I can't even tell if he's trying to get cancelled at this point.

I know I don't have all this series, so it's another I'll always grab when I find a random cheap issue: from 2005, Plastic Man #2, "Rubber the Wrong Way" Story and art by Kyle Baker.

When the wallet of Eel O'Brian is found at a murder, the FBI is more determined than ever to find that rat...even if the lead investigator, Plastic Man, had been working that one for years and made zero progress. Namely, because Plas had been Eel O'Brian, before the accident that gave him his powers. The Chief gives him a new partner, Agent Morgan, who would be arrving from Washington today. Frantic, Plas sends Woozy Winks to the airport to delay Morgan, while puppeteering his plastic into a fake Morgan to placate the Chief. Unfortunately, Plas and fake Morgan are met by the real Morgan at the door, and she beats the stuffing out of the fake. OK, as far as first impressions go, that's pretty bad, but Plas then tries to bury the hatchet...by turning into a bicycle and offering her a ride. I...I think human resources may need to be involved at this point.

While Woozy completely botched delaying Morgan--which I'm not positive how he would've found her, even if he'd been looking for the right guy getting off the right plane--his feelings are still hurt when Plas goes off with his new parter, and he decides it's time to up his game from sidekick. Morgan studies a model of the crime scene, while Plas makes shapes behind her, until a brick with a note comes through the window. At a spooky mansion, Plas and Morgan are trapped in a room with the walls closing in, until Plas slips out to clog up the gears. Together, they discover--Red Herring? Who always gets involved in investigations that have nothing to do with him! Then, back at the office, Morgan gets even with Plas, with a little prank with acetone, melting Plas's butt...and exposing his wallet, with Eel O'Brian's ID! Afraid he wouldn't be able to clear his name from prison, Plas tries to escape through the window--which had been replaced with bulletproof glass after that earlier brick incident. To be continued... Read more!

I know a lot of these we come in midstream, but this time...

Plus, everything you know, changes forever! Really! From 2005, Plastic Man #18, "The Edwina Crisis, prologue, part four" Story and art by Kyle Baker.

Previously, emo teen supervillain Ray El Rey had shattered the frozen Plastic Man into pieces, and accidentally disentegrated Plas's love interest Nancy and his adopted daughter Edwina! Ray mourns them, but is then accidentally killed by Woozy Winks spilling a drink on him and shorting his electrical powers, blowing his head off. And that's like three pages in! Woozy then accidentally--you know, just assume anything Woozy has ever done has been an accident--thaws some of the Plastic-pieces, which form tiny Plastic Men! Who themselves mourn Nancy and Edwina, as they try to pull themselves together, which doesn't work the way you would usually figure it would.

Elsewhere, a thug attacks a little girl in a dark alley, but is then himself accosted, by the new Spectre, and Teen Spectre! Yeah, it's Nancy and Edwina. They subject the thug to a variety of punishments, arguing about whether they should be ironic, or cool. Plastic Man bags up Nancy and Edwina's ashes, so he can take them to the monk that previously brought Woozy back to life. (Plas dishes, it was the same monastary Green Arrow went to after he killed a guy!) But the monk is dead, killed by a member of the League of Assassins! Well, throw the monk's ashes in the bag...They crash the LoA headquarters: literally crash, as Plas got frozen and shattered and made into tiny-Plastic Men again. The tiny Plastic Men are getting hacked up right and left, before the arrival of...Ra's Al Ghul! A dramatic reveal, since he had supposedly been dead...like he was about every time he appeared, sure, but still.

There were only two more issues of this series to go, and man, if you thought Baker was taking the piss out of DC before... Read more!

80-Page Thursdays: DC's Crimes of Passion #1!

I almost blogged Beach Blanket Bad Guys again, when I needed to get to this issue; which has another fun cover that may or may not line up with the interiors at all. From 2020, DC's Crimes of Passion #1, featuring stories by Steve Orlando, Stephanie Phillips, James Tynion IV and Sam Johns, and others; and art by Greg Smallwood, Andie Tong, Kieran McKeown, Abel, John Paul Leon, and more.

"10 Tales of Lovers and Lawbreakers!" promises the cover, so let's see! In "More Than Maybe" Batman, early in his career, dates a crusading young socialite who doesn't approve of his methods, which kind of puts the kibosh on that one. "Pulling Punches" features Ted Grant in a title fight, that he's losing until the younger fighter throws the bout because his girlfriend had been kidnapped by the mob, and Wildcat has to help get her back.

"Secret Admirer" is a more rare Pied Piper solo, as a rich superhero collector has something to show him: his first pipe, which he used in a bank robbery back in the day, which may have taught this guy to be a douche going forward. "The Crimson Bomber" interrupts Green Arrow and Black Canary's date night, but he's just a confused and jilted teenager trying to blow up his school. As one does.

"The Prettiest Thing!" is a Plastic Man story in the mold of the Gail Simone series; as an ex of Eel's come to him for help getting away from her mob boyfriend. Pretty good! "Out of the Past" has Batwoman and Maggie Sawyer reluctantly work together to bring down Nocturna, who had caused trouble in their relationship before.

Batman unwillingly gives Slam Bradley "One Last Dance," rather, another chance to bring in the thief Nightjar; basically his Catwoman. Slam does about as well as Batman there! Batgirl and Nightwing wonder about their relationship, in "Knightfalls in Bludhaven," and Catwoman steals a necklace and does some freelance marriage counselling for Valentine's Day in "Can't Buy Me Love."

The closer is probably the high point, though: Ram V and John Paul Leon's "Reflections of the Heart." The Question follows what could be a young vigilante, and wonders if the city is trying to make him jealous; but he's not looking deep enough. Ah, I wish there was more of that! Read more!

Jimmy Olsen, boy middle-aged reporter.

I didn't intend for another post with Jimmy Olsen so soon, yet here we are. From 1996, Superman #110, "The Treasure Hunt Caper" Plot by Dan Jurgens, script by Jerry Ordway, pencils by Ron Frenz, inks by Joe Rubinstein.

Jimmy looks a little older than usual here today, but that may be because this was during his stint as a TV reporter for WGBS. He happens to spy Woozy Winks, and Plastic Man, in downtown Metropolis looking for Superman. In their private investigator office, they were approached by femme fatale Treasure Hunt, who puts them on the case of finding her brother Tiger, who took their company's prototype "sonic atomizer" to try it on Superman! She gives them a pile of cash and a "sonic atomizer nullifier" gizmo to give to Supes. An interesting story, remarkably like one Clark Kent is hearing across town, from Tiger Hunt! He claims his sister is the nutso one, and gives Kent another nullifier to pass along to Superman. Supes finds it curious, while Tiger's heartbeat didn't indicate he was lying, the nullifier is lined with lead; but before he can take it to Professor Hamilton to check out, he sees someone lighting a Batman-esque Superman signal in the night over the city! (The GCD notes Plas basically asks Treasure to sit on his face in the above scan; is he trying to get cancelled? It's not as blatant as the old Big Barda's dress bit, though...)

The signal is of course Plastic Man, on the verge of melting on a hot spotlight. But, the nullifiers begin to glow, then unfold, into...rather silly looking robots, with video screens of Treasure and Tiger not unlike the old, first-generation Spider-Slayer. In the ensuing scuffle, Treasure's robot vacuums in Superman's cape, then takes off. Tiger's bot is smashed, but through the projection he explains this was just his and his sister's hobby, competing for treasures, in this case, Superman's cape! Supes is pretty miffed, and muses it might "almost be worth the effort, to catch up with her robot..." 

At Treasure's estate, she's thrilled with her new prize, and had a trophy case all ready for it. She can't wait to rub her brother's face in it, but remembers she has to cut a check for Plas and Woozy. She could've given it to him right there: Superman must have caught up with the robot, and swapped in Plastic Man, who sneaks his way out of the case. I don't think either of the Hunts gets any punishment, but I'm not sure they ever appeared again, either.

The only subplot page this issue, ties into the next "Triangle" issue, Adventures of Superman #533; as we see Lois Lane ordering pizza with Lori Lemaris. She is right to be appalled there; I don't think I could've ordered a "Neptune's Platter" pizza even as a joke!

Read more!