Is it traditional in France to refer to your troops as "mes enfants"?

It's used twice this issue! But, this one's got a few twists, even from the usual twisty formula. From 1980, Unknown Soldier #240, "The Hammer of Glory!" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Talaoc. Cover by Don Heck!

This opens with the Unknown Soldier witnessing an execution; as the Scarf, head of the French resistance, has a man shot for selling "the Hammer of Martel" to the Nazis. So far I'm not sure if that was a legitimate historical relic, but Charles Martel was real: he had ruled the Franks from 718 until he died, and had been a fierce warrior. Which makes me wonder, why they think they found it on a battlefield: that's usually be only if he lost, right? Still, the Scarf seems to place a lot of importance on the Hammer being returned if the French are ever going to drive off the Germans; and the Soldier is forced to go along. They get a clue, when Nazis are looting a shop, for supplies for "Goering the fat glutton" to enjoy on a trip to Berlin, to deliver the Hammer to Hitler himself. (I thought they meant Hermann Goring, but no.)

The war had been going for some time by this point, so the Nazis have a lot of elaborate counters to the Resistance's surprise attacks: a hidden "ram engine" to bulldoze blocked train tracks, then a similarly hidden tugboat to rescue their train after it's forced onto a floating bridge. The Scarf is injured, and the Unknown Soldier decides he's going to have to do this one himself before the entire French Resistance is chewed to pieces. But his usual disguises come up short, twice! First, he tries to pass himself off as Goering's cook, but brings the wrong wine; then he tries to infiltrate masked as a local hunter, but is caught since he shot a boar instead of using an arrow.

The captured Soldier gets delivered to Hitler, with the Hammer, but is saved by the sudden and unexpected arrival of--Charles Martel? No, it's the Scarf in disguise: it's surprising for someone else to mask up to save the Unknown Solider, that was his gimmick! Sadly, the pair don't make a run at Hitler, but the Scarf does get a pretty good kill with a hammer throw.

Also this issue: a dedicated subscription ad for Weird War Tales; and another for Unknown Soldier, G.I. Combat, and Sgt. Rock!

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Soy un perdedor, he's a Loser, baby, so why don't--no, stop that!

Honestly, I always misheard that lyric as "Soooo...from head to toe, I'm a loser baby..." But, a classic Loser guest-stars today: from 1980, Unknown Soldier #244, "The Sub That Would Not Die!" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Talaoc.

The bandage-faced Unknown Soldier was in the Pacific Theatre, teaming up with the Losers' PT boat commander, Captain Storm; to try and sink the Japanese "Ghost Sub," which was chewing up American convoys, and seemed able to elude both torpedoes and sonar. Storm works with an old friend, sub captain Wally Edgecomb, to set up a pincer ambush, while the Soldier checks out the islands, looking for a spotter. Somewhat predictably, their first attempt fails miserably, as the Ghost Sub sees all the angles, almost like it was tipped off somehow...not by the parrot, as I first guessed, but it's not a red herring!

Also this issue: bomber short "Big Daddy" with Tom Yeates art; and a Dateline: Frontline story, "Homefront" Written by Cary Burkett, art by Ric Estrada. In the latter, a war correspondent is called back stateside, where he soon meets a young woman gung-ho to get overseas and serve, and he changes his tune to try and talk her out of it. That's it for another week; have a good weekend! Read more!

A Nazi circus! Enemy Ace AND the Viking Commando! Geez, how you gonna top this? Next issue you'll have to shoot Hitler in the face or something.

I don't know if this was intended as a breather before next month's final issue, or if they wanted to burn off these stories before DC's war titles wrapped, or if this is just what they would've done anyway. From 1982, Unknown Soldier #267, featuring "Kid Stuff!" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Talaoc; "War's Last Weapon!" Created and written by Robert Kanigher, art by George Evans; and "A Very Private Hell, part three: Debt of Blood" Again created and written by Robert Kanigher, art by John Severin.

Sadly, the cover makes it seem like it's going to be a full-blown Nazi circus, but it's merely a couple creepy performers who pretend to be refugees, entertaining British kids in Scotland until they show their true colors and kidnap some for a propaganda victory. The Unknown Soldier was a friend of one kid's family, and during the rescue the kid does a pretty good job against a Nazi his own size. "War's Last Weapon!" was the conclusion of the Viking Commando's last story; although the DC wiki claims he appears in the last issue of Weird War Tales. With orderlies trying to have him committed and his valkyrie trying to get him killed so she can have him, Valoric still takes out a Nazi flying saucer and makes time with a pretty nurse. Good one for him to go out on!

I don't know if this would read better collected, because I think this story hit the same beats repeatedly: it's Enemy Ace vs. Balloon Buster, and while the Ace has been captured this time, the American officers seem to like him better than "poor white trash" Savage. Still owing him a fight, Savage tests Von Hammer's Fokker, then lets him free so they can face each other in the skies. Von Hammer gets the drop on him this time, but his guns jam before he can conclude the battle; so Savage gets him to continue on the ground, with a shootout! Savage gets shot there, but refuses to be taken to a doctor: he'll live or die in the sky. As he tries for his home airfield, Von Hammer notices his own fliers spying Savage, and breaks up their attack on him. He doesn't know if Savage made it back or not, and neither do we; although James Robinson would have at least one story with the Balloon Buster much later, as well as tying him into western hero Scalphunter. Read more!

Seventeen pages of story this issue, which doesn't sound like anywhere near enough, but Bob Haney crams it full of graham. I had to recount since I didn't think that was right! From 1979, Unknown Soldier #231, "Bridge of No Return!" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Taloc. 

The "accursed Unknown Soldat," as the Ratzis call him, trades himself for the life of his friend, secret agent Sparrow, who had been captured while trying to trail the new Nazi super-rockets. The one-handed Colonel Steiner is enjoying the hell out of torturing the Soldier, who tortures himself with some flashbacks: he had previously tried and failed to rescue Sparrow, getting all the way into the secret base, but escaping with a decoy Nazi instead. Steiner is building up to a big finish: having the Soldier drawn and quartered in front of der Fuhrer himself, but has to put it off a few days when the Soldier's face bandages get infected and he gets feverish.

Meanwhile, although doctors diagnose him as a "human wreck" that would never recover, Sparrow disappears from the hospital to gather another of the book's regular supporting characters, resistance leader Nightingale, to go rescue the Soldier. Who, for his part, is still on the job: his "infected" bandages were treated with chemicals, and smuggled back to Allied Command with the plans for the Nazis' rockets. Sparrow and Nightingale get into the secret Nazi fortress disguised as chimney sweeps, and they manage to bust the Soldier out during a bombing raid. The Soldier also throws Steiner off the castle wall, saving his prosthetic as a souvenir. I'm not sure that's OK, but eh, it's a Nazi, so whatever.

I swear nine out of ten old Unknown Soldier comics are like this: busy as hell! I'd love to see an series, animated or otherwise, that takes the Inglourious Basterds approach, and U.S. bloodily murders Hitler every week...

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Damn, "Canvas Battlefield" wouldn't be a bad blog name...

Sleestak of Lady, That's My Skull brought up this issue on Twitter in January, and it only took me the better part of three months to randomly stumble across it again: from 1982, Unknown Soldier #262, "Canvas Battlefield!" (Or, from the cover, "Death Paints a 'Canvas Battlefield!'" Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Talaoc.

The basic plot is simple enough: A famous French painter, studiously neutral during World War II, agrees to paint Hitler's portrait; a ruse to get information on Germany's planned defenses against the upcoming D-Day invasion. Being a Bob Haney Unknown Soldier story, there's also the painter's collaborator brother, fake rubber-mask Nazi disguises, and an elaborate switch. And the whole scheme nearly tanks when the painter, disgusted over Hitler and "the sickening business of terrorizing a continent," gets carried away with his painting:

It's shorter than usual for a headline story, a mere eleven pages. Which is kind of a shame, since a lot of space on the cover goes to the other features this issue: a Balloon Buster story, that appears to be his side of the story from his appearance in Enemy Ace, and the return of Revolutionary War hero Tomahawk. Oddly, a deserter faces a firing squad in that story, just as a collaborator is nearly executed by the same in the first. I wouldn't have really thought anything of Tomahawk at the time, but he was a star back in the day, with 140 issues!

My "filing system" is generally neither: usually, I put random, non-sequential loose comics in a box, as many as the box can hold. The box is placed with others like it. Later, when I'm looking for something to read, I'll poke through any given box and pull out whatever grabs me at the moment. When needed, the books go back in another box. I don't file everything that way, and it is a bit of a pain when I've got a specific issue in mind (to the point that I usually have to restrain myself from going to a comic shop and buying another copy!) but it's how I enjoy reading them.

Oddly, I think when I picked up this issue, I got Unknown Soldier #217, where he tries to blow up Hitler with an undiscovered Rembrandt...

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"The End" Week: Unknown Soldier #268!

We checked out the end of the more recent Vertigo version some years back; now let's look at the classic: from 1982, Unknown Soldier #268, "A Farewell to War." Written by Bob Haney, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Gerry Talaoc.

The Unknown Soldier was part of DC's stable of war comics heroes, like Sgt. Rock. His adventures were a little more bombastic, though: an ordinary soldier, horribly burned, but still believing one man in the right place at the right time can make a difference. The Soldier was a master of disguise (wearing Mission: Impossible-style latex masks over the bandaged remains of his face) and fought dozens of missions behind enemy lines and all over the war, culminating in his final battle, parachuting into Berlin April 28, 1945.

Disguised as a doctor, the Soldier joins with Inge, the young assistant of his contact, Sparrow. Sparrow had vital information of a dangerous secret, but is shot by a firing squad before they can reach him. Offering to make sure the "traitor" was dead, the Soldier gets close enough to get Sparrow's dying word: "Nos...fer...atu!"

The SS commandant, Kessler, sees the doctor go off with Inge, a known friend of Sparrow; and suspects. I do believe Kessler had crossed paths with the Unknown Soldier more than once, which I imagine would make a guy super-paranoid. Inge and the Soldier try to run down another lead at the Berlin Zoo, but their source is killed in a riot for food, as the zoo animals are eaten! Then, Inge throws herself on an unexploded bomb, in an attempt to throw suspicion off of the Soldier when Kessler finds them. Her sacrifice is for naught, though, when Kessler tricks the "doctor" with a question about trepanning.

Facing a firing squad, the Soldier manages to open "a gas pipe left exposed by the bombing." The ensuing explosion saves him but destroys his mask, and Kessler realizes it's "the verdammt Unknown Soldier!" On fire, the Soldier escapes into the sewers, where he faces sewer-dwelling thugs and is chased by SS Hellhound troops! Barely escaping to a subway station-turned-makeshift shelter, he is then only saved by the sacrifice of another of his supporting cast, Chat Noir. (Being black, he was in disguise as a clown!) Furious, the Soldier fights Kessler hand-to-hand, killing him by knocking him into the electrified third rail of the subway; then the Soldier disguises himself as der Fuhrer's "favorite S.S. hero!" But then he has to outrace the flooding subway, as the Nazis try to stop the Russians from attacking through it; and this is only the second part of three in this issue, and more has happened than in most comic books' entire year.

Escaping the subway, the Soldier is nearly shot by the Russians, since he almost forgot he was dressed as a Nazi. Still, he makes his way to Hitler's bunker, where he gets a face-to-face with Hitler and his new bride, and a briefing on "Nosferatu." An accidental success in biological warfare using "vampire-bat blood and certain sea octopi" may be the last-ditch secret weapon that could turn the tide for the Nazis, Hitler has a TV camera set up to give the order to drop them on the invading Allies, and the Unknown Soldier has heard plenty. Pulling his gun, he inadvertently surprises Eva Braun into biting into her cyanide capsule, then has to wrestle Hitler, finally forcing Hitler to shoot himself with his own gun.

The TV set-up is important, since the Soldier is then able to disguise himself as Hitler, and give the order to destroy the Nosferatu as unnecessary. Leaving their bodies as suicides, he leaves the bunker, but sacrifices himself to save a child from bombing. Or does he...? As a passing soldier scratches his neck, as the Unknown Soldier occasionally did at his masks, Haney leaves it a little open.

Even if you weren't a fan of the Unknown Soldier, war comics, or fun...there is so much in this issue! Well worth flipping through.



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"The End" Week: Unknown Soldier #25!

This series ended too soon...but it was never gonna end well, was it?

Unknown Soldier #25, "Beautiful World, conclusion" Written by Joshua Dysart, illustrated by Alberto Ponticelli. In Uganda, Moses Lwanga, the Unknown Soldier, is coming for Joseph Kony. Let's just say, it's not the last issue of the series because the Soldier brought peace to all of Africa.


I picked the first half of this series out of the quarter bins, then started getting it regularly, but it was a tough one to read. Based on real life events, things got bad quick and stayed bad. I should go back and read the whole series, but man, I'm depressed already...no, I think I'm going to have to find a last issue with puppies and unicorns next.
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A quick post for Friday:

I forgot to post yesterday, and then was having some computer trouble, but the JLApe posts ran without me. (I hadn't intended for both to go, but oh well.) But, I did finally get to the Comic Book Shop for the first time in a stretch. And there was good news and bad...

First, the good: The new issue of Unknown Soldier barely features the title character at all, and it's great. I'm going to have to keep my eyes open for whatever writer Joshua Dysart has planned after this one ends.

Everything from the Mignolaverse...and I don't know if they call it that...was also excellent: new B.P.R.D., Hellboy, and Baltimore. I need to order the Baltimore novel off Amazon: the miniseries is about a vampire hunter in an altered post-World War I setting. This first issue is set-up, but done well. There's a palpable sense of doom in all three books...in early Hellboy stories, you knew he was going to overcome the planned destiny of his stone right hand. Now, you're not so sure if he will, or even if he should; and Hellboy doesn't even seem like the only one that could end the world.

I also enjoyed the third issue of the Bob Layton Hercules mini; which was pretty much written for me since I liked all the old ones. Some of the jokes fall flat (the too-snarky ad-slogany logo on a terrorist's missile, for example) and you really kinda have to have read the old ones, but still, fun for me. And things continue moving in the Thanos Imperative #3, where Drax the Destroyer's policy on Thanos, friend or foe, is made clear; and Nova pulls a strike team to try and end the war with one strike. (Longtime favorite Quasar is back, and gets to do the slow badass walk to battle with Beta Ray Bill and the Silver Surfer!)

Now, the bad: Well, this first one isn't so much bad as rushed, the last issue of Warlord. Pretty obviously a much-longer storyline is crammed into one issue; which is admittedly better than being cancelled midstream.

The new Toyfare was better than the last couple of issues, but...maybe not as good as it used to be. Ditto Deadpool #1000. The only story I really liked was Howard Chaykin's "Today I am da Man." And that's probably because I like Chaykin's writing and art style; the story's pretty straight-forward, but the dialogue makes it for me. There were a couple others with moments--the last panels of Dean Haspiel's "Nightmare on Elm Tree" made me laugh, because I'm a bad person--but overall, lately Deadpool comics have been nonsense for nonsense's sake; and I dropped the regular Deadpool book from my pull box.

Now, that's not to say I probably won't end up with some: there's a wrestling issue of Deadpool Team-Up that should be good, but all too often that book's taken an idea or pairing that should be a slam dunk, then utterly failed to execute. That Frankencastle/Pool team-up was the last one to really disappoint me, and it was the last one I bought.

But that brings up another point: number of regular DC or Marvel books in my pull box? Zero. I gotta say, it's probably mostly price: there's more than a few books I'd be reading if they were cheaper. But I also have this weird theory...that I need to think about, try and articulate it a little. We'll see if I get it figured out over the weekend!

Oh, and I found a surprise or two in the quarter bins, but those'll keep 'til later! Read more!

Good idea:

John Severin art on Enemy Ace...even if he's fighting his evil double.

Bad idea?

The Unknown Soldier and his girlfriend, Japanese pirate queen Lady Jade; killing a batallion or two of Nazis by donning magic costumes at a haunted French chateau. Uh-huh...

Both stories from Unknown Soldier #261, and both the main ("Hour of the Beast!" Written by Bob Haney, art by Dick Ayers and G. Talaoc.) and the backup ("I am my own Executioner" Written by Robert Kanigher, art by John Severin.) seem to stray pretty far afield of the usual formulas for either the Unknown Soldier or Enemy Ace. But the writing may have been on the wall for DC's stable of war books: Unknown Soldier would end with #268, and even Sgt. Rock wouldn't last much longer. Outside of the occasional reprint series or revival, none of them have been able to stage a comeback. A shame, since I still like it when DC gives a non-superhero book a shot; even if they haven't seemed to hit it big again yet...
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I was going to compare and contrast caption boxes in Unknown Soldier and Deadpool, but...

...it's not like comparing apples and oranges, more like apples and...Oompa-Loompas, or something. Deadpool's caption boxes are mental illness played for laughs, or as a narrative device to take the place of a supporting cast. In the Unknown Soldier, though, that little voice in his head is much, much worse: it's the manifestation of whatever training Dr. Moses Lwanga received that made him the Soldier, a secret that still hasn't been revealed in the book to the reader or to Moses. And that voice might be running the show when Moses isn't looking...


Of course, whereas Deadpool's basically a lighthearted romp through the Marvel universe, Unknown Soldier's setting is based on real-world events in Uganda circa 2002, and it doesn't paint a pretty picture of things. It's not like even the old Our Army at War version was a laugh a minute, but it reads like a screwball comedy compared to this version. Dysart's Soldier is bleak even moreso than the Garth Ennis miniseries, so you know that's bleak. Therefore, unlike most of the comics I buy, Unknown Soldier isn't an easy read. But whatever atrocities you might see in the comic, far worse happened in real life, and with no bandaged antihero to try to steer things along the right way.

Scans from Unknown Soldier #18, "Dry Season, conclusion" Written by Joshua Dysart, art by Alberto Ponticelli. I don't think the single-issue sales for this book are great, but they should be. I lucked into a batch of issues at a dollar a piece, and it's on my pull list now, for as long as it runs...

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