This isn't even the most nonsensical version I've read of this, but it tries harder.

My copy is pretty ratty, but I should scan the whole thing for Internet Archive: from 2009, Toyfare #137, "Twisted Toyfare Theatre: Invasion of the Mego Snatchers" By a big chunk of Toyfare staff: Aclin, Gutierrez, Dietsch; with Bricken, Brucie, Collins, Molino, Powell and Ward! 

This was their riff on Secret Invasion, which goes off the rails around page 4, but no more so than any other version of that story I've seen. (Seriously, I know I've read it, but it keeps falling out of my head.) And Mephisto's explanation of the fix resonates a bit with me, since I remember thinking fans might feel like that back when Ben Reilly replaced Peter Parker as the 'real' Spider-Man. 

As usual, I'm on vacation next week, and as usual, the blog will continue to trundle along aimlessly regardless! See you then.   

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"Renfield."

I swear I had most of this strip planned, before Dan Slott brought it up again on Twitter! I didn't like it at the time, I don't like it now: killing off Hostess Spidey is just taking a doofy, pleasant memory and crapping on it to be 'extreme.' It feels like killing Cookie Monster or some other harmless childhood character. Ty Templeton sells the joke, sure, but it doesn't strike me as funny; and a lot of other Hostess-style spoofs do. (There are a number of fan-made ones, but top two would be the Thunderbolts and Preacher.)

Luckily, I don't think Mego Spidey had to face Morlun: that panel was from ToyFare #106, which OAFE mentioned in their review for Morlun. Who, let's be honest, I absolutely only bought because of the Build-a-Figure Armadillo part. As I type this, I'm still waiting for goldrush Spidey or whatever that one is. The new Miles is nicely done, as is Doctor Strange, even if I thought their last figures were fine. No Way Home J.Jonah Jameson had the devil's own time standing for a bit; and I haven't seen the movie yet, so I don't know if they're going to try and humanize him, or just let JJJ be a dick. (I kind of thought that was a problem with Shang-Chi: I don't think they wanted to get into the Fu Manchu-stereotypes, but they softened Wenwu up too much. Maybe let a bad guy be a bad guy.) Shriek might actually be useful later, as she makes up part of Carnage's Maximum Carnage-era Manson family, with the Doppleganger and Demogoblin. That just leaves Carrion, and I think there are enough parts in Hasbro's library to make him eventually.

I was also trying to think, if in Marvel continuity, we've seen a Renfield-type character for Dracula. But I suppose he probably goes through them like I go through noodle cups, since it would be like having an annoying, overly enthusiastic intern: you just want them to get your coffee or whatever, and they make it weird by trying to pattern themselves after you. And eating bugs. Who needs that, I ask you...

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So, some movie opens tomorrow...

Or tonight, I guess, if you're going at midnight or something. Somehow, I would be more excited for The Amazing Spider-Man if the Lizard tried this:

From 2003, ToyFare #68, Twisted Toyfare Theatre, "A Lizard in Every Pot." By McCallum, Root, and Oat; with Aclin, Bricken, Patyk, and Guttierrez.

I'm personally not super-excited for the new Spider-Man movie, but I suspect that's because I was much more excited for Avengers or the Dark Knight Rises. Or maybe it's because Marvel...oh, Marvel. They're exasperating, at best; since I haven't been able to really enjoy about 90%, 95% of what they do lately. The Hurting's Tim O'Neil has a solid evisceration of AvX that hits some of the problems I have with Marvel lately. And I think a lot of Marvel's current output is probably fine, but the stuff that I don't like ruins the rest for me.

The only books from Marvel I'm currently enjoying are Garth Ennis's Fury (or "Fury MAX") and Rick Remender's Uncanny X-Force. Fury I'm loving so much, I'm afraid someone higher up at Disney will realize what they're publishing and pull the plug; while X-Force is good but not quite what I want it to be. Because I'd rather it was the Nightcrawler/Deadpool/Wolverine show; and it spends a little more time than I'd care for on Fantomex and Psylocke. (I do like that AoA Nightcrawler, more than once, has been shown at the verge of death, but refuses to quit, because he still has people on his kill list; and Wolverine is the one wondering if things have gone too far.)

I'm still hoping against hope that Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes will keep going; but a recent episode made me realize I hate both the character and the idea of the Red Hulk. I had been ignoring him before...That, and over on Twitter, Evan Dorkin pointed out that Red Hulk might be the last big new (or "new") character introduced at Marvel, since creators are getting less anxious to sign their creations over to Disney/Marvel. (I suppose Red She-Hulk or A-Bomb might be "new" characters as well, but this is just making me sad.)

And Big Bad Toy Store revealed the figures for the third 2012 wave of Marvel Legends (although they don't know the Build-a-Figure yet) and I'm a little disappointed: another Iron Man, another Dr. Doom, another Punisher (or Blade). I could be persuaded on the X-Force uniform Deadpool, and I definitely want USAgent, but I'll have to see if the others really wow me.

So, I'm all cranky-pants. I'm sure I'll see Amazing Spider-Man sooner or later, though. How about you?

Oh, and I almost forgot: ToyFare #68 also featured one of my favorite short gags from the entire run of the magazine:

Featuring the 200X Masters of the Universe Buzz-Off, a figure I own because of the above...


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I was just watching (some time ago, really, but bear with me) Godzilla vs. Mothra: Battle for Earth, a 1992 film with a very pro-environment message. For a kaiju monster movie...anyway, towards the end Battra and Mothra team-up to drag Godzilla outta town, in a rather undignified fashion. Which reminded me of one of my favorite Twisted ToyFare Theatre strips, which is conveniently available online: "Annoy All Monsters!" Check it out, it's a good one. Read more!

Eight random line items!

I haven't done one of these in a while. Of course I'm prepared, what makes you say that?

1. Damnit, I got home and missed UPS. And my dog was at the door looking completely pleased with himself, like he got rid of an intruder. That dog...hopefully, later today I'll have something for next week.

2. I've been watching the Cape...well, sort of: it's been on, while I'm in the room; but I haven't been paying a ton of attention. It seems like a show with Keith David, Vinnie Jones, and a midget should be a little livelier. It's not terrible like late episodes of Heroes, and it seems more enjoyable than V, but both shows need to make some headway somewhere.

Keep in mind, you probably shouldn't listen to me about TV, since everything I've watched lately--the NFL playoffs, Wipeout, the State of the Union address--has been in one ear and out the other. Either they haven't been overly memorable, or I haven't been paying attention. Or both. I'd go with both.

3. I did watch Red, and thought it was OK. I did want to re-read the book, though; I always pictured Patrick Stewart in the Frank Moses role. In the book, Moses' calls to his handler aren't a guy looking for a date; they're an old man's only human contact, and have a certain neediness to them. But, a more straight adaptation would've been a lot grimmer and bloodier; I can't fault their decision to go for a broader audience.


4. I almost hesitate to bring this up, but Hastings has been a treasure-trove of used trades lately. Today, I picked up Michael Moorcock and Walter Simonson's Elric: the Making of a Sorceror, for $3.99. Cheaper than a single issue! (Also, per GCD, the series started in September 2004 and finished August 2006?) Really good so far, even if it again makes me wish there was an Elric figure!

5. I did pick up the new Fantastic Four, having almost made it without seeing the spoiler. My guess was way off...no spoiler, but it's an untypical comic death: no scene of everyone looking sad over the body, for one thing.

6. That last item probably should've been number four. Or number three. Well, too late now.

7. Also got the last issue of ToyFare, and it doesn't seem like they were planning on it being the last issue. More than once captions and articles mention more info coming next month, presumably not to the theoretical Wizard website coming whenever. A big, last-issue finale extravaganza recapping ToyFare's history and legacy, and maybe getting a congratulations or two, well, that would've been nice, but I guess it was not to be. And there's five bucks a month I can spend on...toys or crack or something, I guess.

8. The new DCUC figures--the Bane wave, with Jonah Hex and the Creeper--and the Green Lantern figures--well, just getting Kyle there--are nowhere to be found locally, as of yet. Disappointing. With a dearth of figures (for me, anyway) recently, eBay has been tempting as heck; especially since loose Lord of the Rings figures seem perfect as background cast for Bastards of the Universe strips. Which I need to start working on. Have a good weekend!

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This is a spoiler for ToyFare #163:

Per Topless Robot and a bunch of other places, ToyFare Magazine ended with the most recent issue. I'm pretty sure Mego Spidey isn't given a big send-off either, but that may be just as well. My copy of #163 is still at the comic shop, and I almost hesitate to get it now; like if I don't, it'll still be going. I don't think I read the first quarterly issues, but I know I've been reading since around #3 or so.

Although it may not have been as good recently, as it was at it's best--the last Twisted ToyFare Theatre I've read was a two-part Masters of the Universe/Inception spoof, that had a few jokes but wasn't great--ToyFare not only gave me a lot of laughs over the years, but you can probably guess that it was pretty influential on the strips I do around here. And as recently as a couple months ago, my oldest nephew found a couple of my issues and loved them; damn near stole them right out from under me.

I'll miss the big checklists of lines like Marvel Legends or DC Direct, and the occasional spotlights of figures that never show up, like the comic book style Watchmen figures. I'll miss the more insane days of the FanFare letters column. And I'll miss word balloons on random figures. Generally, I'll just miss ToyFare, and hope for the best for all its employees.

Oddly, I've had an issue lying next to my computer for a while, since I was going to do a post on the unpainted Shocker Toys pieces previewed some months back, and I wonder if they're ever going to show up either.

And of course, the above isn't the Mego Spidey of so many TTT strips; sadly, he isn't even my childhood one, but a replacement I picked up a few years back. I loved the Megos before Star Wars figures broke it big, and remember taking my Mego Spidey to basketball games as a kid. Pretty obvious where I was headed, then...
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In case you thought I was joking about Redwing hating Sentinels:

From Falcon #2, "Legion!" Written by James Owsley (aka Christopher Priest, of Black Panther and Quantum and Woody) with pencils by Mark "Doc" Bright and inks by Gustovich. About to be crushed by a Sentinel, Falcon pushes his mental rapport with Redwing to its limit. This was later retconned in Avengers (per Kurt Busiek, the Sentinel was malfunctioning and wrong) and in Toyfare, of all places. Reprinted from The Best of Twisted Toyfare Theatre volume 2, quite possibly Cyclops' greatest line in anything, ever:

The only time I really like Cyclops, is when he's not himself. I may have more issues like that, though...
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