I'd probably give "Logjam of Super-Heroes" a try!

It doesn't feel like the worst reboot they ever got! Maybe the shortest, though. From 1998, Mr. Mxyzptlk (Villains) #1, "Invaders from the 10th Dimension!" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Tom Morgan, inks by Scott Koblish.

This was part of a fifth-week DC event, "New Year's Evil," which also featured one-shots for Body Doubles, Dark Nemesis, Darkseid, Gog, Prometheus, The Rogues and Scarecrow. Crumbs, we blogged a funny bit from that last one like 19 years back! Was this the first time Mxyzptlk got his own comic? I guess he didn't get billing for World's Funnest, and this doesn't hit those heights, but what does?

Facing the invading "Ultimator" from the 10th Dimension, Mr. Mxyzptlk tries to defend his world; taking refuge in his "magical comic collection!" Thrill to titles like Logjam of Super-Heroes, Just-Us League of America, Young Heroes Unloved (timely!) and more! Grant can dish it out, but also takes it, with Lobo's Nephews, who are giving the business to Ziggy Starman. Ultimately, Mxy is able to knock out the Ultimator with "the Zzzzandman! Mopius--the Lord of ZZZ's!" Which is also how Superman and Lois get rid of Mxy: by pretending to be asleep during his story. (It's the blue, electric Superman; looping back to the cover gag!)

Read more!

See, they had to go "Crisis" with a 'K' or it's a whole thing...

...also, it's "krimson" Kryptonite, because red Kryptonite would be hokey, right? Title hijinks aside, this is still a pretty good one: from 1990, Superman #50, part four of "Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite," "The Human Factor" Written by Jerry Ordway, art by Dan Jurgens, Brett Breeding, Kerry Gammill, Dennis Janke, Curt Swan, John Byrne, and Jerry Ordway.

After getting his ass thrown out of the Lexcorp building, a glum and powerless Clark Kent recaps the recent storyline: Lex Luthor had used a mysterious red rock, to take away his powers and give him a solid thrashing. Swiped with the help of the Will Payton Starman, the rock was now being studied by Professor Hamilton, who found it wasn't anything like Kryptonite; but that wasn't helping yet. Forced to ride the subway, Clark's there when a giant mutated rat attacks his car, and still tries to help a downed man, putting himself in harm's way: he's luckily saved by Guardian. Later, on the streets, he sees a mugging thwarted by Gangbuster: Metropolis's other heroes were trying to rally to cover for the MIA Superman.

Back at his apartment, Clark gets a call from his mom, who left a surprise for him in his suitcase: a wedding ring. Y'know, just in case he might need it or something. After some drama at the Planet, Clark makes a somewhat awkward proposal to Lois at lunch, but she has to think about it. No time now, since she's got a call (on the restaurant's cordless phone!) from Lex Luthor! He offers to help Lois's ailing mom, if she will become his official biographer. Lois says no way, but Clark grabs the phone, to demand a meeting. He tells Lois this wasn't news, but to help Superman. Clark meets Lex, who threatens charges against him and Starman for stealing the rock, but Clark just wants the story, off the record. Dying of Kryptonite poisoning, Lex was desperate to bring down Superman...but, by "rule" couldn't tell him how he did it. Still, if he told Clark, that wouldn't be telling Superman, right? And he had to rub both of their noses in it: the red rock was a gift from "the imp from the Fifth Dimension...Mister Mxyzptlk!" Cue one of the best page turn/cutaways ever in comics, as a purple-and-green Mxy is very obviously hassling the Fantastic Four! Circa FF #11, and I always forget the Impossible Man appeared that early.

Changing back to his DC look, Mxyzptlk storms back to give Lex an earful, as Clark starts to put it together, since his powers were returning. Lex and Mxy are arguing about it when Superman shows up: Mxy had irons on the fire in other dimensions, and thought he could bug Supes by "remote control" with the rock. Now mad at Lex, Mxy tells Superman he'll leave for the usual 90 days, if Supes will punch out Lex. Superman refuses, but since he wants to get back to "that other, fun, world" (careful!) Mxy "helps" him by cloning a giant blobby monster from Lex's skin cells, so when Supes punches it, he was free to go. Back on "fun world" Mxy changes his color scheme and is ready to play, but the FF has copped to the fact they can ignore him and he'll go away.

After a bit more subplot work, Clark catches up with Lois at the hospital, where her mom is improving, and she has her answer: yes! They share a romantic kiss, in hospital parking, which I've cut off there...Keep in mind, there was still a few issues before she would be let in on his secret identity; but I think Clark felt he had to win Lois over, not Superman. 

I would've been buying Superman comics casually at that point, post-Byrne (and I wasn't all-in with him, either) but I would've bought the crossover issue, Starman #28! Along with the "You will not believe the last page!" cover blurb, Swan and Byrne on the cover would also have been a draw; but this was pre-Twitter, pre-comics internet, so the FF cameos were a complete surprise! That was neat, although some readers have since twisted themselves in knots trying to get all that to fit into continuity: it's just a laugh, alright? The only thing I could think of that might have come close--it's not as good, but would've fit in 1990--would've been if Mxyzptlk had to hustle back to the 24th century...

Read more!

"Cyber Monday" is nonsense, but I'm still taking the day off.

I had vacation days I had to use, so this worked out all right. I also did not have a huge amount of Christmas shopping this year--my sons and nephews are the age where they're probably just getting GameStop gift cards--but I did get a couple of things over the weekend.

For starters, I got the Wal-Mart exclusive Batman and Cyborg figures...from a Ross store. For about six bucks each. I probably could've bought another, walked it to the nearby Wal-Mart, and exchanged it for, say, that new Harley Quinn figure, but that seems like a dick move. On the other hand, that Wal-Mart still has Bats and Cyborg on the shelf at full price...That same Wal-Mart, I had a copy of Justice League on DVD in my hand, but even for four bucks it didn't feel worth buying. These figures, just barely more so.

The regular edition Batman for Justice League, with the Steppenwolf Collect-n-Connect piece, has some slight paint differences, but also has a Batman head with goggles. The exclusive is a more traditional Bat-Fleck head, but man, those should've just been included as swappable heads. Ditto Cyborg: the exclusive is a fully masked head, which feels too small for an actual skull to fit in. It's not the first time Mattel's tried to double-dip on Cyborg, either: way back in the DCUC days, Cyborg had an exclusive with an alternate sonic-cannon hand, that also should've just been included.

Batman's cape is some kind of synthetic, instead of plastic, and while it curls a bit on the sides, it's not bad. He may work a little better with a vehicle, if you have one for him. Oh, and these two didn't come with any accessories or Steppenwolf parts: instead, if you buy both, you can build three Mother Boxes. Not the traditional Kirby ping-ping-ping ones, but the death-MacGuffin ones from the movie. I'm sure I'll end up using them in the background somewhere.

I ended up unimpressed with Cyborg, but I had a spare Ultron head from the recent Marvel retro-carded Vision. (I kinda wish that one had a cape like this Batman, actually; Vish already has much greater range of motion.)

Doc Ock was picked up a bit ago, but the GameStop exclusive Gamerverse Spider-Man is new. Fwoosh has a very good review, that points out this is a thicker, more super-heroey build than the leaner "pizza Spidey," so subject to taste. It mentioned not being able to do anything with the attached weblines, but play around with those a bit: I do also wish he came with the open, "splayed" hands some others have got. That, and their review of the Disney Toybox Spider-Mobile...man, that one is tempting.

Oh, and Mr. Mxyzptlk! Also from GameStop, although I got mine without the Kalibak Collect-n-Connect pieces. Which is fine: all these years, I think I would've had two mismatched pieces from the original version. If fans complained about the lack of articulation for Spider-Ham, they really should've pitched a fit for Mxy here, except I seem to recall he was an overpriced, specialty release. Really needed a stand or something.

(I don't think Kilg%re is really an imp, but Calamity Jon suggested anyone good at their job might have one!)
Read more!

How can you ignore someone who gave you a sombrero and sweet mustache?

Years before R'as al Ghul tried it in JLA, Mr. Mxyzptlk tries taking away language--not just from the citizens of Metropolis, but himself as well! From 1975, Superman #290, "Babble, Babble, Toil and Trouble!" Story by Elliot S! Maggin, art by Curt Swan and Tex Blaisdell.

Invisibly eavesdropping on a Sunday school class, Mxyzptlk gets an idea from the bible: confusing the languages of everyone. (I wonder if anyone was offended that Mxy is cribbing from God here...) Superman, of course, understands all of earth's languages; but Mxy's magic changes them every few seconds, so he can't even say his own name, let alone backwards. Supes has to take a second to stop an armed robbery, where the language barrier had proven to be a problem, but notices now Mxyzptlk is costuming the people based on their languages! Or broad stereotypes thereof. Fed-up, Superman elects to simply ignore Mxy, but then passersby start greeting Mxy by random names, which frustrates him to the point he can't even remember his own name! Supes asks if Mxy dropped this business card, and reading his name backwards, he's back to the fifth dimension in record time.

Well, at least the production values were better than when R'as would try it. Costumes can go a long way.

I would love to see this mentioned in passing on Supergirl, like a radio announcement: "Traffic is backed up eastbound into Metropolis; looks like Mr. Mxyzptlk has animated all the billboards down there, and they're causing a ruckus." "Has it been 90 days already?" "Guess so." Read more!

Of course, Byrne came up with this, because he was already tired of typing 'Kltpzyxm.'

Even though I've never actually heard it, I still sing the "Big Belly Burger" jingle to my Youngest, usually while tickling his big belly. From The Adventures of Superman #441, "The Tiny Terror of Tinseltown!" In case you can't hold your monitor up to a mirror: Script and plot by John Byrne, pencils and plot by Jerry Ordway, inks by Dennis Janke. This was a Mr. Mxyzptlk issue, the second part of his second post-Crisis appearance.

Even though I'm not a huge fan of Mxy's, this is a high point for him. This would also be the first time he would diverge from the classic "make me say my name backwards" rule, into whatever terms he decided on the current visit.

This time, after Supes wraps up Mxy's Smurf knock-offs, Mxyzptlk tells Supes he'll go back to the fifth dimension, if Supes can get him to paint his face blue. As Mxy gets ready to go under the stage lights of a game show, he bypasses Superman's obvious trap, to fall victim to the real ruse: color-changing makeup, inspired by a similar device used in the play Finian's Rainbow. Well, duh. Everyone knows that...

Also this issue: subplots with Cat Whatsername (who has a conversation with her young son, who as much as calls her easy to her face), Lois working leads on a Lex Luthor story, the reboot circus mentalist Brainiac (man, did that seem like a misfire), a mysterious girl in a red-and-blue costume in Antarctica, a shadowy figure wrecking up a Lexcorp oil rig, and a cameo appearance from Streaky! At least five pages devoted to future story threads, which seems maybe a page or two on the excessive side; but I think it kept readers coming back, didn't it?

Plus ads for enduring classics like Manhunter! (The John Ostrander/Doug Rice version...well, I liked it.) Action Comics Weekly! (Um...) Aquaman: The Missing Peace! (Didn't even rate a full page? Harsh.) The Wanderers! (DC, just because you still have the Wanderers name, doesn't mean you're obligated to use it. Just a head's up.) And The Killing Joke! (That's more like it. Batman isn't even mentioned in the ad...) Well worth seventy-five cents!

Read more!

Honestly, if Superman was gay, it would've taken him longer to get out of this.

Concluding our Superman #349 coverage/mockery! Having pretty much dropped the ball, Wonder Warrior tries the magic lasso on Supes, but is knocked out before he can order him to quit it or anything. I'm pretty sure Wonder Woman wouldn't have gone down that quickly, but then again back then Superman would probably sooner eat his fist than slug her. Would the Comics Code even let Supes hit her? Well, anyway.

Supes heads back to Metropolis to call out the villain: Mxyzptlk. When Superman saw the roster of villains, he was the only one that was well, still a he. Also, Superwoman and Clara were separate people, because Mxyzptlk didn't know Clark Kent was Superman. Huh...really? 'Cause it seems like it would be really easy for him to stumble across it, like with the giant spy monitor he's using to watch Superman two pages later.

Mxyzptlk explains how his wedding went down, and how he had it annulled due to false pretenses; but that he didn't think it was fair that he lost the (fake) love of his life, while Superman still had Lois (who he still hadn't committed to). So, Mxy set up this trap world, where Superman would be stuck without Lois, and was going to ditch him there too.

However, Superman had brought Wonder Warrior's lasso, and catches Mxy with it before he can disappear. He then forces him to say "Kltpzyxm!" and the world returns to normal. Conveniently, time rolls back a bit as well, so Wonder Woman doesn't have to wake up in the Mojave Desert with a sore jaw and no lasso. Today.

The final bit is Clark, back at the Planet, running into Louis Lane. Lois explains he's her cousin. Sure, Lois. Nice cover. I don't judge you, honey.

So, even though I'm not a Mxyzptlk fan, the two issues of the regular Superman book I got in a year and half both had the little so-and-so. This was probably my last issue of either Superman or Action until Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow? and then Byrne's run, which was pretty much a Marvel Superman. (Relax, I was also reading a lot of digest reprints at the time, too.) I'm still more of a Marvel fan, but I rarely go too long without checking in on the big red S.

Read more!

Another true confession: How Mr. Mxylptk made me a Marvel fan

Mxylptk splash, originally uploaded by googum.

Yet another confession: I really am more of a Marvel fan at heart. Blame Star Wars. I started at issue #10--not a high water mark for the series, Marvel, or comics in general; it was honestly, the Magnificent Seven with Han Solo and Chewbacca fighting Godzilla. Can we blog about Star Wars comics, or would that be a legal quagmire? Because I love those comics more than the last three movies, and I always will. So there. Eventually, I got a subscription, which I had through the last issue, #107. Marvel's sub department offered me two bonus issues if I switched to a different book, and I wish I remembered what I picked. X-Men seems the obvious one, but I might've picked a bloody New Universe book. Arrgh.

Anyway, why am I admitting my Marvel bias, when we're talking Superman today? Because I think these issues may have made me a Marvel fan. This was Superman #335, "Mxyzptlk spelled backwards is T-R-O-U-B-L-E," written by Martin Pasko and art by Curt Swan and Frank Chiaramonte.

The splash page and the cover overlap a bit, setting up the riddle for the issue: in a reversal of character, Mxyzptlk wants to be sent back to the fifth dimension, and Superman wants him to stay. I'm not a big Mxyzptlk fan, honestly. I know some fans enjoy his antics, and that Superman can't just punch him out, he has to work out the puzzle. Yeah, but then Superman can rearrange continental plates to spell Mxyzptlk's name backwards. And everything is always back to normal in the end, because when Mxyzptlk gets sent back, all the effects of his magic go with him.

So, there were two kinds of Mxyzptlk stories: one where he was up front about his trickery; the other where something odd would occur, then Superman would have to figure out Mxyzptlk was behind it and outwit him. For example, there was a Legion of Super-Heroes story where Mask Man kills all the Legionaires except Superboy. Superboy finds out Mask Man was really a descendant of Mxyzptlk's, tricks him into saying his name backwards, and everything pops back to normal, all the Legionaires alive and well.

The closest comparison I can think of is Q from Star Trek, except Mxyzptlk doesn't teach anyone a goddamn thing. Ever.

This story opens on Valentine's Day, and Superman and Lois are spending it on the couch. There's a box of candy on the coffee table that looks like he picked it up at the convenience store on the way home. Yeah, I'm sure Lois wouldn't want diamonds, diamonds you could make yourself, you lazy jerk! Ahem. Actually, they are relaxing after wrapping up whatever happened last issue. Superman muses about what a great team they are, and how great it would be is they could get married, but of course they can't. Too dangerous.

Lois has heard this all before, and apppears to be tuning out a bit. Someone else blogged this panel (if it was you, let me know!) where Lois explains that "In the past three years alone, I've been kidnapped 17 times, shot at an average of twice a month, and been the victim of various other kinds of murder-attempts on no less than 38 separate occasions!" That's pretty exact, Lois. I mean, if I got shot at, it would stick in my mind; but for you it has to start to run together. Maybe the Planet has a big board for that, or her lawyer sends her a weekly update.

Superman says he's tried over and over to give Lois super-powers so she wouldn't be endangered. God, that's dickery. I was 8 when I got this issue, and I knew Lois was not getting powers. What then? Would Lois be a superhero too? Wouldn't that be dangerous? What he have to give powers to Jimmy and Perry and Batman and the neighbor kids and the postman...

Just admit you can't commit, ok?

Read more!

"?!" I think my first reaction would be "PFFFUCCK!!"

Chomp!, originally uploaded by googum.

Meanwhile, Mxyzptlk is getting his ass deported to the third dimension, for playing one too many practical jokes. The rub is, his wedding is tomorrow, to the lovely-in-a-Curt-Swan-munchkin-way Miss Bgbznz. Man, this has got to help my typing.

Superman is busy in his Fortress milking venom from a catfish-alligator looking creature from a red sun system, in yet another sentence that sounds horrible out of context. The creature also has powers on Earth, but apparently is content to sit in his cage instead of incinerating humans with reptile vision or whatever. Supes thinks he can use its venom to give a human super-powers. Then his earth monitor alarm goes off, scaring the creature, who bites Superman's hand, as Superman helpfully narrates. I would think someone who rarely ever feels any pain would be a little more immediately concerned. Hell, the kids, dog, and wife bite, poke, and pinch me all the damn time and I yell. Very stoic, Supes.

Superman rushes to the scene of a fire at the International Toymaker's Building, yet more proof that the DCU has it all over the real world. Archeitects, why isn't there a revolving restaurant in the shape of a top in every city of the globe? Because you have failed. Oh, and because it's apparently a huge fire hazard. Supes fuses four trucks worth of firehoses together, then uses the top as a "super-sprinkler!" which takes care of the roof, I guess. And the gears that turn the restaurant, and the stuff inside...I guess several million worth of property damage to extinguish a fire that would destroy the entire building is ok, but aren't there about two dozen other ways you could've put it out?

Read more!