A random pickup with a variant cover, although an earlier chapter of this one is way better known: from 2019, Punisher #15 (#243), "War on the Streets, part four" Written by Matthew Rosenberg, art by Szymon Kuoranski.

Post-Secret Empire, even though Baron Zemo has like 400 soldiers (many disguised as United Nations troops) and his own Thunderbolts team, while he talks a big game, it feels like he knows he's boned, since the Punisher is coming. And somewhat surprisingly, Frank's not coming alone, as he grudgingly accepts the help largely organized by the Black Widow: Moon Knight, Night Thrasher, Ghost Rider, and Rachel Cole-Alves. (She was from the previous Punisher series--or maybe the one before it? Or before that? Marvel numbering is a nightmare.) Also, who has Ghost Rider's phone number? Or does he just show up for these things? I don't think anybody here had their own series right this minute...(At a glance, Moon Knight had an annual that same month!)

Somehow, Zemo still has Moonstone and Radioactive Man on his T-Bolts, even though Moonstone belittles him constantly, and I don't think Radioactive Man has any particular motivation to work with Zemo and/or get shot at by the Punisher. In the same vein, the Widow and Moon Knight both know Frank will inevitably go off-mission, which he does when he won't retreat from Zemo (as Citizen V) on a tank. Frank does gun down one particularly gung-ho masked type, that I think might've been the new Jigsaw? His kid or something? Ah, Frank doesn't care, neither do I.

Even though he would've been killed without his T-Bolts, Zemo still feels like they're raining on his day; so he catches Rachel to use to lure Frank into a final showdown alone. He really wants Frank dead, not for revenge or bloodlust, but just because god, Frank's a hassle. This run is probably best known for the Frank/Moon Knight "little bit" banter, but some good stuff in there. Read more!

Ooh, here's an optimistic one for a Monday morning...(dies of sarcasm)

I'm 70% sure I bought this because I thought it might be the last issue of the series; but I'm 100% sure I didn't pay the $6.25 sticker price on the bag. That seems optimistic...from 2017, Thunderbolts #11, "Return of the Masters, part two: Chance of a Lifetime" Written by Jim Zub, art by Jon Malin. 

This incarnation of Thunderbolts only lasted a year, and may have been quickly forgotten; which I don't think was necessarily these creators' fault. It featured most of the classic Thunderbolts lineup, plus Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier: Marvel seemed to be trying to figure out how to capitalize on his popularity from the movies, but with limited results, since this title started from Avengers Standoff: Welcome to Pleasant Hill and was building up to Secret Empire, with the heroes here having no way to stop it. 

(A moment for a pointless gripe: So this series, and I think most if not all of Captain America: Steve Rogers was all building up to Secret Empire, a total of like 31 issues. That feel like a bit long of a burn, and a bit spendy: I don't want to follow Hydra Cap for more than a couple issues, not over a year. If comics were still cheap, maybe it would be a bit more forgivable, but still seems way too long. Also, thematically it felt like the wrong time for it...) 

The T-Bolts had been guarding Kobik, a Cosmic Cube that had manifested a personality, that of a little girl. A gullible little girl, since she is manipulated by the Red Skull (because, admittedly, you can't argue he doesn't love the Cosmic Cube...) to retroactively turn Cap into a true believer of Hydra. In the previous issue, Helmut Zemo had attacked, critically injuring Bucky, but Kobik had offered to "fix everything" and Bucky hadn't had any choice. He then finds himself back in World War II, but with his current memories; and even better news, had already killed Heinrich Zemo! Bucky thinks that has to change the future: Cap won't get frozen, and neither would he, no Winter Soldier.

Bucky receives new orders to go on a recon mission, with Cap staying behind, under protest. Bucky investigates some unguarded Nazi trucks, but that's putting his head in the noose: it's full of Zemo's androids, who beat the tar out of him. He wakes up, chained to a plane like he and Cap had been in the old reality, by Zemo, this time Helmut. He knows the Nazis are all but finished, but "the future belongs to Hydra." Cap is there as well, to save Bucky, but not in the way he would hope: Steve argues with Zemo that Bucky is an asset, that they could use. Zemo says that went out the window when he killed Heinrich, but Steve tries to get Bucky to join them: "Say it. 'Hail Hydra.'"

Refusing, Bucky is launched on the drone fighter, blowing up a U.S. base in a fiery death...interrupted by a frustrated Kobik, yelling at him for messing it up: he was supposed to join Hydra, duh! Kobik thought she was letting him into her "secret club" with Hydra Cap, the Red Skull, and not-movie-version Erik Selvig, who had also been retroactively made a Hydra loyalist. Bucky still refuses, telling Kobik he had protected her, while she had ruined everything, and she screams... 

There's probably a reason, but if Kobik was able to retroactively turn Cap and Selvig, why couldn't she turn Bucky? Or everyone, for that matter? Maybe the Skull didn't want to risk altering the timeline too much. Or explaining that to a little girl would've been too much.

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Largely refusing to draw your main character, seems like a baller way to say "this costume blows."

I'm absolutely not blaming the creative team, but if this issue was missing the cover or you flipped to the middle; you might have a hard time identifying the title. From 2019, the Punisher #11, "War in Bagalia, part six" Written by Matthew Rosenberg, art by Szymon Kudranski, colot by Antonio Fabela.

Like the title says, this issue is in Bagalia...a name I don't recognize at all; but it's controlled by Baron Zemo and Hydra. Per the recap, Jigsaw had been sent to stop Frank; failing that he had taken Frank's ally Sister Mercy hostage, and a motorcycle chase ensued. Frank chews up Jigsaw's men, who do seem impressed with his motorcycle skills, and Jigsaw is forced to leave Sister Mercy's corpse to stall him. In the middle of a reception to push for diplomatic legitimacy, Zemo is less than thrilled to have to take a call from Jigsaw:

I never saw Z. curse out the Thunderbolts, and they turned on him! Disobeying orders, Jigsaw decides to make for Zemo's "precious tower," even though he sees Zemo's copter leaving--because Zemo blows it up! It's a massive explosion and Frank and Jigsaw are maybe twenty yards away? Ah, they're fine; but their shootout is delayed when Jigsaw points out Zemo is getting away. Zemo makes an announcement that the Punisher "set off a bomb," and the citizens should evacuate the city but also kill Frank if they see him. Frank gets to the airfield in time to jump on Zemo's plane: although the pilot thinks it's nothing, Zemo knows what's up, shoots the doubting pilot, and orders Hydra Air Control to shoot down his own plane! You'd think they would jump at that order.

Zemo bails out, leaving Frank to take the dead pilot's seat and parachute out himself. But the rescue copters are there for Zemo; the Punisher couldn't have possibly survived...A Hydra rescuer mentions sending a crew to check later, which is just as good as giving Frank a ride home. Send the depth charges if you want to be sure. (I hadn't planned on two with rescue copters in the same week!)

I don't know if this was a choice, but Frank is hardly seen this issue; and when he is? He's got a shaved head and his shirt is a small Punisher skull over a Hydra logo, for Secret Empire. I'm guessing they didn't sell a lot of those shirts; even though Twitter is full of dicks gagging for fascist Punisher. I think Rosenberg would do better later; but I can't blame him for not getting that silk purse from Secret Empire's sow's ear.
EDIT: I may have been wrong on the continuity; this may have been more after Secret Empire than I had thought. Read more!

I'm not used to the Grandmaster's games going longer than two, three issues...

This one's in extra innings: from 2006, Thunderbolts #106, "Power Hungry" Written by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Tom Grummett, inks by Gary Erskine.

Instead of the Avengers or Death, today the Grandmaster is challenging Baron Helmut Zemo, for control of a power source called the Universal Wellspring. Whoever wins could use said Wellspring to create an army of super-powered pawns (it's unclear if control was somehow conferred as well...) so the United States government actually gives Zemo a team: his Thunderbolts! This story was set post-Civil War, when bad ideas were the order of the day. Meanwhile, Grandmaster has gone back to an old fave: the Squadron Sinister!

In typical Thunderbolts tradition, both teams are full of traitors: Spidey villain Joystick was working with the Grandmaster, while Kyle "Nighthawk" Richmond was unwillingly reunited with the Squadron. He may have thought Grandmaster the lesser of two evils, and both Songbird and Radioactive Man may have agreed: could Zemo be dealt with if he won? Speed Demon is out with two broken legs, but still leaks the last Wellspring location to M.A.C.H. IV, reasoning better Zemo than an alien get it.

For his part, Zemo may not even be sure what will happen if either he or the Grandmaster get the Wellspring: he had been sniffing paint communing with alien gemstones, and that either way, the "Guardian Protocols" could be enacted. Guardian Protocols?

The weird thing is, this issue predates (by two years or so) the modern Guardians of the Galaxy set in the present day; and recently we've seen the Guardians of a thousand years ago. This team could be from even further back, although I don't recognize the skull-face in the bottom left by the word balloons. I kinda like the Kree barbarian-woman with the skull helmet, though.

On the other hand, anything Zemo says is at least doubly suspect: he was a renowned liar, and any intel you get by "communing" with anything should be double-checked. Moreover, while the Guardian Protocols sound reasonable, wouldn't they have been enacted like five hundred times prior in Marvel continuity?

The T-Bolts pile on the Squadron Sinister, and Zemo seemingly kills the Grandmaster. He also knew Joystick was a traitor, but she still manages to disrupt the Wellspring, blowing up the entire castle! I had thought this would be the penultimate chapter of this fight, but it still had a couple issues to go. Once again, time to keep an eye out.

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"Ugly Turn."

Even with his sword drawn, I don't like Zemo's odds against the Black Widow. Crossbones, though...Cross is bad news. Coincidentally, he just showed up in Amazing X-Men, one of several bad guys gunning for the Crimson Gem of Cytorrak. ("Who Wants to be the Juggernaut?" might've been a better title for that arc...) He's a villain I like in that he has very few redeeming features: no heel-face turn coming for him, then.
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"Filing."

I had that Zemo figure for some time before he ended up in any strips, so I'm not sure why the upswing now. But the Satana/Black Cat plot line may run a few more episodes.
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"Undrafted."

I know I have a Thunderbolts annual, special, negative-one issue; where the machinations of Zemo setting up the subterfuge of the team was explained: how he decided on the members, their disguises, and so on. I don't think the Radioactive Man was on Zemo's shortlist of potential members, partly because he wouldn't be as easily controlled as some of the other members; and partly because as he mentions, a big green radioactive man is tough to disguise.
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We all know there's still lots of characters that I would love to see get a Marvel Legends figure--Quasar, Nighthawk, Jack of Hearts, off the top of my head. But then there are many who I'm not necessarily as fond of, but would look great as figures. Even though I'm not a big fan of the Eternals, I always thought Ikaris would be a distinctive figure. Ditto longtime reserve Avenger Stingray. And what the heck, how about this version of the Scourge, from Thunderbolts #39, "Black Hearts" Written by Fabian Nicieza, pencils by Mark Bagley, inks by Scott Hanna.

Nicieza was the T-Bolts' second writer, after series creator Kurt Busiek, and I think he did a pretty good job of continuing the book's themes: the former villains' quest for redemption (or not, in some cases) and surprises. This issue, Baron Helmut Zemo (former leader of the Thunderbolts, as Citizen V) is attacked in his castle by the mysterious Scourge. The reader is privy to narration from Zemo and Scourge, and while Scourge's doesn't reveal his identity; Zemo's shows the character realizing he's at a crossroads.

Thunderbolts had a tradition of masked figures leading to dramatic reveals--the previous issue revealed the current Citizen V, for example; but readers would have to wait a few more to find Scourge's identity. This issue gives a hint that is both perfectly valid and a red herring: in Zemo's throne room, Scourge is obviously enraged by the display of Bucky's tattered costume. As Zemo realizes Scourge's gimmick of using weapons from deceased super-villains, Scourge defeats and seemingly kills Zemo, with a replica of Captain America's shield. And a big, honking sword.

I'm not sure if this fits entirely with current continuity: towards the end of World War II, the original Baron Zemo launched the rocket that Captain America and Bucky tried to stop, leading to Cap being frozen and Bucky's death. (Until the Winter Soldier story...) The way the costume is displayed, it's strongly implied it's from Bucky's corpse; but I suppose if that had been the case, Zemo would've had his corpse in there too.

Icing on the cake: this was a good issue, but it also was one of Marvel's 100-Page Monsters, with reprints of "the criminal career of Hawkeye!" and Luke Cage versus Erik Josten (aka Goliath, or Atlas) for the name Power Man.
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An old Cap post, from 2007:

Wait, Mark Waid screwed up the continuity? That's like the Pope dicking up mass, or whatever.

From Captain America, Sentinel of Liberty #12, "Brothers in Arms" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Dougie Braithwaite and Anthony Williams, inks by Dan Green and Scott Koblish.

For the last issue of Cap's spin-off anthology, then-current Captain America writer Mark Waid delivered a different, more updated look at the origin of Cap's first partner, Bucky. It's a pretty definitive take on the character, at least until Ed Brubaker's retroactive upgrade/revival of Bucky into "orphan trained by Green Berets to do things that symbol of liberty Cap can't."

(Incidentally, when Bucky's return was first coming out, did anyone think it was going to work? Like even a little? At the very least, I was expecting fakeout, and at worst a longbox full of suck. Brubaker totally made it work, and a round of applause for him, the art crews, and the editorial staff for not laughing him out on his ass for saying 'I wanna bring back Bucky!' And somewhere, Jason Todd/Red Hood should be crying into a pillow...heh, his stupid mask is probably watertight, so I'd love to see that.)

Previously, you could probably be forgiven if your initial impression of Bucky was 'like Captain America's Robin, only less useful.' I always wondered how come Cap gets a shield, while Bucky's out there in the battlefields of World War II with a brightly colored yet non-representational costume and not much else. Other writers, and apparently Bucky himself wondered the same thing, and now you see him packing heat all the time. I don't know if he did in the wartime stories, but I don't remember seeing him with a gun in say, the Lee/Kirby issues, although I admit he might've.

Waid does some nice character work for Bucky, but, and this may be harsh, it's easy when all anyone knows about him is that he died. And Cap screams his name, like a lot. The young James Buchanan Barnes' father was killed in a training incident, and Waid expands on that little nugget of continuity: he died demonstrating parachute techniques, while his son watched, which is probably why 'take your kid to work day' still hasn't caught on with the armed services. Bucky picked up a fear of heights from the incident, which should be exactly the sort of thing that makes a person, oh, not jump onto a moving drone plane full of explosives. Well, that's what makes Bucky a hero, or at least a shining example of America's never-say-die, never-think-things-through attitude. (Or is that Springfield? Eh, same difference.)

Becoming a 'mascot,' or more-or-less ward of the Army, young Bucky, needing to feel useful, worked his way into a position as the camp 'go-to guy.' Or black marketeer. Whatever. After stumbling into Cap's secret identity, Bucky blackmails him to get a job as sidekick, Bucky enjoys the work and is shiftier, more crafty then Cap; which helps to differentiate him from other kid sidekicks and give him something to do in-story that Cap couldn't. But, when asked by Cap how it felt to do a good deed, he says it feels "like I didn't get all my change. What am I, a maroon? I'm not leaving without something."


Hmm. I'm suddenly suspicious Waid stole this from Superman II. I don't know enough about the army, wartime rules, or war profiteering to say if this is on the up-and-up or not. It's not like Bucky stole his watch or anything...


Also, and maybe this editorial edict has been reversed, but for a couple of years there, were swastikas and Nazi-whatnot verboten over at Marvel? Look, it's not like they were presented in a flattering light, as nine times out of ten it was mid-beatdown from Cap. (The tenth time, the Red Skull swearing vengeance.)

Bucky proves himself as a hero time and again, although I suspect from this story, had he survived and been left to his own devices, he would've ended up more like Booster Gold than Captain America. He would have wanted the fame, the glory, and then the money and the women, all of which leads to Bucky becoming a sellout and probably going out like Elvis by the 70's, which means maybe the metal arm and Soviet brainwashing weren't such a bad deal after all.

(I wish I still drew even a little, because I can picture a bloated, 70's-mustached Bucky, still in costume and domino mask, passed out drunk or dead on a giant round bed full of hookers and blow...and there go my chances of professional comics writing. Meh. Still, it would be a good What If?, a reversal of It's a Wonderful Life, where Cap sees Bucky survive the war only to slander his good name, abuse power, drugs, and himself; maybe even sell state secrets or take dives for payoffs. Kind of like that What If? where Spidey saves Gwen and then everything sucks, except decent. And yeah, I do need to finish reading Brat Pack...)

However, Mark Waid makes a big drop at the end of this story: after getting knocked unconscious by Baron Zemo, Cap and Bucky wake up tied to the drone plane; changed out of their costumes and into ordinary army uniforms. Why? Ostensibly as revenge for the bag-glued-to-his-head thing, so Cap and Bucky would die as "ciphers, unmourned and forgotten." A pretty grim assessment of our troops there, Zemo. Why did he have U.S. army uniforms lying around anyway? Dressing them up in Nazi uniforms would probably made more sense, and caused them more suffering. And looked horrible later. The real reason, though, is because in Avengers #4, when Cap's found in the block of ice, he's wearing the remnants of an Army uniform.

Over his Cap outfit, and his shield on his chest.

In Waid's version, without his shield, Cap goes after Bucky to stop the drone plane. And although the story ends with the last instant of Bucky's life (pre-Brubaker) frozen in time, the drone plane would explode, and Cap would be dumped into the ocean and frozen. Minus his shield, and without his brightly colored costume, which showed poking through the tattered army uniform, I doubt the Eskimos would've fished him out and started worshipping him. Or that the Avengers would've stopped chasing the Sub-Mariner, in order to pull Cap into the sub.

(with Captain America uniform)
IRON MAN: There's a man outside, in a brightly colored costume!
GIANT-MAN: Let's bring it in!
THOR: Aye, verily!

(without Cap uniform)
IRON MAN: There's a man outside, in a soldier's uniform. Huh.
WASP: Gross! Don't bring a corpse in here! This sub smells like an oil can full of sweat already!
THOR: Forsooth, by Odin's troth!

Admittedly, Cap's revival has been ret-conned quite a bit, too: I tried re-reading 'Ice' a while back, and the Jae Lee art is pretty but the story doesn't make a lick of sense. And despite what you may occasionally see elsewhere...like the *cough* sidebar...Cap was frozen with his mask off. (I knew I should'a bought that Faceoff two pack!) Also, not unlike other seminal events like Batman's parents getting shot, Bucky's death has been shown and re shown, from multiple angles, and any discrepancies could be written off to viewer error. After all, after getting thrown off a plane and frozen for...however many years he was frozen now, I can see how Cap's recollection might vary. In fact, a little later we'll look at how Cap doesn't remember much about WWII, except that Bucky blew up and he's sad.

Regardless, Waid screwed up, although I bet he noticed eventually, but I don't know if it was ever pointed out or brought up. To drop another Simpsons reference, I feel like Milhouse protesting to Bart that Santa's Little Helper did eat his fish: "You tried to say I never had a goldfish, but then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?"

Man, feeling like Milhouse is never a good sign. Let's just say this was a good Bucky story, and maybe even set up him as being able to do things Cap, as a big patriotic symbol, couldn't...like steal Nazi uniforms, knife a sentry in the back, blow up a sub...

Waid's story also makes a little more sense as far as the drone plane: supposedly, Zemo was going to send the stolen drone plane sent back to Hitler (apparently directly to Hitler, based on all the accounts I remember) where it would be reverse-engineered so Nazi Germany could produce enough drones to bomb England and America. A pretty optimistic plan, since I'm don't think they would've been able to produce enough planes or bombs at that point in the war; but I've never played Axis & Allies, so what do I know?

The drone was launched from an English airfield, supposedly towards Germany, yet Cap ends up dumped in the North Atlantic, which doesn't seem quite right, but I'm not going to Mapquest it right now either. Say either it launched over the ocean and blew up before turning back, or that Cap and Bucky knocked it off course. But the bomb on the drone also varies: sometimes it's internal, like a part of the drone's engine, and sometimes it's a big lump of dynamite Bucky finds right before it goes off.

Killing Cap and Bucky would not only be a feather in Zemo's sack, but it would also be a huge propaganda victory for the Nazis. Hitler would probably want to publicize, if not desecrate the corpses; but it wouldn't work if they were dressed as garden-variety G.I.'s. Sending Cap's shield back only makes sense if the Germans planned on reverse-engineering the metal; but since Zemo's their best scientist, it makes more sense for him to keep it; but then Cap wouldn't have it in Avengers #4.

There's probably more, but I'd have to really dig for it now. I may or may not be out for the rest of the week, so have fun, and keep your sidekick in check, for god's sake...


Hell, before I forget: the Captain America and Avengers panels, the first is from Avengers #4, "Captain America joins the Avengers!" Written by Stan Lee, art by Jack Kirby. And it's damn expensive, so I just have it reprinted in Avengers Masterworks. The second is from Captain America #251, "The Mercenary and the Madman!" Written by Roger Stern, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Joe Rubinstein. Scanning out of a big thick trade is a pain, but Captain America: War & Remembrance is very much the first Cap trade you should buy. Or a Mark Waid one.

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Hey Zemo? You kiss your mom with that mouth? Well, I do!

From Captain America: The Medusa Effect #1, written by Roy Thomas, pencils by Rich Buckler and M.C. Wyman, inks by Jim Sanders III and Andrew Pepoy.

That's Captain America, in World War II, kissing Baron Heinrich Zemo's wife. She's the mom of the current Baron Zemo, Helmut, of former Thunderbolts fame. It's too bad Cap is too polite, or not mouthy enough, to rub either Zemo's face in it every single fight from then on. Although, it's probably in poor taste to remind the elder Zemo he can't kiss his wife with a bag on his head...

Getting burned by Captain America is probably like your dad getting a good crack in at your expense: it doesn't happen very often, and when it does, it stings something fierce. I wish Cap was a little mouthier, though, because it would be no end of fun to have Cap completely dog Zemo Senior or Junior every time they show up with the Masters of Evil or make a veiled comment about Bucky.

Of course, again, there's every possibility Cap barely remembers this, either; and not just because he kissed a lotta frauleins in the Big One. (Although, I guess he didn't...) Tomorrow, more World War II shenanigans that 'slipped his mind.' Read more!

Why does Zemo keep trying this?


I have to admit that this is probably something I remember as happening more often than it ever actually did; but every once in a while, usually in mid-90's issues of What If?, if the writer wanted a shocking demise, there would be a scene where Captain America is killed by his own shield. It's one of those oh-so-clever moments that aims for irony and lands dead on stupid. (I have to admit though, having the top of Cap/pseudo-Cap's head lopped off by shield in Marvel Zombies was kind of funny.)

Zemo must have read the same comics. We've already seen him try this before, and the results were such that you'd think he would think twice before trying it again. Then again, I guess if your face was pretty much burned off, you probably figure that's the worst that could happen, and the next try has to go better.

I have to apologize, as I think I'm probably going to be dogging it a bit this week. Home stuff. Still going for daily posts, but the quality and quantity of nonsense may vary.

From Avengers #277, "The Price of Victory!" Written by Roger Stern, breakdowns by John Buscema, finishes by Tom Palmer. Read more!

Well, Germany's most hated after Hitler, Mengele, the Red Skull, Baron Strucker, the Iron Major...

Thanks again to Jeff for the link to the old record for this issue, an audio adaptation of Captain America and the Falcon #168, "...And a Phoenix Shall Arise!" Written by Roy Thomas and Tony Isabella, art by Sal Buscema, inks by Tartag and Roussos. Oddly, and I could very well be wrong about this but don't have the time to look it up right now, but I'm not sure this has ever been reprinted.

The story opens with Cap and the Falcon on nighttime patrol, and even the narration has to admit, "No less than a baker's dozen of their most harrowing adventures must have begun in just this way..." Cap's on his man-out-of-time bit yet again, a plot point even Stan Lee got tired of. Luckily, our villain obligingly attacks before Cap can eat up more pages on that. The Phoenix (a few years before Jean Grey took up the name!) opens fire with his snazzy death-ray, and gives a standard villain rant about getting his vengeance. Only Cap and Falc have never seen this guy before.

Since Phoenix seems only concerned with killing Cap, Falcon's able to get a shot in, but Phoenix doesn't go down easy. He would've finished Falcon off, except his death-ray ran out of juice, so he escapes, promising a rematch "Perhaps tomorrow!" Now it's Falcon's turn for moping, that he's not pulling his weight as a sidekick. I dunno, Sam: attracting enemy gunfire, check. Getting beat up and endangered, check. Making the hero feel worthwhile by needing his help, double-check. Sounds like an A+ sidekick there.

Cap and Falc are convinced Phoenix is someone they've previously fought, or know somehow. Not Ditko fans, I guess. Cap muses that he had "more arch-enemies than most people have relatives!" then goes through three and stops: the Red Skull, the very dead Baron Zemo, and Solarr. I can see why they'd want to introduce a new villain, because Cap's rouge gallery is looking a little thin here. The next night, Cap meets up with Falcon, then gives him the brush-off, saying he hasn't been any help.

Cap searches the city for the Phoenix, and finally comes across a guy running like hell, after an attack from "some costumed nut." Cap has the victim point him to his attacker, the Phoenix. Cap smashes him, quite literally: sound effect, SMASH! And the Phoenix was a robot decoy. The 'victim' actually was the Phoenix--unmasked, Cap didn't recognize him--and the decoy was full of gas. Man, I totally want a decoy now.

Scene change to Phoenix and his evil warehouse hideout, where he has Cap chained to a table over a vat of boiling Adhesive X. Guh, what a crappy brand name. I mean, it's not like Xerox or Post-it, is it? Maybe something like Stuck-oh or Burnyglue or Thatsnotf***ingoinanywhere. Look, I'm not in advertising, but Adhesive X isn't great. Still, Cap recognizes it as Baron Zemo's invention, but Phoenix is too young to be him. He's his son, Helmut, although he doesn't get a first name this appearance.

Also, since on the sliding scale of Marvel Time, Cap wasn't revived in 1963 but probably more like ten years ago. Which then means Helmut's either pretty old--as in, born before WWII, if he remembers his dad Heinrich getting his mask glued to his head; or he could very well have some technological means of slowing his aging. I suppose Helmut could've been born later, but that would involve Heinrich fathering him with a bag glued to his face...

Phoenix tells Cap about how great his dad was, like the bestest Nazi scientist ever! The elder Baron Zemo had invented a hand-held laser weapon in the 40's, and the aforementioned Adhesive X, a glue that "once applied, nothing could remove it!" While that sounds silly, I suppose if you had a glue so strong you could build tanks using it, that would be something. Something hideously unsafe, yeah, but something.

Since American newspapers called the laser a 'death-ray,' Phoenix notes that 'propaganda' made his father "the most hated man in Germany!" (Yeah, ok, we know you're proud of your dad, but that's just not true.) Zemo had taken to wearing a mask, although I'm not exactly sure how that was going to help. Even in the Marvel U. during WWII, there weren't that many masked Nazis. Couple dozen, tops. The mask pretty much just singled him out for Cap's attention, who ends up smashing a tank of Adhesive X over Zemo, who ends up with his mask glued to his head forever. (From an old Marvel Handbook, I believe Zemo had to be fed intravenously for the rest of his life.) Lashing out at his family, the Baron soon disappeared, and his wife died shortly thereafter, leaving Helmut alone.

Now the continuity is a little dicey here: Phoenix makes a living on his scientific knowledge, until he sees the headlines of Cap's return. Returning to Castle Zemo, he recreates his father's death-ray and Adhesive X. But, the original Baron Zemo was killed shortly after Cap's return, and Phoenix had already been working on his revenge. Busiek would straighten this out a bit in Thunderbolts, as I would've thought they would try to get in touch to get revenge together. Cue "Cat's in the Cradle." Or don't.

Either way, Zemo is about to dump Cap into the Adhesive X, when Falcon and Redwing smash through the skylight that all warehouses have. Sam totally knew Cap was just trying to get him out of harm's way, but with his bird running interference, Falcon's beating Phoenix pretty handily. In fact, the beating is getting so bad, Cap feels bad for the "misguided fool still fighting World War II!" He manages to get loose, and stops the Falcon from further thrashing Zemo.

Phoenix takes this opportunity to try to kill them both with Cap's own shield. I applaud thinking big, but I have no idea how the hell he thought that was going to work. It would be like trying to stop two people by throwing a manhole cover at them: you might get lucky and get one, but even that's pushing it. And he manages to miss Cap and Falcon both, and boomerang it back into himself. Again, no idea: Cap's shield doesn't naturally return or rebound, Cap has to bounce it off things or put a helluva lot of spin on it. But, Zemo goes into the tank of Adhesive X.

Cap starts to try to save Phoenix, but Falcon, quite rightly, stops him. Not a lot of superheroes are going to be able to dive into a boiling vat of unbreakable glue to save a Nazi, but that may be just as well. Cap mopes that, "the big war just claimed another victim," and that his revival also brought back "a whole generation's hatreds--hatreds that should've been left frozen a quarter of a century ago!" Cheer up, Cap: we've got a whole ton of new hatreds now!

This is about as objective as I could be on this comic: thanks to listening to that record so many times, I love it to this day. Probably 15 years after last hearing it, I bought the comic at Red Iguana Comics in Missoula, MT, for a dollar. And today I was able to read it and listen to it at the same time, for the first time. A pretty good day.

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That's like the 27th Ultimate Frisbee fatality this year.

Phoenix tells Cap about how great his dad was, like the bestest Nazi scientist ever! The elder Baron Zemo had invented a hand-held laser weapon in the 40's, and the aforementioned Adhesive X, a glue that "once applied, nothing could remove it!" While that sounds silly, I suppose if you had a glue so strong you could build tanks using it, that would be something. Something hideously unsafe, yeah, but something.

Since American newspapers called the laser a 'death-ray,' Phoenix notes that 'propaganda' made his father "the most hated man in Germany!" (Yeah, ok, we know you're proud of your dad, but that's just not true.) Zemo had taken to wearing a mask, although I'm not exactly sure how that was going to help. Even in the Marvel U. during WWII, there weren't that many masked Nazis. Couple dozen, tops. The mask pretty much just singled him out for Cap's attention, who ends up smashing a tank of Adhesive X over Zemo, who ends up with his mask glued to his head forever. (From an old Marvel Handbook, I believe Zemo had to be fed intravenously for the rest of his life.) Lashing out at his family, the Baron soon disappeared, and his wife died shortly thereafter, leaving Helmut alone.

Now the continuity is a little dicey here: Phoenix makes a living on his scientific knowledge, until he sees the headlines of Cap's return. Returning to Castle Zemo, he recreates his father's death-ray and Adhesive X. But, the original Baron Zemo was killed shortly after Cap's return, and Phoenix had already been working on his revenge. Busiek would straighten this out a bit in Thunderbolts, as I would've thought they would try to get in touch to get revenge together. Cue "Cat's in the Cradle." Or don't.

Either way, Zemo is about to dump Cap into the Adhesive X, when Falcon and Redwing smash through the skylight that all warehouses have. Sam totally knew Cap was just trying to get him out of harm's way, but with his bird running interference, Falcon's beating Phoenix pretty handily. In fact, the beating is getting so bad, Cap feels bad for the "misguided fool still fighting World War II!" He manages to get loose, and stops the Falcon from further thrashing Zemo.

Phoenix takes this opportunity to try to kill them both with Cap's own shield. I applaud thinking big, but I have no idea how the hell he thought that was going to work. It would be like trying to stop two people by throwing a manhole cover at them: you might get lucky and get one, but even that's pushing it. And he manages to miss Cap and Falcon both, and boomerang it back into himself. Again, no idea: Cap's shield doesn't naturally return or rebound, Cap has to bounce it off things or put a helluva lot of spin on it. But, Zemo goes into the tank of Adhesive X.

Cap starts to try to save Phoenix, but Falcon, quite rightly, stops him. Not a lot of superheroes are going to be able to dive into a boiling vat of unbreakable glue to save a Nazi, but that may be just as well. Cap mopes that, "the big war just claimed another victim," and that his revival also brought back "a whole generation's hatreds--hatreds that should've been left frozen a quarter of a century ago!" Cheer up, Cap: we've got a whole ton of new hatreds now!

This is about as objective as I could be on this comic: thanks to listening to that record so many times, I love it to this day. Probably 15 years after last hearing it, I bought the comic at Red Iguana Comics in Missoula, MT, for a dollar. And today I was able to read it and listen to it at the same time, for the first time. A pretty good day.

Read more!