Somebody or other brought this up on Blue Sky the other day (and if you need an invite, lemme know!) and if I didn't randomly find it in my garage foraging the other day! From 2004, the Authority vs. Lobo #1, "Jingle Hell!" Plot by Keith Giffen, script by Alan Grant, art by Simon Bisley.

Al Kennedy recounts Alan Grant's research for this one: calling Warren Ellis to ask who the #### the Authority was. Although, I'm pretty sure their star was on the rise by that point, while Lobo's maybe wasn't. That said, I distinctly recall a Stan Lee interview where he said Lobo was the main DC title he liked, so...there's that, I guess. This was the post-millennial Authority, with the newly-reincarnated Jenny Quantum, who was currently three years old, and the rest of the team was spectacularly not well suited to the task of parenting the semi-precocious little waif. Wandering off to an unexplored area of their massive extra-dimensional Carrier, she stumbles across a copy of the Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special from a few years prior, where the Main Man snuffs Kris Kringle. Distraght, Jenny wants her team to find Lobo, and make him pay.

Said Main Man, was currently pissing away a bounty by gambling away his internal organs, and after losing is approached by some tapeworm-looking aliens for a job: they want the Authority dead, for killing their god/host. In return, they offer Lobo the massive biomass of said host, a colossal chunk of meat and whatnot. Sold American! Meanwhile, the adult members of the Authority were discussing whether or not they should hunt down Lobo, or tell Jenny Santa wasn't real. Hunting down Lobo seems easier? Midnighter is grudgingly forced to bite the proverbial bullet, and take Jenny to the North Pole...which is, surprisingly, full of reindeer corpses, dead elves, and the remnants of Santa's workshop! The rest of the Authority is doubtful, until Jack Hawksmoor takes a Door to Times Square; and they remember in the comic, "bombs dropped down every chimney." NYC is a post-apocalyptic nightmare, a city of the dead and dying.

The team quickly realizes, maybe this wasn't all Lobo's doing, but Jenny's: she altered reality without realizing it. While the Authority questions survivors of the massacre, the Sugarplum Fairy and Frosty; Lobo tracks down the Ship in the Bleed, and fight time! Eventually, Jenny throws Lobo through a Door to the wreckage of Santa's workshop, and confronts him with his comic; which Lobo is surprisingly thrilled to see: it was a collector's item! But also fiction, part of a licensing deal he did years back. Lobo confronts Jenny with the knowledge that by making it real, she killed Santa! She explodes with power, resetting everything, and knocking out Lobo. But what to do with him: they weren't even sure Lobo was killable. They have to settle for taking pictures of Lobo, beat by a three-year-old, which would kill his rep if they got out. Also, the alien meat-corpse's orbit decayed and burned up, so there wasn't any payout coming for him to keep fighting. Still, Lobo doesn't seem to mind; as Jenny seemed to impress him...and he makes a deeply creepy comment as he leaves. 

The Authority has a right merry Christmas, maybe not noticing that Jenny had lost some of her innocence. I don't think I loved this one at the time, but I'm not a big Lobo fan anyway, and can't remember the last time I read an Authority story. I think I stuck with them through maybe Ed Brubaker's run, then was done with them.

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"Global Storm Secret Next Authority Wave Avengers-politan."

Today, instead of buying a new number one or some nonsense, why not pick up an issue #17? Yeah, that's going to be a tough sell; but as long as you're in the shop, how about the new issue of Secret Avengers from Warren Ellis and Kev Walker! I'm looking forward to it, although I'm a little disappointed after their banter in the prior issue, Moon Knight and Beast don't appear to be in this one.

I will confess, though, I hate that Beast figure there. He was, well, a Beast to stand, and he's more than a bit undersized to boot. And the Beast is giving Moon Knight the over-harsh hassle about what may or may not be MK's status quo in his new Bendis/Maleev series, where he may or may not be hallucinating conversations and advice with the Avengers, who he may or may not be a teammate of. I know I picked up a copy of the first issue out of the quarter bin, but I might have to read it again.

While Moon Knight may or may not have multiple personality disorder and other psychological problems, his insanity is more rarely played for laughs; especially compared to Deadpool or other lunatics. On the other hand, the severity of his condition varies by writer just as much as Pool; from mostly functional to eccentric to raving and drooling. I do prefer MK closer to the functional end, with maybe a few tics that are noticeable but possibly not insane. After all, the Avengers thought Thor was a little crazy for some time since they didn't really believe he was from Asgard...

If nothing else, Ellis has probably, completely unintentionally, sold me on that upcoming Marvel Legends Commander Rogers figure. Today's issue also has War Machine and Valkyrie, and I'm curious to see if their sarcasm levels are amped up as well.

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"The End" Week: Stormwatch #50!

This time, a 'last issue' that has the ad for the new number one right at the end of the story. "Volume Two," sure, but straight-up the same book: Stormwatch #50, "Change or Die, part three" Written by Warren Ellis, pencils by Tom Raney, inks by Randy Elliot.

Superman-analog the High, and his team of utopian-minded superhumans, are planning on saving the world by any means necessary. "Saving the world is no good, if we leave it the way we found it," the High explains. The Engineer and the Doctor--predecessors of those that would follow in the Authority--will use their nanotech and their magic, to eliminate any want. The Eidolon, a seemingly deathless goth crybaby, works to destroy any organized religion, proclaiming he's been there and there's nothing after death. And they're not alone.

But, one man's utopia is another's "vandalism on a monstrous scale." Stormwatch's head, Weatherman Henry Bendix will stop at nothing to prevent what he sees as the utter destruction of human society; and sends the whole of the UN's superhuman force "on a killing mission." Although some of the team had fought the High before, not all of them are on board with execution-style killing.

And one, Jenny Sparks, the Spirit of the 20th century, has been trying to talk to Bendix, since she knows the High. Sparks hasn't seen him for years, since her approach to superheroing was "deal with the horror as it comes," and the High wanted more. Bendix knew that, since Rose Tattoo, seemingly mute assassin, told him. Back when Bendix had been a sci-fi superhero, he met Rose when she worked for the High; the ageless Rose is described as "the spirit of murder."

Invading the High's giant underground complex, some of Stormwatch talks to some of the High's team; the more reasonable ones. They planned on giving humanity a gift, with which they could do what they wanted. Others on the team, however, planned on elevating humanity to an interesting level to screw around with; or had no higher motivation than killing criminals.

After Bendix has a captured woman killed, Sparks confronts him. Bendix wants change, but not that kind of change. More control. Less freedom. This being a superhero comic, it turns into a brawl. Bendix powers down Stormwatch's satellite HQ, to keep Sparks from using it's electricity; but that has the unintentional and grotesque effect of killing a number of prisoners in cryogenic freeze. Sparks tries to kill Bendix mid-transport, but isn't positive she succeeded.

The fight with the High's team escalates, with several dead, and Jack Hawksmoor kills Rose Tattoo after she casually murders a hero. But, it comes to a sudden end, when Bendix's airstrike takes out all of the High's remaining teammates; and the nanotechnology that would've given the world everything. Enraged, the High streaks into space, intent on destroying Bendix, not realizing that 1. Bendix was gone. 2. His old friend Jenny Sparks was on the satellite, along with hundreds of U.N. support crew. 3. The Stormwatch satellite had a "storm door," a really good force field. The High vaporizes upon impact, killed instantly. Volume 1 of Stormwatch closes with a crying Sparks putting her cigarette out on her fetish/badge.

Helluva book. Ellis does a great job of presenting ideas that would inevitably turn up when dealing with superhumans. And this is a pretty lean issue, even extra-sized; a lot of the ideas from this three-parter could use more space. The Eidolon, whom I believe was an analogue version of the Crow, could've been expounded upon: he does a little denouncing of religion, cries a bit, and is killed. Ellis also did the analogue/pastiche thing in Planetary; and like Busiek in Astro City, he doesn't always do it, but does it very well. I thought Smoke, a Shadow-esque vigilante, was more interesting than the regular model; and probably would've read a book with him, Blind, Wish, and the others.

Likewise, I don't know if Bendix's descent of crazy works or not: in previous issues, he seemed to still be walking a fine line between pragmatic dick and rabid dog. (I liked a moment from a previous issue, when Bendix pulls a murderer from the aforementioned cryogenic prison for questioning, shoots him in the face, then puts him back in the freeze to finish his sentence.)

Stormwatch hadn't quite gotten into the "widescreen" that would be the trademark of the Authority, but Tom Raney and Randy Elliot nail the art here. They also have three pages of flashbacks done in retro styles that work very well. And I think all of "Change or Die" was presented with a black-and-white story page on the inside front cover; which makes it feel like an extra page, and gives it a sense of urgency, like things are happening quickly.

Hmm. Looks like I thought this was going to be the closer in our festival of cancellation, but it's still rolling! More today and tomorrow!

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In the office today, sorry!

Shoot, I actually have a meeting Thursday--that's not a bad thing, I just don't usually have them, and don't usually have to do any prep for them. So instead of blogging, or opening the new G.I. Joe Pursuit of Cobra Dusty and Recondo figures, or finishing reading the Essential Tales of the Zombie, I'm getting ready for that. Yeah...that's fun.

I also have to figure out some kind of snark over DC Comics closing down it's WildStorm imprint. While it sucks that there are probably going to be some staffers now out of a job, the major books from that label like the Authority, Gen13, and WildC.A.T.s have barely been shells of their former selves, and the sales have reflected that. I've seen some commentary that eventually, the big characters from WildStorm would be folded into the DC Universe proper, because that's worked ever so well for the Fawcett characters, the Red Circle characters, the Milestone characters...look, it only really worked with the Charlton heroes, and that was if not luck, a window of opportunity unlikely to open again. Worse, I swear somewhere hinted that Geoff Johns would handle that project, because Geoff Johns makes everything better...feh.

Enough. I have to get ready, and find some clothes that don't look like I slept in them... Read more!

Career advice from Booster Gold. C'mon, he's from the future! How bad could it be?

Click the pictures to Booster size!

EDIT: The fourth page was on flickr, so you can click it to check other stuff, or read it here.

I saw Blue Beetle on sale the other day, and didn't buy him. Then I got the idea for these pages, and had to run back to pick him up. From that wave of First Appearance figures, I previously paid full price for the Warlord (although, it is a pretty great figure) and this store had the rest marked down: the new Atom, Martian Manhunter (with Skrull chin!) and (really terrible looking) Aquaman.

I hear good things about both the Atom and Blue Beetle, but again, haven't read them yet. The new Atom figure was a little underwhelming, since I don't think it came with a tiny version; the previous Ray Palmer figure had come with two.

Another confession: I've read All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder, but I sure as hell haven't paid for it. I don't know. I'm a big fan of lying, completely straightfaced, when I'm not being serious at all; but I'm not sure if that's what Miller's up to or not. You think he's joking, but you're not quite positive if you should laugh or not...

I was going to say I miss the Authority, but it would be more accurate to say, I miss when the Authority was good. This is going to sound crazy, but I'm going to equate the Authority with the Ultimates...and Watchmen. Hear me out now: each series was imitated heavily by those that came after it, each one raised the bar for superhero stories, and each one of them should've ended and been left alone. Would doing more Watchmen stories have improved that original work at all? Ultimates 3 seems like a pretty good argument for wrapping up that series with the last issue of volume 2, and Authority...ugh. I hated the Ed Brubaker series--it started really strong, but the last pages of the last issue seemed a lot like Brubaker admitting he had to put the toys back in the box in recognizable shape. Which is probably true, but it's like explaining the magic trick after you do it. And the Grant Morrison version...I didn't read, because it seemed kinda obvious it wasn't going to come out in a timely fashion, which turned out to be at all.

As far as Booster goes, I only read his original solo title a couple of times, but I was a huge fan of the Blue and the Gold in Justice League. So while I'm pretty sure his characterization was different between the two, the League version is what I'm used to. The old Beetle was in the same boat. Anyway, Skeets came with a thin clear plastic rod to 'fly' on, but my Youngest broke it. And I'm pretty sure there's a new issue of Booster Gold this week. I may have to pick it up, since I've given him so much grief...
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