Wish I could nap for 832 centuries...

Kind of steps on your heroic legacy, though; when you have Black Adam go bad around 1250 B.C. or so, some kids in the 20th century, and then a break until the 853rd century!? From 1998, the Power of Shazam #1,000,000, "Between the Rock and a Hot Place" Written and penciled by Jerry Ordway, inks by Dick Giordano.

In the DC One Million future, Mercury is the communications hub for the entire solar system and beyond; yet there are still have-nots, the "information-poor" who can't afford access to the "headnet." (That doesn't seem like it's coming true goddamn now or anything...) A single-mom explorer finds a strange tesseract-space, filled with antique artifacts--that VHS copy of Star Wars may still be worth something, if the original editions never get re-released!--and a bearded, costumed man on a stone throne. She tries to get her claim registered, since this motherlode could pay to get her son Tanist the medical attention he needed for a bad leg. (Internet and healthcare still aren't socialized in the 853rd century? This is what happens when the Republicans stack the courts.)

Unfortunately, her claim is jumped by the shifty, slumming Prospero; who pushes his way past Tanist but gets them both sucked into the tesseract. Dicking around with a "power-icon" for heat vision, he gives the bearded figure a trim, but is surprised when his eyes open and accidentally lights the brazier! Captain Marvel, now possibly older than the wizard Shazam had been, awakens; momentarily confusing Tanist with his old friend Freddy Freeman. Prospero tries to murder them both for the claim; and Tanist is injured by falling rock.

Tanist's mom discovers the claim had already been filed, and tries to get back to her son, only to be trampled by the callous, thrill-seeking upper crust. They're a little cheesed the wi-fi isn't working in the tesseract, and Billy's none too thrilled to have his home invaded by gawkers and looters. With their borrowed, artificial powers, they attack Billy, more for kicks than any malice, for the most part. While disappointed that man really didn't seem to have advanced much, Billy doesn't have time for them, since he needs to help Tanist. The newly orphaned Tanist, since this is a Disney picture...actually, Billy had been orphaned young as well, this seems familiar to him. He advises Tanist to speak his name--"not Lightning Man or Flash. It's Captain Marvel."

Transformed by the magic lightning, Tanist wants to thank him, but is advised saying the name would turn him back, and that he should call Billy "Wizard." The locals are not impressed, though, because the headnet just went down; and if you think people bitch about outages now, well...This was going to continue in Flash #1,000,000; maybe Tanist would get a name there. I kind of wanted to see Prospero get it, too; I don't know if he was supposed to be an analog or future version of Uncle Dudley, but he was awful.

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So far this week we've looked at Atlantis Attacks and Julius Schwartz tributes, as I very slowly progress towards blogging all of them. This next crossover we've blogged maybe four parts of over the years; and it was upwards of 40 issues, so I don't think we'll get all of these! From 1998, Shadow of the Bat #1,000,000, "A Never-Ending Story" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Mark Buckingham, inks by Wayne Faucher.

Batman is MIA this issue, trapped in the 853rd Century with the rest of the Justice League, so today we've got the future's version from Justice Legion A. As he tries to stay ahead of the cops and get to the Batcave for equipment to fight the Hourman Virus that was driving the city paranoid and insane; Batman One Million narrates on a tape for his villain, Xauron, that promises to reveal his secret identity in the end.

Despite looking like a small-b batman, Xauron was the future Batman's Joe Chill: on the prison planet Pluto, after infecting the guards with "the Laughing Virus," Xauron led a massive prison riot that culminated in the murder of the entire prison staff and their spouses, before the eyes of their children. Some fifteen thousand kids, most of whom were traumatized perhaps beyond repair, but one would become the Batman. As the tape ends--and that's more than a bit weird of an anachronism, in that future--Batman swoops in, taking down Xauron and his gang, sentencing them "to life imprisonment--in tesseract space!" I'm guessing that's not unlike the Phantom Zone, if not actually the Zone. They sure don't seem happy about it.

Like I mentioned, we've seen the Creeper, Nightwing, Green Arrow, and Superboy issues; but it seems like it would take me to the 853rd Century to finish this one...
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Traditionally, I thought that was a Marvel Misunderstanding...

I've mentioned I'm not following Secret Wars, and I'm even more not following DC's Convergence, which also features a lot of alternate universe versions fighting each other. But even moreso than Secret Wars, it's tough to read without figuring the original, (in this case) pre-52 versions would be able to solve things pretty quickly. Also, I have a hard time believing the One Million JLA--from the 853rd century--would be jobbed out in the ensuing battles with other universes' teams. (Unless the One Million team is completely dependent on future technology that doesn't work, there's no way they should have problems with vampire superheroes or pirates or whatever.)

Anyway, here's a couple scans from Nightwing #1,000,000, "The Anachronism" Written by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Scott McDaniel, inks by Karl Story. Nightwing meets the Batman from the 853rd century; and after a brief scuffle to establish themselves in the traditional manner, they fight Riddler henchwomen who were trying to rob a safe from a sunken casino.

I'm not sure where this was in Nightwing's continuity; but I liked how future Batman seemed a little disappointed in his life as less a crimefighter, more a warden. The One Million characters could use action figures, but I still need a decent Nightwing figure. Well, maybe this weekend.
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"The End" Week: The Creeper #1,000,000!

He's had two reboots since--three if you count the Vertigo version--but this was my favorite, and a last issue I love: from 1998, the Creeper #1,000,000, "Insanitation"
Written by Len Kaminski, pencils by Shawn Martinbrough, inks by Sal Buscema.

Previously, Jack Ryder had become so frustrated with his insane alter ego/split personality the Creeper, that Jack self-medicated with a "new wonder drug." Jack may have thought it was just going to be like super-Prozac, but instead it has the unfortunate side effect of splitting him and the Creeper into separate bodies. Worse, different fragments of the Creeper's madness keep splitting off as well, leaving the original "a bag of bones, empty as a campaign promise after election day and as useless as complaining about it." In case that wasn't weird enough, since this was a tie-in to DC's One Million event, the Creeper of the 853rd century has traveled back as well, emerging out of the present Creeper's mouth.

Future-Creeper tells Jack, "for all to survive, one of you must be destroyed." He adds that he gets to pick which one, but Jack maces him and gets out of there with the Creeper. Laughing it off, the Future-Creeper starts rounding up, and consuming, the offshoot Creepers. Although he may be done for, Jack won't abandon the Creeper; finally accepting him as a part of him.

Which is apparently what the Future-Creeper wanted: putting the offshoots back in the main one, he also then puts Jack and the Creeper back together, reconciled. Finally in sync, Jack no longer feels that he has to fear or control the Creeper: "He's not my enemy," he narrates before switching to go into action. "He's my partner."

Meanwhile, back in the 853rd century, the Future-Creeper has a secret: when he put the offshoots back, he excised the self-loathing aspect; and he was the cause and solution of the time paradox. Sadly, the issue ends with the final caption "999,988 more such tales remain untold."

But the Creeper is pretty adept at coming back: Steve Niles did a reboot-update in 2006, which I don't remember loving; but had to be better than the New 52 version, that is some kind of demon that lives in Katana's sword or something. That one's especially disappointing, since I like the creators on it, but not the idea. (Nocenti had an awesome run on Daredevil, while Juan Jose Ryp did a batch of books for Avatar.) Maybe a more recognizable Creeper will emerge eventually.

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It's an organization of Ollie's descendants!...a huge organization, then.

It's somewhat unusual for me to look for a comic, and find one I have absolutely no recollection of reading. Like today's book! From 1998 and the 853rd century, Green Arrow #1,000,000, "All Down the Years" Written by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Frank Teran, inks by John Stanisci.

This was set during the time when Oliver Queen was dead and his son Connor Hawke was starring in the book, and the story begins with the meditating Connor stricken with a vision of the future. In said 853rd century, the earth's cities are hidden in space-folding tesseracts, and the surface of the planet has returned to nature; patrolled and protected by the Green Arrows. Many of whom, it turns out, are descendants of Oliver Queen. One such descendant, Hawk, faces another tracing his lineage back to the age of heroes: Groddchild, a cybernetically-enhanced gorilla. Groddchild knows Hawk carries a weapon called the "astral shaft," and to force him to use it, has his henchmen monkeys take his sister Canara hostage. With Hawk in tow, Groddchild heads for a secret warp-portal to the Fortress of Solitude.

While Canara makes her escape, Groddchild's plan almost comes to fruition: Hawk will use the astral shaft on Superman. But not the 853rd century's Superman, the original classic from the twentieth century, who isn't invulnerable to magic! Then, Hawk will control him, and Groddchild will control Hawk. Unfortunately, before Hawk lets the shaft fly, Canara contacts him through the "Worldmind" to let him know she got away, and Hawk shoots Groddchild instead, then forces him to beat himself up. Afterwards, Hawk meets Superman, and asks him about the first two Green Arrows.

Later, at a tribal gathering of the GA's, Hawk tells the others that while none of their ancestors were with the old JLA on this mission--"Not Oliver Queen, nor his sons and daughter"--they could now reach back to their ancestors with their thoughts, giving Connor this vision. And incidentally, tipping him off that his father was still alive. Actually, Connor jumps to that conclusion, since classic Ollie was a complete man-slut and very easily could've had multiple kids he didn't even know about, like Connor, for instance. And the vision mentions Connor's kids for good measure, which seemed out of character since he lived like a monk, but he probably was his father's son.
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This seems familiar somehow...

Familiar, yes, and not just for Superboy One Million's OMAC hairdo, either. (In fact, I was mildly dismayed to realize, I think I own more comics with Superboy One Million, than I do with OMAC.)

Set in the 853rd Century (I believe because, if it stayed on a monthly schedule, Action Comics would hit issue #1,000,000 then) the galaxy is protected by 24 Justice Legions. Justice Legion A is the big guns, the futuristic JLA; Justice Legion Z based on the Super-Pets. Somewhere in the middle, is Justice Legion S, made up of clones of Superboy. With OMAC hair, for some reason.

Even though it would've had to have been undisturbed for 83,000 years, Superboy One Million is looking for the JLA's Fortress of Solitude. When it's pointed out a team can't very well have a headquarters for aloneness, S-Boy admits he could be wrong here. But, he does find something interesting, frozen in the ice...the Guardian. The "real one," although that doesn't necessarily tell you if they mean the original, or one of the first clones of Jim Harper.

S-Boy's been trying to figure out what happened when Justice Legion A went back to the 20th century, since now it's looking like the JLA's gone rogue. Guardian, however, can't remember; so Millionex (an upgrade version of Dubbilex) uses his "temporal telepathy" to show his memories. At the past's Project: Cadmus, Guardian and new agent Superboy are showing around new scientist Serling Roquette; and Guardian is dismayed to see Dabney Donovan, one of DC's maddest mad scientists, is being kept anywhere near Cadmus. Those concerns are tabled, when they, and most everyone else on the planet, are suddenly infected with the mysterious Hourman virus.

Later, Superboy meets the Superman of the 853rd century, who uses his "super-e.s.p." to show him hints of his future, namely a bunch of things that would happen in upcoming issues. But, with Superman-A pushing forward, and Millionex pushing back, they open a time rift that nearly swallows Superboy. The future Superboy uses the power of the eye (which looks a lot like OMAC's Brother Eye) to feed power to the original, helping him save himself. Millionex can't see what else happened then, but Guardian remembers meeting the future Superman at Cadmus, where he would get the tech to try and fight the Hourman virus. (And in a subplot for future issues, Guardian is pushing against the notion that Cadmus should reveal it's secrets to the world.)

From Superboy #1,000,000, "OMAC: One Million and Counting!" 'Story program and graphic assists' by Karl Kesel, 'graphic template' by Tom Grummett.

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