"Expected."

We started "Seasonal Affective D'spayre" back in October; I don't think the despair has let up in the slightest, but here we are. Personally, I often wonder if I have depression, or just everything just suck? Like, I don't have depression, I've got late-stage capitalism.

Tony refers to the "get-along shirt" Gwen put him and Captain America in, in Gwenpool Strikes Back! #5: I thought he was more put-out about it, but he seemed to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, like enjoying seeing other people like the Hulk punched in the face. (Steve does not see the humor in any of Gwen's shenanigans there!) (Written by Leah Williams, art by David Baldeon, color art by Jesus Aburtov & Guru-eFX.) Gwenpool is crazy powerful that whole series, as well as a bit crazy because she thinks her story was coming to an end. Nope! You may notice, though, her figure doesn't have her usual phone, since I dropped it on the second shot and have yet to find it again... 

Next week, um, we conclude the She-Hulk/Hawkeye storyline from last September! Which I interrupted because I was more interested in the D'spayre one. But, H noticed something about Amadeus Cho, that will come up next week...

Read more!

2019 was hardly the best of times either; but I don't know how I missed all of this.

It took a spot of digging, but I got all of this series, the Omega issue, and the Daredevil-lead War Scrolls from the dollar bins. There were like 21 tie-in issues for this month's issue alone; and I don't think I read any of them at the time! From 2019, War of the Realms #5, "The World Tree is Burning" Written by Jason Aaron, art by Russell Dauterman.

Along with being a traditional big ol' crossover event, I think this was maybe Aaron and Dauterman's swan song to cap off their Thor run. (Looking at Aaron's last collection, there was maybe some King Thor after that.) The Dark Elf Malekith and his forces had torn through the Ten Realms and established beachheads all over earth: he had a few familiar allies, like Ulik, the Enchantress, and Loki's father Laufey. Laufey had eaten Loki in an earlier issue, taking him off the board...for now. Daredevil has a surprisingly central role in this one: he had taken the sword of the injured Heimdall, which had expanded his senses to a godly degree. Here, he tells Thor that Yggdrasil the World-Tree was growing in the sun, and Thor tells him to nail him to it. (It's a Norse god thing, Odin had done it probably more than once!) I suddenly feel like they missed a trick, not giving DD the old spacey-face Captain Mar-Vell used to get with cosmic awareness!

Various bands of heroes team-up with surviving gods, to counter-attack: the Punisher also has a surprisingly large role, which would lead into his Punisher Kill Krew mini-series. Spider-Man has a fun appearance here, with the corpse-eating Spiders of Hel, who seem to have taken a shine to him, to Spidey's chagrin. (Aaron writes a great crossover Spidey: he's not the main guy, but helps out and has jokes!) Jennifer Walters was a thicker, less-articulate She-Hulk at the time; which seems to be super-attractive to large chunks of Malekith's forces, but an issue of War Scrolls points out she was seeing Thor at the time. And while several characters, including fallen Valkyrie Brunnhilde, wanted her to live her life in peace, Jane Foster returns to the fray, picking up a hammer again.

For reference, this was about the same time as the start of the Krakoa era, and most of this series would've been on racks while Avengers: Endgame was in theaters! Read more!

I want a Superman "time stick" now.

I feel like everyone and their mom bought that Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez DC Style Guide but me; I have to content myself with random ads like this one! The Superman "time stick" momentarily looked like mullet-Supes, but no. Anyway, as long as we're here, let's check out the front of this one! From 1982, Batman #354, "Showdown" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Don Newton, inks by Alfredo Alcala.

This was maybe intentionally stepping away from the '66 TV show: Batman had just been stripped of his "special deputy" status, by crooked Mayor Hill and Commissioner Pauling. Although currently outlawed, Batman still confronts them, since he had Deadshot held prisoner--probably illegally--but Bats hoped to spook them into confessing their conspiracy with Boss Rupert Thorne. While Pauling doesn't have the stones to shoot Batman, he still triggers an alarm, and one of his loyalists, fat pig Sgt. McClosky, takes a shot at Batman leaving police headquarters. He gets five shots off as Batman tries to swing away, and Bats catches one and falls...but his body isn't found.

Meanwhile, since he had been haunted by the ghost of Hugo Strange, Boss Thorne has brought in some help: "Ghost Breaker" Dr. Thirteen! The abrasive doctor doesn't like Thorne, or even accept his money: his whole thing was, there was no such thing as ghosts, and he almost compulsively has to prove it. And he's right this time: someone had set up hologram projectors and tape recordings, to hound Thorne. Thorne thinks Pauling and Hill did it, and storms off to get his revenge, although he also plans to settle with Thirteen later.

Alfred is attending to the blindfolded and caged Deadshot, when a bleeding Batman barely makes it in; then a brief subplot with Vicki Vale receiving an anonymous "cat-call" warning her to stay away from Bruce Wayne. Later that night, Thorne is drinking at home, when Batman arrives and scowls at him, silently. Thorne doesn't quite spill all the beans, but does accidentally set his house on fire! Thorne escapes the blaze, then at City Hall confronts Hill, Pauling, and McClosky; furious over their betrayal and all the fake haunting stuff, which Hill swears he didn't know anything about. Thorne shoots Pauling, but is himself shot by McCloskey, who is then knocked out by Batman.

"Batman" then reports back in: it was Robin filling in, as Bruce was currently bedridden. While Thorne would go to jail, their conversation didn't entirely incriminate Hill; and with Deadshot still not talking, they had nothing on the mayor. Robin wonders about the ghost business, though; as a limousine drives away, with Hugo Strange softly chuckling in the back. Well, the caption box says he's softly chuckling, the art and lettering in the last panel make it look more like he's cackling his head off. I feel bad for his chauffeur; imagine driving that around all day. 

I wasn't reading regularly then, but I think this plotline had been bubbling away for a long time, so it had to be immensely satisfying seeing the conspirators turn on each other and get some measure of what was coming to them. I wonder what that's like, huh?

Read more!

It's cruel to do that to a possum! To Jonah Hex though...

I'm posting the cover partly so I don't buy it again, but it was a pretty distinctive one of that era: from 1983, Jonah Hex #76, "Caged!" Written by Michael Fleisher, pencils by Dick Ayers, inks by Tony DeZuniga. Cover by Ross Andru and Joe Rubinstein.

This series would end with issue #92, but I'm surprised some plot threads were already in motion, namely poor Emmylou: she had been a captive of the Crows, and was Jonah's new girl, except he was still in love with his estranged wife Mei Ling. They get attacked by three bushwhackers, who Jonah guns down in three panels; criticizing their tactics as he does! He reckons they were just random bandits, but not this time: they had been sent by his old foe Quentin Turnbull, who was trying to kill Hex to avenge his son. (Hex had been framed for that one by the Union; one of the few deaths in the series that probably wasn't his fault!) Quentin has a flash of inspiration, when he sees his old slave Solomon's trapped possum.

Jonah later gets clonked on the head, so he can be taken to meet Governor McKinley Phelps, who wants him to commit some crimes, get arrested, and sent to the state prison for a month or so, so he can report on doings inside. I feel like I've seen this plot before on an old western show; nothing good can come of it, so of goddamn course Hex takes the job, after insisting on a handwritten letter certifying he was innocent. I'm very sure he was being scammed, but it was a kind of scummy out for him to ditch Emmy. After a few robberies, Hex is brought in, quickly sentenced, and shipped to the state pen; while both Mei Ling and Emmylou see his name in the headlines. Mei Ling defends Hex after her brother trash-talks him and their kid; while Emmylou is more free to act, which will probably just put her in more danger later, right?

The prison is, naturally, cruel and unusual: the warden and sadist head guard Kozrak don't just abuse the prisoners, they're also pocketing most of the budget and cheaping out on food and such. Hex defends an old-timer who collapses while breaking rocks, and catches a substantial beating for it, then gets thrown in the hole. I'm not sure his luck would improve next month! I'm not even sure he cleared his name before getting sent to the future... Read more!

I swear I never see all four issues of this in the same quarter bin, because I'd absolutely buy it so I could be sure: from 1983, Sword of the Atom #3, "Mourning's End" Written by Jan Strnad, art by Gil Kane. (Kane also has a co-editing credit, with Dick Giordano; I wonder how he finagled that.)

The title refers to both plot threads this issue: Ray Palmer was still stuck at six-inches tall in a South American jungle, and was currently preparing the rebel army to attack the city Morlaidh. Ray had managed to not get killed by the archer Voss, and makes him second in command; since the rebel leader Taren had been blinded, and expected to die soon. And does, sacrificing himself to an ant swarm rather than let Ray risk his life defending him. This does free up Princess Laethwen to go after Ray, since life in the jungle was uncertain, and they didn't have time to wait.

Meanwhile, back in Ivy Town, Ray's ex-wife Jean Loring has buried the body that had been identified as Ray's, from his ring: she was a good enough lawyer, to know that was circumstantial evidence at best. Actually, it's less good lawyering than good old-fashioned spite that leads her to the right conclusion: Jean figures it would be "just like him, too" if he were to turn up alive now. The nerve! She heads to South America, where she may find some answers before the end of the series. Read more!

"Wahoo."

Gwenpool! Yes, Gwenpool was always intended to show for the wrap-up of "Seasonal Affective D'spayre," but since this went on (and on...) we didn't get to here, until after the new Gwenpool series was announced. That was after the teaser, of the dug-up grave of Gwen Stacy; who appears to have returned as a Wolverine-like killer. I don't know why either. This could just be for shock value, or maybe they're going somewhere with this. Spider-Man guest-stars, and I'm not sure fans are loving the current run of books there either. Then again, Jeff the Land Shark guests too, and everybody loves him from the Marvel Rivals game, if not just because. 

 We've seen that one cop before too: it's the Joseph Gordon-Levitt Mattel Movie Masters GCPD Blake figure. Who seems to get jerkier every time he shows up here. Huh.

Man, I haven't seen the Exorcist in a bit. But, like Gwen says, I don't have an exterior shot for the bar!

Read more!

Admittedly, it felt like a week reading this one.

Even though I know I didn't, it feels like I read all of one comic last week. Oh, and another volume of Chainsaw Man, but too bad for you, we're looking at 2000's Heroes Reborn: Doom #1, "Doom" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Mike McKone, inks by Mark McKenna, letters by Richard Starkings and Comicraft. So many letters...

I was trying to sort out where this one fell: a gazillion years ago, we saw the Chuck Dixon/Leonardo Manco Doom mini-series, where Victor ends up stranded without armor and weapons on the Heroes Reborn earth that had been created by Franklin Richards: I had to look it up, that's after this series. We also saw a bit of continuity backfill, in a Thor annual, explaining what happened when the other heroes returned to regular Earth-616; that maybe doesn't work because Doom has his armor back there, but whatever. By this point, Doom is conquering the hell out of the largely hero-less earth--who did they have left? Proto-Iron Man Rebel? Girl Bucky? While Doom had a crew of hitters, most of whom are seemingly terrified of him but still betray him; but he had a few that were maybe loyal so far: a really murdery Lady Dorma, the Celestial Ashema, and Lancer. Seeing Lady Dorma is mildly interesting: she had of course been dead in regular continuity for years, and wasn't quite considered a saint like the likewise passed Gwen Stacy, but close. Somehow, Claremont seems to be implying that Namor was a humanizing influence on her (and the other Atlanteans there) and without him Dorma could be a monster.

I also had to look up Lancer, since I remember her appearing at Doom's side for a bit there; but I wasn't sure what happened to her. Narratively, it would make the most sense for her to be loyal to Doom until he eventually went too far, or used her up entirely: arguably, she would have been a creation of Franklin Richards and not necessarily "real," but that would hardly matter to Doom either way, he'd still see here as just another tool for him to use as needed. I don't think her story was really resolved, and neither was her world's: the thrust of this issue, is Doom uses an attack by the Dreaming Celestial to get the power to move the Heroes Reborn earth out of its pocket dimension and into the real world, on the other side of the sun, where the High Evolutionary's Counter-Earth used to be, taking that name. It may or may not still be there to this day? I've noticed this before, but I'm still surprised: so in the 616 universe, today, there's probably at least four earths around somewhere: the regular one, this one, the High Evolutionary's (that got stolen some time back) and the New Universe one that was sealed off. Suck on that, Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planetary Development!...that might be the nerdiest reference we'll ever make here. Read more!