Am I still confused on this story? Or did the needle land on 'bad'?

Eight years ago, we blogged the first issue of Bruce Jones and Ariel Olivetti's "Darker Than Death", a Legends of the Dark Knight storyline that left me puzzled. Partly because sometimes, if a comic has a mystery, it may be hard to see if it was executed well until the end. (I've told you Identity Crisis hurt me and left me unable to trust!) I am puzzled why this one needed to be five issues, though: LotDK was pretty bad about that for some time, with more than a few serials that might've been stronger if they had been a issue or two shorter. And now I'm wondering if I should blog this one without having the other four issues handy--or if I've even read the third or fourth chapters--but dude, it's been eight years.

The final chapter begins with Batman examining a woman's body on a dock; something that sounds fun if you're not a detective...hey! Bats is kicking himself for his handling of this case: what clues did he miss? He calls Alfred to pick him up, so Bruce Wayne will have an excuse to find the body, but he does hide some evidence from Commissioner Gordon: the empty briefcase, missing the money he had given Lilith Rutledge to cover the ransom for her kidnapped younger sister, Janie. Bruce had slept with Lilith, so he's more personally involved than usual; but Alfred's done some detective work. (Or had it done.) Lilith wasn't Janie's sister, she was her mother. When Lilith's ex-husband died under suspicious circumstances, he left his money to Janie in a trust; a word that Bruce seems to spit out like it was poison.

The bloated body turns out not to be Janie, but her fiancé's butler's daughter. Well, that clears that up. She had also been pregnant, probably courtesy of said fiancé. Later that night, a coffee-buzzed Bruce is furious at himself for losing both the Rutledge sisters (or 'sisters') but when Alfred scolds him not to spill any on the new DSL, Bruce realizes there were only two DSL companies in Gotham, and could trace the kidnappers' call that way. Really...really seems like he should've caught that earlier; but he traces the call to the fiancé's cabin. Which also seems like a likely place to have checked, too. Before Bruce can take off, Commissioner Gordon pays a visit; having pieced enough of the clues together to know Bruce was involved and had tried to pay the ransom. The fiancé had been brought in; but Bruce asks Gordon to give him until morning to produce the kidnappers and clear the fiancé. Gordon figures that's a job for Batman, but it's up to you if he means get to it, or get him on the phone.

At the cabin, Batman makes short work out of the kidnappers, one of whom is feeling just as burned as Batman was: he had worked with Lilith in offing her husband, but had been left holding the bag this time. The goons had been holding Janie, and the whole thing was Lilith's plot: she convinced Janie it was so she wouldn't have to go through with her wedding, to a broke playboy, but was more interested in either latching onto a playboy with money, or getting him to cover a ransom. The confused and frightened Janie doesn't seem to know Lilith wasn't her sister, but did have her cell number. As she enjoys a drive with the top down in Malibu, she gets a call from Bruce, but Lilith already knew he was Batman. She plays at feeling bad for falling for him, claiming that wasn't part of her plan. Bats gives her two pieces of advice: be careful driving in Malibu, the sun can be blinding. Also, it's doubtful she would get far on three hundred dollars of ransom: she had taken the money, wrapped in plastic, from Bruce's case to her own, but only the top bills were real. Appearing in the middle of the road like a terrifying avenger of the night--no, appearing in the road like he wants to get run over like a sack of laundry--

Batman scares Lilith, who throws up her hands like she just doesn't care, while not paying attention to changing road conditions. She goes over a cliff and dies. It's open to interpretation if Batman feels bad about this, or if he busts on down to the wreck to scrub any evidence from the scene.

Now again, I do think I'm missing a chapter; but the "mother is really her sister" feels like it's cribbed from Chinatown, even if it isn't. I also think, well, Batman's the greatest detective in the world, right? He probably should've seen right through Lilith's sister act. I don't know if this plays fair, but they may actually add to the re-read value: on first reading, Bruce is concerned for Lilith and feels like their involvement blinded him to some clues. Re-read it, though, and Bruce knew the whole time, hence the fake ransom. That kind of feels like trying to have it both ways, though.

No R.Kelly references this time, but we do get one from one of the greatest single issues ever: 1989's Sam & Max Freelance Police Special #1, story and art by Steve Purcell. And we finally get to finish 2006's Legends of the Dark Knight #211, "Darker Than Death, part 5 of 5" Story by Bruce Jones, art by Ariel Olivetti.
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I'm glad to see Indy doesn't go in for that Marie Kondo business...

John Byrne and Terry Austin house ad for the Further Adventures of Indiana Jones; from 1983's Conan the Barbarian #143.

Oh, what the heck: I've been reading a bunch of Conan lately, let's have a peek at this one. "Life Among the Dead" Written by Bruce Jones, breakdowns by John Buscema, finishes by Ricardo Villamonte. A somewhat convoluted plot involving a sword stolen from a statue, a sculptor trying to run a game on Conan but changing his mind, and doubles wearing latex--er, clay--masks that wouldn't be out of place in Mission: Impossible. Then a dragon!


Man, big John Buscema was great...

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Probably the dumbest reason to start reading Deadpool, but it worked for me.

So, after several years at this apartment, I finally bought some shelves for the garage; and already it's making finding comics so much easier. Instead of box piled atop box atop box...well, some of those boxes are now on shelves, and there's enough room to stand in there. Why, I found my longbox of Deadpool comics! Although I'm short an issue or two, I read his first regular series, not quite from the beginning, but from issue #6. And I picked up that issue, because of the Vamp. (I'm sorry, the who?)

From 1997, Deadpool #6, "Man, Check Out the Head on That Chick!" "Headgames" by Joe Kelly, "Headaches" by "Head" McGuinness, "Headlines" by Norman Lee and Nathan Massengill. This was early on in Kelly's character-making run on the book, and Pool just wrapped a storyline with his persistent crush-object, X-Force's Siryn.

After a bit of b-ball with Blind Al (with Pool in a Scarlet Spider hoodie!) Pool heads down to the Hellhouse to take a gander at any merc work opening up. With his tech-support pal Weasel, they find a job offer two-fer: break a woman out of the asylum, then kill her. Either-or, or both.

Using his image inducer, and with Weasel pretending to be "convinced he's Ricki Lake!," Deadpool strolls into the asylum. After a few laughs with the inmates, Pool is interrupted by a pretty doctor...who calls him by name, even though he's disguised. It's the Vamp, who recognized Pool telepathically and clobbers him one. She says she was hired to make sure he fails at whatever he came to do, free the woman or kill her. (Meanwhile, three caption boxes debate what's going to happen, and they aren't Deadpool's: one has a sunny emblem, another a barb-wire knot, the third what might be a mask...)

By this point you have to be wondering, "Who is the Vamp? And who would care?" Good questions! The term 'vamp' is synonymous with femme fatale, and per Wikipedia, may be attributed to Rudyard Kipling, although it's just a shortening of the word vampire, used not-especially complimentary to describe a woman thought to figuratively suck the life out of a man. (And Kipling was quite probably super-racist, so him being anti-woman doesn't sound too unlikely to me either.) A character named "Vamp" would be expected to be sexy and know it, and know how to use it for what she wanted, and probably in a somewhat selfish way; so in retrospect it's a somewhat problematic name for a super-heroine. Or a super-villain, for that matter.

Created by Roy Thomas, Don Glut, and John Buscema (wait, did Wikipedia just give creator credit to an inker?) the Vamp appeared in one of the earliest comics I remember reading: 1979's Captain America #229, "Traitors All About Me!" Written by Roger McKenzie, breakdowns by Sal Buscema, finishes by Don Perlin. Which of course wasn't in my longbox of Cap books, but from memory! Investigating the crime syndicate called the Corporation, in search of the missing Falcon; Captain America works with the Super-Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (We mentioned them some time back, when we saw the terrible second batch of them.) Marvel Man, who would go on to become Quasar! The Texas Twister! The rollerskating Blue Streak! And the Vamp! Blue Streak and Vamp were both more like the Super-Agents of the Corporation, both traitors. When Blue Streak was exposed, Vamp nearly beats him to death to shut him up.

The pissed-off Twister would quit in a huff, but Marvel Man and Vamp go with Cap to check out a lead on the Corporation's secret base, in Alcatraz. And we have that issue handy! Captain America #230, "Assault on Alcatraz!" Plot by Roger McKenzie, script by Roger Stern, breakdowns by Sal Buscema, finishes by Don Perlin. While Cap and company are on a boat in San Francisco bay, Bruce Banner and his friend Fred Sloan are captured by the Corporation, while one of its main agents has just faked his death: former senator Eugene K. Stivak, now merely "Kligger--the humble servant of Corporation-East." I don't know either, but his assistant and prisoner are both more notable: Moonstone, and long-time Hulk companion Jim Wilson!

At Alcatraz, after finding a suspicious armored door, a rather gung-ho Marvel Man blasts it open, and Cap yells at him for blowing the element of surprise. They find the Falcon, unconscious and chained to the sea-gates, where he would be drowned "at the flip of a switch," by Curtis Jackson, manager of the Corporation's west-coast enterprises. With Cap over a barrel, and Bruce Banner strapped to an "electro-sleep harness" Jackson makes his demands: "a former, ah, employee of ours," Jim Wilson. Then Kligger shows up, with Wilson, offering to trade him for Cap's death. Oh, and the Vamp was Kligger's spy, and lover, and that's not even her biggest secret.

Furious that half his team were traitors, Marvel Man strikes out, freeing Banner, who turns into the Hulk almost immediately. Even though there's a bunch of masked Corporation goons about, the confused Hulk knocks out Marvel Man, since he recognizes him as "not a Defender" from their try-out debacle. Even though Jim tries to convince him, the Hulk isn't that trustful of Cap either, and on the last two pages of this issue things really start happening: Jackson "plays his ace" and opens the sea-gates, with the waters coming up to Falcon's head pretty quickly. The Hulk grabs the distracted Cap in a bear hug and knocks him out. Kligger than gives Vamp her full power, and she turns into the monstrous Animus, and she--him? It? They? With Moonstone, they knock the Hulk out! And I'm not sure I had this issue in 1979, but I know I didn't get the conclusion for years! Not that any of it, or any Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe entries, made clear what the fudd was the deal with Vamp turning into Animus...

Many years later, the Vamp would fall victim to the super-villain murdering Scourge of the Underworld in Captain America #319. (Interestingly enough, Blue Streak would buy the farm just an issue prior!) But she was back in this Deadpool comic, so I was curious! And Pool reeled me in pretty quickly. Back to his story: Pool hits Vamp with a grenade, albeit one that wouldn't kill her, since he wanted some info, and she was kinda hot. Until she turns into the creepy, creepy, big-headed Animus! Animus zaps the confused Pool through a wall, where he meets his target: the inmate, Mary. She offers him the money in a Swiss account, but not to break her out, to kill her...before her other personalities take over.

Even more confused, Pool refuses to kill Mary, or let her kill herself, instead trying to save her from Animus. Mary still "dies," though, as her other two personalities silence her caption box. The barbed-wire voice seems to have taken her over, and she encourages Animus to "paint the walls red!" with Deadpool's blood. Luckily, Weasel arrives with their ride, smashing through a wall and Animus. The barbed-wire caption goes silent, as the masked voice now flirts with Deadpool...since she was none other than former Daredevil villain Typhoid Mary! That's one way to get over multiple-personality disorder...

The Vamp is basically the poster-girl for forgotten-and-rightfully-so super-villains; and while some may still recall Typhoid Mary, the odds of her getting on Netflix are pretty long. Although, from that panel above, I'm mildly surprised Marvel hasn't brought her back as a Harley Quinn type...Still, I probably bought my first issue of Deadpool more on the strength of the guest villains than anything. Although I did like that Scarlet Spider hoodie...that's due for a comeback, but it would probably take Pool to make that happen.
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I remember as a kid, reading a Star Trek reference book--probably a later edition of the Star Trek Concordance--with a footnote, to the effect of the writers had decided that the main crew, for their purposes, were all only children. I'm not sure if that was by editorial fiat or democratic decision; but they didn't want anyone pulling out that hackneyed old soap-opera plot of Spock's sister or Kirk's brother showing up--or worse, having to cast a guest-star as such. And they broke that rule in Star Trek V with Spock's half-brother, and look how that turned out.

You could um, actually that quite a bit: given the nigh-irresistible seven-year mating cycle of the Vulcan's pon farr, it would be weird if Spock didn't have any siblings. And Kirk's brother Sam appears in the episode Operation--Annihilate! but is killed before we see him. And Scott had a nephew in Wrath of Khan, his sister's son...anyone who makes any of these points is technically correct but a huge nerd and you have my permission to punch them in the arm as hard as you can. The larger point remains, generally it's better to avoid bringing in previously unseen and unmentioned siblings to generate a story.

Anyway, today we meet Conan's sister...oh, goddamnit...

From 1985, Savage Sword of Conan #119, "Homecoming" Written by Don Kraar, art by Ernie Chan. These stories were usually continuity-light, so Conan could be a pirate on the Vilayet sea one issue, and in his homeland of Cimmeria the next--for those of you who don't know your Hyborian Age, those locations are not close together. But this one introduces Conan's sister, Siobhan; and a different fate for Conan's parents than was used before--or since--killed by a rival clan, the Diarmiads. After saving Siobhan from a wild boar, Conan learns his parents' fate, and vows vengeance. Siobhan urges caution, and the Diarmiads can't just kill Conan outright, since it was the Feast of Crom, and forbidden for Cimmerian to kill Cimmerian on that day. (That doesn't really hold water: Conan and his people were uncomplicated barbarians, far too practical to hold to such a rule; and their god Crom was often described as utterly uncaring as to what happened to them.)

Conan introduces himself as "Amra," an old alias; but he knows he's not fooling anyone. During the feast, the Diarmiads toy with him by threatening Siobhan, and Conan is challenged to throw axes at her head. Which he does. Blindfolded. Maglocun, the chieftain, invites Conan to a hunt in his honor the next day, calling him out.

Siobhan tells Conan that Maglocun is charmed, and only their father's sword could kill him, but the Diarmiads had it beat into a plowshare. At the hunt, Conan is given a lame old nag and a nub of a sword, but Conan still remembers the lay of the land from his childhood, and turns the tables on the hunters. A dog manages to knock Conan off a cliff, but the Diarmiads aren't about to assume he's dead. Injured, Conan makes his way to his father's forge, and the next day two of his enslaved cousins deliver the plowshare, for Conan to reforge back into a sword. That night, the slaves turn on their captors, as Conan faces down Maglocun and his immediate family. They try to make it seem like Conan is outnumbered six to one, but c'mon, it's Conan: he probably could've killed every last one of them himself. I've joked before that Conan had killed more people than cancer at that point, but I don't think people got cancer back then. They died of Conan first.

Conan halves the simpering Maglocun with his father's sword: it's not clear if Maglocun was actually enchanted, or if Conan even believes it. He and the other Cimmerians are sometimes portrayed as superstitious. But he's practical, and even if the symbolism didn't appeal to him, Conan may simply figure it's just as easy to kill him that way. Siobhan dies shortly after the battle, having been whipped pretty soundly then getting stabbed while killing the Diarmiad's witch, Morag. Neither she nor the sword of Conan's dad are ever mentioned again, possibly because Conan isn't the sentimental type, or because this may or may not fit with your personal continuity for his stories. For me?...maybe.

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Of course, immediately after ending my Marvel Unlimited sub, there's still a ton of books I'd love to read. Mostly because as I randomly pick up books, it's often difficult to get the next issue right away. In some cases, it would be easy enough to get some of them, but the cost could be prohibitive, or I might need to get an Essential reprint.

To begin, I haven't read much of the Crossroads storyline that ran from about the Incredible Hulk #300 to #313, with an Alpha Flight crossover for good measure. After Nightmare re-awakens the "Monster Hulk" persona, the Bruce Banner side is believed dead, and Dr. Strange casts the rampaging Hulk into the other-dimensional Crossroads, a nexus to different worlds. Strange's spells intended that the Hulk find a home somewhere, a place where he could be happy and safe and not hurt anyone; and there was an escape clause: should the Hulk be unhappy somewhere, he would be brought back to the Crossroads to try again. Almost mindless, the Hulk's mind created Goblin, Guardian, and Glow; manifestations of id, ego, super-ego that guided him. Until this issue, The Incredible Hulk #310, "Banner Redux" Story by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Bret Blevins, inks by Al Williamson. After attempting to stop a cult from sacrificing a girl, the Hulk is brought down and reverts to Bruce Banner for the first time in over a year! Just in time for him to wake up on the sacrificial altar, about to be gutted by the girl he tried to save! (Hey, that seems familiar...)

(Shoot, #311 had Mike Mignola art! As does #312, with a Sienkiewicz cover and Nightcrawler cameo! Putting those on the list...)

This next issue is from a stretch where I seem to have read maybe every third issue, maybe enough to get the gist if not every little detail: from 1976, Fantastic Four #169, "Five Characters in Search of a Madman!" I kind of hate that title. Written and edited by Roy Thomas, art by Rich Buckler, inks by Joe Sinnott. Ben Grimm is human again, and as usual completely mopey about it. Crabbily drinking in a dive bar, Ben gets into a barroom brawl that starts badly when Ben thinks he has to restrain his super-strength, but then gets his groove back. Power Man has taken Ben's place on the team, but then turns on them, controlled by an outside force. Finally, Ben discovers Reed always intended Power Man just be a temp, and his mysterious plan for Ben's replacement...

I'm pretty sure someone quitting the FF was already a trope by this point, but I think the powerless Ben plotline would only go about another half a year. Ben always wants the opposite of what he has.
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I know I had these two issues for a reason, but...

The blog's name is Random Happenstance, but it just as well could've been Faulty Headmeat Misfiring, since I'm not positive why I was thinking of these two issues for the same post. I think, on my walk home the other day (sometime in the last three months, since who knows when this'll be posted...) and was thinking about an issue I don't have handy: Justice League International #21, a fun Giffen/DeMatteis/Templeton romp with the team on Apokolips, and the return of Mister Miracle.

I think Mister Miracle is a character I like the idea of, more than any actual issues I've read of his. And I have the Kirby trade, and I've read a bit of his solo books, and some of the Morrison/Seven Soldiers version, and I loved his guest-spot in the last issue of Orion. (That last one will end up in "The End" Week one of these years.) And I think I still have the Steve Rude Mister Miracle Special from 1987 somewhere, too. It's not bad, but Rude's art there isn't as...lush as it was in Nexus. Or as animated as it was from this other book Rude did in 1987: from Comico, Space Ghost #1!

With Mark Evanier co-writing, Willie Blyberg on inks, and painted colors by Ken Steacy (!) Rude drops a love-letter to Hanna-Barbera's cartoon hero that reads like the extra-length episode you always wanted. A mysterious figure frees some of Space Ghost's greatest foes from intergalactic prison, including Zorak, Brak, and the Lurker; and the masked hero is going to have to run the gauntlet. Straight-forward, but super-fun.

Unfortunately, it's also square-bound, so it was a bear to cram in the scanner. Oddly, though, I think I have a spare copy of this bagged up somewhere from my college days; and that just makes me wonder what the distribution and sales were like for it...!

But, since I had been thinking of Mister Miracle, I also thought of this issue, also written by Mark Evanier, as luck would have it: Superman Adventures #42, "Living (Scott) Free" (Art by Neil Voker, inks by Terry Austin.) After a quick retelling of Scott's escape from the orphanage of Granny Goodness and Apokolips itself, we catch up with Mister Miracle trying to drum up publicity with daring escapes...that keep getting interrupted by Superman saving him.

Superman can't figure out why someone would willingly risk their life for nothing, but as Scott describes it as a celebration of freedom. Of course, Granny Goodness gets in on the action, planting a bomb on Scott's rocket-sled trick that will explode if he gets off, or crashes, or if Superman picks it up. Undaunted, Scott opens a boom tube to Apokalips, to "take a faulty product back to the manufacturer!"


This ish also features Big Barda, and some Parademons who use the "Pachydermatological Ray" to cause a ruckus at the circus, and is a lot of fun. Still, that doesn't really explain how my poor brain connected these two comics together, yet here we are.




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It happens about once a month or so: I go into the comic shop and spend more on quarter books than new comics. That's partially just due to when the books fall, and the only new comic I had today was Captain America, which is consistently good.

I did find the last issue (#8) of the Minx, Peter Milligan and Sean Phillips short-lived Vertigo title. It's unrelated to the later girl-centric graphic novel line, but this series was the first thing I thought of when it was announced. I had the whole series, but lost it in that flood last year, and am still kicking myself for not buying the whole series the last time I saw it in the quarter bin. I don't want to get into a big description of a series I don't have all of right here, but if it helps, I liked it more than I liked the Filth, and I liked that one a good amount too. Both had everyman (or everywoman) leads who are thrown into bizarre, subversive, and horrible hidden societies; and both are better equipped for survival than they think at first. Both series are willfully unclear and abstract, but while humanity comes off pretty bad in the Minx, there's more likable characters there. Sigh. I really need to keep an eye out for the rest of the series, even if the ending probably isn't where Milligan and Phillips planned on stopping.

I've also been getting an issue of DC's late-eighties horror anthology Wasteland every week or so. A friend was big on them as a kid, so I remember reading them back then. (Interestingly, Hellblazer started about the same time, and I vaguely remember borrowing those as well.) Despite having a pretty good pedigree with John Ostrander, William Messner-Loebs and Del Close; they're not great comics. Imagine old EC horror comics. Then dilute them down until you get DC's horror books like House of Mystery or Ghosts. Don't water it down to the level of Charlton. Fortify with swears, stir well, and serve. Bingo, Wasteland. Despite having a "Mature Readers" label, I think it only had the occasional bad word.

That said, I remembered this story, because I thought it was funny then: A Shirley Maclaine look-a-like channels her past life: Ghengis Khan. Which has the unfortunate side effect, of the Khan channelling Shirley:

Sadly, that musical number goes over better than the Khan in the present day...

Art by George Freeman. Read more!

Every time I'm short on spending cash, I think of this page:

This is probably also why I'm not much of a gambler: Even if I have money set aside to lose, if I win ten or twenty bucks, that's ten or twenty bucks for comics. And if I lose ten or twenty bucks, then I just blew ten or twenty bucks worth of comics. Plus, there's no cool holographic games or gladiatorial matches...yet.

Of course, unlike Han Solo, I'm far too polite to throw my change at a hapless droid. Plus, there's every probability that I'm gonna need it later. Pocket change came in handy the other day, when I finally managed to find a copy of the new Justice League Unlimited, starring the Question.

My local comic shop sold out, so I had to buy it at a chain store that puts price tags on the covers. Of course, I did have to peel it off in the store, since they didn't know their JLU from their JSA, and it was the wrong price; but easier just to peel it off rather than explain it. It was the last copy there, too; and they had a few left of last month's. Why the big rush for this issue?

Well, since he appeared on the cartoon and just because he's intrinsically cooler, the Question's issue had to have sold better than the previous month with Steel, Natasha Irons, and the Millennium Giants. But, I wonder if this one is selling more because a lot of fans may be wondering, how many more original Vic Sage Question stories are there left?

Replacing Vic as the Question probably seemed like a good idea, on paper: his last regular series was years ago, and I don't think his most recent limited had set sales records on fire. (I've bought it out of the quarter box, twice: once for my Oldest, then eventually for myself.) Like Captain Atom or even Blue Beetle, the Question was best remembered, if at all, as the inspiration for a character in Watchmen. In fact, often the Question was written as Rorschach after that.

But Jeffrey Combs nailed the voice of the Question in Justice League Unlimited, and brought the character into a limelight he might never see again. Just in time for Vic to be killed, by cancer, in 52. I'm still not convinced Renee Montoya needed to be given a costumed identity, but I'm really wishing she was the new Peacemaker.

No, I take it back: that helmet would look terrible on her...

From Star Wars #19, "The Ultimate Gamble!" Written and edited by Archie Goodwin, art by Carmine Infantino and Bob Wiacek. Hell, my copy is coverless, so check it out from the GCD.

Question panels from Justice League Unlimited #36, "Wild Geese" Written by Simon Spurrier, pencils by Min S. Ku, inks by Jeff Albrecht. This book may be phased out soon, with DC starts their new younger-reader initiative, so enjoy it now.

In other news, I got new end tables, which means I can use the old ones in my basement, to keep my books off the floor. Or, block up the room so I can't even get it. Guess which it is right now? Read more!