This week, on Space Bucky...

Special guest-star, Grandpa Space Bucky? From 2015, Bucky Barnes: the Winter Soldier #4, "Chapter four: Past the Known Universe" Written by Ales Kot, art by Langdon Foss and Jordan Boyd; and Marco Rudy.

This was during Bucky's brief stint as "the Man on the Wall," defending earth from alien threats. Wait, is "the Man on the Wall" a Game of Thrones reference? I don't think this lasted long, though; since I know he was with most of the original Thunderbolts sometime around then, too. Marvel seemed to love the Winter Soldier, yet either be at a loss as to what to do with him, or unwilling to commit to a direction. Meanwhile, DC has somehow decided Jason Todd absolutely should have a comic as the Red Hood, just let it run. Doesn't seem fair.

Bucky is partnered up with another character Marvel can't seem to do anything with comics-wise, Daisy 'Quake' Johnson. While Bucky is getting some lovin' from Ventolin, an alien queen he was supposed to be assassinating (he's going to kill her the Kyle Rayner way: date her, then wait, it'll happen...) Daisy tries to sort out the story of Bucky's future self. Old Man Bucky says Bucky and Ventolin have hooked up many times across the multiverse, and that he's seen it happen, and helped it happen. Weird, but I'm jealous; that's way more helpful than my future self has ever been. That bastard's probably pissed at past-me...Anyway, Old Man Bucky was basically a retiree from 200 years in the future, and why not? Thanks to him, his universe was at peace, and his job was done. His robot helper (resembling a chattier version of Tony Stark's robot helper arm from the MCU) 'tattoos' a white flag over the red star on his cyborg arm; but when he checks on alternate reality versions of himself and Ventolin, he sees the 616-Bucky--ours--dead. Time to take off the white flag, and say a sad goodbye to his helper, as he did not seem to think he'd be coming back.

While Ventolin shows Bucky "the polarity paradox engine," Daisy races to catch up to him and pass on a warning. She runs smack into an unexpected face, though: Crossbones! The recap page had mentioned he was there, but was lacking on the how or why. I wouldn't have expected to see him in space, but Marvel seems to have a clearer idea what they're doing with Crossbones than Bucky or Quake...
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"Cheapshot."

Crossbones straight-up no-sale'd his fight with Kurt, about a million posts back! And it likewise feels like a hundred years since I've read a modern comic where a bad guy gets beat up and taken to the cops or whatever. Which wouldn't work all of the time, would it? If you're a thug and get beat up by Daredevil or Spider-Man, wouldn't you just claim they went nuts and beat you up for no reason? Unless a witness testifies, what evidence would they have on you? It wouldn't always work, and you'd probably be held for a while, but still.
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"Hideout."

I know there's an ad, a fairly recent one, that ran on the backs of comics for an Indiana Jones video game, with the tagline "Lucky your fists don't run out of ammo." Or close to that. Unfortunately, I didn't have it handy, but a moment of searching and...

I didn't play that, I wonder if Crossbones did? Have we seen the last of him? Not hardly, but...He's been a somewhat rare figure multiple times: way back in the Red Hulk wave, this movie version in a two-pack with Cap, with the Thunderbolts box set Satana was from. We've seen the Red Hulk one around multiple times over the years; not often enough for him to have his own tag, though. Until maybe now? He's a good villain kind of in the same way Bullseye or the Joker are, in the sense that I hate them and want to see them die. Anyway, he'll have another figure shortly, in the movie Black Widow wave, an updated comic version. I'm betting he outsells Spymaster, but they both look like the gimmies for that batch; with neither requiring anywhere near the amount of tooling the other figures needed.
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Can't sleep, so we're blogging a random issue of Thunderbolts...because that seems to be how I read that title. From 2010, Thunderbolts #148, "Lightning in Shadows" Written by Jeff Parker, art by Declan Shalvey.

This issue was part of the Shadowland crossover, which involved Daredevil becoming the leader of the evil ninja clan the Hand. I have not read a bit of it; it was wrapping up that stint of the title before Mark Waid took over, and he doesn't appear this issue. DD may have thought he could control the Hand and use it for good; not unlike what the government and Luke Cage were trying to do with the super-villains in the Thunderbolts. Still, the ninja situation is getting out of hand in the streets of New York, so Luke calls an audible and sets the team on them, without any permission or sanction. Or leadership, since he has to appear elsewhere in the crossover "to help the others turn Daredevil around," so Fixer and Songbird are left to ride herd on Moonstone, Ghost, Juggernaut, and Crossbones.

Moonstone points out that Cage is using the team not unlike the way Norman Osborn had; but Crossbones seems just as happy to be able to kill some ninjas, since technically most of them were already dead. Can't use excessive force on a corpse, I suppose...the team should be able to take them down simply enough, but some of the ninjas...combine? Form Voltron? Something, and knock Juggernaut off his feet. Then, when Fixer and Songbird go down, Moonstone cheerfully realizes the team is without their handlers...

Hmm, I know I have the 150th issue somewhere (which includes a reprint of the classic Thunderbolts #1) but I don't think I have the next one. I do believe a roster shake-up was impending, though.
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"Crossed."

What did someone say on Twitter--"don't bring a ghost to a knife fight"? Or was it the other way around? Anyway.

"Booberella" is an occasional Simpsons background character, inspired of course by Elvira. And Satana's using the magic effects pieces that came with the new Scarlet Witch, although I wasn't willing to pull Satana's hands off to get them on there.
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"Ugly Turn."

Even with his sword drawn, I don't like Zemo's odds against the Black Widow. Crossbones, though...Cross is bad news. Coincidentally, he just showed up in Amazing X-Men, one of several bad guys gunning for the Crimson Gem of Cytorrak. ("Who Wants to be the Juggernaut?" might've been a better title for that arc...) He's a villain I like in that he has very few redeeming features: no heel-face turn coming for him, then.
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Timing, part twenty.

Now, I think Deadpool could beat Crossbones, but it would take him a while, and there would be some stabbing involved. And now I'm not positive, but I think CB's been enhanced somehow, so he might even be stronger than he looks, and he looks pretty strong. Still, in case I haven't mentioned it, Crossbones is my favorite villain of Mark Gruenwald's long run on Captain America, just beating out Flag-Smasher. (The original, caped one, with ULTIMATUM and all that.) I also really wanted to get across that Cross is slumming it here: to him, working for MODOK would be the equivalent of a Mcjob. Maybe if I did more than one draft of these things...

Of course, I say that, but then had to redo the first page today, since I forgot a word balloon. In ye olden times, a correction for something like that might turn up on the letter pages a couple issues later--I remember Thor doing that once or twice, like the Secret Wars panel. Captain America had an issue where in a close-up panel of Cap, he had no nose! The editor said it was a problem with the then-new flexographic (I think) printing, and they had a cut-and-paste stat of Cap's nose for readers to do themselves. I might have to dig those up...

Still, I thought Pool deserved to get one in, since Crossbones is successful and has a great rep; while the last issue I read as of writing this, poor Deadpool didn't even have a chair anymore...Which brings up another point, that probably on the stands by the time I post this: Deadpool fights old Sub-Mariner villain Tiger Shark in his next issue (#6), and Tiger Shark's another favorite of mine. I didn't like the overly shark-like version Mark Bagley drew in Thunderbolts, I like the old school version. And it is a crime Tiger Shark doesn't have an action figure yet.

For newer readers of Deadpool, a tip: he's not lying. Pool beat an alien-controlled Captain America, and I might see if I can dig up the panel. Possibly Wade's finest hour. Not Cap's, though. Read more!

It was a short fight; that's why I forgot it. Yeah...

When I put together my homemade strips, best case scenario I work off of "selective continuity." Crossbones, Deathstroke, and Bullseye seemed like a perfectly reasonable teaming of mercenaries; even if Deathstroke's from DC and the rest from Marvel. But, I had forgotten about this fight: from Streets of Poison (again!) Bullseye vs. Crossbones. Back in this one, Bullseye seemed much less likely to want to fight hand-to-hand, which is why I think it's odd to see him do so now, like the recent Moon Knight fight. (From Captain America #377, "The 100% Solution" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Danny Bulanadi.)

I mention this because it's something I bitch about when other writers do it in real comics. Take for example, the Inhumans. They're characters with a certain fan base, and creators like the Inhumans--well, they like the Lee/Kirby Inhumans. Maybe a couple of the old Byrne issues, or the Jenkins/Lee limited. Other than that, every other Inhumans story? May as well not exist. Every appearance of the Inhumans seems to have, at best, a tangential relationship to the one before. That may stem from the fact that they were usually used as guest-stars, and only the most hardcore of fans (or random chance) is going to keep track of Black Bolt and company's appearances in Silver Surfer or New Warriors.

From Inhumans #3, "Ghost in the Machine" Written by Paul Jenkins, art by Jae Lee. Reprinted in Marvel Knights Magazine #6.

(Did the Inhumans ever appear in ROM? Just about everyone else did, but I don't know if ROM hit Attilan in his world tour. Also, it always bugged me that the Ladronn Inhumans mini of a few years back wasn't "in continuity," but it wrote out almost of the citizen, rank-and-file Inhumans; leaving a royal family with no subjects.)

Man-Bat would fall into the same boat. Everybody likes Man-Bat. (Everyone should, anyway...) But is Dr. Kirk Langstrom a troubled genius striving for acceptance? Was he deaf before taking his bat-formula? Was Kirk a private detective? A research scientist? A museum curator? Is he an environmental psychotic trying to replace humanity with bat-hybrids? Do his wife and children still have bat-traits, and are they even alive? Can he control his transformation? When he transforms, is Kirk in control, or is he a mindless beast, or something else entirely?

I don't think Jamie Delano and John Bolton's Man-Bat (art here from issue #3) is in continuity, as it's an Elseworlds book; but aspects of it seem to have bled into the DCU version. (Also, the Batman in this, is a colossal dick. I just had to look if Delano had worked on Judge Dredd, since his Batman seems to be of the same stripe.) Some would say, if it's in service to a good story, the continuity doesn't matter; and they would have a point. But if you remembered his first series, or his Brave and the Bold appearances where he tried to one-up Batman; this new Man-Bat would be disturbing and wrong. Which in this case works: Man-Bat here is supposed to be alien and terrifying, while retaining remnants of his family man roots.

So, in a nutshell, there's your pros and cons to continuity: it's great, except when it isn't, so you can pick and choose, but rarely does everyone agree on what to keep and what to toss. There's still a few fans of the Spider-Clone out there, you know.

Not me though. Well, not really... Read more!

Timing, part sixteen.

Even though he's a thug working for a Nazi, Crossbones does have at least one admirable attribute, aside from the ability to take a two-by-four to the head: he's unfailingly loyal to the Red Skull. For his part, the Skull seems to think more highly of Cross and treat him better than another villain, say, Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor, would treat their underlings.

In his first couple of appearances, during the biweekly "Bloodstone Hunt" storyline, Crossbones was a mysterious silent observer. In his next couple, he seemed a little more...whimsical, cheerfully fighting Cap and singing. Later, he settled into his role as number-one thug: brutal, methodical, and with a touch of black humor; although not as much as his boss.

From Captain America #360, "Blood in the Sea!" Written (and plot) by Mark Gruenwald, pencils (and plot) by Kieron Dwyer, inks by Danny Bulanadi. While it might not have been the most dramatic first appearance, Crossbones would bulk up something fierce before his next one. Read more!

Timing, part fifteen.

Later today, I'll post the Wolverine fight Nightcrawler mentions.

While I often complain that Nightcrawler doesn't get as much use as, um, just about every other X-Man, I have to admit, if used improperly, he could be a huge deus ex machina. (Unlike Phoenix...or Storm...or Wolverine...I'll stop now.) Look, Nightcrawler and a good length of two-by-four could beat just about anyone in the Marvel Universe. How? Using the two-by-four as a spear, Nightcrawler teleports it into the victim's body, embedding it on the molecular level and probably killing them instantly. Actually, he could also teleport a chunk off of the victim, which would probably also do the trick.

Now, since Kurt isn't a killer, you don't see him do that very often, except to robots or non-living targets. And it's something that's failed spectacularly before: he was badly hurt when he tried that on the super-Sentinel Nimrod. And lots of villains have force-fields or whatnot to prevent just such an occurrence as well--Magneto, Dr. Doom, etc. Still, I think sometimes writers have problems with a character whose power allows him to get into or out of most any situation instantly.

Of course, like I've admitted before, I'm biased, since Nightcrawler's been a favorite since I was a kid. Like Batman or Mickey Mouse, he's instantly recognizable in silhouette; he's got his own sound-effect--I think only Spider-Man should be able to use "THWIP!" Wolverine should be the only one that gets to go "SNIKT!" And it offends me when anyone besides Nightcrawler goes "BAMF!" Read more!

Timing, part fourteen.

Reusing that first panel there, I wanted Deathstroke's first word balloon to cover Pool's, but couldn't get the program to do it without them printing together. Oh, well. I forget who did Deathstroke's voice on the Teen Titans cartoon, but I hear that very John Malkovich-sounding voice for him. Crossbones, I hear Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bullseye...hmm. I'd have to think about it.

Before I ever read a Daredevil comic, I was working my way through the OHOTMU, better known as Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe. And I hit Bullseye pretty early, then: a stone-cold killer, who could murder with paper clips, playing cards, a paper airplane. My initial reaction, as a little kid, was incredulity: there was no way someone could do that. Right? (Well, yeah, probably not, but if you're gonna accept that he's also fighting a blind guy with radar sense, in for a penny...)

So, Bullseye is far too dangerous not to be dealt with first. Especially since he seems to be escalating from, well, psycho-killer to worse. Interestingly, in Moon Knight #25, he seems more than willing to fight hand-to-hand as well:

From Moon Knight #25, "The Death of Marc Spector, chapter five" Written by Mike Benson, art by Mark Texeira, layouts by Javier Saltares. Damn good issue, really. I don't see a lot of people talking up this book lately, but it has had some moments.

Bullseye's a scarier guy than Deathstroke, Crossbones, and a lot of other villains; because there's every probability that he's going to snap and kill you. Even if you're on his side, even if he's almost a friend, even if you think he's under your control. Maybe especially then. And Bullseye's not going to use Joker-toxin or a death ray or adhesive X; he's going to use something pointy. Knife? Letter opener? Cable bill? Scary, scary.

Well, he's dead now. Is Nightcrawler a killer? Next episode Thursday! Read more!