Showing posts with label Lone Ranger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lone Ranger. Show all posts
Monday, August 04, 2025
I would love to see an episode where the bad guy was like "The Lone Ranger? AND Tonto?...alright, pack it up. We'll try this two states over."
There's a Lone Ranger movie on TV, and Mr. Morbid asked, so we've got a second before I give this to my dad: from 1976, the Lone Ranger #27, featuring "The Election" and "The Protectors" Written by Paul S. Newman, art by José Delbo.
In the first story, a crooked politician tries to fix Colorado's election, against honest lawyer Len Wylie--nah, the first (and seventh!) governor of Colorado was John Long Routt! Admittedly, that feels like it would've been a pain in the ass to look up in 1976, so we'll move along. The crook had been spying, stealing Wylie's schedule, so he could get there first and rent everything ahead of him. The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Wylie stage a sting operation: some goons get the schedule, but then catch Tonto watching them. The crook falls for a fake meeting, and the Lone Ranger arrives in time after Tonto misses a meeting. Annoyingly, the Ranger doesn't arrest the crook, saying he'd get his punishment on Election Day, which hopefully didn't backfire on him: "...he's in jail, we've got photographic evidence of his crimes, the Lone Ranger AND Tonto testified against him, and he's still 40 points up in the polls?"
"The Protectors" has the pretty traditional protection/extortion racket, which is on the verge of going under after the Ranger and Tonto stop several of his schemes, and the people have turned against him. So, the extortionist makes a big push: some of his men rob a supply wagon, while others hit the bank. The next day, since the bank owner had been a 'customer' of his, the extortionist makes a big show of reimbursing the bank, out of his own pocket, which of course he does with the bank's own cash. Except, the Lone Ranger had covered the bills with green dye, which was all over the bad guys' hands.
Also this issue: the Incredible Hulk, in a Hostess Cup Cakes ad! Which were from years ago, but still feel too modern to appear in a Lone Ranger comic? Anyway, just looked up, and caught a Lone Ranger fist-fight that also involves them punching each other down a hill. Which just makes me think stuntmen were cheap as heck back then...Also, the Lone Ranger and Tonto just did that thing Batman always does, where somebody's still talking and they're long-gone. Rude.
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Friday, May 07, 2021
Much grimmer than the movie, but more accurate to the source material?
Well, maybe. From 2006, the Lone Ranger #3, written by Brett Matthews, art by Sergio Cariello.
John Reid may not have been able to save his parents and brother, but he does have some impressive woodworking skills, as he carves a mold then melts his Texas Rangers badge to make a silver bullet. Before he starts his quest for vengeance, the newly masked Lone Ranger visits the grave of his mother, and in turn is visited by Tonto, who looks more like Conan here. The Ranger pistolwhips Tonto, then apparently sets fire to his house and takes off on Tonto's horse, unwilling to be deterred from his mission.
It has to be disappointing, or at least anti-climactic, when he finds his target dead, an apparent suicide. Tonto somehow got there really quickly, and does return the punch owed to him, but John seems spent, giving Tonto his silver bullet, saying he only had the one murder in him. Still, there was money there, which Tonto suggests could be put towards a horse. Elsewhere, Butch Cavendish makes something like a campaign speech, then receives a telegram from his hired killer, advising that the Lone Ranger remained. On the next page, the killer murders a woman, then has to go back when he hears a baby crying, to finish the job...that's a little dark for this. But there's a little light in the end, when at the horse lot...I'm pretty sure that's not where you buy horses, but whatever...John is introduced to the toughest horse out there, a silver-colored beauty recovering after a fight with a buffalo. Do horses fight buffalo that often? Maybe Silver's just a jerk.
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