God, I wish this had got a relaunch in the New 52 or something: it almost certainly would've got cancelled again, but we would'a got maybe another 15 issues out of it. From 1998, Major Bummer #8, "Turn of the Screwball" "Ghost writer" John Arcudi, "Apparitions" Doug Mahnke, "Power of Darkness" Tom Nguyen.

Slackjawed moron turned super-powered slackjawed moron Lou Martin had been blackballed by a former employer, and his powers had done nothing to make him any money, so he's reduced to taking a babysitting job. As usual, if a kid has scared off prior nannies and sitters, there's probably a reason. Like demonic possession! Half-asleep after finally getting the kid to bed, Lou inadvertently realizes he has the power to see ghosts; in this case a 1950's suburban couple who had been murdered by a demonically possessed child they had adopted. The ghost dad's dad killed the demon-child, and buried them all in the basement; so the ghost couple was still there, as was the demon. Lou has to knock out the demon, then bury all the remains on consecrated ground.

Meanwhile, setting up a brawl for next issue, bad-girl Nancy visits Nunzio in prison: the gang wanted him back, since he was the only one that was bulletproof; but Nunzio was waiting for his lawyer to get him off. Nancy offers him a lot of incentive; which he was probably going to take.

This was a great series that you should absolutely buy every time you see it in a quarterbin; I know I do.
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I hope to be this stoic. No promises, though.

Off to the dentist today! What could be more fun?...ah, it gets me off work an hour early, so there's that. (Cover from 1974's Action Comics #434, "The Krypton Connection!" Cover art by Nick Cardy.)

And what could be better than Marathon Man references? I don't think kids got those during Clerks: the Animated Series either, but maybe 1997's Major Bummer #2 did better. (Cover by Doug Mahnke and John Dell.)

And I uploaded the cover for Futurama #74 to the GCD, because it's pretty sweet; and for good measure Fry's off to the dentist as well! We'll see if the dynamite sounds like a better idea later...("What The What If?" Written by Ian Boothby, pencils by James Lloyd, inks by Andrew Pepoy.)
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The cards never lie, but I apparently might...

I was going to continue my completely random totally planned week of comics featuring Tarot cards with two issues, and one of them features instead of Tarot cards, a less...traditional fortune-telling tool on the cover: "The litter never lies...your fate is sealed!"

From 1997, Major Bummer #3, "Alone Against the Other Guys!" Written by John Arcudi, pencils by Doug Mahnke, inks by Tom Nguyen. The alien "grad students" that gave Lou Martin superpowers (by mistake...) give more powers to a batch of thugs and their loquacious mugger, because their grad thesis is apparently let's you and them fight! Actually, the aliens mostly just want to see Lou get his ass beat; with mixed results since the assorted thugs are generally as incompetent as everyone else here.

Lou tries to get out of it, but ends up in a fight scene with his wannabe superhero friends. They win when the villains accidentally create a sinkhole, but they'll be back.

Alright, no Tarot cards this issue, so how about this one? From 2005, Nightcrawler #8, "The Winding Way, part 2 of 5: Dark Carnival" Written by Roberto Acuirre-Sacasa, pencils by Darick Robertson, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti.

After surviving an attack by Vermin, and a bunch of hallucinations; Nightcrawler (with love-interest-that-really-didn't-go-anywhere Nurse Christine and here-for-sales Wolverine) goes to Germany, where weird happenings are maybe starting, after a bunch of flashbacks.

Kurt remembers his childhood in the circus, discovering his adopted-mom Margali was training as a sorceress, his adopted brother Stephen was worried about turning evil, and his adopted sister Jimaine (or Amanda) was looking hot. Good times. But no Tarot cards in this actual issue! See, that's why I do this stuff randomly...
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"The End" Week: Major Bummer #15

Need help with your New Year's resolution?

Here's help!

Resolve to get a full set of Major Bummer! From "Saving Time" Written by John Arcudi, art by Doug Mahnke and Tom Nguyen. Hell, I don't even have a full batch, and my issues aren't GCD pretty, either. They've been well-read and well-loved, although I can't recall if I bought them new or from those quarter bins. I want to say I started late, but was buying it on sight by the end...

I don't think the name "Major Bummer" is ever used in the issues I've read, but it's the tale of Lou Martin. As issue #3 introduces him:

Lou's a slacker's slacker, lazy, aimless, and a shade on the dim side; until he gets super-powers, by accident, from a pair of alien grad students. They had intended to give the powers to Martin Louis, an upstanding member of the community, but didn't realize names are last name first in the phone book...Lou accomplishes about as much with powers as he did without, but is now plagued by wannabe superheroes, incompetent alien menaces, and villains whose powers draw them to Lou. It is, of course, hysterical.

Sadly, sales were never great, and I do have to give DC credit for sticking with it as long as it did. Major Bummer was a creator-owned book, but so far Arcudi and Mahnke haven't taken him anywhere else. Maybe a trade someday, guys.

And with that, have a Happy New Year, and drag your hungover ass to the computer sometime tomorrow for the Year in Toys!
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