So I've been getting the longbox-hunt experience at home, going through the oh-so-many boxes of largely random comics in my living room and creating several stacks of books I wanted to read or re-read.
Several stacks. The overall effect is like having 110 tabs open, except in real life...Anyway, we get to the conclusion of a storyline we first mentioned back in
2016, because everything has improved oh-ever-so-much since that one. (Sarcasm...burning throat...) From 1992,
the Demon #29, "Political Asylum, part 4: Out of Control" Written by Dwayne McDuffie, pencils by Val Semeiks, inks by Bob Smith and John Dell.
On the campaign trail, Etrigan isn't President of the United States yet, but he can taste it. So, we start here with five pages of the Demon's ultimate goal: first, lead the Armed Forces to conquer Hell. Then, take the combined earth-Hell armies to conquer Heaven! Probably going to have to use a few nukes there, but omelets and eggs, right? Glenda interrupts Etrigan's daydream: he was over time, and had to turn back to Jason Blood. Meanwhile, Clark Kent discusses the intolerable situation with Lois: Etrigan had snowed the press into believing he and Superman were "close personal friends," and that Supes might even be his running mate. Superman has to have his own press conference, to deny all of that: he's probably also a bit concerned that while Etrigan appeals to the lowest common denominators, few seemed to realize that he absolutely did not have anyone else's wellbeing in mind. ("Evil isn't usually this obvious, guys, but you're still missing it...somehow.")
Etrigan's speechwriter Patty had been having doubts already, as Etrigan turns off Superman's speech as "too late." Meeting with his backers, some different options are discussed, and their scathing dismissal of working with the Democrat party still rings true: "If you asked the Democrats to organize a firing squad, they'd form a circle." Instead, Bush had offered to drop Dan Quayle, and take Etrigan as his new candidate for Vice President. Etrigan agrees...and if something, gasp, should happen to George, well...Jason's friends, Glenda, Harry, and Randu decide, maybe this had gone far enough, and consider forcing Etrigan back to Jason Blood and keeping him that way until after the convention. Etrigan was ready for that, though, and gags the lot of them before they can. (The trio might have broke the rules there, attempting to cheat him before he cheated them; but there was already the sense that Etrigan appreciated that kind of treachery. Also, he would've wanted to rub his win in their noses, so he doesn't really hurt them. Yet.)
The Republican convention turns ugly, though: as Bush and Etrigan supporters turn on each other, McDuffie gets another great bit: "The police, momentarily confused by the lack of minority group conventioneers to blame the situation on, quickly decided to beat on everybody." Backstage, Patty asks Etrigan what his goals really were; which Etrigan thought he had been upfront about: destroy creation, take over as God. Pretty simple, Patty; get onboard or get out of the way. Instead, Patty uses a note, with the spell to change Etrigan back; then makes a speech in Etrigan's stead declining the nomination and giving any delegates back to Bush. (Quayle, looking dim and confused and maybe hurt, is put back on the ticket.)
Jason suggests Patty might want to lie low, since Etrigan would get out again sooner or later. And he does, quickly finding Patty regardless, but seemingly enjoying her backstabbing and laughing it off. Etrigan also has a laugh with Superman: he would be back in '96! (He wouldn't really.)
I don't have the other two issues in this storyline, so I'm not sure what Etrigan's backers--one of whom looks like the Monopoly guy about to go into hospice care--thought they would be getting out of the deal. Less regulation? Patty at least gets the satisfaction of stifling the backers, but the notion of someone, eventually, being moved by their principles to make a stand against a seemingly inevitable force of orange evil, well, that seems like the least realistic thing in the entire comic. Oh, and in the title I was referring to the Etrigan/Phantom Stranger rap in All-Star Section Eight, where the duo tell DC to reprint the Ennis/McCrea Demon run; but this storyline is reprinted in DC Universe by Dwayne McDuffie.
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