fifty or so years later, America is formally Nazified, as we see SS Major Guy Gardner and Flight Lieutenant Hal Jordan getting Iron Crosses from a Reich dame in an SS bathing suit, which might be believable if she wasn't actually the boss: I think in recent years we've kinda seen what fascists think of women. The woman senses a man in the crowd, who looks like he's dressed like a medieval monk, complete with rope belt: oh, yeah, he blends in. 

At a party later, despite the glory, Hal is gloomy, seemingly because his relationship with Carol had ended. Guy has to leave early, since his SS has to take out the local resistance, the Green Arrows! Their leader Ollie is killed, as he was turning over leadership of the group to John Stewart, but most of the Arrows are slaughtered. John does put a literal arrow into Guy, before escaping; wounded, he makes his way to his girlfriend, Carol! Meanwhile, Hal's moping is interrupted by the monk-man, who was being chased by demons, who want his yellow SS ring. The guy had been Himmler's adjutant or assistant or whatever, and took the ring after Himmler was seduced by the Reich dame, Karelia; who's really a demon or something. While Hal's getting the yellow ring, Karelia sucks the souls out of the remaining Green Arrows, to put into a green ring for Guy. First Hal, and then Guy, find John and Carol together, and they're taken prisoner. Hal and Guy fight...and I'm not even sure why at this point? Hal thinks the green ring, is a "ring of evil," and that Karelia has perverted the dream...of Nazis? Yeah, enough of this. Eventually, John puts an arrow in Karelia; Guy stabs Hal with that arrow, Guy and John fight with rings, and eventually John wins and becomes Green Lantern, with a Lantern ring instead of an SS one, but with a bunch of souls in it? Even that feels gross, it's got Jordan and Himmler's goons in it. 

Anyway, I'm not scanning anything for this, because there's too much Nazi imagery, and super-racist talk against John. ("Super-racist" in a PG, Comics-Code approved way that would seem childishly tame on X nowadays, but I still don't want to repeat or scan any of that.) While Hal definitely wouldn't warmly embrace his counterpart, Guy would immediately kill the Nazi-cosplay version of himself; except this story was kind of like back when Guy was a villain: as a bad guy, he could take a licking and keep on ticking. Still, were there traditionally red-headed Nazis? Anyway, this whole post is just a warning: no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us." It's just to remember I've read this before. It's kind of like how I'd like to get a cheap copy of Stallone's Judge Dredd on DVD, so I can duct-tape it shut and not be tempted to watch it again! "Oh, it can't be as bad as I remember--" It is! "The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours."

Also, if you're curious: the first two Green Lantern Annuals are Gerald Jones, we're not going to be reading those; and #9 was part of the Planet DC event, that introduced a bunch of international characters that were mostly never seen again. That first GL Annual has Hal punching Star Sapphire, in a really abusive-looking way; and her costume is not helping there: that was when she was really mean, and that outfit was like linebacker-dominatrix on top, heels and panties on the bottom. Classy!  

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"Vent."

No prizes will be given for guessing what my vent "set" was made out of...But, generally speaking, the Fantastic Four's security system is as good as it needs to be for the story. One of the first, regular (non-reprint) FF books I ever read featured the Trapster getting into the Baxter Building while dressed as Spider-Man: FF #218, although that could have been human error. I also recall around either Englehart's run or Simonson's, Thor and Cap show up at Four Freedoms Plaza, and the security system yells at them until they get off the roof. Is the security good enough to stop the Black Cat? Not consistently, I'd say. I'd even guess that Felicia's "tests" were almost like a fun side-project for Reed, almost like playing chess by mail: he would make improvements, then see if or how she beat them, and then make changes accordingly, with both trying to think three steps ahead of the other. 

Reed probably wouldn't be onboard with letting Felicia use Doom's time machine, but we've seen before, Ben is. I didn't originally intend for him to show up, either; he just kinda did, but it's Ben and he's the coolest. Both Felicia and Ben tease Johnny more than a bit, but that's probably to keep him from getting a swelled head, since pretty consistently in the Marvel U. I think Johnny's had Beatle-like popularity. I'm thinking of that time he burned down Empire State University, which admittedly looks bad, but large portions of his fanbase would doubtless insist he did nothing wrong. Anyway, Ben is also there because while Felicia probably could access the computers for info on the TVA and such, it's more fun to get the dirt from Ben, who has got to be a font of vaguely disparaging knowledge: you name it, he's seen it, and probably been smacked around by it, before. He of course has seen both Death's Head and the TVA before, but one thing he hasn't seen: Sat holding that bottle, so I had to cut a line about "I thought that bottle looked familiar." (She had both hands free in the last strips with her and the FF!)

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An unexpected outbreak of Morbin' time!

I hesitate to mention it, in case it was somehow in error and would be corrected; but I had more than two Battlegrounds matches for Contest of Champions recently where Morbius just wrecked Doctor Doom! I think every so often updates happen for game balance, but Morby might've lucked out on that one. Also, I saw his movie in the five-dollar bin at Wal-Mart, and damn near hadda call my son to make sure I already had it; and we've got a recent dollar book with him, so everything's coming up Morbius! From 2024, the Amazing Spider-Man: Blood Hunt #3, written by Justina Ireland, pencils by Marcelo Ferreira and Chris Campana, inks by Roberto Poggi and Craig Yeung.

The cover makes it look like something bad is going to happen to ol' Morby, but not like that: in the middle of the unending night of the Blood Hunt crossover, a corporation has been turning people into vampires, so it can profit of the cure Morbius was creating. With Colleen Wing vampirized, it's up to Spidey, Misty Knight, and the Lizard to bust into a building full of vampires for the cure. (The corporation, Hemoglobin Inc., seemed like it was going to water down said cure, or dole in out in same fashion that victims would have to keep paying for treatment; which is unfortunately realistic.)

Morbius does have a cure, but is also sick of never having funding, proper equipment, a lab that wasn't in the sewers, etc. He's also mad that while he can cure Hemoglobin Inc's newly-created vamps, he still can't cure himself or other kinds of vampirism. Spidey's like, sucks, but still kinda impressive? And Morbius does move to save the cure when a Lizard/vampire fight endangers it, since he doesn't want anyone to have to be like him. Maxine Danger of the Beyond Corporation swoops in at the end, to ruin the Hemoglobin CEO's day: he used to be her assistant, and had signed non-competes! He's seemingly dragged back to work at Beyond (literally dragged, in a vampire-proof silver net!) while Maxine gives Morbius the use of the lab and facilities. (With the Lizard as like his lab partner? He doesn't really say anything in this one, so I'm not sure what he's up to.) But while a lot of people are cured, including Colleen, this really didn't have anything to do with the bigger endless night thing; it was just a shady businessman trying to take advantage: disaster capitalism again. Although, I hate to admit it, the people that were turned into fake vampires were probably saved from being turned into real vampires; I don't know if any of the latter were cured, and I read Blood Hunt. It was one of those Marvel events that feels not like it ends, but it just...stops? Because there was another event already coming, the big Doom one, that I haven't touched at all. Read more!

The ventriloquist joke wasn't bad!

Cue up the Danny Elfman theme, and get your afternoon snacks! Although I might have the last issue floating around, I had slept on this one, and might need to rectify that: from 2023, Batman: the Adventues Continue Season Three #2, "Crack-Up! Part One" Written by Alan Burnett and Paul Dini, art by Ty Templeton.

I'm not real current on Batman continuity, although we might check a recent-ish issue later for comparison, but this of course was further adventures in the Batman: the Animated Series continuity. Today, the Joker is up to some new tricks, adding a new player to his act: Straightman. The thick blond seems to have about a foot of height and 100 pounds of muscle over his boss, which just adds to the comedy of using him as a dummy in a "ventriloquist act" in front of a literally captive audience. Although he doesn't seem to have any comedic timing, and keeps having nightmares about his military service and medical treatments thereafter, Straightman does bring super-strength and invulnerability: he no-sales several punches from Batman, before giving the Caped Crusader the bum's rush. Only the intervention of an unseen shooter with a tranq dart saves Bats, but even with the sudden arrival of Katana and new muscle...Muscle, the Joker is still able to grab Straightman and get away.

Batman notices a mysterious hooded woman watching him from a distance, and follows up at "the Institute," the local HQ for Amanda Waller and Task Force X! After a brief scuffle, Amanda tells him they were in Gotham to take care of the Joker once and for all; which Batman doesn't quite buy: they might not mind if they did kill him, but that can't be their only goal. But Amanda also lets on, whoever the hooded woman was, she wasn't Task Force X. Bats had Barbara on tech duty now, and she had most of the files for Captain Carl Finley, a former Army officer, "right up until he volunteered for one of those endless secret programs to create the ultimate soldier." Cutting away, we see another of Straightman's nightmares, which involves Dr. Hugo Strange, and possibly Clayface? The Joker was keeping him "medicated" with something, to keep him under control.

Later, tracking down the Joker's hideout, Batman runs into the hooded woman, who was seemingly trying to rescue Carl from the Joker, before Waller could get him. Bats is probably on the verge of figuring this out, but the woman shoots at him, forcing him out of a window! Which, like the rest of this comic, feels very B:TAS, like right before a commercial break. The only complaint I'd have, is that there were several variant covers for the series, and there's one the next issue in the style of the classic title cards: this issue's was close, but not quite there...! Read more!

I've mentioned, I miss the old Marvel Graphic Novel format, but I should go back and add it to the tags, since I don't think I realized Marvel put out 75 of 'em from 1982 to 1993, plus some more under the Epic label. (Which somehow, still included some Silver Surfer and Punisher ones!) I need to go back to my shelves and do a hard count: there are several like Killraven and the Sensational She-Hulk that I've read, or maybe have in other formats. But, here's one I didn't have before: from 1987, Marvel Graphic Novel #31: Wolfpack, written by Larry Hama, pencils by Ron Wilson, inks by Kyle Baker, Walt Simonson, and Whilce Portacio. 

This was the lead-in to their own series, although it may have been downgraded from a regular book to a 12-issue limited. If you enjoyed Hama's G.I. Joe it's worth a look: it's a New York gang with a heart of gold, and ninja training, versus a far-reaching conspiracy called the Nine. It's a little hokey in spots, but still a fun yarn; and I wish this had maybe got a little more traction. 

Man, there were like six Conan's in this format? And a Kull! I think I do have that Killraven, but it was also included in the Essential volume. The Avengers: the Vault GN was reprinted in the prestige format style, but some might be tough to find at all.

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Everyone had that one raft guide...

There's a fair bit of tourist rafting up around Glacier, and despite spending summers there for most of my life, I'm not 100% positive I've ever been? Yeah, I must have; I've been on the river a bit otherwise, but far prefer the lake. Also, I'm not positive I have all of any of these later Marvel Conan mini-series. Hell, I'm not even sure I have more than one issue of any of 'em! From 1998, Conan: River of Blood #1, written by Roland Green, art by Geof Isherwood.

In the jungles of the region known as the "Black Kingdoms," Conan and Valeria are rafting through it, with Valeria in a hurry to get back to the seas and out of the jungle. Not today, though! The rapids are a problem, as are the crocodiles; but the fight with the latter is called off by a scaly wizard, Enduin; who doesn't seem like a bad guy, just creeeeepy. He warns that the two local tribes, including his own, were particularly friendly; but offers the pair his guest place to stay in. What's he up to? If I ever find the next issue, I'll tell you! We covered an issue of Death Covered in Gold like six years back, and I still haven't found the rest of that one, either.

Still, nice art here! Isherwood was kind of the "new" Conan the Barbarian artist around 1987, and he looked even better on this one. Read more!

"Serious."

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I had to phase Black Cat out of the strips because her figure was falling apart: her hair had come loose! I did get a new one of her classic look, but I also think there's a version with flats instead of heels? I might need to see if I can find another of this video game Black Cat figure later, since while she's great, she has wee little feet! She's already dove off the shelf between shots more than once. 

In my stupid continuity, Deadpool has been wearing a symbiote, that he calls 'Venom' but that might not be the original one, but we haven't seen him since late 2023. It might be the longest and most successful relationship Pool's ever had! 

And, back in the old Black Cat strips, we established Felicia does "security consulting" for the Fantastic Four, and knew how to use the time machine, as she did on an errand for the Thing. This figure came with the Wand of Watoomb she's holding, which I think is a mission objective in the game; but we had her with one back in 2019!

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