Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Monsters, Norse gods, campaigning: pretty much what it would take to get me to watch C-Span.
Seriously, Mangog and Fin Fang Foom could host the View.  Yak yak yak!
When Mangog, a chatty monster who represents the distilled hatred of a "Billion billion beings" wiped out by Big Daddy Odin, replaces said Odin as ruler of Asgard...well, you'd think Thor would notice the change sooner, since it's still a grouchy, insane, ranting monster. Odin's not a great dad. It's also never really mentioned why exactly Odin was laying down the genocide, except that they were, y'know, evil and monstery and stuff.

Since the rest of the Asgardians are unknowingly worshipping the fake-Odin, Mangog is able to draw power from them, which he uses to mess Thor up. Mangog then claims Thor was trying to overthrow him, and has him chained up in front of Asgard as an example to everyone. But Thor's crew--including Balder, Sif, the Warriors Three, and some girls I don't recognize offhand--are out spreading the word of the fake Odin and rallying the peasants. Citizens. Fellow vikings. Whatever. This goes on for about a page and a half, when really this could be drawn out for months. Months and months. Just like the next election cycle!
I would've watched the debates, if they had been run like this.
Sif and Balder would be the most like conventional politicians: pretty, polite, stick to the talking points, a bit dull.

Karnilla would threaten the hoodoo: listen to her or the sky will quake, toads will fall from the sky, warts for everyone. You know, like Pat Robertson or something. Maybe less evil.

Hogun wouldn't have to appeal to the people, or try to reason with them, or otherwise cajol them. Hogun would point, and they would go.

Fandral would tell long, involved stories that wouldn't have been out of place in either the Canterbury Tales or Penthouse Forum. Maybe both. People would follow him.

I can't tell if the guy Volstagg is sitting on is freaking out as his ribcage caves in, or from Volstagg's lecture. If the only way for him to get votes and support was by sitting on people, hell, it'd still be close, Volstagg could very conceivably sit on a lot of people.

The shield-maiden Hildegarde's approach would be very similar to Hogun's, except there would be some jackass to give issue at listening to a "mere wench," which would lead to a brief interlude of a substantial, well-deserved beating.

I imagine Odin's Vizier as sounding a lot like Bob Dole, or the Bob Dole from the Simpsons: refers to himself in the third person a lot, doddering, prone to long stories and general annoyance. Gets the seniors out.

For the life of me, I have only the vaguest idea who the last girl in the purple hat and cape is. Nanna? Sigyn? Anyone have this one, let me know.
Um, Thor, Asgard's been gone for like three years...which explains a lot, yeah.
From Thor #250, "If Asgard Should Perish...!" Written and edited by Len Wein, art by John Buscema and Tony DeZuniga.

1 comment:

SallyP said...

The last girl is actually Hildegard's baby sister. I have this issue, but I don't feel like pawing through the boxes, so I must admit that her name escapes me for the moment.

But a funny review, thanks!