80-Page Thursday: House of Mystery #259!

No cover scan this time, this copy only has a smidge barely hanging on! From 1978, House of Mystery #259. Cover by Joe Orlando and Dick Giordano.

This time, the framing sequence is fairy queen Stardust, who has crashed in front of the House; but will die without belief to sustain her. Abel believes in her, and surprisingly, so does Cain, who opens with "The Miracle at San Sebastian." (A real place I suspect drawn with no reference! I almost think the town and mission were taken from an episode of Have Gun, Will Travel.) The town is being sucked dry by a vampire, and the local priest laments, even as he's able to save a little girl, that he was too old and frail to stop the monster. He might have a little help coming, though. (Framing sequence written by Paul Kupperberg, pencils by Ric Estrada, inks by Romeo Tanghal; "The Miracle at San Sebastian" Written by Roger McKenzie, art by Noly Panaligan.)

Next, another voodoo number, "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!" These probably aren't especially culturally sensitive, but this one at least has art from the great Michael Golden! (Story by David Manak and David Michelinie.) A murderous treasure hunter tries to use a young boy, to extort the treasure from his grandma, a voodoo witch. (No prizes for guessing it doesn't go great!) Then, a somewhat rare sci-fi number, "Return to Camelot Seven," in which two space cops visit said planet, only to find the human colony destroyed, and the local natives on the warpath. Still, the natives had been in the right, as the humans had been infected--literally--with greed, for the native's local metal. (Written by Steve Clement, pencils by Don Newton, inks by Bob Layton.)

"Do You Believe In..." finds a Victorian mugger, dismayed that his young daughter spent too much time listening to a kindly couple's fairy tales, when she could be earning her keep. Yeah, she was probably like six! Lazy freeloader...of course, he'll get his, sure enough. (Written by Greg Potter, art by John Fuller.) Abel then gets to tell some stories, starting with "Never Steal from a Blind Man." (Story idea by Michael Pell, script by Maxene Fabe, art by Flor Dery.) After nearly getting nicked, mugger Nicky Pardon considers changing his ways, but doesn't want to give up the fun, so he decides to limit his robberies to the blind. Less eyewitnesses; but again, he'll get his.

"Fire Sale" finds a nightclub owner planning arson, not only to cash in on the insurance money, but also to get the secrets of magic out of the Incredible Santini: the owner believed, at least some of Santini's act was legit magic. The fire kills about forty people, which I feel like would cut into any insurance payout; but the owner drags Santini away and ties him up, to get the secrets of his power, and to make a deal with the devil...(Written by Bob Toomey, art by George Ruppert and Frank Chiaramonte.) Then, in "Vampiress of Central Park," Lady Zarko takes a nighttime stroll in Central Park, looking for a drink: she is of course the titular vampiress, and drains the first mugger to cross her, although he then returns as a vampire himself, more quickly than expected. With his gang, the new vampire then tries to take Zarko, but they had forgotten vampires' other powers...and weaknesses. (Written by Don Glut, pencils by Juan Ortiz, inks by Vince Colletta.)

Finally, a young chump blows his savings at cards, when he misses drawing the "Jack of Diamonds." His wife is disappointed, but understanding; which probably just makes him feel worse, which leaves him open to a deal with the devil. The chump is not up on the legalese in the contract, but the devil explains the main clause: for the rest of the night, he would win at gambling without fail, but tomorrow would forfeit his soul. Sure enough, he then cleans up, but the devil returns for his soul in the morning. Luckily, his wife was able to parse out the conditions of the contract, and points out a contradiction: if he wins without fail, technically that wasn't 'gambling,' so...The devil concedes, rather graciously, y'ask me; while the chump promises to never gamble again. He looks real dumb, though; I'm not sure even that took. (Written by Bob Toomey, art by Rubeny.)

The framing sequence ends with Stardust rescued, of course. House of Mystery was an 80-page Dollar Comic from #251 to this issue: #251 had a Neal Adams cover I remember from a house ad, as moderately terrifying, since it was barely a glimpse! I thought I had grabbed that sometime, but so far we've seen #253 last week, and #256 a few years back.