80-Page Thursdays: Superman Family #190!

From 1978, Superman Family #190, "The Museum of Eternity" Story idea by Tom DeFalco and E. Nelson Bridwell; written by DeFalco, Bridwell, Gerry Conway, Bob Toomey, Paul Kupperberg, and Jack C. Harris; with art by Jack Abel, Ken Landgraf, Juan Ortiz, Win Mortimer, Kurt Schaffenberger, and more.

This was the last 80-pager for this title, and they went out with a "full-length Superman family novel!" that ran through all the usual features: Krypto, Nightwing and Flamebird, Supergirl, Jimmy Olsen, and Lois Lane. Oh, and Superman too. Although King Cougar's gang just tried to wack him at the Daily Planet, Jimmy has a bigger story drop in his lap when a call from his dad drops off: his entire hometown of Hartsdale has disappeared! Not due to an entire generation leaving rural America for the promise of better paying jobs and social opportunities in urban areas, literally disappeared. Jimmy suspected Brainiac, but knew he was in "space prison!" Still, after seeing a rabbit hop through a dimensional rip, Jimmy watches an armed alien come through, and can 'hear' him telepathically. The alien takes a shot at him, and Jimmy responds with a pretty impressive kick to the face. Helping himself to the alien's clothes, he investigates the rip and discovers an alien museum, with dozens of habitats stolen from earth. After he overhears the aliens planning a Kryptonian exhibit, Jimmy decides maybe it's time to call in Superman, but is discovered and jumped by the returning first alien. Desperate, Jimmy activates his signal watch, and throws it through the rip.

Meanwhile, Superman watches Lois Lane wave from Kandor: wearing special "gravity boots" to survive the Kryptonian conditions, she was visiting to get an interview with "Golden Age great" TNT. (Looking it up, post-Crisis TNT died in WWII. Possibly several different times...) Hearing Jimmy's watch, Supes investigates the empty site of Hartsdale, finds Jimmy's watch, and wrestles open a shrinking dimensional rip; which takes him to a methane-filled environment filled with angry green locals. Following more rips to different earth settings, Superman starts to wonder if he's being led, as he's weakened by an orange sun habitat. One of the aliens, calling himself "an apprentice curator of the preservers" takes a shot at him; to lure Superman into charging with him into a red sun area--and Superman recognizes the buildings there, from Kandor!

With Kandor enlarged, Lois is by Superman's side shortly, with Nightwing and Flamebird arriving shortly thereafter. But the curators send in a "purifier" robot, for Lois, since she doesn't belong in the Kryptonian exhibit. While the guys get clobbered, Lois figures out how to work her gravity boots like the Atom's weight controls, and is kicking the robot's ass, until it dissolves her boots and she can't even stand up in the higher gravity. Lois gets thrown into a cell next to Jimmy, with a robot getting ready to dissect them both; but Lois fakes being knocked out and kicks out the robot's optics. Chased by the purifier, Lois throws it into a generator, destroying it. Jimmy has information gleaned from the aliens' minds: the captives are exhibits in a cosmic museum, prevented from breaking out by a telepathic mental block. While they try to reach Kandor on a stolen hovercraft, the aliens threaten to retaliate against earth...in forty minutes or so, I guess.

Meanwhile, Krypto has also been captured, and is sent to the Kandor exhibit in a laser cage; which begs the question why cage him inside a bigger cage? Nightwing and Flamebird use their science to get Krypto out, and gear him up: the mental block doesn't affect him, so he can go from exhibit to exhibit. While he can't find the big machine to smash and get everyone out, he does find Jimmy and Lois, who want him to take them back to Kandor. But, in case there weren't enough problems, the Phantom Zone criminals have also been released in Kandor! Flamebird had actually spent some time 'inside,' so his old cellmates are thrilled to see him. While none of them have powers now, the Phantom Zoners want out pretty bad, but unlike Ver-Na, a wanted separatist leader, they don't seem to realize they've left one cage for another. Ver-Na considers it worse than the bottle, and agrees to help. Flamebird faces off against Jax-Ur in single combat to decide it, and while beating him explains how they're stuck.

By now, Superman has realized the aliens have taken all of the survivors of Krypton, except three: Supergirl and her parents, who were returning to the Fortress of Solitude. (Supergirl's mom mentions returning to Kandor, how they could enlarge to come and go I don't know.) Getting a message from a Jimmy Carter-resembling president, Supergirl heads to the Hartsdale site, and re-opens the dimensional rip and enters. Krypto, Lois, and Jimmy stop her just before she enters the Kandor habitat and gets trapped. Still, since there was an opening (to lure her in) Krypto is able to go in and bring Superman over to it. They try to form a chain, but they're only able to pull Superman out. But, with his powers back, Superman is able to help Supergirl bring more over; including some of the criminals. The aliens are no match for multiple powered Kryptonians, and are beaten soundly.

Supergirl points out they can't return cities stolen from the past to the present; there would be massive culture shock, as well as there may be other cities in their place now. Finding an uninhabited earthlike world, she suggests they settle it with the former exhibits, placing them all far enough apart they won't interact right away. And then the recall button (or whatever) is pressed, and everyone is back where they belong: Hartsdale, Kandor, the Phantom Zoners, even Krypto.

I may have to check out the next issue here soon, since I remember the cover for it from a house ad. I don't remember if it was hyping the intro of a Superboy feature, or because the page count was dropping to 64.
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Action Figure Nexus had a sale going over the weekend, and I ordered a figure I stupidly passed on buying the one time I saw it: a Justice League Unlimited Superman! Wait, not him; his accessory, the Bottle City of Kandor! It's had multiple versions over the years, including the execrable "War of the Superman" New Krypton one; but I prefer the classic. As seen here! "Let My People Grow!" Written by Len Wein (from a suggestion by Marv Wolfman), art by Curt Swan, inks by Frank Chiaramonte. I read it first in Best of DC Digest #59, but also now have the original (and more scannable!) Superman #338.

Superman harvests a rare element from a distant super-nova, that he thinks may be the final item he needs to complete an enlarging ray, to return Kandor to its rightful size. Most of Kandor seems to be jumping at the idea, with the exception of one nay-sayer who points out the last time they tried it didn't go so well. Superman needs to test it, and while there are Kandorian volunteers, Supes plans to do it himself.

As he explains to Supergirl, while he's captured versions of Brainiac's shrinking ray over the years, the original is still on his saucer. Supes creates a "beeper" to bug Brainiac with a high-frequency signal, and he shows up pretty promptly. Brainiac had a number of super-weapons, but Supes eventually tricks him into using the shrink ray, which just confuses Brainiac, but he'll take it. Before he can shrink Supes further, Supergirl arrives with the enlarging ray, reflecting the shrink ray back, seemingly shrinking Brainiac out of this universe. (I'm not sure he would be seen again until his redesign!)

The enlarging ray works, returning Superman to normal size. Rather than settle on earth (with superpowers) the Kandorians elect to live on a distant planet under a red sun, like their homeworld Krypton. With a two-page spread and a "SKWA-WA-WHOOM!" Kandor is enlarged; and Supergirl is reunited with her parents. (Who...moved there, sometime, I guess?) After she tells them she's not ready to move back in with them; they're interrupted by the sudden collapse of the city, as all of Kandor's buildings, vehicles, and stuff disintegrates. (Everyone's clothes and headbands remain!)

Superman is mortified to realize the enlarging ray did fine on "animate objects," but not inanimate ones. Head scientist Van-Zee tells Supes not to sweat it, though: the Kandorians had been living as basically pets for years at that point, and needed to make their own way again. In that vein, they had unbeknownst to Superman and Supergirl, picked a "phase-world" that would shortly rotate out of that universe; because they didn't want the Supes constantly bailing them out of trouble. Van-Zee slugs the powerless Supes, in order for Supergirl to get him out of there; leaving the Kandorians to their future. That I don't think was ever seen again, so maybe it didn't go over so well...

I've probably looked at Kandor any number of times over the years, but man, there seems like a lot of room in that bottle. Like there's more atmosphere than I remember, but that probably makes sense. As much as a shrunken city can, anyway.
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We appreciate your Kandor. (Boo!)

Sometimes, when I read early eighties Superman comics, the only thing I can think is, "Crisis on Infinite Earths couldn't come soon enough." It took care of this issue: from 1982, Superman #371, "Kandor Lives Again!" Written by Len Wein, art by Curt Swan and Dave Hunt.

Which coincidence goes too far: sometime after restoring the inhabitants of Kandor to normal size in another dimension, Superman builds a replica of the bottle city. Later the same day, a group of alien refugees from a far-off planet, start squatting there. The aliens, the human-looking Sh'str, tried to escape their homeworld's sun going nova. They thought they could integrate with the humans they resembled, but once they got here they realized they were flea-sized compared to the earthlings. Superman uses the micro-wave tunnel he used to use to shrink or enlarge the Kandorians, but can only enlarge two of the Sh'str at a time. As Clark Kent, Superman helps them integrate into human society, but they first develop a case of the sniffles, which escalates into devolving into violent cave-alien types.

Bringing the mutated Sh'str back to the Fortress of Solitude, they nearly crush the faux-Kandor, but Superman uses white Kryptonite--which kills plant life--to kill the germs and bacteria in their system and return them to normal. Supes vows to keep trying to help the little aliens, who keep their new home's old name, Kandor. Yeah, I don't think they're seen again, before the Crisis. Must not have caught on.

In the back-up story, things get even crazier: Supes is "drilling" holes in the universe, creating hyperspace warps, when he accidentally flies too close to a violet star going nova--lot of novas today--and develops mind-over-matter abilities, with which he creates cash a couple of times. Crazy. From "Mind Over Money!" Written by Bob Rozakis, pencils by John Calnan, inks by Pablo Marcos.

Also this issue: Superman fights the Purple Pile-Driver!

And not for the first time, either! That...that's not a metaphor or anything, the Purple Pile-Driver had actually appeared before.
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"The (Recurring) Mystery of Superwoman."

Until I took five seconds to check, I thought the look of this Superwoman figure would be interchangeable with the Kristin Wells one from 1983 DC Comics Presents Annual #2. Wrongo. Anyway, the name "Superwoman" is one DC has, like Manhunter, that they keep trying to make happen every few years.

Although I didn't get around to picking her up before, Action Figure Nexus had a sale that convinced me to grab her; along with the Justice League Unlimited Superman with Kandor. We'll talk about Kandor more later. For now, we'll just look at this DC Direct Superwoman, from the New Krypton line. I didn't read it, but that storyline was the lead-in to War of the Supermen, and what I read of that one was total crap. It took a batch of old favorites, like Superwoman, Mon-El, Kandor, and I think Zod; then surgically excised anything resembling "fun."

That wave of figures also included Mon-El, as we saw some time ago; and he was a bit half-assed. Sadly, Superwoman shares a lot in common with him: an interesting look, but woefully lacking in articulation. Neck, shoulders, elbows, hips, knees. Nine points. That might've been acceptable in 2000 or earlier, but this was a 2010 figure. (There's a review here that may be a little less harsh.)

The hood is removable, so you can vary her look a bit; but that's about it. Still...I do like the look. Just don't expect a ton out of her. I still need to dig up the old DCP annual with the old Superwoman, for comparison purchases. And we'll come back to Kandor at a later date.

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Usually, it's more fun when three girls tear your suit off.

This one takes you on a ride--maybe not in an entirely satisfactory manner, but it hits a lot of notes. From 1970, Superman #223, "Half a Hero!" Written by Cary Bates, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by George Roussos.

Clark finds himself compelled to visit a nondescript restaurant, where the waitress thanks Superman for stopping by; then as he watches a pop star mobbed by fans at the airport, one locks eyes with him and says "Nice to see you here, Superman!" which no one else can here. Later, at a movie, when Superman appears on a newsreel (did they have those in the 70's?) an usher compliments him for looking great on film. Clark is then abducted by a flying saucer, and his suit exploded off of him, by the three girls, who introduce themselves at the Galactons, a club of super-heroines; that was looking for a new member--their first male member. (Cue "bow chicka wow wow" music!) The girls also have the same speech patterns as Huey, Dewey, and Louis; as one of them starts a thought in the panel, that will be picked up by the next one, then maybe finished by the third. This tryout is a riff on the old Legion of Super-Heroes origin, although it isn't acknowledged as such, except a mention that he belonged to that club as a kid. (Club membership, for children and adults, was a lot more prevalent back then; although I think it had faded a lot by the time I was a kid and is virtually unknown now, unless everybody's in a secret club without me!)

Superman's tryout for the Galactons goes awry, as he's taken to a distant planetoid, to tame a "Mumox." Instead, the Mumox gases Superman, knocking him out: he wakes up, hooked up to machines on the Galactons' ship, and the girls have bad news: the gas had not only nearly killed him, but it had permanently crippled him, leaving him unable to leave earth's yellow sun. Superman is furious, feeling like his effectiveness had been reduced by 50%; but it might've been more than that? Lotta not-yellow stars in space; and now Supes would still be able to see them in trouble, but would be unable to help.

The next day, a "defective" Superman-Robot poses as a shoeshine man and gives Perry White a hotfoot, in an elaborate scheme to get a warning to Superman: Superman isn't thrilled with the bot, and plans to scrap it later, but it was trying. A weird, giant, hypodermic needle-looking thing, is injecting weird crystals into the earth: no one else seems to have noticed earth getting a fix. Supes finds the crystals have lodged in the earth's core, and they were growing: left unchecked, they would destroy the planet in short order. Superman goes to the Galactons for help, presuming the girls could project x-rays (which seems presumptuous, but there's a reason!) and together they destroy the crystals with a massive blast of x-rays. The Galactons seemingly knew about the crystals, and their leader has something to tell Superman, who cuts them off: take off the mask, Supergirl! While there's other oddness here, I was wondering why the other two Galactons were also masked: they were from Kandor, but would Superman know every girl there...? Well, maybe.

Superman rather brusquely cuts them off, since it was "R-Day" in Kandor, and here's where this starts to feel like 20 pounds of plot in a 10-pound bag. He flies back to the Fortress of Solitude, and uses the "micro-wave tunnel" device to shrink down to visit the city. Which was also being hit, by the crystal menace! Supergirl finally explains: when the crystals started wrecking the bottle city, the Kandorians thought they were done for, but didn't want Superman to die with them, so they made up an elaborate hoax with the Galactons to convince Superman he couldn't live under a red sun. Then, Supergirl had the idea of duplicating the menace, with artificial crystals that wouldn't have done any harm, and Superman figured out how to stop them and now they could save the city. Except, they need super-x-rays, and the assorted trips back and forth had drained the micro-wave tunnel's power, so Superman and Supergirl couldn't get back under earth's yellow sun, and Kandor was doomed! This is why honesty is the best policy, kids. 

Despite the city being doomed, R-Day apparently stood for Release-Day, as the Kandorian Parole Board was going to release some prisoners from the Phantom Zone, as their sentences were up. The prisoners aren't particularly grateful: as one puts it, "I didn't spend 30 years in the Zone just to die the first day I'm out!" Superman notices another Phantom Zoner, who still had time on his sentence: Gor-Mu, a bio-chemist who caused several deaths with reckless experiments. Could Gor-Mu save Kandor? Maybe, but he has a condition: he wants to switch bodies with Superman! This seems like a problem, but relax, there's only two more pages in the issue; it all turns out.

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This is a weird point for Superman, but at least Steel has something to do.

From 2000, Superman: the Man of Steel #100, "Creation Story" Written by Mark Schultz, pencils by Doug Mahnke, inks by Tom Nguyen. Superman and Steel--with the assistance of Steel's niece Natasha and the Kryptonian robot Kelex--work to restore the lost Fortress of Solitude. They also hope to bring back the likewise lost bottle city of Kandor, which had been sucked into the Phantom Zone, or something like it; but I don't think this was the Kandor from Krypton. Just a colony city now mostly inhabited by aliens, but anyway.

Unknown to our heroes, the band of tech-criminals known as the Cybermoths were plotting to hijack the Kryptonian databases when they came back up. The 'Moths weren't the most memorable of bad guys, certainly liking the panache of Skull, but they do succeed in bringing back a big Superman baddie: the Cyborg Superman! Who is defeated fairly quickly, by the arrival of the tiny Kandorian Rescue Squad!

The Fortress is restored, even if Kandor isn't yet; and Superman gives Steel a new cape, since he thinks of John Henry as his partner. A fun issue, but it feels like a bit of an odd time in the Superman titles, as shown by Superman having a persistent cough and by Lois acting uncharacteristically bitchy about it. This was about a year out from the start of the "President Luthor" storyline, and Steel would briefly be believed dead after "Our Worlds at War." He'd be back!
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Superman has probably seen most of his ancestors having sex. Take that, Ancestry.com!

SyFy's new show Krypton, a prequel to the life of Superman, is still a couple months away; and while I'd like to be surprised, the stills from it so far I couldn't have identified if they hadn't been labeled as from that show. I also suspect it's not going to be as continuity-smashing insane as Fox's Gotham, nor is it going to have all the crazy crap we've seen in the comics. As in this issue! From 1981, the Krypton Chronicles #1, "The Search for Superman's Roots!" and #3, "The Race to Overtake the Past!" Written by E.Nelson Bridwell, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Frank Chiarmonte.

Morgan Edge had his own scheme for a TV show about Krypton, but he did have his finger on the pulse of the country's zeitgeist...as of maybe a year or three prior, but still: after the success of mini-series Roots and Shogun; Edge figures a historical dramatization of the "complete, authentic story of Superman's family tree!" would be a smash hit. And that assignment goes to Superman's childhood friend, Clark Kent! Which really seems like setting him up for failure: I don't know how Edge legitimately expects Kent to come through here, but maybe Kent had pulled so many rabbits out of his hat over the years that he only has himself to blame.

Conveniently, Supergirl is at the Fortress of Solitude, since this was the day they could visit the now-in-another-dimension Kandor. The bottle city had seemingly been destroyed when its citizens were enlarged, but enough of it had survived that the Kandorians were doing pretty well at rebuilding it; and of course all their computer records had survived. Including statues of Superman's ancestors, with "mind-tape" memory playback! Those go back eleven generations or so, then Supes is able to see back further with his cousin (and former Nightwing!) Van-Zee's headband memory extractor...thingus.

Even though he had looked back about four millennia, Superman still isn't satisfied, which I think was less than due to curiosity than a brutal Midwestern work ethic. With Supergirl (who knew her parents, so doesn't seem as invested in all this...) Supes goes into space to use a "light-seeker" to look back on Krypton's distant past. They would only be able to see things that happened outside, and would have to read lips since they wouldn't get sound, but they're able to see the lives of an inventor, a religious prophet that wasn't quite Noah, several generations of sovereigns and the occasional tyrant, and the first El who was also basically Samson but looked like Superman.

The prophet one was the weird one for me: Jaf-El proselytized for the god Rao, and was able to predict a freak occurrence that seemingly changed Krypton's red sun to yellow. He also predicted the evil people would die in a flood, but the righteous would be saved by Rao...somehow. Jaf's brother notices the animals have begun preparing for floods, by damming themselves up inside caves or fleeing to higher ground; but the people are caught flat-footed when the floods come. Still, the winged beasts save the people, flying them to one of the higher mountaintops of Krypton: Superman explains, on earth Noah saved the animals, on Krypton the animals saved the people! Jaf also predicted Krypton would still be destroyed someday, but the people would find salvation under a yellow sun, Ariu: the Kryptonian name for our sun! Did he predict Superman's future, and Kandor's? Or were his predictions just vague enough to make sense for whatever? Supergirl also mentions this not only stopped the Kryptonians' slaughter of the winged beasts, but that some still survived in Kandor to this day: I always picture the spires and science of Krypton and forget about the weird wildlife.

It's pretty iffy that Superman, even with his magical light-seeker, would be able to find the exact point to look back at light from eight thousand years or more ago. Actually, I find it more odd that Supes and Supergirl can speak in space here, through "their special radio-like communication, which can travel in the airless void..." Which I'm not sure had been seen before, or since! And Rao, I think I got the later Byrne/Mignola World of Krypton outta the same quarter bin as this! Where the hell did I put that...
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80-Page Thursdays: Superman Family #188!

I know this title was pieced together from the other Superman books, but sometimes it still feels weird to have continued stories in an 80-page book! That should've been plenty of room! From 1978, Superman Family #188, featuring stories by E.Nelson Bridwell, Tom DeFalco, Gerry Conway, and more; and art by Ken Landgraf, Win Mortimer, Kurt Shaffenberger, and more.

It's election day for the science council in Kandor; and Superman and Jimmy Olsen visit to check it out. Unfortunately, some Kandorian separatists--whose goal is "to free Kandor of its bottle" but by any means necessary?--attack the family of Superman Reserve Squad member Van-Zee: he was also up for the council spot, but more importantly, was the current Nightwing! He's helpless with his family held hostage, and while he and Flamebird fight the original duo of Supes and Jimmy, the separatists use the enlarging gas to make them giant-sized! Relatively. They're still in the bottle, just big enough to lord it over everybody. The heroes have to fight the giants for a couple chapters, and Jimmy and new Flamebird Ak-Var have to start out resenting each other and then work through it.

Also this issue: Lois meets superhero wannabe the Human Cannonball, but he's not "The Mutant Menace of Metropolis!" Superman has to stop an alien disease, Krypto saves a train from a rockslide in remarkably difficult fashion, and Supergirl is on trial for banishing Shyla to the Phantom Zone back in Superman Family #183: she had served her sentence in the Zone, did Supergirl have the right to put her back in, even if she was a menace? Kara pleads no contest, but she has something in mind that her cousin can't see...or does he? 

Luckily, I do have the next issue, which features the conclusions to both the Superman and Supergirl stories.

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At least she was old enough that this wasn't "Child-bride of the Stars."

I was furious when I got to the third feature in this issue, because I couldn't believe DC would reprint "Jimmy Olsen's Secret Love!" again. Better taste must've prevailed: they didn't reprint it again, I just never got around to blogging the rest of this issue, until buying another copy the other day...From 1976, Superman Family #177, featuring "Bride of the Stars" Plot by Cary Bates, script by Elliot S! Maggin, art by Kurt Schaffenberger.

Several years ago, on a distant planet, a child was born under apparently a good star, with a "star-mate" born at the same time: if they were to marry, they were prophesized to be unstoppable. Today, an as-yet blissfully-unaware Supergirl is on her way to Kandor to visit her folks, only to discover the locks have been changed, and they don't know her anymore. In fact, in Kandor she can't find any record of a Kara Zor-El or Supergirl. While she feels like an orphan again, and I agree it's a downer, it also seems like that sort of thing happens to her sometimes? It's a little worse than them forgetting her birthday, but still. Supergirl doesn't get too much time to mope about it, as the observatory nearly burns down, in a fire set to lure her out; by a curly-headed lout with a grab-bag full of powers, who claims she's his "star-mate!" Yick.

The lout's name was Ranar, and he introduces himself as a "Hakawee," in a longwinded story about meeting Kara's parents shortly after Krypton blew up. And they seemed to prefer a death by Kryptonite poisoning or exile in the Phantom Zone to a 'rescue' by Ranar, which should tell you something. Ranar's powers also include mansplaining astrology, and stealing her powers with a "mystic rod." Those doodads usually have better names...Kara ditches him, then hides out in her secret identity, but Ranar puts a dome over town to keep her from escaping. Worse, Kara remembers what she heard about the Hakawee--wait, don't Kryptonians have super-recall? Wouldn't she have known this instantly? Well, it's for our benefit, anyway: the Hakawee were space barbarians, powerful, with no sense of right or wrong. The Kryptonians seem to have an instinctual revulsion to them, which was probably a bit elitist, but they do suck, so...Kara realizes her folks must've been trying to cover for her, like telling a jerk caller their daughter had moved, but no dice.

Using power he had already drained from Supergirl, Ranar puts the townspeople under his control, and starts dressing them up like him. (Fortunately, he apparently doesn't have time to give everyone perms.) Kara tries to pretend to be hypnotized, but the rod calls her out; and even when she gets it away from him he's still able to use it. Afraid of the mesmerized locals getting hurt, Kara agrees to yield; if Ranar will release them, and give her an hour to say goodbye to earth. Ranar had no honor or loyalty, but knew she did, and that he could use it against her; so agrees. But, on the flight to the Hakawee planet, Ranar realizes his stars have changed: bonding with Supergirl would be a disaster, now. He releases her, not noticing Kara's smirk: she had slapped a small planet together out of space debris, and used it to block one of the stars, ruining his astrological chart. It didn't appear to actually give him power; but maybe the fact that he thought it would did something? Also, Kara just lets that jerk go; he kinda needed to be sent to space jail. But, she wanted to see her folks, who of course are thrilled to have her back. 

This probably isn't right, but it feels like these Supergirl stories in Superman Family were evenly split between fights with jelly-jealous vixen types, or super-douchebros who wanted the most amazing woman in the universe to get in the kitchen and make them a sandwich. Like, one or the other; Rao forbid there be a story with just a bank robber who liked cash or something. Ugh, there's one more (reprint) story this issue; and it's going to hurt. Later.

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History is written by the victors, retcons are written by John Byrne.

I've joked about this before, but I think I've read more Kryptonian history than I have American history. Ah, I remember my textbooks, this is probably about as accurate. From 1987-88, the World of Krypton #1, "Pieces" Written by John Byrne, pencils by Mike Mignola, inks by Rick Bryant and Carlos Garzón.

Set thousands of years before Jor-El's time--and he would be watching the historical records in later issues--the story opens with young Van-L, about to undertake the "Day of Passage" and become a man. He's already started to notice his pretty friend Vara, but their playful flier race is marred by Vara coming in too low and getting seriously injured. Luckily, Kryptonian society had long had a program in place for that: cells were taken from all citizens early on to create three clones, from which parts could be harvested. Clone rights activists protested this, but as far as Van-L knew the "clonies" were harmless, annoying cranks. At the medical facility, Van-L encounters arrogant momma's boy Kan-Z, who is visibly distraught by bad news from an automated doctor...

With Vara fixed up, Van-L's thoughts return to his celebratory party, even as serious fighting breaks out in Kandor. The party is marred by first some acrimonious discussion about clone rights: are the people of Krypton "murderers and cannibals" for using the clones? Next, Van-L is upstaged a bit, as Kan-Z's mother Nyra announces her son's engagement. Which is itself upstaged by the sudden arrival of a drunken, furious Kan-Z, who kills Nyra but is stopped from killing himself by Van-L. With her head blown off, there was no chance for repairs for Nyra, which is troubling enough to the Kryptonians, but Kan-Z had also murdered his fiancé. The automated doctor from before is seemingly also a detective, and had put together most of the rest, which Van-L and his father discover at the clone banks: Nyra had withdrawn one of her own clones, and intended it to be her son's bride; perhaps the only one she felt worthy of him. This would be bad enough, but the notion that clone might've developed a personality of its own could bring down Kryptonian society; so of course Kan-Z had mentioned it in his suicide note, which had just been broadcast...

I had found this whole series in the quarter bins a few months ago--along with the 1979 World of Krypton series--but had set it aside and didn't finish it until now! I always like Mignola's art, but this seems radically different from Hellboy, the first issue of which, also featuring Byrne on scripts, was still six or so years away. It reminded me of P.Craig Russell, maybe? Not quite as much black ink as he would later use, but the story would become darker from here.
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80-Page Thursdays: Superman Family #184!

Here's an 80-pager I was looking forward to from the cover, but sadly it doesn't deliver: Superman Family #184 from 1977, featuring stories from Martin Pasko, Jack C. Harris, Paul Kupperberg, and more; and art from Kurt Schaffenberger, Jose Delbo, Ken Landgraf, and more.

The cover story is the book's last feature: "The Mysterious Misdemeanors of the Prankster," wherein the "gap-toothed gagster" performs a number of crimes that are misdemeanors in name only; archiac crimes that are still on the books, like catching birds in an Idaho cemetery or putting pennies in his ears in Hawaii or swearing in Middleborough, Ma. Wait, that last one is real. Real stupid, but real. Supes (and this could be the Earth-2 one, or not) is really snippy, since he knows Prankster is up to something, but can't prove it...for about eight pages.

The opening Supergirl story is interesting, but has a lot going on: a recap of her origin, her adoptive parents in danger, mysterious teleporting "Visitors" with ray weapons. It's continued, so I'd have to see the next issue to see how that goes; but next is a Jimmy Olsen story, set in his "Mr. Action" days of globetrotting reporting. Jimmy does a pretty good job on his own, but still needs a little unseen assist from Superman, as he saves a movie studio from bankruptcy by rescuing a scientist from an Eastern bloc country by disguising himself as a pro tennis player.

There's also a Krypto story involving a brontosaurus bone, a Lois Lane story where she's brainwashed and sent to murder Clark Kent, and a Nightwing and Flamebird story. Supes thinks the bottle city of Kandor is peaceful and trouble-free, but in fact it's on the verge of civil war between forces that want to leave for some other planet, and others that don't necessarily want to be ditched somewhere. And the city's heroes don't seem to agree, either.

Not the best 80-pager we've had here, but not the worst either, I suppose.
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