Superman #309 is one of the earliest comics I can remember reading; so I was thrilled to get this one that looks and seems to read like it could've been the very next issue, not three years later! From 1980, Superman #347, "The Sleeper Out of Time!" Written by Gerry Conway, art by José Luis García-López.

The "bad guy" this month isn't; it's an alien courier, that had been delivering a peace treaty, but had crashed on earth. While that's what gets the cover and all, it still feels secondary to other things going on; like Lois Lane going after Superman perhaps more "fragrantly" than usual; although she does still bail on their date to try and get the story to the Planet. She's not thrilled to be scooped by Clark, and while he seemed to antagonize her there, he seems concerned that their rivalry seemed to be getting more intense. The Planet drama barely misses a beat from #309, too.

Sadly, this was about JLGL's last on this title: he would appear on the Mr. Mxyzptlk back-up in #351, though. Read more!

This was back when getting caught in hypocrisy might've stopped someone. You know, never.

It was nice to see the future Tigra in this one, but the rest is a bit thin: from 1973, Marvel Team-Up #8, "The Man-Killer Moves at Midnight!" Written by Gerry Conway, art by Jim Mooney.

Greer Nelson had come from Chicago to NYC, on the trail of rabid feminist activist Man-Killer, who had already murdered an anti-Woman's Lib politician and knocked out the Cat in her escape. She enlists Spidey's help, since she knows he's cool. Meanwhile, Man-Killer beats a bodyguard to death, to show her group she means business: she had been an Olympic skier, injured in a race with a male chauvinist. She then had to retrain herself with the aid of a powered exo-skeleton, which gave her incredible strength, which she and her group were going to use to blow up a power station in Harlem...for reasons? Equality reasons?

Man-Killer is eventually beaten, not by getting punched down; but when the Cat points out for all her man-hating, that didn't stop her from accepting help and funding from the fine fellows of Advanced Idea Mechanics! (You could ask if there were female scientists at A.I.M, but I'm pretty sure we wouldn't see any for years.) Man-Killer's rage goes into vapor-lock, but she would return. Because she was a super-strong female thug, Man-Killer had a fairly long career; usually to be angry and/or butch. Sadly, she was killed off in 2017, in Thunderbolts Volume 3 #12, by Kobik. Kobik? Oof, you should ask for a do-over on that one. Read more!

"Spritzer."

Ah, I'm feeling a million times better than I did last week, so getting into it: I had to try and consult an X-Men reading order, to try and make sense of when Longshot joins. Because, just following Nightcrawler, it doesn't make sense: Kurt was MIA after disappearing in Uncanny #209. During the fight with Nimrod, he was going to try to teleport part of the robot; but Rogue had used that trick on him before, and Nimrod was ready for it. Only Kurt's costume remained; but Kitty, Illyana, and Piotr would find him next month in #210; where they save him from an angry mob: he had caught a nasty beating, and was seemingly unable to teleport. The reading order puts X-Men Annual #10 next, where Longshot joins, and Kurt is seemingly fine there; then still injured again in Uncanny #211, where he would be put into a coma and written out of the book. Longshot wouldn't appear again until Uncanny #215. Still, we do get to see Kurt take a stab at Mojo in X-Men Annual #10, so okay? Kurt (and Kitty) both really believed the X-Men were dead, and felt like they had let down their friends by not being there, either to help or die with them; but Longshot was there for them? A spacey alien they'd known for figuratively, about five minutes? I feel like that would sting for them. Read more!

That first panel's pretty much the reason we read this, sure.

When we checked out Uncanny X-Men #29, I mentioned how the cover didn't seem to line up with the interior; and I just read #23 and #24, and they don't either, or at least not very well. This cover has got Goth Dazzler, for reasons probably not actually within the issue: from 2014, Uncanny X-Men #24, written by Brian Michael Bendis, art by Kris Anka.

This was the, I don't know, rival schools era of X-Men? (Not to be confused with Rival Schools, which was like a million times more fun.) Some were at the Mansion, now renamed Jean Grey's School for Gifted Youngsters; while others were with Cyclops, in his red-X, "New Mutant Revolution" phase. Both factions seem to kind of hate each other, and also some people are on sides I wouldn't expect them to be on? Kitty was on Team Cyke; I'm not sure how, unless she was rebelling against her mentors Wolvie and Storm. Still, She-Hulk tells the Jean Grey crowd that Cyclops has to be there, for the reading of Charles Xavier's will. Beast says he knows where he is, although he didn't tell the others: not out of loyalty to Scott, but because he couldn't stand him and "(didn't) want my life to be his life." Rachel, Firestar, and Kurt show up; then Wolverine comes in late, to admit he didn't own the school anymore: he had signed it over to Charles, just in case. Storm fears, the will would give it to Scott; since there's no way Charles would have expected him to kill him...Beast reveals Cyclops had been hiding out, in the old Weapon X facility, as it would've been the last place Wolverine would've looked; which he seemingly accepts with a wry smile. Well played, dickhead.

There's then seven pages, with new super-mutant Matthew, who blew up a town: Maria Hill tries to talk with him via remote, but it doesn't go well; and that plot's gonna run several more issues. Yay. Storm, Iceman, and Beast go to get Cyclops: while all of the other X-Men appear to be up and in costume, Cyclops is in bed? That's weird. When told of the reading, he claims he doesn't want it, but maybe changes his mind about going when he sees Wolverine glowering at him from the plane. Illyana teleports him, Kitty, Emma, and (goth) Dazzler for the reading. The color palette this issue isn't doing She-Hulk any favors, but she reads the will; and the first bombshell was that Xavier attests he was married--not to Magneto, that would've made sense; but to Raven Darkholme. She-Hulk tries to recollect where she's heard that name, but everyone else--the X-Men and the readers!--knew her as Mystique. Before that can sink in, a Shi'ar hologram of Xavier is activated, and he tells them about compromise, and was about to reveal his darkest secret...which, I'm 90% sure ties back to Matthew. Pffft. (Just like yesterday's Deadpool, this was an Original Sin crossover; although it doesn't seem to involve Uatu's eye or anything, just a secret sin revealed.)

Hey, Magneto doesn't appear this issue? I'd be surprised if he wasn't in that will, or if there wasn't any stipulations for him to be there. Also, the reason Dazzler was going dark (figuratively speaking) was that she had been captured and tortured by Mystique: I know she's on a face-turn now, but still feels like there's a lot of things she would've had to answer for. We're a few years removed from this era, so unless you're willing to read a bunch of X-books at once, I think it might be tough to recall who did what to piss off who at any given point. A few more of Bendis's trademark wisecracks hit this month than usual, though. Read more!

Oh, I thought they were joking about the cover.

"This is the One with the Super-Rare 3-D Cover!" but I just got the plain vanilla one! Which I thought was going to be for the musical issue, but that was 2012's #49.1; this is 2014's Deadpool #34, written by Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn, art by Scott Koblish. 

The musical gimmick may be preferable than what they actually went with here, for some of you: this was part of Original Sin, if you remember that one. Without getting into it, suffice to say big dark secrets are being revealed about everybody, and this is Deadpool's turn; but since this is Deadpool it's also an excuse to pull an unused issue from the 1990's out of inventory. Not really! But the bulk of the story is in a faux-90's style, when "inkers used 900% more lines per page" and anatomy was just a suggestion. (Probably a lot of work to draw "bad" like that, on purpose!) 

At the time, Deadpool was an assassin; mind-wiped regularly: Sabretooth wonders, how far gone was he? What could you make him do? Curious, Pool's doctor/handler, Butler, suggests having him kill his parents; as a test, and for funsies.

Pool and Sabretooth drive to Canada, with Creed maybe starting to have second thoughts about this one, while Pool is just "a job's a job." He doesn't even seem to remember being from Canada--wait, is Creed from Canada as well? One thing that's definitely Canadian, though: Alpha Flight! In their mid-90's glory...maybe "glory" isn't the right phrase. Cue five page fight scene--with a splash page intro, and double-page spread. 

After ditching Alpha Flight, Sabretooth and Pool end up at a dive bar's open mike mic night, before Deadpool leaves to complete the job: in a silent sequence, he turns on the gas, turns off the smoke detectors, and burns down what might be his childhood home and his parents. (Or, whatever poor chumps lived there now!) Pool remains tightlipped as Sabretooth picks him up. 

The next day, Pool seems more himself as he heads to work, but is confronted by Power Man and Iron Fist! (In a bit of continuity error, or at least fudging some dates: I don't think Luke would've had the black leather then, since this was supposedly before their last issue, which was from 1986!) They're just helping Carm find deadbeat dad Deadpool, who hadn't realized she had had his kid. Butler has Carm step inside, so he can surreptitiously take a blood sample from baby Ellie; then Deadpool warns Carm to get away from him, and Butler. Pool also remembers Butler's bird, which indicates a tolerance to the mind-wiping treatments, and he storms off, swearing never to return. That just means Butler has to take other methods to get his samples, like having Deadpool brought in from "sleeping in a crime scene," but Butler may be more interested in baby Ellie now...

Back in the present, Agent Adsit recounts his vision--up to Pool and Creed driving back from Canada--to Preston, as Pool plays "pull my finger" with the young Ellie: they know Pool doesn't know, and sure as fun don't want him to. 

If I'm not mistaken, Ellie is still in-continuity, but Pool doesn't remember her; and probably nobody is going to bring her up, so...Anyway, Pool's continuity was already a quagmire, remember T-Ray, and the question of if Pool was really "Wade Wilson" or not? And in Priest's run, I don't think Pool really knew his dad. You can kind of do whatever with him, as long as it's funny. Or has a lot of lines. 

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That's pretty good gobbledygook for off-the-cuff; usually you'd have to get AI to generate that.

Kind of a corny issue (Boo!) but we'll take a quick gander at 1978's House of Mystery #261. Cover by Michael Wm. Kaluta.

In "The Husker," a Depression-era put-upon husband is henpecked into answering a help-wanted sign at a farm, despite have no farming experience, and it's unclear how his naggy wife thought that was going to lead to the high life, either. The job poster is obviously Death, so he tries to get out of it, but hey, a job's a job, right? Even if it's reaping souls by...eating corn? Sure. (Written by Greg Potter, art by Jerry Grandenetti.)

"Gypsy Shade" is one of about a million stories I've read, where a spirit has to take revenge on a Nazi for the Holocaust; particularly since the authorities seem to be doing a piss-poor job of it. Anna Klein had horded gold "liberated" from the prisoners, but manages to win out at trial, and returns home to her cherished lamp, with a golden shade she would soon melt down and cash in. But, the tattoos of a gypsy avenge their owner. (Written by Arnold Drake, art by Jess Jodloman.)

"Jungle Demon" has a witch doctor treating an English patient, as "Gomanji! The jungle demon!" terrorizes the countryside. The treatment involves a voodoo doll of him, so yeah, I could see him being suspicious. (Written by Bill Kelley, art by Rubeny.)

"In the Two Faces of Death!" features a butcher plagued by nightmares where he was accused of killing his wife. Which was more confusing than anything, he didn't have a wife. Then he loses his job, kills Death, and gets the chair for it...? Can't make heads or tails of that one; but the art is by Arthur Suydam, who would later do a million Marvel Zombies covers and such. (Story by Steve Skeates.) Read more!

We mentioned this back in 2021, and we're just getting around to it now; that counts as timely for me! From 2004, DC Comics Presents Hawkman #1, featuring "Visitors Day" Written by Cary Bates, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Lary Stucker; and "Love is in the Air" Written by Kurt Busiek, pencils by Walt Simonson, inks by Bob Wiacek. Cover by José Luis García-López and Kevin Nowlan; in homage to Murphy Anderson's cover to Hawkman #6.

This was one of eight tribute issues to DC editor Julius Schwartz, and the last one to blog here! In "Visitors Day," extra-dimensional aliens visit Julius on his subway ride to work, to tell him about alternate realities, and that his cover story--Hawkman vs. a flying gorilla--could poke a hole in the multiverse, if it isn't resolved. Hey, that's the creative team's problem! Schwarz hashes out a plot with (I presume) Gardner Fox to resolve the problem.

But, I liked the second story better: "Love is in the Air." Hawkgirl is interested in the quaint earth "rituals" surrounding Valentine's Day, but Katar's mind is occupied with both museum work and Hawkman stuff, since both the Shadow-Thief and Matter Master were at large. (There's a brief appearance from Mavis Trent, a supporting character I just love: she's basically stalking Carter Hall, with Shiera right there!) Shiera feels slighted that Carter's all business and stomps off, and Carter has a talk with Commissioner Emmett, who asks how they got together, prompting a tale involving a savage winged gorilla! No spoilers, but it reminds Carter how important Shiera is, and he takes the time to Valentine it up right. (Shadow-Thief and Matter Master killed dozens and stole the Declaration of Independence--I'm joking, they were caught later.)

There's a Julie Schwartz tag for all of them, but you can check out the other tribute issues with the Atom, Green Lantern, Flash, Batman, Superman, Adam Strange, and the Justice League of America. Read more!

"Longshot."

No commentary today; I'm sick! Either I got "con crud" from the show, or my kids got me sick; which they used to all the time. Read more!

It's another Quality 2000 A.D. reprint, so I'm pretty much obligated to blog it.

From the cross-sell ad on the back, I know I was reading Judge Dredd and the earlier reprint title the Law of Dredd at the time; but this was a series I didn't read until much, much later: from 1989, Bad Company #9, featuring stories from 1987's 2000 AD #519 and #548. Written by Peter Milligan, pencils by Brett Ewins, inks by Jim McCarthy.

These two stories were the end of the first main story arc, and the beginning of another; and the main viewpoint characters of the book (Mac, Danny, and "Mad" Tommy) find out the secret of the black box their missing commander, Kano, had left behind; which contained half of Kano's brain. Tommy knew most of this: in the war against the alien Krool--who were about as bad as they sound--they had captured and experimented on Kano; in an attempt to get past their "evolutionary limits." Kano had, in a complicated and painful series of operations, been given half a Krool brain, which explained why he looked like Cable with a Frankenstein square-head. Kano eventually escaped, but wasn't quite himself, or human: Tommy pretended to be insane, largely to keep Kano from murdering him to keep his secrets buried; although he was probably more than a bit insane by then as well. Tommy had actually given Kano the black box, telling him it was the human half of his brain: it totally wasn't; it was just some dead soldier's; but Kano needed to hear that so he could manage to go on. As they leave the planet, Danny leaves his diary behind; telling Mac if Kano didn't need the box, he could leave the diary as well.

What was left of humanity was scattered throughout the "ghetto" planets, at the start of the next storyline; with Danny the de facto leader of Bad Company. They're given a new member--an alien Protoid, who had his own secrets and motives, but a nicer ship--and a new mission: find and stop a mysterious killer, that had been slaughtering humans and Krools alike. (It's Kano; I don't think it's intended to be a surprise.) I was surprised to realize Milligan had written this: it feels a lot like a classic British war strip; just with sci-fi elements and the nihilism turned up to 11. 

Also this issue: the start of short-lived strip "Project Overkill," which featured a passenger pilot sucked into a conspiracy and on the run, Fugitive-style. Ian Gibson art, though! And another chapter of "Mean Arena; which was partly about the violent future sport of "street football" but also a quest for revenge. That one's slightly more remembered, and had a brief relaunch in 1993.

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