"The End" Week: Alf #50!

He got a four-part story to wrap up his series...something Marvel has failed to do for its own characters, on numerous occasions...and I wonder if the sales numbers weren't probably pretty good for this? From 1992, Alf #50, "Part IV Of Th-Th-That's ALF, Folks! ALF Weidersehn! (That's Melmacian For "Farewell")" "Universal Acceptance" and "And Now, Ladies And Gentlemen. . . One Last Time. . . Heeeeeeeeeeere's ALF" Written by Michael Gallagher, pencils by Dave Manak, inks by Marie Severin.

The lead story concludes a multi-issue arc, with Alf's girlfriend Rhonda and pal Skip returning for him: the Tanners had thought Alf was marrying Rhonda, and would finally leave their house, but he was just performing the ceremony for Rhonda and Skip! He and Rhonda had drifted apart, and he didn't want to leave earth. But, when a crazed government alien hunter, a publicity-seeking politician, and a local news crew converge on the Tanners' house, Alf is forced to flee with his friends...or did he? No. He also manages to wreck their garage again, for good measure. Next, Alf blackmails then-current editor-in-chief Tom DeFalco into publishing his Marvel Universe pages! (The series and Gallagher seemed to take a few shots at both Marvel and DeFalco; partly because it's funny, but there may have been some sour grapes there.)

The last story is a late night show-style goodbye to the series, with Gallagher burning through a bunch of plots they weren't going to get to use. Might as well, those might not have been some he could transplant to another book! 

This issue hit the stands December 10, 1991; outlasting the TV show, which ran to March 24, 1990. (There would be a wrap-up TV movie in 1996.) His comeback has long been teased, but hasn't happened yet...pogs notwithstanding.

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"The End" Week: Ka-Zar #20!

Here's a cancellation that feels like it caught the creative team by surprise, but you very likely might have read the character's next appearance! Which does not really do this one justice, or even lip-service. From 1977, Ka-Zar #20, "Assault on a Cold Fortress!" Written by Doug Moench, pencils by Val Mayerik, inks by Ernie Chan. 

 

This opens with Ka-Zar and his...gnome companion Zartros, on the distant planet Quarl, trying to steal their queen, and escape on a winged shark? Well, the 'queen' was really reporter Tandy Snow, brainwashed by the Quarlians, who thought she was some embodiment of prophecy. Ka-Zar kills more than a few of the aliens in the escape, while yelling at Tandy to try and snap her back, since the queen bit was annoying. But, as they fly off to meet their friends; long-time supporting character Tongah of the Fall People, paleontologist Bernard Kloss, and Zabu the sabertooth tiger; were all dying of old age! Their youth had been stolen by some jerky tribe--the Kramen?--which at first seems to be unrelated to the next plot: the alien Sheenarians (who were also from Quarl?) have somehow crossed a portion of their dimension with a chunk of the Savage Land. They also had Klaw, who was primarily concerned with getting his ass back to earth.

Ka-Zar and company find the Kramen marching on the Sheenars--Sheenarians?--whatever; since the aliens had been stealing their youth, like they stole Tongah and Zabu's. Zartros even points out, it was suspicious the Kramen were young again all of a sudden; but Ka-Zar needed allies against the Sheenars. While Klaw makes his move to bail, Ka-Zar sneaks into the city on the winged shark, but finds himself under fire from a flying saucer: is this the end? The final page has a closing blurb: "To be continued...somewhere." Ka-Zar was being wrapped, possibly to make room for something else; and Moench and Mayerik would go on to Doc Savage (although Moench may have been already writing it) and maybe Planet of the Apes. And for Ka-Zar? The letters page promises, as was traditional at Marvel, the cliffhanger would be wrapped up in some other book later. Marvel Team-Up maybe, or Marvel Two-in-One? No, it would be wrapped up about a year and a half later, in X-Men #115! It got about four panels, and I think Zartros might've got sent back wherever, but still.

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"The End" Week: Jonah Hex #70!

Let's see, we've looked at the end of his original series and All-Star Western, and I always misremember Hex as running 20 issues: it was only 18, and yet we've still never blogged it? And we aren't here, either! From 2011, Jonah Hex #70, "Weird Western" Written by Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti, pencils by Ryan Sook and Diego Olmos, inks by Mick Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti.

In 1904, Jonah Hex is a long-in-the-tooth old coot, who needed spectacles to play cards; which is how George Barrow is able to bust up to him with a shotgun and lay him out. Wow, that was over quick...No, in death, Hex is visited by his old, dead, friend Jeb Turnbull; who implores him not just to lay down and die, but man, you've been dead for ages, give it up already. He asks why Hex still wore the Confederate uniform: because he died in the war, and this was all a dream.

Of course, Hex then has another dream; still old, playing cards with El Diablo and Bat Lash, while his wife Mei Ling and his current side-piece Tallulah Black both cradle infants; before getting shot by his drunken pa. Then, a visit from a charming little girl, who is scarred like both Hex and Tallulah.

One more nightmare, where Tallulah shoots his hungover ass; before we finally get to the real world, where the injured Hex is still unconscious in a medicine man's cave, brought there by Bat and Tallulah. Hex eventually comes out of it, but refuses to tell them what he saw. Tallulah had her own near-death experience before, and mentions seeing a little girl; Hex keeps mum. But, the medicine man seems to hear her as well...

While this was the last issue, the very next month Hex would return, with the first issue of All-Star Western in the New 52 launch: there's an ad page for "The Edge" books, which included Deathstroke and Suicide Squad. Huh, All-Star Western would outlast those two--and the other "Edge" titles--but hasn't gotten a relaunch since? Deathstroke's had one, the Squad several. He would appear in...ugh...Death Metal...uh, that's all right. No thanks. Read more!

"The End" Week: Guardians of the Galaxy #62!

So, we've been doing this bit for 15 years now, and while I accumulate last issues all year long, theoretically I could write more of these posts over the course of the year. Usually, I get like three done early; but I know I just got this issue this month! From 1995, Guardians of the Galaxy #62, featuring "Endgame" Written by Michael Gallagher, pencils by Kevin West, inks by Steve Montano; and "Time to Go" Written by Michael Gallagher, art by Sandu Florea.

This issue was edited by the great Mark Gruenwald, and I bet he was pleased it tied into a bit of his continuity: the White Room, as seen in Quasar #42. "Endgame" follows Starhawk, who had been set on a quest by the Hawk God, to find his real parents: retcon spoiler alert after the break!

OK, still here? Starhawk's real folks were Quasar and Kismet! Good for them, I love Her. Starhawk had been on this quest since at least GOTG #54, and while Quasar was dead, Kismet had last been seen on the planet Vesper, where we now find Starhawk getting trounced by a robotic "Pathbreaker." For about three seconds, before turning on the juice. Starhawk finds Kismet, living like a nun, mourning the child that was taken from her, by Eon? They put the pieces together, and have a reunion hug at Quasar's space-grave, before they are attacked by Eon's son, Era; who orchestrated everything for the last thousand years. The Hawk God moved Starhawk around to counter Era, to maintain some kind of cosmic balance; and while he feels manipulated, both Starhawk and Kismet are determined to stop Era.

Meanwhile, the other Guardians were re-gathering; as Nikki and Charlie-27 pick up Yondu, who had been trying to get a sign from his god Anthos. Vance Astro was completing a lengthy examination of his new black containment suit: he had received it from the Beyonder, but it had "groped" Aleta and she was creeped out by it. Martinex returns to help with the science, even though he and Vance weren't getting along: Aleta lays down the law, forcing them to bury the hatchet. The team was missing Talon and Yellowjacket: Talon was back studying under the current Sorcerer Supreme Krugarr, while Rita had returned to the 20th century...to immediately get murdered in a terrible crossover like a DC character.

Vance's suit had been augmented by a transfusion he had received from Simon "Hollywood" Williams: it had been acting maybe like a symbiote, but was maybe just Vance's hormones acting up. Reunited, the Guardians listen to Mainframe (formerly the Vision) and his plan to travel back in time, and stop "the War of the Worlds," the Martian attack of earth. The Martians had received aid from a force from outside the galaxy, but the Guardians travel back to June 29, 2001 and interrupt it. With a thousand years of technology on them and a furious Simon, the Guardians destroy about two-thirds of the Martian force. But, as the Guardians return to their own time, they are sabotaged by a stowaway: their old foe, Wormhole!...yeah, nobody remembers him. He was an Inhuman, and had been working under Loki around GOTG #40. The Guardians survive a flaming crash, but where they landed...no one can say. (Mildly curious that the whole team wasn't lost together, but Starhawk was the one to go off himself the most.) 

It would be twelve years until the "modern" Guardians era began with Annihilation: Conquest--Star-Lord #1, with Star-Lord, Rocket, and Groot. But the classic Guardians would return a few times, here and there. I know I read some of Guardians 3000, which also included Alex Ross covers and a more classic Star-Lord--good grief, the last two issues aren't on the GCD? That feels like a crime. Maybe one I can do something about...

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"The End" Week: the Witching Hour #85!

Pretty sure this was in my pile of Halloween comics, but it just so happened to be the last issue, so it ends up here! From 1978, the Witching Hour #85, cover by Luis Dominguez.

I wonder if the Three Witches--Mildred; Mordred; Cynthia--still had jobs after this in DC's other horror books, or if any horror stories had to have the host sections redrawn to be Cain, Abel, or Destiny. The first story, "Rat Bait" hinges on a pretty big coincidence: a destitute and widowed zoologist seeks shelter, at the home of Dr. Rackow, who is experimenting-slash-tormenting rats. The rats have to suffer challenges that should be beyond them, but Rackow has been implanting brain cells from higher species in them...which higher species, Rackow? The zoologist is convinced to hang out a while, but notices he feels worse and worse as the rats seem to improve by little leaps and bounds: of course, Rackow had been taking bits of his brain! But, the rats aren't just getting smarter, they also wanted revenge...I mean, they probably wanted revenge before, right? Ah, let's move on. (Story by George Kashdan, art by Fred Carrillo.)

Next, "Has Anybody Seen My Head?" (Story by Carl Wessler, art by Jerry Grandenetti.) This story is set in 1920's France, but Jean dresses like a leprechaun, including a green derby. Still, I guess if you're the executioner, you can wear what you like! Jean plots against his romantic rival, the handsome murderer Paul Bonnard, for the hand of the lovely Marie. Paul had killed a guy, pushing him off a bridge, but had been acquitted and couldn't be retried. Jean murders a drunk in their boarding house, pins it on Paul, and gets to lop of his head in le guillotine. Then, Jean has Paul's body taken to a local mad scientist, and has his head transplanted onto it! Now tall and handsome...or at least tall? He could now ask Marie to marry him, but she has some bad news about a pre-existing condition...

"Dirge for a Deadly Duet" is a short, hackneyed number with hitmen trying to change their faces, with less than ideal results; then the cover story, "Our Subject for Tonight is Fear." (Story by George Kashdan, pencils by Ernie Patricio, inks by Ernie Santiago.) Michael Bannion gets an untimely midnight phone call, that the Rathkill School will accept his nephew Steven. The kid knows his uncle is trying to ditch him, but the school is both exclusive and odd, with oddly robed teachers, and a no-contact policy during the school semester. Steven is issued a pet raven, in an off-brand but seemingly egalitarian witch's school; and returns to avenge his dead dad. Well, at least it didn't take seven books to do it. (I did like Steven telling his aunt sure, he heard his uncle getting murdered, but he wasn't allowed in his study!) Read more!

"The End" Week: Fillerbunny #3!

Because I'm messy, I probably have another copy of this, on my bookshelf somewhere with other beloved mini-comics like Evan Dorkin's Milk & Cheese Darth Vader Overdrive or Adrian Tomine's Optic Nerve. From 2005, Filler Bunny #3, story and art by Jhonen Vasquez.

Re-reading this one, man, I forgot how dense it was for just a silly little throwaway: Fillerbunny was created to fill a page in the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac trade that originally was an ad, then later Jhonen Vasquez would make three mini-comics with the hapless, tortured page-filler. This last issue took longer than the first couple, partly because Vasquez took some other jobs midstream; but it seems like something he had fun doing. He also admits in an editorial-style confessional, when he tells people he's working on another Fillerbunny book, their eyes don't exactly light up with anticipation; but so what?

I feel like the print run for this was probably massive by today's standards? Although I don't think it would go on to be a perennial seller like Johnny or even Squee! Read more!

"The End" Week begins, with Harley Quinn #75!

How many years have I been doing this? It's once again the last week of the year, "The End" week, where we look at last issues of various comics. And we start with one that's probably pretty indiciative of modern comics: it's a DC last issue that's also part of a crossover, 'cause that's how DC rolls. It's got 35 variant covers--well, I guess 1 regular and 34 variants. Whatever. She had two series before this and has relaunched since this one, too! From 2020, Harley Quinn #75, "Happy Birthday, Harley Quinn!" Written by Sam Humphries, art by Sami Basri; Nicola Scott; Emanuela Lupacchino; Ramon Villalobos; Ngozi Ukazu; Joe Quinones; and more.

Harley wakes up, hungover and tied to a chair; which probably isn't that unusual for her; except this time it's for her birthday roast, hosted by her best friend, Bernie the Stuffed Beaver! Cue a bunch of embarrassing (and non-continuity) stories about Harley, like her with a Super Friends-styled Justice League, with an ever-expanding social circle/supporting cast from earlier issues, or with the Suicide Squad. They're all pretty funny, if not especially flattering for her; but then we get a story from Harley's late mom, about the loss of her childhood cat, Pinky. Harley then has one more story, in an animated series style, where she's learned to embrace bad feelings, and then let them go.

The story ends with Harley enjoying a birthday cupcake with a friend, but because comics, there's another story: namely, Harl getting her throat cut by her replacement, Punchline, in the Joker War crossover. (These two pages are consecutive: feels like they should've been broken up by an ad, editorial/letters page, a pin-up, something!) Thrown away to die, Harley hallucinates guardian angel/inner demon "Quinnie," who gives her a few flashbacks while encouraging her to lay down and die. But she's not ready to go out just yet...

Of course, Harley would get another #1: I think moreso than some other heroes, she's had long runs from writers, and rather than hand off they usually go with relaunches. Or, it may have just been linewide relaunch time. I lose track. A fun issue on its own, though. Read more!

'Tis the season, for reruns!

Man, I didn't even get my Christmas figures out this year! But, there weren't new Star Wars Black Holiday figures this year, either. (Well, I think there was an ugly Halloween two-pack?) That did free up like a hundred and some bucks that I probably squandered on something else.

I mentioned McFarlane's assorted Bat-Santas last year, but I don't recall seeing them in stores: there might be more kid-friendly 12 inch ones as well. Maybe they'll turn up on Boxing Day.

And, like I keep grousing every year, Hasbro continues to leave money on the table, by not putting out a Santa Punisher figure! Oh, man, I'd be so mad if they did but it was the new Punisher...

Old Christmas re-runs after the break, and tomorrow, "The End" Week starts: another pile of last issues; although just about everything gets relaunched at some point. And the year-ender is coming! My totals...yow. It's always super-fun, except for the math part! Merry Christmas, everyone! All the best.

It's not a perennial holiday classic...yet; but I rerun this one every Christmas: "How Deadpool saved assisted didn't wreck had Christmas." See how our production standards have barely incrementally changed in like eleven years! Although, Die Hard wasn't universally accepted as a Christmas movie back then, as it is today.

As usual, click to unwrap, er, enlarge. Not sure of the setup? The first strip's waaaay back here.





What the heck, you've been good this year...he says, based on nothing; so let's have another holiday re-run: "Jingle Bells, Blame Mattel..."

And for good measure, here's the 2015 Christmas strip, "Do They Know It's X-Mas Time at All?" Pool and Kurt had been in space for about 21 months at that point, so yeah, that plotline went on.

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