If even Thunderbolt Ross admits "yeah, that was a bad decision," you KNOW it's bad.

During the Red Hulk/Thunderbolt Ross era of...Thunderbolts; there's an issue--#7--where the rest of the team--Deadpool, Elektra, the Flash Thompson Venom, and the Punisher--decide they've had enough and try to jump him. And get clobbered, just shellacked. And Ross even had a secret weapon in reserve, one that even worried him, as he discusses today with Flash: from 2013, Thunderbolts #13, written by Charles Soule, art by Phil Noto.

On this team's first mission, Mercy had slaughtered a band of armed rebels, effortlessly and somewhat thoughtlessly; and Flash finally confronts her on it. She tells him, he no longer interests her: maybe once, when he had lost his legs and wanted to die, but now that he had "this creature," the Venom symbiote...testing a theory, Mercy tears the symbiote off Flash. Although he wants it back, Mercy can see he no longer wanted to die, so swipe left, bored now. Taking the symbiote back, Flash stomps into Ross's office...is it weird that even as vigilantes, Ross still has a desk and files like he was still a general? Ross downplays Flash's accusations of him "keeping a monster," since hey, what was one more? But he was unaware, and mildly dismayed, to hear Mercy had taken out those rebels, even if they probably weren't good guys. The amount of control Ross had over the rest of his 'team' was largely contingent on if he, as the Red Hulk, could currently reach them; but that didn't work on Mercy; and he tells Flash her story, as much as he knew.

Mercy had fought the Hulk--"the other Hulk"--and lost, going into a dormant, coma-like state. (Ross describes it like she had lost a punch-up, like she was the Abomination or something; but I believe it was more that Mercy wasn't able to 'help' the Hulk by putting him out of his misery, and she didn't know how to deal with that.) The Army had tried to study her, but learned nothing, and basically walled her up and left her. Ross describes the Army as like a "hoarder," and says he himself hung on to stuff like that...just in case. He had taken a couple soldiers with him, but didn't know one had just been left by his wife, and was pretty wrecked by it: enough that Mercy could feel it, killing him, then disappearing. Much later, as the Red Hulk, Ross investigated a report from the Himalayas, of a strange temple, where travelers went not in search of wisdom or healing, but to die. Mercy had taken a Kali-like form, and was pretty happy with her set up: people that wanted to die came to her, she killed them. So, what's the problem? Ross was still mad over the loss of his soldier: he was depressed, sure, but he probably would've come out of it. He thinks he can stop her, but killing everyone that come there to die, Mercy picks up enough juice to launch the Red Hulk off of her mountain. It was a good hit, but he recovers, climbs back up, and causes an avalanche to crush her temple.

Appearing as a young woman with purple hair--fairly normal looking, not alien or distorted like she maybe did back in her early Hulk appearances--Mercy tells him, now she had to go back out into the world, probably killing all willy-nilly. Ross makes a judgement call, that he admits to Flash was not a great decision; offering her "all the death you need" with his Thunderbolts. Mercy agrees to stay...for as long as she was interested. Neither Ross nor Flash now, had any idea what to do with Mercy: they couldn't control her, the best they could do was maybe point her at targets that deserved to die. Although, if said targets didn't want to die, did Mercy have any power over them? I can see the creative team maybe wanting a player on the team that Ross couldn't just Red Hulk over, but Mercy was a wild card with vague rules. And there would apparently be some reveals for her later, that I think make even less sense? She seemed possibly alien in her first appearances, or perhaps a metaphysical manifestation like Death; later in this series she would be neither. And I think Ross might make more bad decisions regarding her then... Read more!

"Sword."

I could look it up--fine, I will! I guess I got Ghost and Luis in 2019: they're in the background of the annual group shot, but I don't think they've appeared in any strips since? Well, better late, I suppose. This isn't the same Ghost that was in Thunderbolts with Sat and Moonstone, but they treat her about like she was. Also, for little apparent reason, I thought both the comic Ghost and the movie one had the same sibilant speech pattern as Cobra Commander. Didn't go with that; maybe Moonstone was seeing her for speech therapy as well. 

The D'spayres are quiet this time around--are they planning something, or did I forget to give them dialogue? One of them was going to mouth off to Kurt, but might've got interrupted. Side note: I checked, and I could get another one almost immediately if it came down to it, but I don't think I want to pay full-price for another...yet. Maybe if there's a skyrocketing demand for Rintrah legs. 

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It was really nice the other afternoon, so I went for a little bike ride and picked up a couple books, including this one I maybe hadn't read before: from 2008, Moon Knight #23, "The Death of Marc Spector, chapter three" Written by Mike Benson, layouts by Javier Saltares, finishes by Mark Texeira.

This was after the death of Steve Rogers, with Norman Osborn currently the director of the Thunderbolts, and the book opens with him reading Moonstone the riot act since the team had thus far failed to bring in "this joke, this moon freak, this D-list of a punch line." (Moonstone is more compliant here than usual, but I'm not sure she even gets a word in edgewise; she might just be letting Norman rant himself out.) As usual, Norman will take care of things himself, and had a plan already, starting with a member of a gang called the Whyos: the gang member wore a Riddler-esque derby hat, to cover up the moon-shaped scar carved into his forehead. Meanwhile, Moon Knight was also dealing with a horrible boss; as Khonshu appears to him, to tell him they were done. Khonshu was still manifesting as the skinned-face Bushman, but here looks more like the suit-wearing Red Skull of the 90's; as he tells Marc he had "other clients." (We would see other disciples of Khonshu much later, but I'm not sure it came back up in Benson's run.)

The next day, the Whyos attack a trendy gay restaurant, with a few slurs and some Clockwork Orange-style ultraviolence. Frenchie's boyfriend, Rob, is badly beaten, before Frenchie gets there to tear into them and drive them off. Rob is hospitalized, and it is uncertain if he would make it: Marlene visits Frenchie, but after a suicide attempt, Frenchie reaches out to long-time informant Crawley for info on the Whyos, and attacks them with a baseball bat. This gets him shot a bit, but Moon Knight arrives to help out: Frenchie is pissed Crawley called him, but he'd have been sunk on his own. Moon Knight gives chase to the last Whyo, putting two crescent-darts in his legs; but the Whyo is seemingly unconcerned, as he has his own backup: Venom! (I think this would be the Mac Gargan Venom; he did not have a great track record there.) Weird, because Bullseye gets the cover; he was still an issue or two out.  Read more!

Speedball is one of like half a dozen characters at Marvel alone, that is basically teenage-era Spider-Man: off the top of my head, Nova, Darkhawk, Gravity, Ms. Marvel, probably the other Nova, arguably Thunderstrike even though he wasn't a teen, and, um, oh yeah, multiple other versions of Spidey. But it's weird to see Speedball against a Spidey foe and a DD one, even if it was in the middle of his 'dark' phase. From 2007, Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures #1, written by Paul Jenkins, art by Steve Lieber.

This was a one-shot concurrent with Warren Ellis's Thunderbolts run, as Norman Osborn gives a harsh post-mission critique to 'Penance,' and highlights a little toy of his: a device that could tap into any security camera in the world. He's showing off as he browbeats Robbie, who like most teenagers doesn't want to be there or involved in that conversation. Norman is starting to get irritated with the little goody-goody, but couldn't just have him killed: technically, Robbie was there of his own free will, his time on the Thunderbolts considered "rehabiliative therapy." But Norman has an idea, when he goes through the list of unregistered superhumans that need to be brought in; which involves the rarely-seen vigilante Americop. (Whose real name was Bart Gallows--a predecessor of Punisher 2099 Jake Gallows?)

Norman gives Bullseye a little "therapy" session, and his marching orders: he was going to be team leader, on the mission to bring in Americop. Even Bullseye thinks that's crazy, but Norman has it all planned out, and Bullseye was under at least some control with the nanites injected into him. The only downside: Bullseye of course was a known criminal murderer, so the government absolutely could not be seen working with him. That shouldn't be a problem, as Bullseye got a tricked-out semi-invisible motorcycle for the job, which he then uses to launch Penance at Americop! Who proves surprisingly durable, surviving their initial attack, throwing Penance around, and putting a "banshee" round in Bullseye's leg. With Norman keeping the rest of the T-Bolts "in reserve," Americop hunts Bullseye and Penance while saying stuff like "they were under cardiac arrest." Hilarious.

To save them both, Bullseye powers-up Penance...by punching him in the spine, a lot. Penance blows out Americop, then Bullseye pummels him some more, before Norman activates the nanobots to shock him down. In another post-mission briefing, Norman gloats he didn't think Penance would've willingly gone through that to amp up the power needed to take down Americop, but Penance disagrees. Namely, he didn't have to use all his power then...He blows up most of Norman's office, before smashing his camera-tapper, and a couple fingers. Norman later gives him the post-mission rating, "beginning to show potential." Which is...kind of more nuanced than I think Norman was capable of at the time? He was like, extra-crazy with sprinkles on top then. It was more like, his way, or a murdery tantrum; not a lot of middle ground.

Americop was a fourth-string nobody; but that was a secret strength of this era: taking obscure characters like that, and giving them a moment to be super-cool...probably before then getting super-murdered, but still. Also this issue: a two-page spread for the former Toy Biz/Marvel Toys Legendary Comic Book Heroes! Build a Pitt or Monkeyman! Ah, that takes me back. Read more!

I didn't read these when they came out, and I'm not really running them down now, but another random one from the quarter boxes: from 2007, Thunderbolts #113, "Faith in Monsters, part four" Written by Warren Ellis, art by Mike Deodato.

Hmm, we saw the next issue some time back, and this really feels like a slow burn--or writing for the trade a bit. The post-Civil War Thunderbolts were the government sponsored answer to superheroes and unsanctioned vigilantes, and today their boss, Norman Osborn, checks in on "Penance," the former Speedball, Robbie Baldwin. He had survived the disaster that set off the War, and had lost his team and seemingly his will to live. Osborn almost seems to be trying to reach him, although that's likely because he doesn't want a suicide on his watch. His next meeting is with the Swordsman, former half of Fenris, currently pitching a little fit since he was waiting for a clone of his dead sister. (I didn't think his identity was revealed that soon; I thought it was teased out longer: Penance too.) Osborn shuts that down, not taking any crap from Eurotrash. Moonstone is unexpectedly more understanding with Swordsman, and maybe even Osborn: "...he's on quite a lot of medication, you know."

Moonstone had arranged for Norman's meds to be either combined for adverse reactions, or outright placebos; and figured it was just a matter of time until he lost the reality knob. They might have to kill Songbird, though; to make sure Moonstone be put in charge, and thus be in place to keep Swordman's clone-sister project going. But short-term, the T-Bolts had a new mission: bring in Oliver Osnick, aka the Steel Spider. Who longtime readers might have remembered as the spectacular Spider-Kid! He had lost some weight and was pretty hardcore now; although he doesn't seem like he was going to be anywhere near a match for the team. Osborn wants the T-Bolts to go in broad daylight and kick the teeth out of Spider-Man on live TV...I mean, Steel Spider. A slip of the tongue, that Norman keeps making. Songbird briefly questions where Bullseye was; and is told he gets a separate briefing: he wasn't a T-Bolt, he was their "safety net." Meanwhile, in his apartment, watching the news about the unmasked Peter Parker, Oliver works on his arms, which seems to be the addition of a revolver. That seems a little low-end, but maybe it'll work out for him. (Nope!) Read more!

"Outreach."

I would have to look it up, but was M.A.C.H. 1 still M.A.C.H. 1? And I'm not typing the dots anymore; but I thought he upgraded a few times. I also thought the former Beetle had dated Songbird for a bit, but not an especially long time in the book? Like, shorter than that sort of thing usually runs, but it ended without them hating each other or anything. 

 I also think I'm going to keep harping on this, but the articulation for that Howard the Duck figure...man, it could be better. 

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Could've used this a month or two ago.

The cover makes it seem like it's going to be a very Moonstone issue; but there was a bunch of other stuff going down, too. From 2007, Thunderbolts #109, "Beyond Redemption" Written by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Tom Grummett, inks by Gary Erskine. (Weirdly, there was another Thunderbolts issue with the same title, from the same writer; #56 from 2001!)

This was the post-game for the Zemo vs. Grandmaster storyline, which left Zemo MIA and several Thunderbolts in bad shape. Songbird was trapped in the "archival records" of the shattered moonstone, fighting past users of the weapon, and forced to work with her long-time teammate/frenemy Moonstone to get them both out. "Frenemy" isn't quite right; they really don't like each other, as they confront each other and visions of Zemo and Hawkeye: they all were huge influences on each other, but maybe not in the best ways. The Radioactive Man also appears in this plotline, although he's more interested in saving Songbird, and seems to dislike Moonstone.

Original T-Bolts Abe "M.A.C.H. whatever" Jenkins and Erik "Atlas" Josten were on the way out: the M.A.C.H. suit had been trashed, leaving Abe powerless; while Erik had grown extra-huge to save the earth last time, and was stuck at that size and unconscious. Blizzard and Smuggler were also out, their respective suits also destroyed; while Speed Demon was injured in an earlier issue and might've run off, and Joystick was sent back to the Negative Zone prison for siding with Zemo. Fixer might have been offered a different government job, so the Thunderbolts appear to be down to Songbird, Moonstone, Radioactive Man, and Swordsman; in time for new writer Warren Ellis next issue. I've had a hard time reading Ellis the last few years, but can't recall if I dug his run on this book: Norman Osborn, Bullseye, and the Mac Gargan Venom were coming, for better or worse. Read more!

A random pickup with a variant cover, although an earlier chapter of this one is way better known: from 2019, Punisher #15 (#243), "War on the Streets, part four" Written by Matthew Rosenberg, art by Szymon Kuoranski.

Post-Secret Empire, even though Baron Zemo has like 400 soldiers (many disguised as United Nations troops) and his own Thunderbolts team, while he talks a big game, it feels like he knows he's boned, since the Punisher is coming. And somewhat surprisingly, Frank's not coming alone, as he grudgingly accepts the help largely organized by the Black Widow: Moon Knight, Night Thrasher, Ghost Rider, and Rachel Cole-Alves. (She was from the previous Punisher series--or maybe the one before it? Or before that? Marvel numbering is a nightmare.) Also, who has Ghost Rider's phone number? Or does he just show up for these things? I don't think anybody here had their own series right this minute...(At a glance, Moon Knight had an annual that same month!)

Somehow, Zemo still has Moonstone and Radioactive Man on his T-Bolts, even though Moonstone belittles him constantly, and I don't think Radioactive Man has any particular motivation to work with Zemo and/or get shot at by the Punisher. In the same vein, the Widow and Moon Knight both know Frank will inevitably go off-mission, which he does when he won't retreat from Zemo (as Citizen V) on a tank. Frank does gun down one particularly gung-ho masked type, that I think might've been the new Jigsaw? His kid or something? Ah, Frank doesn't care, neither do I.

Even though he would've been killed without his T-Bolts, Zemo still feels like they're raining on his day; so he catches Rachel to use to lure Frank into a final showdown alone. He really wants Frank dead, not for revenge or bloodlust, but just because god, Frank's a hassle. This run is probably best known for the Frank/Moon Knight "little bit" banter, but some good stuff in there. Read more!

Honestly, I'm not sure why they're yelling for his help, anyway.

The cover is a great one, and I think this series had a few in there; but it's the second of a three-parter, and the parts I recall were in the other two. It's also part of a crossover event I'm positive I've flipped through but am sure you could tell me anything was in it and I'd just have to trust you. From 2013, Thunderbolts #17, written by Charles Soule, art by Jefte Palo. Cover by Julian Totino Tedesco. 

The Thunderbolts at the time were a loose confederation, working under a system where they would take turns picking missions. When the Punisher gets to make a pick, he selects...some mobsters; which Deadpool calls the least surprising thing ever. But, Frank had picked the Paguro crime family, who were so behind the scenes he'd never been able to get at them. Unfortunately, the day of the mission coincides with Thanos's invasion of New York; but Frank isn't about to let a little thing like that hold them up. 

Red Leader was losing his intelligence, while Red Hulk is helping him not out of the kindness of his heart, but just to avoid losing a useful tool. Mercy had gone berserk, since the entire city maybe needed to be put out of its misery. Frank, Elektra, and Venom were murdering their way through the Paguros' goons; when they notice gas. While they don't know what it is, it's not hurting them, so they ignore it: Red Leader explains it's Terrigen Mist, and they also ignore it...even as it transforms some goons into Inhumans!

Meanwhile, having wandered off last issue, Deadpool is still looking for some pizza. Which he finally gets to, but the punchline has to wait until the next issue; and it's not bad. 

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Ooh, here's an optimistic one for a Monday morning...(dies of sarcasm)

I'm 70% sure I bought this because I thought it might be the last issue of the series; but I'm 100% sure I didn't pay the $6.25 sticker price on the bag. That seems optimistic...from 2017, Thunderbolts #11, "Return of the Masters, part two: Chance of a Lifetime" Written by Jim Zub, art by Jon Malin. 

This incarnation of Thunderbolts only lasted a year, and may have been quickly forgotten; which I don't think was necessarily these creators' fault. It featured most of the classic Thunderbolts lineup, plus Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier: Marvel seemed to be trying to figure out how to capitalize on his popularity from the movies, but with limited results, since this title started from Avengers Standoff: Welcome to Pleasant Hill and was building up to Secret Empire, with the heroes here having no way to stop it. 

(A moment for a pointless gripe: So this series, and I think most if not all of Captain America: Steve Rogers was all building up to Secret Empire, a total of like 31 issues. That feel like a bit long of a burn, and a bit spendy: I don't want to follow Hydra Cap for more than a couple issues, not over a year. If comics were still cheap, maybe it would be a bit more forgivable, but still seems way too long. Also, thematically it felt like the wrong time for it...) 

The T-Bolts had been guarding Kobik, a Cosmic Cube that had manifested a personality, that of a little girl. A gullible little girl, since she is manipulated by the Red Skull (because, admittedly, you can't argue he doesn't love the Cosmic Cube...) to retroactively turn Cap into a true believer of Hydra. In the previous issue, Helmut Zemo had attacked, critically injuring Bucky, but Kobik had offered to "fix everything" and Bucky hadn't had any choice. He then finds himself back in World War II, but with his current memories; and even better news, had already killed Heinrich Zemo! Bucky thinks that has to change the future: Cap won't get frozen, and neither would he, no Winter Soldier.

Bucky receives new orders to go on a recon mission, with Cap staying behind, under protest. Bucky investigates some unguarded Nazi trucks, but that's putting his head in the noose: it's full of Zemo's androids, who beat the tar out of him. He wakes up, chained to a plane like he and Cap had been in the old reality, by Zemo, this time Helmut. He knows the Nazis are all but finished, but "the future belongs to Hydra." Cap is there as well, to save Bucky, but not in the way he would hope: Steve argues with Zemo that Bucky is an asset, that they could use. Zemo says that went out the window when he killed Heinrich, but Steve tries to get Bucky to join them: "Say it. 'Hail Hydra.'"

Refusing, Bucky is launched on the drone fighter, blowing up a U.S. base in a fiery death...interrupted by a frustrated Kobik, yelling at him for messing it up: he was supposed to join Hydra, duh! Kobik thought she was letting him into her "secret club" with Hydra Cap, the Red Skull, and not-movie-version Erik Selvig, who had also been retroactively made a Hydra loyalist. Bucky still refuses, telling Kobik he had protected her, while she had ruined everything, and she screams... 

There's probably a reason, but if Kobik was able to retroactively turn Cap and Selvig, why couldn't she turn Bucky? Or everyone, for that matter? Maybe the Skull didn't want to risk altering the timeline too much. Or explaining that to a little girl would've been too much.

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We started in 2017, but last time I said we'd finish this storyline sometime, and I guess that's today! From 2012, Thunderbolts #165, "Golden Age Thunderbolts Part 3: The Fiery Death from Above!" Written by Jeff Parker, pencils by Kev Walker, inks by Terry Pallot.

In search of their missing Invaders teammate the Human Torch, Captain America and Namor are faced with a small army of knockoff Torches and are in bad shape. Luckily, they have back-up, "America's newest power squadron," the American Thunderbolts! Who are, of course, the escaped Thunderbolts from the future, trying to figure out what they could or couldn't do in the past: probably can't let Cap or Namor die, but they definitely can't let Baron Zemo get killed, either, as that would mess up the Thunderbolts' timeline more directly. With Namor pretty fried, Satana gets him back to Thunderbolts Tower, to fix him with a somewhat risque-looking spell; while the rest of the heroes try to stop the Torch-clones.

Centurius realizes that while Zemo was able to make the clones, he doesn't understand their cell structure yet, and can't be allowed to escape with any samples. With his lab under siege, Zemo is ordered by the Red Skull (accompanied by a sultry blonde!) to evacuate. Cap wonders if the "American Thunderbolts" aren't a little bloodthirsty, as they kill off the Torch-clones; while Fixer and Centurius rescue and repair the original Torch. Zemo takes off in an escape rocket, but is unable to outrun Moonstone, who takes away the Torch-samples, and leaves him with a warning: have a son, but "don't fill his head with all this Nazi crap."

The Invaders are reunited, but with bombers incoming, the Thunderbolts fall back to their tower, and attempt another time-jump; after Moonstone sneaks in a quick kiss goodbye with Cap. The bombs cover their departure; as Cap mourns the loss of some brave heroes. Look, he was pretty young; I don't think he was a good judge of character yet. I'm also not sure if this retconned the Nazi out of Helmut Zemo either. Read more!