"Warning: Read Siege #4 before this book!" I keep telling you, you can't make me!

They tried to do the same thing for Sentry: Fallen Sun, too. Will I like this issue any more...or less? From 2010, the New Avengers: Finale #1, written by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils by Bryan Hitch and others, inks by Butch Guice, Andrew Currie, Mark Morales, and others.

I actually have read Siege, and off the top of my head, the only things I can recollect are a pep talk for the bad guys that Asgardians were creampuffs and Thor was like their Spider-Man, the only tough one; and Norman Osborn unmasked in his Iron Patriot suit and found to be wearing...like Green Goblin facepaint underneath? It's a striking visual that does not make a helluva lot of sense: he had been crazy before, sure, but portrayed as a savvy master-planner always at least two steps ahead of everyone, not a drooling nutbag. This would be the end of Norman's time as everyone's villain and send him back to just being Spidey's. Anyway, with Norman under arrest, a ton of villains captured, and oh yeah, I guess Asgard had fallen? But, the New Avengers had been wanted by the law for quite a stretch, and weren't really sure if they still were at this point. Still, they were holding a grudge against the Hood, and even if he had lost his powers (again! How many times has that happened?) they had no intention of letting him rebuild power; either his own or organizational. The Hood had escaped with Madame Masque, who takes him to her dad, Count Nefaria, in the hopes of getting his powers back. Or some powers. Whatever. (I had mistakenly thought Silvermane was Masque's father, or maybe wasn't going to let that get in the way of a joke!)

Weird, this would be two years before Bendis would shoehorn Count Nefaria into another attempt at a big finish, Moon Knight #12. I suppose he's needed here so this isn't just a cakewalk for Ms. (Captain) Marvel, but the Avengers bring in everyone; which feels like should spell doom for the Hood, since I can't see him not getting repeatedly shanked in prison. Steve Rogers is made "America's top cop," a title I don't miss. Their names cleared, and Luke Cage reunited with Jessica Jones and their kid, the team enjoys a rare walk in the sun. 

This was the end of Bendis's long time with the Avengers. which was usually more miss than hit for me; even as he still has the occasional decent character beat; like Nefaria badmouthing the Hood, asking what Whitney saw in him. But, and I could say this was of its time, but it's also petty and mean? The Avengers go out of their way to intimidate and torture the Hood's cousin to get info (lightly torture, if there's such a thing) and their takedown of the bad guys is a bit over the top: Nefaria boasts of being immortal, so they bring Wolverine in to stab him a bunch? Moreover, I should enjoy Hitch art more than I do; but neither the Ultimates nor the Authority have aged especially well for me. Which I'm pretty sure wasn't his fault, but here we are. There's also a sizeable stretch of the story set under red lights, for...reasons? Like the colorist got it on sale? And then a pin-up section-slash-series retrospective by various artists, if that does anything for you.

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I was blogging this on the strength of the cover; I wasn't expecting bangers here!

It's a Patrick Olliffe cover, for Amazing Spider-Man Family #3: the guy did Untold Tales of Spider-Man and still has it! But, it's covering a solid package of tales, some of which maybe even weren't reprints?

J.M. DeMatteis and Val Semeiks come out swinging (boo!) with "The Punch." Set very early after Peter first became Spider-Man, he fantasizes about giving Flash Thompson the what-for; until he accidentally wrecks a guy knocking over a convenience store. (Or 'bodega,' I guess; I've never been to NYC!) It looks like a Sal Buscema punch, which is great for hitting the Scorpion or the Rhino, but does a number on a regular person. As you can guess, Peter's pretty distraught after that one, especially when he tries to visit the guy in the hospital and just scares him more! Still, Aunt May puts him back on the right track, with Uncle Ben's video collection--no, not like that! It's a bunch of action movies, but Peter remembers what Ben told him about heroism; and later puts his spider-strength to better use, saving bystanders from a falling crane, including the attempted robber, who is also inspired to turn it around. And, it ends with a conversation between Peter and Flash, that maybe makes their later friendship make more sense.

Next, a couple alternate reality stories: a "Mr. and Mrs. Spider-Man" tale, with the titular couple taking May to the emergency room...and recognizing the Rhino, plainclothes, bringing in his nanna! ("Common Ground," written by Tom DeFalco, art by Todd Nauck.) And, a bit of silliness, with "the Amazing Spider-Ma'am," an Aunt May that knew her nephew's secret, but played along. (Written by Abby Denson, art by Colleen Coover.) Then, one I think from the Marvel Adventures line, "Bridge and Tunnel" A snowy evening on the subway is made a mess when Spidey tries to catch a nickel-and-dime crook with a remarkable propensity for fleeing, and usually fleeing directly into the path of danger. The kind of guy that would run away from Spidey, directly into oncoming traffic. (Written by Stuart Moore, pencils by Val Semeiks, inks by Mark Irwin.)

But, I was most impressed with the last reprint: all of "Best of Enemies" from Spectacular Spider-Man #200! (Written by J.M. DeMatteis, art by Sal Buscema.) This would be the final battle between Spidey and the Harry Osborn Green Goblin, and it's a classic...that gets stepped on later for Brand New Day to bring Harry back like nothing happened. I'm behind on my current continuity, I think Harry's died again since maybe. Read more!

Beating up the Green Goblin, easy-peasy. Beating up the Green Goblin and a nonagenarian, wah, that's too hard!

His fists are so bony! And he smells like soup! This issue, Aunt May in the hospital is the free Bingo space, can Spidey fight his way out of a plastic bag, and not a reveal, but the prime suspect is crossed off; all this and more, from 1978, Amazing Spider-Man #179, "The Goblin's Always Greener...!" Written and edited by Len Wein, illustrated by Ross Andru, embellished by Mike Esposito.

It probably isn't the least-dignified death-trap Spidey's ever been stuck in, but this starts off with the Goblin already having him in the bag: a clear "polymer plastic!" Spidey says is stronger than steel (Mylar?) but he could be panicking, either from the air running out, or because he had to get to the hospital for Aunt May. Luckily for him, there's help at hand: a thug with a bazooka! OK, that was a surprise, coming into this somewhat cold; but the Goblin and Silvermane were facing off for control of New York's underworld, which apparently hinged on whoever caught Spidey and turned him over to the bosses? I guess there's worse ways to decide this stuff, so...The Goblin's glider is damaged, forcing him to retreat, and he drops Spidey, who busts out of the bag but still lands in a dumpster. The mobsters, somewhat dated even then but very dapper in their little suits and hats, are clearly overjoyed as they cuff Spidey and take him for a ride...for about a block, before Spidey recovers and kicks the crap out them, and their car.

Peter gets to the hospital, but Aunt May had already been taken into surgery. The Green Goblin arrives back at his hideout, where he monologues to a tied-up man with a bag over his head, reiterating the Silvermane plot, as well as how he couldn't stand to look at his hostage's face. Back at the hospital, Robbie Robertson shows up, because he's the coolest; but after Aunt May is out of the woods, J.Jonah Jameson calls him with a job for Peter: get some pictures of a riot over at Radio City Music Hall! Since Aunt May would be under for a while, Spidey gets there for a Silvermane/Green Goblin fight, already in progress. Silvermane had several gunsels with him, as well as some arm candy that was probably not a quarter of his age and had to be purely ornamental: I'm not looking it up, but pretty sure this issue predates Viagra. Although he gets held up when he trips over his girl, and was probably older than Aunt May, Silvermane puts up a good fight--this was well before he became a cyborg--and he does pull off a nice throw, hitting Spidey with the Goblin! But when the three of them are punching each other on the Goblin's glider, they all fall...

Meanwhile, back at the Goblin's hideout, his hostage manages to cut his ropes on a shard of metal, and removes the bag, revealing...Harry Osborn? Then who was this Green Goblin? And what would Harry do about it? The next issue would have the reveal, although I apologize, for indexing purposes the GCD links have spoilers! Also, I can't recall if that Green Goblin had the same treatment that gave the others super-strength; but I suppose he must have, or his head would get knocked off the first time Spidey actually hits him. (This is also why I can't for the life of me figure out why the current Spider-Man/Predator book is more than one issue: I know they probably don't want to show the Predator getting clowned on, but Spidey is way stronger, and the Pred wouldn't be able to sneak up on him! Unless they make up some nonsense reason to pad it.) Read more!

It was really nice the other afternoon, so I went for a little bike ride and picked up a couple books, including this one I maybe hadn't read before: from 2008, Moon Knight #23, "The Death of Marc Spector, chapter three" Written by Mike Benson, layouts by Javier Saltares, finishes by Mark Texeira.

This was after the death of Steve Rogers, with Norman Osborn currently the director of the Thunderbolts, and the book opens with him reading Moonstone the riot act since the team had thus far failed to bring in "this joke, this moon freak, this D-list of a punch line." (Moonstone is more compliant here than usual, but I'm not sure she even gets a word in edgewise; she might just be letting Norman rant himself out.) As usual, Norman will take care of things himself, and had a plan already, starting with a member of a gang called the Whyos: the gang member wore a Riddler-esque derby hat, to cover up the moon-shaped scar carved into his forehead. Meanwhile, Moon Knight was also dealing with a horrible boss; as Khonshu appears to him, to tell him they were done. Khonshu was still manifesting as the skinned-face Bushman, but here looks more like the suit-wearing Red Skull of the 90's; as he tells Marc he had "other clients." (We would see other disciples of Khonshu much later, but I'm not sure it came back up in Benson's run.)

The next day, the Whyos attack a trendy gay restaurant, with a few slurs and some Clockwork Orange-style ultraviolence. Frenchie's boyfriend, Rob, is badly beaten, before Frenchie gets there to tear into them and drive them off. Rob is hospitalized, and it is uncertain if he would make it: Marlene visits Frenchie, but after a suicide attempt, Frenchie reaches out to long-time informant Crawley for info on the Whyos, and attacks them with a baseball bat. This gets him shot a bit, but Moon Knight arrives to help out: Frenchie is pissed Crawley called him, but he'd have been sunk on his own. Moon Knight gives chase to the last Whyo, putting two crescent-darts in his legs; but the Whyo is seemingly unconcerned, as he has his own backup: Venom! (I think this would be the Mac Gargan Venom; he did not have a great track record there.) Weird, because Bullseye gets the cover; he was still an issue or two out.  Read more!

The Infinity Gauntlet + Daddy issues = a problem that'll probably sort itself out.

From 2015, What If? Infinity Dark Reign #1, "What If? the Green Goblin stole the Infinity Gauntlet?" Written by Joshua Williamson, art by Goran Sudzuka. 

 Ambrose Osborn is about to lay a whuppin' on young (and disobedient) Norman, when he's unexpectedly transported to the future, and the middle of the big fight towards the end of Siege. Which I know I have, but I'm not positive I've actually read? I know Norman goes off the rails pretty hard there, but here he's getting things under control, like taking down the Sentry with the Infinity Gauntlet! Captain America points out, maybe a lunatic like Norman shouldn't have that, but the assorted heroes are wiped out and Norman's Dark Avengers sent home, so Norman can have some time with his dad. Who maybe should've believed in him more: his kid grew up to be God! A petulant, fallible God, but still. Ambrose isn't overly impressed with Norman's tyranny, and that's before he shows him his greatest work...of art: the death of Gwen Stacy, a moment Spider-Man is locked in, forever. 

Since that doesn't bring dad on board, Norman uses the Gauntlet to change his mind, turning him into a sycophantic yes-man. But, when they return to Norman's tower, the Dark Avengers are dead, slaughtered by Thanos. Norman knows Thanos can't touch him while he has the Gauntlet, but Thanos might think he can get in his head: Daddy's never going to love you, even with the Gauntlet...it maybe doesn't play out soon enough, and Norman melts Thanos. 

Ambrose is proud of Norman, but when pressed "Why?" says it's because he's his son. Norman feels he should be proud of his accomplishments, and wipes him out of the timeline. It takes Norman a moment too long to realize, maybe he shouldn't have retroactively killed his dad, as he fades from existence, leaving the Gauntlet floating empty in space...

The Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode Reptilicus features the line "A fire in an aquarium? Eh, that'll sort itself out." Which is pretty much what happens here?

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Speedball is one of like half a dozen characters at Marvel alone, that is basically teenage-era Spider-Man: off the top of my head, Nova, Darkhawk, Gravity, Ms. Marvel, probably the other Nova, arguably Thunderstrike even though he wasn't a teen, and, um, oh yeah, multiple other versions of Spidey. But it's weird to see Speedball against a Spidey foe and a DD one, even if it was in the middle of his 'dark' phase. From 2007, Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures #1, written by Paul Jenkins, art by Steve Lieber.

This was a one-shot concurrent with Warren Ellis's Thunderbolts run, as Norman Osborn gives a harsh post-mission critique to 'Penance,' and highlights a little toy of his: a device that could tap into any security camera in the world. He's showing off as he browbeats Robbie, who like most teenagers doesn't want to be there or involved in that conversation. Norman is starting to get irritated with the little goody-goody, but couldn't just have him killed: technically, Robbie was there of his own free will, his time on the Thunderbolts considered "rehabiliative therapy." But Norman has an idea, when he goes through the list of unregistered superhumans that need to be brought in; which involves the rarely-seen vigilante Americop. (Whose real name was Bart Gallows--a predecessor of Punisher 2099 Jake Gallows?)

Norman gives Bullseye a little "therapy" session, and his marching orders: he was going to be team leader, on the mission to bring in Americop. Even Bullseye thinks that's crazy, but Norman has it all planned out, and Bullseye was under at least some control with the nanites injected into him. The only downside: Bullseye of course was a known criminal murderer, so the government absolutely could not be seen working with him. That shouldn't be a problem, as Bullseye got a tricked-out semi-invisible motorcycle for the job, which he then uses to launch Penance at Americop! Who proves surprisingly durable, surviving their initial attack, throwing Penance around, and putting a "banshee" round in Bullseye's leg. With Norman keeping the rest of the T-Bolts "in reserve," Americop hunts Bullseye and Penance while saying stuff like "they were under cardiac arrest." Hilarious.

To save them both, Bullseye powers-up Penance...by punching him in the spine, a lot. Penance blows out Americop, then Bullseye pummels him some more, before Norman activates the nanobots to shock him down. In another post-mission briefing, Norman gloats he didn't think Penance would've willingly gone through that to amp up the power needed to take down Americop, but Penance disagrees. Namely, he didn't have to use all his power then...He blows up most of Norman's office, before smashing his camera-tapper, and a couple fingers. Norman later gives him the post-mission rating, "beginning to show potential." Which is...kind of more nuanced than I think Norman was capable of at the time? He was like, extra-crazy with sprinkles on top then. It was more like, his way, or a murdery tantrum; not a lot of middle ground.

Americop was a fourth-string nobody; but that was a secret strength of this era: taking obscure characters like that, and giving them a moment to be super-cool...probably before then getting super-murdered, but still. Also this issue: a two-page spread for the former Toy Biz/Marvel Toys Legendary Comic Book Heroes! Build a Pitt or Monkeyman! Ah, that takes me back. Read more!

I didn't read these when they came out, and I'm not really running them down now, but another random one from the quarter boxes: from 2007, Thunderbolts #113, "Faith in Monsters, part four" Written by Warren Ellis, art by Mike Deodato.

Hmm, we saw the next issue some time back, and this really feels like a slow burn--or writing for the trade a bit. The post-Civil War Thunderbolts were the government sponsored answer to superheroes and unsanctioned vigilantes, and today their boss, Norman Osborn, checks in on "Penance," the former Speedball, Robbie Baldwin. He had survived the disaster that set off the War, and had lost his team and seemingly his will to live. Osborn almost seems to be trying to reach him, although that's likely because he doesn't want a suicide on his watch. His next meeting is with the Swordsman, former half of Fenris, currently pitching a little fit since he was waiting for a clone of his dead sister. (I didn't think his identity was revealed that soon; I thought it was teased out longer: Penance too.) Osborn shuts that down, not taking any crap from Eurotrash. Moonstone is unexpectedly more understanding with Swordsman, and maybe even Osborn: "...he's on quite a lot of medication, you know."

Moonstone had arranged for Norman's meds to be either combined for adverse reactions, or outright placebos; and figured it was just a matter of time until he lost the reality knob. They might have to kill Songbird, though; to make sure Moonstone be put in charge, and thus be in place to keep Swordman's clone-sister project going. But short-term, the T-Bolts had a new mission: bring in Oliver Osnick, aka the Steel Spider. Who longtime readers might have remembered as the spectacular Spider-Kid! He had lost some weight and was pretty hardcore now; although he doesn't seem like he was going to be anywhere near a match for the team. Osborn wants the T-Bolts to go in broad daylight and kick the teeth out of Spider-Man on live TV...I mean, Steel Spider. A slip of the tongue, that Norman keeps making. Songbird briefly questions where Bullseye was; and is told he gets a separate briefing: he wasn't a T-Bolt, he was their "safety net." Meanwhile, in his apartment, watching the news about the unmasked Peter Parker, Oliver works on his arms, which seems to be the addition of a revolver. That seems a little low-end, but maybe it'll work out for him. (Nope!) Read more!

If you ordered the big Hasbro Sentinel but don't have this Spidey, prepare to curse your lack of preparedness.

From 1996, Amazing Spider-Man #415, "Siege!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Mark Bagley, inks by Larry Mahlsted and Al Milgrom. 

We're smack in the middle of a long-running storyline and a big crossover, both of which had potential but I'm not sure are remembered fondly: the Spider-Clone Saga and Onslaught. Ben Reilley was the current Spider-Man, and allegedly the real Peter Parker. Peter had just lost his Aunt May, had nearly died himself, his spider-powers were intermittent and erratic, and Mary Jane was pregnant. I think we're up to six things that would be later reversed, and we're not done yet! Somebody in the government had the bright idea to deploy the Sentinels against Onslaught, and they were almost immediately taken over by him. The giant robots begin enforcing martial law, and demanding mutants and enhanced humans to surrender; and they see Peter as a threat immediately. Peter leaps out of there with MJ, but the Sentinel had called in back-up to give chase.

As another Sentinel attacks the Daily Bugle, Ben makes sure his new supporting cast is safe at the Daily Grind before suiting up. Peter tries to lead a Sentinel away from Mary Jane, noting the robot noting his unborn child could be powered, then his own powers crap out mid-fight. Still, as a lowly normo, he no longer registers as a threat to the Sentinel, who returns to its previous duties. At the Bugle, Jameson attempts to rally his staff, when word of a fight outside reaches him. That damn Spider--no, it's the heroic Green Goblin, taking on a Sentinel himself! (It would be Phil Urich's greatest, and final, victory...he wouldn't get any in his last issue.)

Peter and MJ get to the Bugle, with Peter trying to get a camera and get back out there. Meanwhile, Spidey scares down some looters, then fights a Sentinel, tearing apart its head! I think multiple robot corpses would be scattered across the city for the next few months; I know we saw one in Punisher #17, even if I didn't scan it. 

So much rolled back from this issue! Also, we know Onslaught was Xavier and Magneto's, what, dark sides put together? Would he have wanted the Sentinels to keep cataloguing mutants? Or immediately start taking potshots at Peter, without giving him a chance to surrender? I'm probably nitpicking there; I've read the main issues and a lot of the crossovers, but never in order.

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"Flare-up."

No commentary today? Ah, maybe later. Read more!

I'm positive somebody's rent or credit card payment was late because of this. Nice one, Parker.

From 2004, MARVEL KNIGHTS: SPIDER-MAN #1, "Down among the Dead Men, Part One" Written by Mark Millar, pencils by Terry Dodson, inks by Rachel Dodson. I think I've said on occasion this was the last thing Millar did that I really liked...at all; but was it the last Spidey title I read new off the racks? And it was 2004? Seems a million years gone by.

Anyway, I woke up too early Sunday, so I hadda get my X-Mas cards ready to go out. While we, y'know, still have mail. Can't take anything for granted anymore, huh?
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80-Page Thursdays: Amazing Spider-Man #800!

Recently, to complete the Kingpin Build-a-Figure, I picked up the Red Goblin and Symbiote Spider-Man figures: I got them entirely for the Kingpin parts, but at least I did have a comic they were from! From 2018, Amazing Spider-Man #800, "Go Down Swinging, conclusion" Written by Dan Slott, pencils by Nick Bradshaw, Humberto Ramos, Giusepe Camuncoli, Stuart Immonen, and Marcos Martin; inks by Victor Olazaba, Cam Smith, and Wade von Grawbadger; color art by Edgar Delgado, Java Tartaglia, and Muntsa Vicente.

Very unusually for an 80-pager, this was one story, no back-ups, not 10 8-page stories--seriously, I would have to go a ways back through the tag to find one...oh, maybe this Robin 80-pager. Anyway. This was also wrapping up writer Dan Slott's long tenure on the book, ten years worth. And it was part four of four, pulling out all the stops for a final battle between Norman Osborn with the Carnage symbiote, versus Spidey wearing Venom again. That's not the only support Spidey has: he has other friends there to help him, but most of them are knocked out by the start of this one. We mentioned the Spidey and Goblin figures from this one, but there's another guest-star getting an action figure soon, even if he's not around to enjoy it!

Even without the prior issues, or really reading Amazing regularly for years, this was a strong single issue. If you look it up on the GCD, there was also about a million variant covers, so I don't think it would be too tough to find.
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It's OK if Mommy and Daddy fight, as long as one of them is in costume.

I know I collected the other 30th anniversary holographic covers, but this one might be the strongest: from 1992, the Spectacular Spider-Man #189, "The Osborn Legacy" Written by J.M. DeMatteis, art by Sal Buscema.

This probably seems longer ago than it actually was, but a married Peter and Mary Jane Parker are on edge, since Harry Osborn is full-on Green Goblin again and is taunting them, and he knows Peter's secret identity. Harry also kidnaps his extended family: wife Liz, son Normie, brother-in-law Mark "Molten Man" Raxton. Normie is too little to realize how creepy his dad is being, in full Goblin costume; but Liz and Mark are terrified; worse, Harry now seems stronger than Mark.

While Mary Jane goes to stay with Aunt May (under the white lie of having had a fight with Peter) Spider-Man tracks Harry down to his childhood home, Norman Osborn's house. Harry, for his part, wanted to live up to his father's legacy but not make the same mistakes, like ignoring or hurting his loved ones; and in his defense, Normie seems into it. Catching the family at dinner, Spidey has to sit down with them while Harry plays up his "happy family" that Peter doesn't have. A fishing expedition that Peter doesn't bite on, but Mark attacks Harry, and gets slapped down again. (Mark had activated a Spider-tracer that led Peter there.) Normie sides with his dad, as Harry turns hard on Liz; then hits Spidey in the back with a Goblin-glider since Spidey has to take the hit to protect Normie. Harry then attempts to snap Spidey's neck, saying he's too paralyzed with guilt to risk hurting anyone. Refusing to live in fear, Spidey rallies, punching out Harry and resolving to live with whatever happens.

In a "high-tech straitjacket" from the Vault, the cops take Harry away--still in full costume--but he takes a moment to proclaim he knows Spider-Man's secret identity.


Spidey is left, alone, standing in the street at the end here...actually, I think he stands around a lot in this one; but still a good one. There would be a bit to go before Harry was killed off, but he would be back years later after "One More Day," and a ton of things have happened to him since...
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