80-Page Thursdays: Invasion, Book Three!

In the last issue of Invasion, the Dominion and their allies were defeated; which makes the world suddenly going black-and-white all the more surprising. Invasion, Book Three, plot and breakdowns by Keith Giffen, script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Bart Sears, inks by Joe Rubinstein with Tom Christopher.

Having deduced the nature of humanity's metagene, the lowly Dominator researcher drops the gene bomb on earth, irradiating it with particles that will effect every super-powered being on earth. (Well, except for the aliens. And a few like Starman and Robotman, who are so altered as to be unharmed. And the Atom. And Wonder Woman. And Green Lanterns...) Heroes and villains alike begin losing control of their powers, sometimes explosively, before collapsing into comas. Max Lord develops the nosebleed that signifies his powers as well.

The Omega Men and the Blasters make their way to earth, just in time to run into a contingent of earth's heroes (and Superman, who had been planning to leave earth forever...) trying to get to the Dominion's homeworld to look for a cure. There, the Dominator higher-ups are a little pissed at the researcher, since they planned on harvesting superhumans, and are trying to figure out how to reverse the genebomb as well.

Back on earth, Metamorpho has mysteriously returned from the dead, and Bart Sears would keep drawing him for some time in Justice League Europe. And in space, Robotman and J'onn J'onzz (disguised as a Dominator) get the information they need from the researcher, but then have to go to the space stalag for equipment. With an antidote-bomb prepared, the heroes return to earth...without Superman, who begins his exile.

This is a fun conclusion to a fun mini-series, and it's still one of my favorite DC crossovers.
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80-Page Thursdays: Invasion, Book Two!

Continuing DC's crossover event of 1988, Invasion #2: Battlefield Earth. Plot and breakdowns by Keith Giffen, script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Todd McFarlane and Keith Giffen, inks by P. Craig Russell, Al Gordon, Joe Rubinstein, and Tom Christopher. After the Alien Alliance takes Australia, and demands the surrender of earth's super-heroes (and about 20 crossover tie-ins...) a 24-hour cease fire is declared, to allow the heroes time to give up. Or to plot their counterattack...

Led by General Eiling, Captain Atom, Amanda Waller, and Max Lord; earth's heroes break the cease-fire early, impressing the Khundish commander. He's still intent on killing them all, though, even as doubts as to the Dominators' intentions grow. The commander also convinces the newly-empowered Daxamite observers to "defend themselves" against Superman. And this early post-Crisis Supes wasn't in their league, facing six of them.

As the Alliance is put on the defensive, cracks begin to show. A Dominator, seemingly out of character, insults the Khundish commander, and is rewarded with a punch in the face. The Doms capture the Flash, but decide to experiment on him themselves, rather than turn him over to the Psions. That bites them in the ass, since it's a "hero-bomb" created by Lex Luthor. And the Daxamites, after putting Superman on the ropes, begin to weaken. Supes brings them into space, out of earth's atmosphere, which helps them recover; and the Daxamites wonder if they aren't on the wrong side. (Long time Legion of Super-Heroes readers will recognize the Daxamites' weakness as trace amounts of lead, but it's not spelled out here; just that something in the atmosphere hurts them.)

While the Khunds are forced out of Australia, the lowly Dominator researcher we saw last issue makes a fateful discovery: the metagene, source of humanity's unpredictable super-powers. This is less like Star Wars midi-chlorians (which tried to put an explanation on something that didn't need it) and more like Marvel's mutants (a blanket explanation for whatever) but will come into play later.

Flash (Wally West) and Manhunter (Mark Shaw) have almost driven the Durlans out of Cuba, but Wally's dad sacrifices himself to blow them up. (Somewhat surprisingly for a supporting character family member, I think he comes back.) Earth's relatively few space-capable heroes--Guy, Hal, Firestorm, and J'onn in a spacesuit--join Superman and the Daxamites to take the fight to the aliens; as one of the Daxamites returns to earth to call his homeworld, sacrificing himself.

While the Okaarans are pushed back in the Russian front, the non-powered prisoners of the Starlag riot; part of Vril Dox's escape plan with the Omega Men and the metagene prisoners. And the Daxamite fleet arrives at earth. To defend it. With super-powered troops. As the Alliance ships are besieged, a message is sent from the Dominator flagship: preserve earth for the Doms' metagene project at all costs, even their allies. Enraged, the various Alliance races surrender; except for the Khunds and Dominators; but earth has an ally we haven't seen yet...

It plays a bit against expectations that the Alliance and the bulk of the invasion is over in the second issue of three; but it still has about ten crossover issues to run through.



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80-Page Thursdays: Invasion, Book One!

We're coming up on a full year of 80-Page Thursdays, even though I'm writing this in March. Actually, I'm behind schedule, since it took me a while to find these issues again: from 1989, Invasion! Book One, The Alien Alliance. Plot and breakdowns by Keith Giffen, script by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Todd McFarlane, inks by P. Craig Russell, Al Gordon, Joe Rubinstein, and Todd McFarlane. I love this book, to be honest. It's the rare comic I enjoy, even though there's all sorts of things in it that I don't necessarily care for.

The titular alliance is several alien races, mostly from Legion of Super-Heroes continuity or the Omega Men, led by the Dominators. Although they first appeared in Adventure Comics #361, this was the first time I saw them, and the Doms had been redesigned slightly to make them more inhuman and emphasize their disc caste-markings and their teeth. I always thought they had a very Mars Attacks! feel, although that could just be me. (It really comes through in some of the house ads as well.)

Experimenting on captured humans, the Dominators are concerned about the unpredictability of humans and human genetics. Already, earth had given rise to multiple super-powered beings (and reams of alien and alien-powered defenders, but ignore that...) and the collected aliens worry about potential armies of them. Again, never mind there's really not that many supers on earth, and you can't put three of them in the same room without two trying to beat each other up...

With their allies--the Khunds, Durlans, G'il Dishpan and observers the Daxamites from Legion comics; the Thanagarians of Hawkman (who, as a race, are generally more dickish than Carter) and the Citadel, the Psions, and Okaarans from Omega Men (And possibly Teen Titans, maybe.) the Doms already have the ball rolling. Depowered Green Lanterns are hunted down, to prevent them speaking on earth's behalf. Darkseid is approached, and while he doesn't join, he does tell the Alliance to do what they like to earth, but not to destroy it, since he's still looking for the Anti-Life Equation. Doom Patrol villain Garguax is evicted from his strategic position on the dark side of the moon.

To keep Rann safe, Adam Strange is forced to surrender himself, hoping he'll be able to warn earth when the zeta-beam wears off. Strange is taken to the Starlag, a giant prison satellite build by the Citadel for dissidents, political prisoners, and test subjects. He briefly manages to escape to earth, only to find the Khunds have an advance station at his return point. Strange's former cellmate, Garryn Bek, is then celled up with a seemingly emotionless Coluan, Vril Dox. Meanwhile, the Omega Men are attacked by the Durlans, and captured after several casualties. And a lone low-caste Dominator wonders if maybe the human genetic anomaly couldn't just be neutralized, as the Invasion begins...

As a beachhead, Australia is taken in short order. Somewhat disturbingly for the alliance, the Daxamites develop super-powers in earth's atmosphere; although as observers they don't seem intent on doing anything, unless they get orders from their homeworld. The alliance also isn't sure what to make of the JLA's teleport tubes--technology seemingly far beyond the earthlings. And elsewhere, the Lords of Order tell the Spectre if he or earth's mystic heroes get involved, Chaos may ally with the aliens...

At Belle Reve prison, Amanda Waller is ordered to bench the Suicide Squad, as the President waits to see what the aliens do. She doesn't listen...and the Dominators make their demand: they will spare earth, if the humans surrender their super-heroes. The next day, the headlines at the Daily Planet tell the story: "Earth to Invaders: Drop Dead!"

Despite building on years of continuity of some of DC's less popular books, Invasion! is still pretty accessible. (Aside from the Thanagarians, I knew of the Khunds and Daxamites going in, but the rest were new to me.) This issue is almost all set-up, and although we see a few familiar faces like Adam Strange and Perry White, there isn't a main hero in the story yet. The plotline with the humans experimented on by the Dominators, the Blasters; goes nowhere. I've never read an issue of L.E.G.I.O.N. either; but still plenty to like here.
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(Long past) Time for the Terrible Toyman!

Got the DCUC 18 Toyman for five bucks at Wal-Mart today. Not a bad figure, although mine had a little black paint slop on the collar; and a bit of leftover yellow trim in the right armpit. For the price, can't complain.

Toyman's been out for a while, and OAFE.net has a pretty good review, but It's All True had some great pics for him.

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WildC.A.T.s? How the hell is that typed? S.H.I.E.L.D. is easier to keep typing...

As someone who wasn't a big Image/Wildstorm fan, my first thought when I saw Grifter and Voodoo were getting new DC number ones...was there go a couple of wasted slots. But that's not really fair: the WildC.A.T.s characters may not be to my taste, but that's not to say they couldn't possibly be used in good comics. And, on further thought, while I don't plan on running out and buying them, I have enjoyed just about every comic I've seen with Grifter and Voodoo! Weird...

First up, they, and the Wildstorm Universe, guested in the thirteenth issues of Marvel's Heroes Reborn books. Which reminds me, I need Spartan and Voodoo and heck, even Zealot figures. (I don't know Zealot's backstory, but she should just be slotted in as an Amazon. Her warlike nature would make Wonder Woman's peaceful mission stand out more...)

I'm pretty sure it's somewhat intentional, but Spartan is hysterical to me. He's the robot teammate, like the Vision in the Avengers or Red Tornado in the JLA; except Spartan is treated as completely disposable. That, and it's pretty obvious that Voodoo (and the Scarlet Witch in the crossover!) are using him as a sex toy. Which would be a bit creepy if the genders were flipped, but here it makes me laugh, for some reason.

Anyway, the WildC.A.T.s also crossed over with the X-Men, in a four-part series that I only read the issue that had Nightcrawler in it. (I know Warren Ellis wrote the fourth issue, but I've read enough Days of Futures Past X-crap over the years without actively hunting it down...) And Warblade comes across well here: while he looks like an EXTREME version of Wolverine, Warblade is nowhere near that into it, and seems like he'd be more than happy to go home and watch TV.

Then there's the JLA/WildC.A.T.s crossover, written by Grant Morrison. The heroes fight the Lord of Time, Superman is electric blue and Majestic looks more heroic, Grifter and Batman contrast methods, and Void trips Kyle right out. Another solid issue. And, although I recall most of that series as being about the Youngblood or Cyberforce characters, the WildC.A.T.s are in the Image superhero crossover Shattered Image as well.

What I like about the WildC.A.T.'s, even without reading a lot of their comics, is that the characters are archetypes--there's your Punisher-type, your Wonder Woman character, your Wolverine homage--but they're archetypes you can break. I have several issues from the quarter bins of Wildcats 3.0, and they are pretty far afield from where those characters started. (So far afield that there's been a reboot, even before whatever Grifter's DCU status is...) In theory, you should be able to do things story-wise with Grifter, that you couldn't do with Batman, since you don't have the burden of seventy years of continuity and fan expectations and licensing restrictions and so on. In theory, of course. After all, Grifter and the WildC.A.T.s are nearly twenty years old. We'll see if it pans out...
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"He's big. He's green. He looks like Gumby. Let's leave him alone."

That short, succinct description of everyone's favorite Martian, J'onn J'onzz, is from Justice League America #38, nearing the high-water point of the 'bwah-ha-ha!' days of Giffen and DeMatteis. But whether you're a fan of that, the Grant Morrison "Magnificent 7" JLA, or the cartoon, the Martian Manhunter has been a mainstay of the Justice League for years. Which just makes it weirder that it took Mattel fifteen waves to get J'onn a figure.

There have been some quality control concerns: apparently, there are different biceps used for J'onn, so you could get a buffer or wimpier figure, depending. Mine seems fine. There are also variants, with a different shape-changed slicing hand or head sculpt. (Check out It's All True and their review!) Hmm, I thought you could get the alternate head with normal hands as well, but between that and the biceps, there's going to be a lot of variation there.

Yeah, J'onn had to wait until a wave with Starman and Jemm, Son of Saturn. Still, who would've expected either of those two (or OMAC, for that matter) in a line sold in stores, not comic book shops? Shortly after picking up J'onn, I found over at the Fwoosh (in the DCUC Series 15 discussion thread) a coupon for $5 off toys at KMart, and that twisted my arm enough to get the classic Starman and Jemm. I haven't seen the modern, Jack Knight Starman, or Raven yet; which means I'm still a piece short of completing the Collect-and-Connect figure Validus.

But I did get one more figure, that we'll see in tomorrow's strip!

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"Are you ready for the world that's coming?"

Isn't the whole point of Jack Kirby's OMAC, that the answer to that question is, "No!"

Just got the brand spanking new DC Universe Classics OMAC figure, one I had been planning on getting since I heard about it. And now...I'm not quite sure how I feel about OMAC the figure, since I'm not quite sure how I feel about OMAC the character. We're going to knock out a little look at both, although I'll have to go back and check out his comics later.

I haven't read all of Kirby's OMAC issues...I don't think. I think I have Paul Pope's cover version of OMAC #1 from Solo #3, and I have to look around for the digest reprint of DC Comics Presents #61, "The Once-and-Future War!" But I know I read some of Jim Starlin's early stuff on OMAC, originally intended as a back-up feature in Kamandi, then being added to Cancelled Comic Cavalcade #2 before it finally saw print in Warlord #37. I mention it, because I think there was a retcon to his origin, that shows up here in the Biography.

In the late 21st century, a group of aliens engineered the construction of a powerful satellite called Brother Eye in order to avert a great disaster threatening earth. The satellite targeted an unsuspecting stock boy named Buddy Blank. He became the One Man Army Corps, or OMAC. After years of battling any and all threats, Buddy took refuge in a forgotten underground military installation and raised his grandson in isolation from the horrors roaming the terrain above.

That bio ties a lot of things together, but I hate it. The retcon I mentioned, is that I don't think Brother Eye was built by aliens in Kirby's stories. Maybe it was, or maybe Kirby would've revealed that later...but I don't believe so.

I've also always wondered: did Buddy Blank become OMAC, like Steve Rogers becoming Captain America, or Billy Batson becoming Captain Marvel? Or...I suspect OMAC is a separate entity, overwriting Buddy Blank like taping over a movie? Blank is described as nondescript, almost a non-entity, so it's hard to say if anything of what he was carried over into OMAC. If there was anything there from the start.

And while OMAC may have 'battled any and all threats,' he lost in the end: the 'great disaster' mentioned there, that Brother Eye and OMAC were created to stop, was the Great Disaster of Kamandi, the Last Boy on Earth. (I'm looking forward to Kamandi's upcoming figure as well, but we'll see if I'm as conflicted then!) Blank's grandson, who took a name from the military installation he grew up in: Command-D. So, a good chunk of the biography, is about OMAC's inevitable failure. (Also, since Buddy Blank didn't seem like he had a wife or girlfriend or anything, so he had kids after he became OMAC? That, or Buddy liked hookers, OK?)

For me, even though I didn't read them regularly as a kid, OMAC and Kamandi fell into the same spectrum as Planet of the Apes, the Road Warrior...or the Day After: the end of the world was coming. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it was coming. And there wasn't a damn thing you, or OMAC, or Charlton Heston, or anyone could do to stop it. Kind of a fatalist futurism, then. Maybe that's why I feel so weird about this figure, then. Like, "yay, we're boned!" DC Comics had around that time, just pre-Crisis, at least three possible future apocalypses set between around now and the Legion of Super-Heroes 30th century: Kirby's, and separate ones seen in Hex and Warlord. Which just made things even more depressing: even Superman couldn't stop the Great Disaster...

Ah, the figure itself. The ankles aren't the rocker-type you usually get from DCUC: they just have a basic hinge. (EDIT: Rocker-type ankles? When? Was I thinking Marvel Legends? Sorry! At any rate, there isn't any side-to-side movement on the ankles.) Both OMAC's hands are fists, and seem...slightly small. My figure has a loose left bicep, which may be the first major quality issue I've had with this line.

The orange pants are accurate, but...I'm not sure they were absolutely necessary. Likewise, OMAC isn't quite as thick as he probably could be, but the line only has so many bucks...I don't know if there was another body type that would've worked better, though.

That face doesn't scream Kirby to me. I have a vague feeling that it's maybe, maybe, based on George Perez's version from DC Comics Presents #61, but keep in mind I'm saying that without getting that issue out yet. Could be way off, is all I'm saying...And maybe a yelling face, or a more angry one, would've been stronger than this overly neutral OMAC.

Also, for a change, the button? Looking good! And a Validus arm, that'll be swell if and when I buy the whole lot of other figures. Still, it would've been something to get a Build-a-Friend accessory, wouldn't it? Ah, that would've freaked out the squares...

The packaging has an "Only at K-Mart" sticker, although I do believe this wave is available online as well. (Fortunately, a K-Mart is within spitting distance of my place.) Overall, I'm glad to have OMAC, since he's a new character for the ever-growing lineup, and one that's never had a proper action figure before. (How he was overlooked all this time by DC Direct, I couldn't tell you.) I may have to re-read some Kirby OMAC stories, and focus less on the terribleness of "the world that's coming!" and more on the awesomeness of OMAC punching the hell out of things.

I did pick up one more from DCUC Wave 15, but haven't opened him yet! Soon.

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Feeling the Unlove, or, getting ahead of myself:

Over at Battlegrip.com was a recent post entitled "DC Universe Classics and My Unlove for the Line." While admitting DCUC isn't his favorite action figure scale, distribution was the straw that broke Mr. Reed's figurative back, as it were; although he did have to admit he wanted a DCUC Knightfall Batman.

Now, as is the case for me with a lot of lines, I've been cherry-picking DCUC since the second wave; that is to say, I buy the figures I really want, and pass on the rest, even if I don't get all the pieces to Build-a-Figure, um, Collect and Connect. Through a bit of the ol' happenstance, I did end up completing the Collect and Connect Gorilla Grodd...some three years after it's release. But, over the weekend, I saw wave nine's Green Arrow and Black Canary, and passed: at fifteen bucks a piece, I couldn't justify the buy. Ten or even twelve bucks would've sealed the deal...

But what this got me thinking, oddly enough, was that I may be done with Marvel Universe. I got the Secret Wars Doctor Doom/Absorbing Man pack (with the Wasp as a pack-in, accessory, bonus, whatever) and liked it...but...

For some reason, it drives me up the wall that the heads of many Marvel Universe figures, seem to pop off at the drop of a hat...and I'm not thrilled with that metaphor, but let's go on. I don't have a decapitation problem with other 3 3/4" figures like G.I. Joe or Star Wars; and while I'm making a stink about it, it's not really that big of a deal. In fact, Doom's cape is removable since his head pops off, and for inventive types there could be some interchangeability to the figures. Maybe, I haven't tried it yet.

Target seens to have repriced the Marvel Universe singles to $6.99; which I would appreciate, but I've already picked up most of the characters I really wanted. One store had three Colossus...es...and while he seems like a perfectly fine figure, I just don't like Pete enough to care. Ditto Juggernaut. Havok was close, but not quite, I already got Kitty, and the A.I.M. soldier? You really need more than one, and I don't like them enough to buy three or five at seven bucks plus tax a go.

I very well could be proved wrong, but Doctor Doom may be the last character I have Marvel Legend figures of, but was still willing to get a smaller-scale Marvel Universe version as well. (At full price, anyway: I have picked up multiple MU at three or five bucks.) There could be an exception or two, but I rather doubt Hasbro's going to get around to a Beta Ray Bill MU. Of course, I would be all over more secondary (at best...) characters that never got their Marvel Legends due; like Quasar, Machine Man, Hellcat, Nighthawk...that list could go on. Sets like a Guardians of the Galaxy or Agents of Atlas box would net a sale here as well.

No, I think with the recent promises of the return of Marvel Legends; Marvel Universe feels like a dalliance, a passing fancy, something to bide my time until my true passion returns. Like an affair that at the end of the day, meant nothing, except perhaps reaffirming my original bonds. Wow, that sounds weird. And as I write this, I ended up with a pile of 3 3/4" figures this week. The best laid plans...
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Biting my tongue on any, "The Question is, how do I find him?" cracks.

A Steve Ditko page from the Question back-up in Modern Comics Blue Beetle #1. With a little luck, by the time I post this, I've got my DCUC Question figure from Big Bad Toy Store.

Although, if I'd held out a day or two, I would've ordered the Secret Wars Nightcrawler/Punk Storm two-pack, or at least tried to, since it appears to be out of stock already. (It may be back, so check it if you're interested!) Then again...and how to put this? It's not from Mattel, so I figure I have a chance of seeing it in stores. Maybe I'll run across the Question on the racks in the next week or so, and then I'll feel dumb...but I doubt it.

(Incidentally, I would bet that I'll buy more than one of those Nightcrawlers, so it's extremely likely I'll have a spare Storm to trade. We'll see...)

Some toy related discussion after the break!

Also, by the time I post this, the post-game analysis of the other Tuesday, a.k.a. Trap Jaw Day, should be in the books. There will be doubtless tons more discussion on other sites, but my understanding is that the new Masters of the Universe Battle Cat, and Trap Jaw, both sold out in something like twenty minutes. Mattel is doing a lot of things right, but distribution does not seem to be one of them.

For example: locally, one Target is clogged with the remnants of DCUC Wave 7: Big Barda, Captain Cold, blue Aquaman, possibly the whole wave with the possible exceptions of Blue Beetle and Booster Gold. And two, maybe three Silver Banshees from the Target Exclusive Public Enemies wave. Finishing Brimstone around here looks like a tough one, since I've yet to see the second part of that batch.

(Thanks to It'sAllTrue's DCUC Guide, since I sure as hell don't remember what figure was in what wave.)

There are three Wal-Marts in my neck of the woods: the one nearest me, has no DCUC, and hasn't for some time. Of course. The next nearest did get at least one shipment of Wave 11, but the Question, Cyborg Superman, and Deadman were all long gone by the time I saw it, and they have not been restocked to date, after about a month. That Wal-Mart also has a full peg of four Cyborgs--the Sonic Arm version that was originally a KB exclusive back in 2008. To its credit, there may only be one Captain Cold on the pegs there.

The third, and most inconvenient for me to get to, was the only one to get the Imperiex exclusive wave, and is full of Foragers, a few Beast Boys, and a surprising amount of Power Girl. I'm still surprised by that one: I was quite happy to get her, and thought she would fly off the racks. I'm hoping to see some clearance there sometime, since that one's pretty full.

The Comic Book Shop did get DCUC for some time, but I think they ended up overstocked on Captain Cold and some of the rest of Wave 7. In the clearance of their mall store, you could, right now, get four Captain Colds for under ten bucks. Maybe more, if you ask nicely...they may or may not get future waves at this point, but seem to be moving the DC Direct Green Lantern stuff just fine anyway.

And Toys R Us and Fred Meyer both have had Waves 8 and 9, but don't seem to be restocking them: Fred Meyer, however, still has figures for under ten bucks. Need to get Commander Steel--like Guardian, knowing his history in the comics makes me laugh--and maybe Mr. Terrific. And there's probably a Captain Cold on every other peg at those stores, too.

Man, I'm worried Captain Cold is going to be like Banshee from the first wave of Hasbro Marvel Legends: an ugly, ugly figure that's everywhere, clogging the pegs and preventing any restock. In a recent sidebar on Blackest Night in Toyfare, writer Geoff Johns said he was looking forward to seeing a new Captain Cold figure. Please throw one at him if you see him at a show. I know where you can get some. Cheap. OK, don't really throw them, but Captain Cold's also had two DC Direct figures, so he should be good for a long while, right?

Ah, I'm beat and watching Lost, so this has gone on long enough. A Question strip will be forthcoming soon...

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Greatest dream DCUC lineup, or nightmare? You tell me!

While DC Universe Classics isn't a perfect line, it's a pretty damn good one. Yet, while any errors seem to fall on Mattel's shoulders (like distribution, figures posed in positions that cause them to get warped and bent, the occasional misassembled or mis-scaled figure) everyone seems to agree the sculpting from the Four Horsemen is above reproach. And while I don't share their love of the classic Super Powers lineup, there have been more than a couple figures that I thought were oddball choices, yet ended up liking a lot. For example, they made a strikingly great figure of the 80's Vigilante, a character who killed himself in his last appearance. (Commander Steel and Guardian, who probably had a fanbase in the dozens before, would be two more I'd put on that list.)

But that's the thing about a company with as deep a well of characters as DC (or Marvel, for that matter): there are any number of characters that may not be anyone's first choice for an action figure, or third choice, or even twenty-third choice. That doesn't mean the characters couldn't be excellent, eye-catching figures; and a figure that attracts attention could feed back into comics or other venues. And frankly, it would pad out the line, rather than going with Superman or Batman variants.

This list is some characters that could make great action figures, based on sculpt and design alone: not only are they not household names, they aren't even necessarily cult favorites, fondly remembered by fanboys. Nor are they characters that had figures back in the 80's, or appeared on Super Friends, or were re-imagined for a Vertigo series. Not to belabor the point, but these characters make Captain Comet look like an A-lister. (And he only didn't make the list because he's a bit bland for my tastes, but Mattel could slap together a figure of him from existing parts inside of five minutes.)

But get the Four Horseman to sculpt the bejeezus out of this lot...and they could be something.

1. The Viking Commando

One of Robert Kanigher's more endearingly crazy ideas: Viking Warrior Valoric is taken for Valhalla by the Valkyrie that loved him, but too soon, before he was quite dead. A cosmic storm dumps him in the middle of World War II, where Odin decrees Valoric will stay until he dies in battle. So, he's a big burly, slightly-suicidal Viking, with a battleax and hand-grenades, fighting the Nazis ("HUNS!") while his invisible yet hot Valkyrie girlfriend waits around for him to snuff it. Also, his advice column still makes me laugh.

Friends, I'm not one for hyperbole, but if the Viking Commando's action figure hit the shelves, the testosterone content of this country would increase a billionfold. And I assure you, not in a bad way, just men standing up for themselves and others, and generally taking no crap. Well, that and little boys would become goddamn sexual tyrannosaurs at the age of six.

2. G.I. Robot

Kids love robots. Kids love army guys. Ergo, kids will double love robot army guy J.A.K.E. 2, who in his first appearance (after the first J.A.K.E. was destroyed, during a team-up with the Creature Commandos) beat the hell out of an indestructible samurai robot with his own decapitated head. Oh, hell yeah.

Robert Kanigher again, thank you very much. J.A.K.E. stood for Jungle Automatic Killer Experimental; and the character was also set in World War II, although I want to say later stories were set in a post-apocalyptic future. I may have halluncinated that, let me get back to you...

3. Dolphin

Aquaman's wife (or ex-wife?) Mera is currently more popular than she's been in years, from her appearance in Blackest Night; but Aquaman's squeeze in a good chunk of Peter David's issues was the mysterious underwater blonde. What was her origin? Why didn't she remember her past? How did she get her powers? Dude, I don't know if we ever found out; but she was hot, and funny, and a pretty good match for Arthur at the time. (She would later end up with former Aqualad Tempest, which is not a case of trading up...)

For some reason, the only issues I could find of her were when she was wearing Aquaman's old orange shirt. (She was even wearing that when she later hooked up with Tempest, which should've been a hint for him.) Her previous outfit was cut-off shorts and a tied-off tee-shirt, and if Mattel can't sell a female figure wearing that, they have failed.

4. Black Spider

The original Black Spider was a former junkie turned murderous vigilante, who eventually blew himself up to get the dealer that killed his family. The second, created by Doug Moench and Kelley Jones, was a hired gun who stole the name, as well as being a swarmy bastard whom you couldn't wait for Batman to cave his face in.

Admittedly, Killer Moth has more name recognition; I don't think Black Spider has appeared in any of the animated series or prior toy lines. He's a glorified thug, true; but he could also be made with a repaint of Blue Beetle and some guns. He's a gimme for Mattle, easy as pie. (In all honesty, there's a couple of other never-before-made Batman villains that I would prefer, but both Anarky and KGBeast could require more tooling, or get hung up on their names. And Clayface III, the crazy one that melts people? He would be toyetic as all get out, but scares the hell out of me.)

5. Monarch

The big bad of 1991's Armageddon: 2001, this armored baddie was famously supposed to be revealed as Captain Atom, then last minute revisions made him Hawk, of Hawk and Dove. Exactly. Still, he's a bad guy in an armored suit, and we sure as hell don't have to ask for a removable mask for him. Make Monarch whoever you want him to be: Guy Gardner, Kid Eternity, Awkwardman, whoever. You really couldn't make a worse choice.

He's a nice, all-purpose bad guy; with almost no characterization that I can recall, which means for play purposes the sky's the limit. I for one would not request an unmasked variant.

6. Manhunter (Mark Shaw)

MAKE ME THIS GODDAMN FIGURE. Ahem. Sorry. I just love the hell out of that costume, though. John Ostrander and Doug Rice didn't create the character of Shaw, but they built him up quite a bit; and Suicide Squad fans may recall not only did his book crossover there, this Manhunter was a bounty hunter that often captured villains that would later end up on the Squad. (He catches the Penquin and Captain Cold his first issue, and not just in an attempt to sell the new character as badass: he legitimately outsmarts them both, sort of: catching the Penquin in the bathtub, and the drunk and disorderly Captain after his beloved Cubs lose.)

7. The Heckler

Mattel. Psst. Come here. Lemme tell you a secret: some buyers are going to like the Heckler from the start: he's a bold choice, he's got a different color scheme than most of the previous DCUC figures, and he's never been made before, in anything, ever. And you could probably make him, with zero sculpting, just existing parts. He's basically a blank body. OK, the paint apps are going to be a pill, but even so: A blank body. There may be fans that don't like him, but they can lump it and customize him into whomever else they want.

Plus, the Heckler. That would be like walking into the toughest bar in town and saying you could whup any man in the joint, like throwing the gauntlet: like saying you could do anything.


Now, every DCUC wave up to now has come with a Collect and Connect figure, ranging from the normal sized like Metamorpho, up to the goodly-sized like Giganta. Lately, they seem to be going with bigger-but-not-gigantic characters, like Kilowog or Darkseid; neither of whom would probably fit comfortably in your car, but nor could they eat it, either. My recommendation? Go the other way this wave. Go smaller characters, that couldn't be sold by themselves, but don't need to be packed with Superman to sell either: Krypto, Streaky, Mr. Mxypktk and Bat-Mite (both just over a head tall and possibly with an armature or something, to attach them to their hero's back or shoulder)...um...

Or, before we get down to characters like Doll-Man, what about in-DCUC-scale props, like the Bottle City of Kandor? Or the Phantom Zone Projector? A Flash-puppet, or vinyl-like empty Flash costume, for the end of Crisis on Infinite Earths?

I may have to double-down and see if I can pick even more obscure choices. Yeah, probably.


Viking Commando coming at you on the cover of All-Out War #1 by Joe Kubert.

G.I. Robot page from Weird War Tales #113, created and written by Robert Kanigher, with art by Fred Carrillo.

Tempest finds out about Dolphin in this page from Aquaman #37, "One Demon Life" Written by Peter David, pencils by J. Califiore, inks by P.L. Palmiotti.

The new Black Spider masks up in Batman #519, "Web of Scars" Written by Doug Moench, pencils by Kelley Jones, inks by John Beatty. His face gets wrecked up in this one, so an unmasked version would be fun.

Monarch panel from Extreme Justice #8, "Before You Quantum Leap!" Written by Charley Bracey, pencils by Al Rio, inks by Ken Branch. Ugh...

Manhunter demolishes Dumas' mask collection in Manhunter #4, "Through the Mask" Written by John Ostrander and Kim Yale, pencils by Doug Rice, inks by Kelley Jones. If you're good, later I'll show you why Manhunter should come with a wearable Peacekeeper mask...

Heckler image taken from the Keith Giffen Resource Page, since I couldn't find any of my Heckler comics and I'm getting irked about it.

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The Helmet. I just can't get past the helmet...

Well, once again, there is a reason this blog is called Random Happenstance, and not Timely Happenstance, or I would've talked about this character a couple months ago, before Watchmen came and went and anyone might've cared...

Peacemaker. The average comic reader could probably tell you that he was one of the Charlton Heroes purchased by DC, and in Watchmen the Comedian is based on Peacemaker. That, and he's got a terrible, terrible helmet. It's almost a perfectly serviceable, Judge Dredd-like helmet, but it looks like it has an additional clear plastic condom of a helmet on top of the first one. Just awful.

And if you've ever thought the Charlton characters didn't receive the most respectful treatment from DC (in the current DCU, the Question and Blue Beetle are dead and replaced with new characters, and Captain Atom is missing and probably evil) well, Peacemaker was paving the way there. He didn't have a ton of appearances before he was killed off in a super-hero massacre in Eclipso, but in his first DCU guest-spots in Vigilante, Peacemaker believed the ghosts of those he had killed lived in his helmet. I guess that's why he needed the extra helmet. Peacemaker, real name Christopher Smith, formerly Schmidt; was later cured of that delusion, but wasn't done being crazy yet: he was haunted, taunted by the ghost of his father, who had been an SS commandant of a concentration camp in World War II.

I find it interesting that while there certainly are ghosts in the DC Universe (the Spectre or Deadman, for example) most people who see them are still crazy, and Peacemaker certainly was. He was so over the top crazy, he would've made Rorschach look reasonable and sane. Further adding to his problems (on multiple levels) Smith served in Vietnam, with distinction, until a village massacre that led to a life sentence. (A WWII veteran father and Vietnam tour of duty would tie Smith to real-world dates, and make him a bit old for superheroing. Granted, in his MAX series, the Punisher is in the same boat, but Frank doesn't traditionally fight super-villains, or wear a stupid helmet.) After a couple years in prison, Smith volunteered for a top-secret military program called the Peacemaker Force; which was decommissioned before it even began. Except Smith didn't go back to prison, he simply wandered off and made a go of it himself.

It seems like a trade off that didn't quite work: the Nazi ghost may have seemed like an edgy hook, since Peacemaker's slogan, "He loves Peace so much he'll kill for it!" and Rambo tactics would've already been old hat by the time of his limited series in 1987, and as far as America knew, "terrorists" were convenient multi-ethnic bad guys for movies, video games, and comic books. The terrorists, led by cardboard Asian baddie Dr. Tzin-Tzin, were more racially diverse than the Justice League was at the time...But, as seen in this fight scene from issue #3, the ghost of Smith's father simultaneously disparages and cheers on his son (in the previous issue's cliffhanger, the head goon bets Peacemaker can't take 20-to-1 odds, and Smith's dad doesn't bite) while being a racist bastard, as you'd expect a Nazi to be. Still, that makes it harder to sympathize with Peacemaker, even if he doesn't appear to have his father's prejudices.

This isn't a good series, no: Dr. Tzin-Tzin's plot is overly complicated and stupid (your hoary old 'get the U.S. and U.S.S.R. to destroy each other and then take over in the anarchy that follows' plot), Smith has a whole support team (somehow) to repair his gear and try to keep him relatively sane--his psychiatrist dresses up as a maid, so Smith will talk to her without feeling threatened or judged--and while this is ostensibly in the DC Universe, there's no interaction even though the causalities are pretty high. Well, it was Europe, not Star City, I suppose. And the art isn't great, either. But it's at least an interesting failure: they were trying to do something with the character, and while it may not have taken off, it certainly wasn't for lack of trying.

Did I mention he had a jetpack? Yeah, Peacemaker had a jetpack.

Peacemaker #1-4 (1987) Written by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Tod Smith, inks by Pablo Marcos. I have to admit, I do kind of like the covers, particularly #2 and #3, both of which portray Peacemaker as a gung-ho, guns-blazing, keep 'em flying kind of hero; not the psychotic mess he actually was.

(By the way, I had the Fu Manchu-looking Dr. Tzin-Tzin, who had occasionally fought Batman and others, confused with Dr. Moon, who brainwashed Catwoman in stories that don't fit into continuity at all yet still make more sense than Zatanna-mindwipes.)

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"Chicks dig scars...woo, maybe not."

A short one this week, but what the hell, click to enlarge.

This one's for Dwayne, "the canoe guy," over at Matching Dragoons, certainly the blogosphere's number one site for Jonah Hex. If you have even a nodding familiarity with Jonah past, present, or future (I really liked Hex, honestly) then you need to be over there on a regular basis. He does more than just Hex coverage, but hell, that's enough!

This wave of Showcase figures is a strong one: classic Batgirl and Hawkman, and Superman with multiple Red Kryptonite inspired heads. That's mighty tempting, even though I have more Superman figures than I'd ever planned on getting. Hell, I still have to buy the electric one from DCUC.

I like a lot of characters that are either on the fringe or not traditionally part of the DC universe: in fact, I would say out of Blackhawk, Sgt. Rock, Warlord, Enemy Ace, and Jonah Hex; it's ok for them to crossover into special events like Crisis on Infinite Earths or time-travelling Justice League stories or even each other. For instance, Rock has a cameo in the Garth Ennis written Enemy Ace, and the Ace met Bat Lash in Guns of the Dragon.

That said, I think their individual books should be completely self-contained. I sure as fun don't wanna read a Jonah Hex Final Crisis crossover. If you read the superhero-tinged issues of Warlord, you'd be nodding your head in agreement right now...except nobody read those.

My DC Direct dream list gets shorter every year, as the figures I want trickle out: for example, a new Creeper is coming next year, I believe. I would love a classic Doom Patrol: Elasti-girl, Negative Man, Robotman, maybe the Chief. (No Mento. Mento sucks. I will brook no discussion on this matter.) Wildfire and Dawnstar from the Legion of Super-Heroes both have striking and toyetic looks, even if they might not fit in with the frankly, rather whitebread, other Legion figures. (Those other Legion figures are deliberately in a retro style.) OMAC. The real one, Kirby style. Hell, throw Kamandi in there too; maybe even Atlas to round out another Kirby wave.

Perhaps a wave or a box set of forgotten, ill-advised, or unpopular big bads: Extant! Monarch! Neron! Evil Max Lord! Some of these would be more fun as toys then they ever were in the comics.

There's probably more, but I'll have to think about it. If you have one you can't wait for, let me know, it might ring a bell... Read more!

You know what would've improved DC Universe 0 about 100% for me?

I was hoping one of the moons would be thrown out of orbit, Space: 1999 style. That would've been something...

Confession: I don't have the cash to drop on all of DC's crossovers or events, so it's in my best interest not to let them grab me. There wasn't much chance of that, but even so. I'm just not feeling it.

The Legion pages: even though they're trying hard to evoke the spirit of old LOSH stories...no, that's not right. Not so much the spirit, as the warm nostalgic glow fans still have for those characters. But any fondness or connection I felt for the Legion feels like it was left behind two or three reboots back, despite any of the relative quality of the current work.

I didn't like the art of the Batman section. Homage to Killing Joke aside, why does Batman need to talk to the Joker? I miss the days when Batman slapped their asses in the asylum, and that was the last you saw of 'em for a few months.

Wonder Woman: So, she's failed because there's still war and hate, but Zeus (or whoever) says there always will be? Then, how has she failed again? I'm just pitching her a bit of guff: I'm not a huge fan, but WW vs. 300 could be something.

Green Lantern: Pink hearts, blue moons, green clovers...Look, I like Green Lantern OK--I used to be a pretty big fan, honestly, and I like Guy and Kyle and Kilowog. (And John with JLA.) Hal's return has left me a bit cold, but even that doesn't bother me. Sinestro Corps? Great idea. And I like the Zamorans and Star Sapphire. But why did they have to get rings? And lanterns? Then you get into the rest of the spectrum, and you've lost me. I liked it better when there were Manhunters and Darkstars and matching accessories weren't mandatory. I just feel like the joke's been taken too far.

Spectre: Don't care. Sorry.

Rogues' Gallery: Killer Croc and Shadow-Thief are Flash villains now? I have only the vaguest idea who most of these schleps are. And since the art doesn't show their reaction to Libra's little salespitch-slash-sermon, I have no idea how they feel about it. My guess is, the next page someone shoots him and wonders who let the Jehovah's witness in. That was a little harsh, but my point is, there's no good reason for the Gallery to sit still for this proselytizing. Is this the same spiel as that Crime Bible, or are there two rival faiths in the super-villain community?

Don't get me wrong: I still enjoy a lot of DC's characters. But it's been like three-plus years of ongoing Crisis, and I'm a bit numb to it. And is it a bit telling that out of all the characters in 52, Countdown, Brave New World, One Year Later; this time around it's the traditional guns. You could say that the Crisis cycle has been building up to this, but if Shadowpact or Blue Beetle or the replacement Catwoman or Atom or Freedom Fighters or whoever else had broken big, they would've gotten at least something in DC Universe 0.

I'll check back later, but for right now, no thanks, DC Universe 0. Written by Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns, pencils by George Perez, Doug Mahnke, Tony Daniel, Ivan Reis, Aaron Lopresti, Philip Tan, Ed Benes, Carlos Pacheco, and J.G. Jones, inks by even more. Read more!