"The End" Week: Battlestar Galactica #23!

Even though I watched the show, and was already deeply hooked on comics by Star Wars, I honestly can't recall if I so much as flipped through an issue of this series when it was on the racks! This is an issue I'd been looking to find for "The End" for years now, and finally: from 1981, Battlestar Galactica #23, "The Last Hiding Place" Story and pencils by Walt Simonson, inks by Klaus Janson.

No Cylons this issue, as the Colonial Warriors are working the case of some food pirates, which might be related to the seeming disappearance of 47 of the 50 richest surviving colonists. Duh, of course they're hoarding goods, and willing to commit murder to cover it up. The parasites don't quite get what's coming to them (a trip out an airlock) but they do get brought down: charmingly, semi-regular lug Jolly gets a heroic turn and the girl in the end! And, a pathway to earth might have been discovered, and the Galactica sets out for it...

Marvel was of course chasing that Star Wars high, and aside from maybe a bump at the beginning, I'm not sure this series ever got close. It ran longer than Marvel's first Star Trek, though. Read more!

My love for you is like a truck...wait, I've used that one already.

Perhaps because it's fresh in mind, but I liked this issue more than any single episode I can remember of either version of the show! From 1980, Battlestar: Galactica #16, "Berserker" Plot and script by Roger McKenzie, plot assist by Bob Layton, art and colors by Walt Simonson.

Still on the run from the Cylons, the Galactica and the surviving fleet are in desperate need of fuel; and Adama reluctantly sets to order a geologist team to check out a planet described as "one huge active volcano." Before that happens, a Cylon satellite orbiting the planet sends out an alarm, which the Galactica can block temporarily, at the cost of interfering with their own communications. A Viper patrol is sent to destroy it (interestingly, and suspiciously, there's no one we know in that patrol...) but finds it too easy. Scanning, they discover the satellite is booby-trapped: destroying it would set off an explosive charge in the planet, destroying it and still warning the Cylons. The satellite would have to be disarmed first, so the demolition team is sent in. One member notes none of them have any experience, except "Master-Tech Shadrack," who I think was a recurring character in this stretch of comics but I don't think was from the show. They may have needed a Scotty-type, though. As the shuttle launches, Apollo realizes they wouldn't be able to contact the Viper patrol or Galactica, and takes another patrol after it.

Before reaching the satellite, the shuttle is attacked, by a murderously powerful fighter. The first Viper patrol is already gone, and the mystery fighter guns down the rest until only Apollo remains. And even he gets shot up, with the enemy pilot snarkily taunting him! Meanwhile, Shadrack and his team work on the satellite, which is full of deadly traps.

About to crash land, Apollo has to pull a desperate trick perhaps more Starbuck's speed: blow his canopy, then blast the fighter with his sidearm! Both ships crash, but both pilots survive, with the enemy revealed to be a Cylon--Mark III! A Mark III Imperator series, he explains chattily: you get the feeling he's grateful to have someone to talk to, even as he tries to kill Apollo. III explains he and his prototype brethren were feared and exiled for being too ambitious, but with a faster-than-light ship he could return to take the Cylon Empire from the Imperious Leader. On the run and out of breath in the volcanic craters, it's not helping that Apollo emptied his laser shooting down the Mark III, but he still has a plan: feign injury, lure him into a snare, and dump his metal ass into the lava!

By then, Shadrack had disarmed and destroyed the satellite; which was probably there to keep III there more than anything. Apollo contacts Galactica for pickup for himself and his surviving pilots; and they spend a couple weeks mining fuel from the planet. Sometime after that, a figure emerges from the lava; the Mark III lives! And while the humans may be gone, there were several wrecked Vipers for him to salvage: he had already waited a thousand years--er, 'yahrens'--for revenge, this would take no time at all. III was pretty talky for a Cylon, but I guess with Lucifer there was a precedent.
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The dolly's not his. Presumably.

Sometimes, you may find a figure on eBay or Amazon that you were either previously unaware of, never saw in stores, or otherwise slept on. Thanks to those sites, you can now go back and get those figures, but what do you do for quality control problems on a nine-year-old figure? Like this one! Diamond Select's Battlestar: Galactica Razor Cylon Warrior, from 2008.

This was an exclusive from somewhere called "ToyRocket.com," which I hadn't heard of before, but doesn't appear to be there anymore. There were other styles of Cylons available as exclusives for ThinkGeek, Toys R Us, and Action Figure Express; but they were all the newer reboot style. ToyRocket's was a Guardian or Centurion, more closely resembling the Cylons of the original TV series, especially in the head. But unlike the originals, who were actors in suits, I'm pretty sure all of the reboot Cylons (except the ones in human form) were CGI.

The Cylon Warrior has some interesting pistons on its legs, arms, and torso; but a small ring in the left shoulder was was broken out of the package, so the piston is all that's holding his arm on. A bit of glue or something might reinforce that, at the cost of a little range of motion. Still, it makes me feel this figure is a bit fragile. He came with a rifle, with the barrel a little bent; and a dolly. A dolly? I'm guessing it's not the Cylon's, but rather some fallen human child's. It's an odd choice, but symbolic. It's that or come with a literal child's face to stomp on...

Around the start of October, I honestly thought for a moment that I would be pretty much done with buying figures for the year: I had finished the Marvel Legends Netflix and Ragnarok waves, and got the DC Multiverse Rookie wave; I didn't think anything else was coming out the rest of the year! Not only was I wrong about that, I also opted to get a lot of Star Trek and other sci-fi figures. With more coming; I may have to update this picture at the end of the year.
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Over the yahrens--I mean, years---the various incarnations and eras of Battlestar: Galactica have been popular enough for comic book versions. Yet, I don't think any lasted as long as Marvel's, and I don't think it's been reprinted, either; which means finding any for me has been strictly by chance. Like today's book! From 1980, Battlestar: Galactica #12, "The Trap!" Written and co-plotted by Roger McKenzie, penciled and co-plotted by Walt Simonson, inks by Klaus Janson.

And there are several traps here! Commander Adama is still trapped in the Memory Machine, where he had been trying to recover any lost recollection of the lost Thirteenth Colony. Starbuck is trapped by Eurayle, the somewhat-psychotic empress of the Scavenger World: she could possibly use her mental powers to save Adama, but only if Starbuck will become her consort. Or boy toy. Whatever.

As Starbuck says his goodbyes to his, um, several true loves; and gives himself to Eurayle; three Cylon base stars close in on Galactica. Tigh leads the fleet in setting a trap with the Scavengers, but welcomes the return of Adama! His tactical genius will surely save the day...


...really? "Launch all vipers"? I could'a done that...

Anyway, I need to keep an eye out for more of these; which of course didn't occur to me at all the other day.

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Nine random line items:

1. Dear alternative radio playlist makers: please remove Soundgarden's "Spoonman" at your earliest convenience. Immediately replace it with "Pretty Noose." That is all.

2. So, it's been a couple of days since the Battlestar Galactica finale...I didn't hate it, no. But I didn't love it, either. (This isn't going to be very spoilery, just my impression, if you're waiting to see it.) More like, I can appreciate what the creators were trying to do, but; and this is probably due more to my personal taste and bias, but: even though my suspension of disbelief can cover the cheesiest of giant Kaiju monsters or the wobbliest of old cardboard sci-fi sets, whenever the hand of God is involved, I have a harder time accepting it. Which is ironic, since sci-fi (and comics) pulls out the deus ex machina rabbit-out-of-a-hat last minute save all the time. And as long as there's a hand's wave of an explanation, I'm fine with that. It might not be completely satisfying, but it sits better with me than, "God's will." That probably says as much about me as it does about Galactica, though. And it may say something that I'm still chewing it over now.

3. I guess the title "Nine Random Line Items" is a bit of a misnomer. They aren't completely random, just things I've been thinking about. If there was an item that was just, say, Pork noodle chowder thrower cannon...that would be closer, I guess.

4. Years ago, I used to work customer service at a Future Shop; before they went under. Think Circuit City, only gone sooner. Not a terrible job, really; since there were a lot of fun people there. But part of my job seemed to be keeping customers away from the computer techs. Now, the customers may very well have had legitimate questions about what was wrong with their computer; but it probably wasn't cost or time-effective to have the techs walk them through it when they should be just fixing it. That, and the techs were terrible with the customers. They were all cool otherwise, but after working on the same problems all day, the techs would be frustrated that any given customer couldn't understand it.

It's not a rational frustration, but I seem to be getting it myself lately. I explain the same things over and over and over some more; and damnit, I'm got it down, why don't you!? Because I haven't talked to you before, because you haven't done this a million times, because this isn't your field of expertise...there's a lot of possible reasons before we get to 'because you're a damn moron' or 'because annoying me is your only purpose on this earth.' And yet the mind goes there straightaway. I'm usually as patient as a zen monk, so I'm trying to write off recent crankiness as weather-related: it's still been too wet to ride in the morning. Soon.

And almost immediately: as I type this, it's snowing lightly. It won't last or stick, but...man.

5. I need a haircut. Badly.

6. It's probably a moot point after the relatively disappointing performance of the movie, but everyone seemed to be getting into those "After Watchmen, what's next?" lists. So, we'll hit that topic far past it's expiration date...now, I loved Preacher and Transmetropolitan (and Planetary, but I'll come back to that one) and would be thrilled to see more people reading those, sure. But I'd recommend for readers post-Watchmen the works of Kyle Baker, starting with Why I Hate Saturn or The Cowboy Wally Show. I realized recently I must've lent out my copy of I Die At Midnight and never got it back, so I reread You Are Here instead. All of Baker's work has great, stylish cartooning; and accessible, engaging characters. You don't need to have read comics for years to read Baker.

Ooh, I should be able to think of more off the top of my head. I think the Garth Ennis/Killian Plunkett Unknown Soldier from Vertigo a few years back would do well there. I think it's the most cinematic work I've seen from Ennis, and I love the art in it, and it's got the murky, ambiguous morality someone coming off Watchmen could be interested in. Howard Chaykin's American Century might pull a few readers as well, if presented right: predating Mad Men by a few years, it was a period piece set in the fifties with Chaykin's traditional eye on loose morals and self-serving heroism. Darn, I need to re-read that one now.

More behind the break!
7. On Planetary, I know there's been some rumblings on when the last issue is going to come out, which would, y'know, be nice. If I was better organized, I would have a specific box for orphaned, unfinished series, where books like Planetary and La Cosa Nostroid would languish with Daredevil: The Target and Sonic Disruptors. Scud, the Disposable Assassin was in such a state until it was finally completed, and then you get not only the conclusion, but it's like getting the old issues back. I loved that series, but knowing (at the time) that it may never be finished really undermined my enjoyment of it. So, I'm looking forward to the end of Planetary, so I can read the old issues again. That makes sense...right?

8. Even though we're quickly approaching some magical digital utopia where everything is available digitally (unless the financial dystopia hits first, and no one can afford houses to keep their computers in...) there's so much stuff that I've lost over the course of years that I'll never be able to replace. I was setting up a new minidisc full of music last night, and was dismayed at how much I don't have. Even though my archaic computer's so full of music it runs like crap, I still don't have every song I can remember having: I wanted the Breeders' "Do You Love Me Now?" and Iron Maiden's "Seventh Son of a Seventh Son" and I didn't have either one. (Good lord, "Seventh Son" was a ten minute song?) Or Prince: I used to have a ton of old Prince stuff, and I think it got stolen years ago. Or the Talking Heads' "Slippery People," from the Stop Making Sense album I haven't seen in years.

My musical tastes are doubtless dated, since when I stopped working in a music store, I stopped being exposed to it on a regular basis. Gah, I think the last CD I bought (he still buys actual CD's! The man's a dinosaur!) was Portishead's last album. Still, although my computer and my minidisc and several boxes are full of music, my head seems to be filled with more. A common problem, I imagine.

Incidentally, am I the last person alive to still use regular headphones, with the hard band? I don't care for the little in-your-ear earbud things.

9. There is no ninth item.


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Taking the evening off for Galactica:

Um, the TV show, actually. Catching up a bit. Two posts tomorrow, though, 'kay? One's a rerun because of the immensely special date, and the other a panel, but they're still fun. Panel from Battlestar Galactica #1 (Maximum Press) "War of Eden, part 1" Story by Rob Liefeld and Robert Napton, layouts by Karl Altstaetter, pencils by Hector Gomez, inks by Rene Micheletti.

Years before the "re-imagining," there was a brief little upsurge in Galactica's visibility, with Liefeld's comic version and new toys on the shelves--I still have one of the Cylons, I think, but the figure looks more dated than this book now.
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