Friday, May 26, 2006

Confession time here: I really, really don't want to see United93. Just seems depressing. (Yeah, and I'm sure it's not upsetting for the family members, air traffic controllers, assorted New Yorkers...) But I've never seen Schlindler's List, never seen Amistad, never seen Grave of the Fireflies. I don't necessarily avoid serious, "message" movies, I don't think; I just don't seem to want to pay for them.

Maybe I don't like to imagine being in a situation where the best you could hope for is getting sliced with box cutter, or shot in the gut,then crashed into a building, blown up or shot down. That would be bad enough, but to imagine that with my wife or sons on the plane?


Have you ever jumped off a cliff before? (Please don't.) Once I went to a local lake with some friends for an afternoon of drinking and cliffjumping (Seriously, don't.) and I remember the feeling in my gut. One friend, Clark, had been there sometime before, and assured us it was quite deep. And I jumped first, before I could take the time to talk myself out of it. (Also, Clark had some lifeguard training, and was probably the best equipped to pull me out if I broke my leg or my goddamned neck. I mean it, no jumping.) The others were talking about the jump, and were concerned for a moment that I may have fell. And the water was superdeep, and it was a great afternoon.

But that sinking feeling...I would not care to have the time to contemplate my imminent death. Rather charge it out, before I had time to think about it, get it over with. But then, I can't imagine how horrible it would be if my family was there to see me stabbed or shot, while waiting to die themselves.

(After the movie.)Bobbie, my wife, said, "That was depressing," as we left the theater. I laughed and asked if she had thought it wasn't going to be. But I was really, really angry after the movie. Oh, the movie's great. It's very well done, and very moving. To keep you "in the moment," there's no big name actors in the movie; except amongst the passengers I recognized the guy from Sledge Hammer! and the old lady from Wings. That was weird.

But I still have something like that sinking feeling. Like getting ready to get cut. All I can think is, "Wrap your arm in a blanket or jacket, to try and block the knife. Go for the eyes." Which is so easy to think. Try doing it.

And it's coming up on five years later, and what's been accomplished? Have we brought anyone to justice, really? Or avenged anyone lost? Or won over any hearts and minds, hmm? Mission accomplished? My big idea to deal with Iraq and Afghanistan was, instead of dropping food or blankets or medicine for the people; airdrop in pornography and drugs. That's a rant answer, but why not give these potential future terrorists fried chicken and fatty foods too. Get them as hooked and fat and lazy as the average American, 'cause they aren't starting anything.

I'm ranting, I'm still angry. I promise fun stuff soon here, after I figure out photo posting and whatnot. Be good.

No comments: