It's a coin-toss whether or not you like this comic. Or this post!

 

"What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?" Only Anton Chigurh and Donald Duck know for sure! From 1991, Walt Disney Comics and Stories #561, reprinting 1953's Walt Disney Comics and Stories #v13#5 (149), "Flip Decision" Story and art by Carl Barks. "Flipism" cover by William Van Horn.

Passing by what seems like a revival tent, filled sparsely with hobos and loafers, Donald is introduced to the philosophy of "flipism," on a coin toss with its presenter, Professor Batty. He's quickly enamored with the notion, of solving all decisions, great or small, with a coin toss: when the boys want to go to the movies and see "Gore in the Gully," Donald flips on it. Tails meant a car ride instead, navigated by more coin flips: this is both a great way to maybe explore when you're not really headed anywhere in particular, and also to get lost as duck. After several small disasters, they eventually hit a massive "seven route interchange" and a head-on collision with a truck! Which does get them back to Duckville, albeit in the back of a squad car; and as typical for these stories, the law never helps but only punishes, although the judge arguably has a point about Donald "letting a dime do your thinking for you."

Furious, Donald tries to track down Professor Batty, for revenge, and the dollar he spent on the flipism tract. The boys make a crack about maybe flipism could find him, and Donald decides, why not? Navigating the streets by coin flips, he eventually comes to a duplex, but in the dark can't tell how the coin landed, for which door to try: it landed tails, but he couldn't see it and decides he'll just try them both. Oddly enough, the first door is Daisy Duck's! Who was visiting her sister and nieces, and gives Donald the riot act for not taking her to the movies earlier. Donald ends up taking Daisy, April, May, June, Huey, Dewey, and Louis to "Gore in the Gully," while behind the duplex's other door, Professor Batty knows he dodged a bullet, as he prepares to skip town.

Man, I really want to see a Two-Face story in this style. "Alright, boys! Tonight, heads, we rob the Gotham Metropolitan Museum! Tails, we...crap, I don't know, kidnap this kid." Behind Harvey, the kid and a pair of twin goons look at other uncomfortably...

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That cover seems familiar somehow...

If you don't recognize it, the GCD has the answer for you! From 1990, Uncle Scrooge Adventures #19, "A Stitch in Time" Plot by Patsy Trench, script by Tom Anderson, US script by Geoffrey Blum, art by Daniel Branca. Cover by Don Rosa!

I really wish more people involved in finance or investing read Uncle Scrooge--actually, I just wish more people in general had read it, or maybe learned some of the lessons therein! Sometimes, Scrooge can make a bundle by being thrifty, inventive, and stubborn; and sometimes Scrooge can burn a ton of cash by being thrifty, inventive, and stubborn. You may guess where this one's headed, as Scrooge can't figure out how to unload a ton of silk: the market had changed to rayon and synthetics. Still, a conversation sparks an idea: Scrooge decides to use Gyro Gearloose's time machine, the TADPOLE (Temporal Axis Displacement Projectile and Ozone Layer Enhancer; of course that's a Doctor Who riff!) to go back to the middle ages and unload the silk there. Previously, the TADPOLE had run on smog, which I'm sure had been a problem when travelling to the past, so now Gyro had it converted to electricity; but it would take days to charge and because it would be carrying a load, Scrooge and the boys would only be able to stay in the past for three hours.

The sale hits a snag, since even a princely sum back then was lowballing Scrooge on the deal, so he opts out, which hurts the local king's pride, and the Ducks are chased out by guards. After returning to the present, Scrooge fumes that he should've bought the silk in medieval times and sold it now...so, maybe in 800 years, it would be worth something! Turning it around, he has Gyro recharge the TADPOLE, for a trip into the world of tomorrow, 2389! Where the silk is also not a big hit, but Scrooge's antique watch is, as he sells it for twenty million credits! They also miss the return window, so the TADPOLE returns without them, but so what? Gyro would recharge it and send it back...Except, Scrooge did not appear to take inflation into account, and was probably robbed on the watch deal: a glass of milk was twenty thousand credits, and a cheap hotel room two million for the night! Four million with shower!

Gyro charges the TADPOLE to a minimum for the trip, and finds the Ducks, wrapped in silk; which was all they had left to wear since they'd had to sell their clothes...Huh, does anybody wear proper silk anymore now? I'm not exactly stylish, although I'm remembering a pair of silk boxers I had once. Mmm, comfy! I wonder if I got tired of my butt slipping off chairs, though...

Also this issue: Scrooge tries converting to paper money and a round bin, in "Tricky Experiment," and a Carl Barks one-pager, where Scrooge helps Donald avoid making impulse purchases, with one last one. Shoot, I maybe oughta try that! Read more!

I have had haggis since, but couldn't tell you if it was a proper one, or if it made me brave.

I thought this could be the secret origin of something for me, but maybe 'haggis' came up in these comics more often than you'd guess: from 1990, Donald Duck #278, featuring "Mystery of the Loch" Story and art by Carl Barks. Reprinted from Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #v20#9 (237) from 1960.

After saving up 500 box tops of "Icky Qwickies" brand cereal--man, I already know you guys are gonna have a field day with that name; it seems like something some ad guy would be pleased as punch to come up with in the 50's, then in the late 80's they have to change the name to "Bran Skrotes" or something. Actually, they don't call it 'cereal,' just "the dynamic breakfast food," it could be a suppository for all we know--where were we? Huey, Dewie, and Louis cash their box tops in at the supermarket, for a choice of prizes. Hell, I eat a lot of cereal, and I don't think the box tops are even recyclable nowadays; we need to bring back those contests and promos and crap. Given a choice of premium items, the boys pick an underwater camera; unfortunately they do so just as Uncle Donald is reading about great wonders of the world that had never been photographed. Such as, the Loch Ness monster! Despite being trundled off to Scotland in record time, getting there before they even realize where they were going, the boys are skeptical.

Diving into the dark Scottish loch (Maybe this one? I don't know.) Donald discovers...a ton of other divers with the same get-rich-quick dream. Slightly daunted, Donald figures Nessie hides in caves, and if he could clear out the divers, the beast might appear. Rigging a bunch of life rings together, Donald inflates them all in the midst of the divers, surprising and scattering them. But, his plan works too well, as Donald then gets scared off himself by the Loch Ness monster. Trying to help him recoup some of his losses here, the boys look for a medicine to make Donald brave--and in Scotland, that's called haggis! Either inspired to courage by eating it, or no longer fearing death after eating it, Donald tries again for a picture, noting he sinks like a stone after a bite of haggis. Unfortunately, in short order Donald gets eaten by Nessie; and the boys have to sacrifice their remaining haggis to fish him out. Worse, his story is believed, if not his pictures.

Somehow as a small child I learned the word 'haggis' from a comic, and then asked for it repeatedly at chain restaurants. Would I have eaten it if I'd got it? OK, probably not. But I maybe didn't even learn it from this one, unless I had stumbled across the original comic: there was a digest reprinting in 1969, which didn't seem familiar; but the Western/Gold Key reprint was 1979: I would've been too old then to expect a restaurant to have it. Probably. Still, maybe it wasn't from this story. It may turn up yet! Read more!

There's next year's Halloween costume right there!

This story made me wonder if the Beagle Boys had acheived folk-hero status in Duckberg, as dressing up like a burglar doesn't seem to raise any eyebrows. Then again, I don't think I've ever seen a devil costume outside of an old Three Stooges. From 1990, Walt Disney's Donald Duck Adventures #7, "It's in the Bag!" Story and art by William Van Horn.

A not-so-friendly bet goes predictably awry, as Donald bets the nephews he could get scads more candy then them at Halloween. The boys scoff that Donald couldn't lug a pound of candy around without collapsing from exhaustion, and it's on: Donald throws on a handy devil suit, from when he was a tamale salesman in La Jolla...are we sure this isn't Daredevil's secret origin? Donald gets 'trick' repeatedly, from locals who think he's too old to be trick-or-treating. When outright theft fails, Donald is forced to change tactics, and tries to hit up the upper-crust section of town...where a burglar is already making the scene! A fun one, where Donald comes up on top in the end.

Another burglar strikes, in "Bedtime Spooks," then it's first aid vs. archaeology in "Duck-ankhamen," where the boys tape Donald up like a mummy to get their Junior Woodchuck badges-slash-shut him up for five seconds. Donald then falls into a dig, proving a local professor's pet theory about a connection between ancient Egypt and Duckberg...somehow. The details are still fuzzy, but a mummy's pretty good proof, right? And the safety pin, why, that's been around for...thousands of years...Someone is so fired. (Dialogue by Bob Foster, art by Vicar.) Read more!

The other day, I thought that last Sgt. Rock comic was going to be a downer, so I made sure to have something more cheery next: from 1990, Donald Duck #279, reprinting "Maharajah Donald" from 1947's Boys' and Girls' March of Comics #4, story and art by Carl Barks.

Donald tricks Huey, Dewey, and Louie into cleaning the garage, by promising them anything he didn't want to keep, which turns out to be a stub of a pencil. Undaunted, they then trade it for a ball of string, then trade that to a kite-flyer for his knife, and so on and so forth, until they've traded a loose pearl for a steamship ticket to India! Which Donald promptly yoinks: they only got one ticket after all, not three. The boys then stow away in "bon voyage baskets" they had filled with fruit, but they're later found by the purser, and Donald claims he never saw those nephews before in his life. 

After being forced to work the whole trip, the boys swipe Donald's ticket and passport: if they couldn't go ashore, he wasn't going to get to either! But, they're then approached by the Maharajah of Hoopadoola, who offers to help them out, if Donald will perform...a small favor. Yeah, he's not suspicious or anything. The Maharajah is richer than hell, with a lucrative enterprise of loaning gold and collecting interest in diamonds; but he has something else in mind: the jungle of Bumpay. He already had the mortgage, and they had to pay in diamonds or land...and he wanted the land. Which is where Donald comes in: all he had to do, was ride the old "mogul" elephant across the river over to Bumpay. And the Maharajah is waiting with a cannon, so they can't turn around back!

Although a tiger nearly gets them, the elephant knows where its going: the royal palace of Bumpay. They're not surprised or thrilled to see Donald, even though he was the new Maharajah of Bumpay: the Maharajah of Hoopadoola had long before figured out how to game their system. Bumpayan custom was to release the sacred elephant every year, and whoever rode him back was the new maharajah--how many times will I type 'maharajah' this post? How many times will I mistype it, is a better question...The maharajah then had to weigh as much as a hundred pounds of diamonds, which would then be used to pay off the mortgage: if he didn't weigh enough, Bumpay would get foreclosed on and lose another chunk of tiger land, and the new maharajah would be thrown to said tigers! Since just quitting doesn't work, Donald goes with plan B: beg his nephews to save his feathered hindquarters.

Since Donald didn't weigh a hundred pounds, the boys have a fix: mixing gold dust and glue into his feathers to weigh him down. They get him to 98 pounds and figure he can drink two pounds of water; if they used the water hose instead of the gas one...the ballooned-up Donald weighs in at "60 pounds less than nothing!" so the Bumpayans are a little let down. Maybe they can recoup some losses with ticket sales to the tiger feeding! The nephews are thrown out of the palace so they don't rescue Donald, but all hope is not lost, as they find an old stub pencil, and start trading up. They manage to get 500 pounds of cat food, which they lob into the tiger pens, so when Donald is thrown into the stadium, the tigers are so stuffed they can barely move! Since even the tigers don't want him, the Bumpayans have had just about enough of this maharajah, and ask how they can get rid of him: steamer tickets home for everyone! 

This trading scheme has been known by different names, like One Red Paperclip or Straw Millionaire. I think there was a pretty good episode of DS9 where they did it as well. I also swear, did somebody mention this one in the comments some time we checked out a Donald Duck comic? Sorry, I didn't plan this; just lucky! 

Also this issue: "Amundsen's Talisman," a fanciful exploration of Antartica; and a USPS statement of ownership. Average number of copies sold during preceding 12 months (total paid circulation): 69,492. Actual number sold for issue nearest filing date (total paid circulation): 68,371.

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Thanks to my childhood in Montana, any car drive longer than five minutes, if I'm not driving, I'll fall asleep. An exaggeration, but not much of one! But, I also recall occasionally driving through a stench, usually attributed to "skunk cabbage." Which, if we're honest, I thought was a local expression, or family-safe euphemism, for roadkill! But there are real plants known by that unfortunate sobriquet, although I tend to doubt any are considered a delicacy. Unless you're Uncle Scrooge, I guess. From 2019, Disney Comics and Stories #7/750, reprinting "The Money Tree" from 2015's Topolino #3132, written by Laura and Mark Shaw, translated by Erin Brady, art by Giorgio Cavazzano.

Donald Duck's horrible job for Uncle Scrooge this week: protecting Scrooge's skunk cabbage patch, in the shadow of the money bin. The skunk cabbage has a distinctive odor, and vaguely resembles big cauliflower balls: Scrooge loves it, and surprisingly he's not the only one, as a very determined crow is locked in a running battle with Donald to get it. Is it weird that Donald's fighting a bird? Well, I think there are a bunch of Thanksgiving covers where Donald's having turkey, so who knows. The situation is escalated by the passing Gyro Gearloose, who after brainstorming with Donald, settles for some super plant food to accelerate the skunk cabbage yield. Which also multiplies the stench!

Unfortunately, Donald then throws the plant food at the crow, which causes another plant to grow: a mighty tree, which Scrooge discovers, sprouts bags of money! So much better than skunk cabbage. Except that money's coming from somewhere, isn't it? And that crow hasn't given up yet either...Multiple fun bits in this, like Scrooge recognizing a seemingly random dime ("I remember earning it!") or swimming through his money bin like he was the Sub-Mariner. ("It's your element!")

Also this issue, "The Distracted Delay," from 2017's Topolino #3230, written by Daniele Vessella, art by Maurizio Amendola. Donald's date with Daisy is in ten hours, and if he's late for this one it could be months before he gets to see her again. After avoiding a visit from time-thief Fethry, though; Donald gets into jam after jam, including getting hassled by the cops again! If I randomly hit a third in a row with overzealous policing, per Ian Fleming that'll count as enemy action! Read more!

Some time back, we mentioned how Chris Giarrusso's Mini-Marvels gave me that "feeling of injustice making your tummy hurt," and so does today's book! From 1978, Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #v38#6/450, reprinting "The Jinxed Jalopy Race" from 1963's Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #v23#6 (270). Story and art by Carl Barks. 

Pretty straightforward start: Daisy Duck is named queen of this year's Mistletoe Ball. To win the right to kiss her under the mistletoe, contestants have to win "the grueling fetch-the-mistletoe jalopy race," which would actually be a rather leisurely drive if cheating didn't appear to be actively encouraged. Even lucky Cousin Gladstone isn't immune, as his entire engine has been swiped: Donald manages only because the nephews had "lived" in his car for weeks to guard it. (This would've been long before living in your car would have a much more negative implication.) Gladstone won't quit, though; counting on his good luck to hex Donald, and brother, he put the whammy on him. 

A nervous Donald tries to guard against bad luck, so is of course immediately pulled over and ticketed by a motorcycle cop for throwing out a gum wrapper. He's forced to head into town to pay his fine, and nervously drinks a bottle of soda, then accidentally drops it out of the car when a wasp comes for it. The judge drives over the broken bottle, blows his tire, and gets further scraped up by the garbage on the side of the road, but he had seen the "litterbug's" plates. And when said litterbug turns up in his court...

Sentenced to pick up all the roadside trash for a stretch of highway, Donald is going nowhere fast; as Daisy wonders why he wasn't back with the mistletoe yet. She isn't thrilled to see Gladstone get another car and take off, either. Gladstone sees Donald and quickly realizes what must've happened, and dumps some more litter for him; which of course the cop doesn't see, he was taking a nap. Donald, knowing he's licked, stops breaking his legs picking up trash, since there wasn't a reason to hurry anymore. Gladstone wins, and tells Daisy that Donald was just napping by the roadside, which is not met with calm reason...There's a happy ending, sure; but still: don't trust cops! Or judges. Or luck.

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Same here, guys, same here.

I almost thought I blogged this one already; or maybe I just read it and set it back in the blog pile. From 1981, Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #491, reprinting from 1949, "Donald Duck's Worst Nightmare" Story and art by Carl Barks.

Donald is in a bad way here, as he is being plagued with recurring nightmares--actually, I guess they aren't recurring, he seems to have a different terrible one every time he falls asleep! When sleeping pills don't help, the nephews get him to a doctor for "remedy number two," to work at something he hates until he wears himself out. That turns out to be crochet, which the "he-man" Donald sees as beneath him. When hours of crocheting doesn't help, Huey, Dewey, and Louie are down to remedy number three: frighten Donald with something worse than his nightmares! They don't have a lot of luck with that: they try to scare him with a bearskin, but Donald had just had a doozy about the zoo leaving the lion cage open, and a mean old bear doesn't compare!

Daisy happens by, to ask what's up with the bearskin, and the boys mention Donald's crocheting, which Daisy just has to see for herself, with the local women's crochet club! (Geez, Daisy, you could at least pretend to be concerned for him for a minute!) Forced to flee, Donald gets himself in a number of predicaments, none of which scare him more than being forced to give a talk on crocheting. A fun story with a fun ending; although I must say I don't recommend any of the three remedies for your nightmares, sorry. Read more!

Why is this in the same box as Jonah Hex and G.I. Joe Special Missions?

All part of my process! Or maybe a bunch of each was bought at the same store? But today we've got from 1978, Walt Disney's Comics and Stories #v39#3 / 459--Gold Key did not give a rip for numbering, but reprinting "Balloonatics", story and art by Carl Barks.

Donald Duck just wants to get the yard raked--seems simple enough. But Huey, Dewey, and Louis are tear-assing about with balloons. After his leaf pile explodes, Donald rages out, following the balloon strings, but finding not his nephews but inventor Gyro Gearloose. Gyro had given them some balloons to test out, but apparently also has time...to build a giant Donald Duck balloon for him to terrorize his nephews with!

While the kids rake, Donald takes a nap on his balloon, accidentally hitting the gas switch and floating away! He wakes up freezing, ten miles up, with no way down, and that's the least of his problems: the army has seen him on radar, and aren't taking any chances. A pilot advises it could be "an enemy spy device," but what enemies did Duckberg have? Ah, probably a bunch. The pilot pops the balloon with a dart, leaving Donald falling and scrambling to grab enough of the popped balloon to use as a parachute. Which, along with landing in the leaf pile, saves him, although the leaves are scattered all over the yard again.

I think I picked this up with a bunch of other books, one of my last visits to EntertainMart. Hopefully, we'll see them again if not real soon, soon enough.
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Reckon it took about twenty minutes, after returning from California and settling back into my secret sanctum, to get a cold. First cold of the season, and I had bags under my eyes when I wandered into the bathroom this afternoon. Charming.

Though he's still in need of some tests, the Youngest is starting on rice milk, and so far so good. I had been pretty worried that he would spot the difference, but he seems to like it right fine. The Wife also made him some muffins that fit what he's going to need to eat from now on, and he had three and a half. Good start there.

So I'm dogging it a little today, but let's take a quick look at one of my little souvenirs from Disneyland. (And as usual, click pictures to enlarge, hopefully.) I usually like to pick up something I couldn't get at home, and Donald Duck as Han Solo is a park exclusive, so he qualifies. Besides, as the clerk pointed out, it's just weird to see Donald with hair. Looks like another Donald, Trump.

I've been a Star Wars fan since I was a kid, although I don't buy as many anymore. The last big batch I bought was probably the first wave of Attack of the Clones. Aside from those, a few G.I. Joes, and the Indiana Jones figure my wife got me from Disneyland a few years back; almost all the toys I've bought in recent years have been roughly the same scale as a Marvel Legend or DC Direct figure, or close enough for display purposes. The standard scale Star Wars toys seem tiny in comparison, although that size lends itself to vehicles much more easily; we'll almost certainly never see a good, Legends-scale Quinjet or Blackbird.

That said, I probably have about a dozen different Han Solo figures. Aside from Donald there, the last I remember buying is the Force Battler version, which came with...a not terribly convincing Stormtrooper disguise, but at least they were trying to add some play value there. Also, squeeze his legs and his arms draw. Or flail. Again, trying.

I liked this line a lot, although the distribution and case packs were a little spotty: a lot of Obi-Wan's and Anakin's and Palpatine's clogging the racks, while most of the other figures I was lucky to see one of, ever. There was a Clone Trooper that wasn't great, but wasn't terrible; but I didn't want to have one lone Trooper: I imagine like a lot of kids, I had one Stormtrooper figure when I was young, and he wasn't very imposing against like three Lukes and a couple Hans. The Yoda was surprisingly out-of-scale to the rest of the line, and I skipped that one as well. Maybe we'll look at the ones I did buy some other time. Still, I don't know if the semi-anime style of the Force Battler figures didn't catch on, or if the bad case packs killed it, or if Star Wars fans gave the idea of another scale the collective finger.

While Donald's a neat little figure, I wonder if the floodgates are going to be opened now: we've seen Star Wars Transformers and Star Wars Disney, is Star Wars Family Guy next? Also, as you might guess from the photo, I was thinking they might have missed an opportunity in not making a Chewbacca figure. My wife said Chewbacca has a very distinctive appearance, even though she's not a fan, and she couldn't see a Disney character as Chewie. Hmm.

If you're interested in the Disney Star Wars figures, even if you are planning on going to the park, you may want to shop around online for the Goofy as Darth Vader figure: I heard it mentioned that one sold out fast, and I didn't see one in any shop. I did pick up a couple other little things, but that's for another time. Read more!