"Labelmaker."

So the Blame apparently has the magic computer voice, like the Magic Voice on MST3K, or more commonly as seen on Star Trek; or more currently Gideon on Legends of Tomorrow. I'm not sure about the Blame's voice yet, but she doesn't seem quite as helpful.

There is allegedly a rhyme and reason to the course and heading numbers on Star Trek, but in practice they're usually a random string of numbers, like the stardates at the start of an episode.

Nightcrawler's upper range of teleporting is supposed to be maybe three miles in a single shot, mmmmmaybe carrying two people in an emergency. There's a few ways he can cheat that, like going further with a bunch of short jumps instead of one big one; or in his last solo series by using Bamfs as anchors: he could follow anywhere they could 'port, and they could go anywhere. But in recent Marvel continuity he seems to be able to go wherever the plot needs him too...
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In the prestige format Alterniverse story--oh, just call it "What If?" and be done with it--The Last Avengers Story, several Avengers are already dead or missing when the story begins. Among them, Thor and Hercules, who disappeared when they went to save Asgard and Olympus. Both gods took a mortal "second" with them, Thor picking the Thing, and Herc taking the Hulk: only the Hulk would return, but he wouldn't be the same afterwards...Still, I thought Peter David nailed the idea that Thor and the Thing would be friends, possibly since neither of them get along with the Hulk...anyway, The Last Avengers Story wouldn't fit in the scanner, so we've got an old one instead: from 1976, Marvel Two-in-One #22, "Touch Not the Hand of Seth!" Story by Bill Mantlo, pencils by Ron Wilson, inks by Pablo Marcos.

Ben spends the bulk of this issue with the Human Torch, getting last month's villain, Blacksun, to the hospital. (A brief aside: I had thought Blacksun, Thomas Lightner, went on to become D-list supervillain Lightmaster, but was mistaken. Instead, Lightner became the Nth Man--unrelated to the Larry Hama title!--then a mystic type on the Squadron Supreme's earth!) At said hospital, Dr. Donald Blake is mid-surgery when Egyptian death-god Seth comes for him, or rather his alter-ego Thor. Ben's always up to help out, but may be regretting it when Seth brings forth his armies of the dead!

I still think Captain America is Thor's favorite mortal, but it's pretty easy to see why he would like Ben, too. This issue's a bit of set-up, may have to do some scans from the conclusion later.


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That really doesn't seem like enough food...

We saw the previous issue a couple months back, and we're not going to get anywhere near all the way through the AvX crossover; but we'll check out another one today: from 2012, Avengers #28, written by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils by Walt Simonson, inks by Scott Hanna.

This was midway through the crossover, when Cyclops, Namor, Emma Frost, Colossus and Magik each had a piece of the Phoenix Force; and things were looking bad for the Avengers. Through the skirmishes with the mutants, the Red Hulk, former general "Thunderbolt" Ross, wonders what he brings to the proverbial table. Is he just a blunt instrument, or does his military experience give him something else to offer? Since Ross decides he can do what Captain America or Wolverine couldn't, maybe; but since he decides to assassinate Cyclops, maybe not.

Changing back to human, Ross infiltrates Utopia Island, but runs into Emma before he can kill Cyclops. Emma's mental powers shut him down, and she nearly forces Ross to slit his own throat before he Hulks out again. Facing the Phoenix Five (and Magneto, for good measure) the Red Hulk is outgunned, but they also know he would be too tough to contain or kill. They settle for sending him back to the Avengers in Wakanda, with a big 'X' carved into his chest. Still, Ross feels like Cyclops and his team just lost, by not killing him.


Since the previous issue featured Protector washing out of the team, I had half-expected this to be Red Hulk's swan song, but he wasn't out yet. Still, if you're asking yourself, what do I have to contribute? and the answer's murder; you may want to reconsider your life choices. Also, Ross's ego must be visible from space; since how could he consider his military experience the equal of Cap's? Ross lost how many campaigns against the Hulk?

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Honestly, I'm not the hugest Jerry Lewis fan...

From 1995, Shadow of the Bat #38, "Tears of a Clown" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Barry Kitson, inks by Scott Hanna.

The Joker was at it again in this two-parter, with a seemingly more personal crime than usual, having kidnapped spectators that had been in the audience when a pre-Red Hood comedian bombed. (Some of the crowd had been part of a college comedy club, and may have heckled him mercilessly.) The kidnap victims had explosive collars on them, set to go off if they laugh, but the Joker isn't particular how this lot dies...!

Batman tracks the Joker down, and has it almost sewn up, when he's hit from behind by bounty hunter Wild; who isn't after the Joker for cash but revenge for his murdered family. Despite having the Joker dead to rights, Wild hesitates a moment too long, and gets a face-full of Joker gas for his trouble. Batman has to save the probably permanently-insane Wild from a bomb, and the Joker escapes.

Much of the Joker's remembrances here are from the Killing Joke, although a little lip service is paid to the idea that those memories may or may not have happened. But if they would've had to, at least in part, for the victims to have something in common.
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Last week we took a look at a Blue Devil story from Showcase '93, and although we didn't scan it at the time, it ended with the third or fourth return of BD's first villain, the devil Nebiros.

Going back through the blog, we've seen him in passing from Blue Devil #1 and Secret Origins #24; in this Showcase appearance Nebiros seems a little more bug-eyed than usual, but it keeps him from being too scary. Or completely generic, like today's book! From 2013, DC Universe Presents: Black Lightning and Blue Devil #14, "Grave Matters" Written by Marc Andreyko, pencils by Robson Rocha, inks by Oclair Albert.

This was part of the New 52 relaunch, an anthology title that had already cycled through Deadman, the Challengers of the Unknown, Kid Flash, and Vandal Savage. Revamping and pairing up Blue Devil and Black Lightning--two characters I'm not positive met before in the old continuity--their villains Nebiros and Tobias Whale were also redesigned. In Nebiros's case, the redesign is a bit too generic demon monster, less gangly weirdness and more biped beefcake. I had a hard time placing him or differentiating Nebiros from Nekron or Skeletor or such. His legs look a little more funky on the last page, though.

Black Lightning's look seems pretty traditional, while Blue Devil open-chested shirt is a bit weird. It's also a bit weird that BD kills several thugs this issue, seemingly blasting their souls right out of their bodies. Andreyko does a couple interesting things with BD's origin, though: the suit being a "demon skin suit," a legacy from Dan Cassidy's grandfather, who used mystic artifacts and creatures to make B-movies. If magic was powered by belief, making them laughingstocks drained their power. (Which might be causing Dan problems: the more success he has as Blue Devil, the more he believes, and the more powerful and uncontrollable the suit becomes...)

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"Strike."

I mentioned this years ago, but I liked how Silver Surfer writer Ron Marz portrayed Galactus as a somewhat disgruntled, put-upon boss. But he's not the boss, is he? While we've seen him interact with Eternity (and maybe Infinity?) I don't know if he's their equal, or rather their subordinate.

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Get reincarnated like three hundred times, maybe you'd be suave as hell too.

Aside from the constant need to reboot, relaunch, and retcon him; I'd say Hawkman's biggest problem is that when a creative team finds something that works for the character, by god they're going to ride that horse into the ground. I don't know if this issue is there, yet, but...from 2004, Hawkman #29, "Fate's Warning, part 2 of 4" Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, pencils by Ryan Sook, inks by Mick Gray.

This was mid-way through Hawkman's possibly most successful revival, the origin involving multiple reincarnations for himself and Hawkgirl. While they had been lovers in all their prior incarnations, they weren't here yet; and this issue Carter Hall was working his sexy "professor voice" on pretty jazz singer Domina Paris. He was using his museum to pick her up, which seems somehow crazy impressive here. Meanwhile, Hawkgirl had been continuing to fight crime in St. Roch, and may have been at least a little jealous; at least some of the cops didn't like the Hawks, and the sensationally-named "Angel Killer" had been murdering people and leaving the bodies staged in poses like said Hawks. Attempting to save a victim, Hawkman is surrounded by the cops at the end of the issue...

If this hadn't been the second part of four, Domina's fate might not seem as obvious as it does here: that she's totally dooooooomed. But she's also shown as prone to "spells," possibly having second sight. She describes blood and feathers and a monster wanting her to sing to him; Kendra almost seems to put more credit in Domina's prophecy than Carter does. On the other hand, without the grounding influence of Kendra, Carter seems more curious about what his life would be like with a new love. You may have to keep wondering, Carter; but I wonder if this issue wasn't a tipping point for overuse of the reincarnation angle. Possibly because I was thinking Domina may have herself been reincarnated, but she may have merely been precognitive...

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Hey, he got Travis Morgan's fortune cookie!

From 1993, Showcase '93 #5, featuring "The Takedown" Written by Doug Moench, pencils by Kieron Dwyer, inks by Dick Giordano; "Seed of Destruction" Written by Gary Cohn and Dan Mishkin, pencils by Pete Moriarty, inks by Dan Davis; and "The Ghost in the Machine" Written by Mike W. Barr, pencils by Bryan Hitch, inks by John Beatty.

As is increasingly prevalent around here, this is a random comic (probably picked up during a Hastings sale) that I don't have the previous issues for; but the opening story features Robin versus Cuban crime boss Ramon Bracuda. With Batman unavailable, and Commissioner Gordon dealing with bent cops, and Robin's erstwhile back-up Catwoman ditching him; Robin has to bring Bracuda in single-handed; and starts his attempt by whacking him with a quarterstaff while the crime boss was enjoying a steam. Doesn't seem very sporting, but Bracuda puts up a helluva fight, even after his hair catches fire. Despite having both a preternatural resistance to pain, and about a hundred pounds and several inches on him, Bracuda still loses; with Robin both feeling like he'd proven himself, and wishing his boss was there.

There's also a chapter of a Blue Devil serial from his original writers, in which Dan Cassidy is briefly freed from the Blue Devil suit, then stuck right back in it. Still, this was well before Blue Devil's redesigns, and the original look is far more charming. Also charming: the art in the final feature, early work from Bryan Hitch that feels very Alan Davis. Unfortunately, it's for a Geo-Force story, so, enh.

"Expect the Unexpected" was a common refrain in old issues of Warlord. And on the opening theme of Tiny Toons, now that I think of it.

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No offense to the guy that plays Mon-El.

Last year's season finale for Supergirl wrapped with a mysterious pod arriving from Krypton; Supergirl opens it up, to discover...we wouldn't find out until next season, but I was hoping for Streaky. Supergirl's super-powered cat would've brought a lot of crazy to the table. Anyway, turns out it was Mon-El in the pod. That's pretty good. I guess.

Huh, looking it up, Streaky lost his powers before I was even born: he got powers from "Kryptonite-X," accidentally created by Supergirl while looking for a cure to Kryptonite. In 1971's Superman #233 all the Kryptonite on earth was turned into inert iron (because at that point, every gangster and his mom had some) and poor Streaky was left powerless. Still, I mainly remember him from Legion of Super-Heroes stories with the Legion of Super-Pets. They had a dog, a cat, a monkey and a horse that all had at least most of Superman's powers, and a shapeshifting blob to boot! The LSH was maybe two members away from a complete beating...look, in continuity, I don't think 99 super-teams out of a hundred could beat the Super-Pets. "They have all of Superman's powers! And they're biting!"

Anyhow, got the Darwyn Cooke Supergirl the other day, and while she's pretty swell, Krypto and Streaky sold it for me. K & S had been part of a box set with Superboy and Supergirl, all appropriately Silver Age-style, but I missed that one. These are pretty great, with the added bonus of making me want to re-read New Frontier.

Missed the other day out sick--do I get sick a lot? The Wife thought so, and, hmm, maybe. Couldn't even drag myself to the computer, and not so sure about now, either. Take some vitamin C and call it, we'll try again next week!
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"Disclosure."

That stupid file was first mentioned almost two years ago, in "Housesit." And it may have only been a joke at the time, but after multiple episodes of people showing up to steal it (and S.H.I.E.L.D. running a sting to pick up criminals trying for it) I had an idea for what was in it. Namely, that having Kurt's name in it but scratched would be dramatic. Wolverine's name is in there as well, but I believe his corpse is encased in adamantium somewhere; even if you knew where it was, it might be problematic to get.

I'm pretty sure Peter David gave Multiple Man a pretty satisfying ending when X-Factor wrapped, so of course that was crapped all over in the recent crossover Death of X. Which I won't recommend, even if Cyclops is killed off. Still, Multiple Man has had dupes killed all over the place, there's probably more out there; but trying to keep track of his corpses would be a job.

But what would someone do with mutant (and superhero) corpses? And genetic material...there's a few answers, coming up later!

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