"Swallow."

OK, it feels like I haven't done one of this style strip in a while, although I probably have: where we visit a bunch of characters briefly and see if by random chance anybody moves the plot forward or if they're all part of the same problem. It's a good excuse to dig up a ton of figures, which I maybe have to organize now. 

Moon Knight's sword is from real current continuity in his book, and it's great! Well worth grabbing. Gwenpool has obviously seen the second season of X-Men '97: I have not yet! But I know what happens and am okay with it. I'm kind of hoping in a season or two they speed-run Amazing X-Men. Also, pink fills! Ah, I didn't miss those.

I feel like there's a better MCU Valkyrie figure, and I have the MCU Sif as well but really prefer this Simonson-style look. Although, I seem to associate it with just before Simonson's run, where Sif seems to slowly realize her extremely long-term boyfriend loves stupid Midgard and its stupid people, maybe more than he loves her.  Also, I like the Sylvie figure from the Loki show, except for her coat-cape thing: it makes her look hunched over, doesn't it? Sadly, I also think hers was not a well-selling figure; you might be able to find her on discount pegs still. 

Gorr's cloak maybe does him less favors than Sylvie's: her articulation was perhaps hindered a bit, but Gorr's is buried. But I like the idea of Gorr more than the execution: Thor: Love and Thunder is kind of a mess tonally? The scene of Gorr scaring children and seemingly having a ball doing it, kind of undermines any sympathy for the plight that drove him to kill gods. Anyway, finding Gorr was strictly an accident, but a good-enough excuse to use him, largely for ridicule. Couple weeks back, the great Poe Ghostal showed off a new Elric figure; that I completely missed the bus on; the aftermarket is not gonna be forgiving on that one. But it reminded me that Gorr, Knull, Dagon Gera from some Star Wars; there's a lot of Elric-lookalikes out there. (Generally they're pale with an evil sword: the bad guy in Hellboy II: the Golden Army is very based on him.)

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Yeah, try your 'gender inspection' on Val, see what that gets you.

Huh, another book with Daimon Hellstrom, I wonder if that means anything? From 1983, Defenders #120, "Sanctuary!" Written by J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Don Perlin, inks by Jack Abel, Kim DeMulder, and Andy Mushynsky.

The bulk of this issue is Daimon, the Son of Satan, in a really maudlin struggle for his identity at a monastery: his "darksoul" maybe wasn't in control anymore, but then, what was left of him without it or fighting it all the time. He was in love with Patsy Walker, Hellcat; and seemed to want a "normal" life; which I think we would see happen for them briefly later: either just long enough to enjoy it before it was taken away, or long enough to realize that wasn't them. At the monastery, Daimon befriends a mysterious new monk, who seems to have a strange power, trying to help him keep it under control. Unfortunately, the 'monk' remembers who he really was: the Miracle Man--not that one, although honestly, at this point he's got a better chance of making a comeback...Anyhow, Miracle Man steals the darksoul from Daimon. And the trident, although it doesn't look as great in green. I wasn't surprised he turned on Daimon, but that this was a two-parter, since Miracle Man was the definition of second-rate: I was thinking he would get got by Scourge next issue, but no, that was later in Thing #24.

Patsy keeps having dreams about Daimon, so she rallies the current Defenders available to help; after a scene in a gym with Beast and Valkyrie, where a meathead accosts her as a man, for the crime of being far stronger than him. Yeah, I'm sure that never happens nowadays... Read more!

2019 was hardly the best of times either; but I don't know how I missed all of this.

It took a spot of digging, but I got all of this series, the Omega issue, and the Daredevil-lead War Scrolls from the dollar bins. There were like 21 tie-in issues for this month's issue alone; and I don't think I read any of them at the time! From 2019, War of the Realms #5, "The World Tree is Burning" Written by Jason Aaron, art by Russell Dauterman.

Along with being a traditional big ol' crossover event, I think this was maybe Aaron and Dauterman's swan song to cap off their Thor run. (Looking at Aaron's last collection, there was maybe some King Thor after that.) The Dark Elf Malekith and his forces had torn through the Ten Realms and established beachheads all over earth: he had a few familiar allies, like Ulik, the Enchantress, and Loki's father Laufey. Laufey had eaten Loki in an earlier issue, taking him off the board...for now. Daredevil has a surprisingly central role in this one: he had taken the sword of the injured Heimdall, which had expanded his senses to a godly degree. Here, he tells Thor that Yggdrasil the World-Tree was growing in the sun, and Thor tells him to nail him to it. (It's a Norse god thing, Odin had done it probably more than once!) I suddenly feel like they missed a trick, not giving DD the old spacey-face Captain Mar-Vell used to get with cosmic awareness!

Various bands of heroes team-up with surviving gods, to counter-attack: the Punisher also has a surprisingly large role, which would lead into his Punisher Kill Krew mini-series. Spider-Man has a fun appearance here, with the corpse-eating Spiders of Hel, who seem to have taken a shine to him, to Spidey's chagrin. (Aaron writes a great crossover Spidey: he's not the main guy, but helps out and has jokes!) Jennifer Walters was a thicker, less-articulate She-Hulk at the time; which seems to be super-attractive to large chunks of Malekith's forces, but an issue of War Scrolls points out she was seeing Thor at the time. And while several characters, including fallen Valkyrie Brunnhilde, wanted her to live her life in peace, Jane Foster returns to the fray, picking up a hammer again.

For reference, this was about the same time as the start of the Krakoa era, and most of this series would've been on racks while Avengers: Endgame was in theaters! Read more!

Hey, this ain't a Two-in-One! Gimme my quarter back!

Well, this was continued from Marvel Two-in-One #7. Synopis: "The Thing and Valkyrie stop Enchantress and the Executioner. The Thing saves the world with a supernatural harmonica." Aw, man...from 1975, Defenders #20, "The Woman She Was...!" Written by Steve Gerber, layouts by Sal Buscema, finishes by Vince Colletta.

The Enchantress and Executioner are here briefly, as this ties into what was the current origin for Valkyrie: "...created full grown, without a past, by the Enchantress's magic--and inhabits the body of Barbara Denton--a person she never knew." Amora and Skurge split, although not before the Thing gives him a couple good shots, but their plan had fallen through: Ben figured, the magic harmonica from the previous chapter was probably out of juice. He moves to help Val, who was torn up with grief over the death of the father she didn't know, and she tells him she would do this alone. He's a little hurt, but then decides he might as well go home, until Doctor Strange's astral form appears, to tell him there was still danger. Yeah, yeah, whatever: Ben takes a nap, waiting for Strange and another friend of Val's to show.

Val brings her father's body to the police station, unaware that a local snitch has also seen her. Although it had apparently been a couple years since Barbara Denton had been home, the locals still recognize her and treat Val as such. The police chief seems nice enough, helping her to her old house and letting her in with a spare key; but also lets slip that Barbara had been married! Meanwhile, the Thing is awakened, but not by Reed Richards, but by Doctor Strange and Nighthawk! Ben hadn't met Nighthawk before, and the latter grouses a bit about the non-team team nature of the Defenders, with a roster of whoever felt like showing up that day...and at her house, Val is attacked by a caped figure with zappy-hands. Hey, this copy still has the MODOK Marvel Value Stamp! Nice.

In the front yard of Val's house, the Thing and Nighthawk fall through a trapdoor: the snitch is there, but alarmed that he got those two and not Strange. Still, Ben can't climb out of the electrified walls, and was too big for Nighthawk to carry. Worse, the snitch disappears, and he snagged the magic harmonica! With some mystic force blocking his way, Strange enters the front door, and finds a portrait of a woman who resembles an older Val: Celestia, which was the name inscribed on the harmonica as well. Strange also gets zapped by the caped creep, and trussed up on a sacrificial altar with Val, by worshippers of the Nameless Ones, included the grotesquely deformed Celestia, who was more than willing to sacrifice her daughter for power and beauty.

Ben and Nighthawk get free, and wade into the cultists and Nameless Ones, while the narration explains all of this had been going on since way back in Incredible Hulk #126. (Which I might have a reprint of handy! Sooner or later.) Events had piled up to turn Barbara into Valkyrie and maybe use her power to unleash the Nameless Ones, but nobody planned on the appearance of the Thing! Ben gets the harmonica from Celestia and destroys it, then frees Val and Strange. Celestia turns to ashes, the Nameless Ones don't fully manifest, and Strange hypnotizes the cultists to...leave? Turn themselves in? Jump in a lake? While this might have been deeply traumatizing for everyone involved, Strange still feels like they eked out a win today. This wrapped up pretty quickly, and feels more like a Two-in-One than a Defenders, which might be why I like it a little more? The next issue blurb teases Val's husband, problems for Nighthawk, and the Headmen; so the return to usual. Read more!

Yet another "The End" Week begins!

I started this bit 14 years ago, partly because the last week of the year was probably going to be a low-content area for comic book blogs...back when there were a lot of them, posting on the regular...and because last issues have always held an interest for me. It seems like even longer ago, but it used to be the last issue of a comic maybe meant the big goodbye, that you were not going to see those characters again, ever. Back when Star Wars was cancelled, I thought that was it; there would be no more Star Wars for me, in any way, shape, or form, forever. Really! When you're done laughing, yes, I was wrong. And comics being what they are, tons of books are cancelled, then retooled and relaunched later...sometimes by 'later' I mean 'immediately.' Every so often there might be one like Master of Kung Fu #125 or Micronauts #20 that seem like a hard stop, and they still come back! He hasn't got a new series yet, but Marvel's brought back Crystar; and I suspect are eying ROM. (Two last issues I haven't blogged yet!) 

So, we'll start with a title that's I know I've got two last issues for right here; but it's also had um, at least two miniseries, and like three more series since; and that's before you start throwing adjectives like 'Secret' or 'Fearless' into the mix. From 2002, Defenders #12, "Silent but Deadly" Story and art by Erik Larsen; and "Fooling with Mother Nature" Written by Jo Duffy and Kurt Busiek, pencils by Ivan Reis, inks by Randy Emberlin.

Even though Busiek and Larsen would've been pretty good gets as far as creative teams go, this series seemed to have a rough time of it: #8 features a blurb on the cover from a comics site (actually, a magazine!) proclaiming Defenders "The Worst Comic Ever Produced" but I've mentioned before, I liked the issues I read. The opener this issue isn't the strongest, as it was for 'Nuff Said month (like the Captain Marvel issue we mentioned the other day) and was silent: the cursed Defenders (Strange, Namor, Hulk, and the Surfer) get teleported to defend the earth yet again, this time in a mysteriously silent and rocky environment, which is shortly filled with rocky monsters.

Larsen's usually good for comedic touches, like the Hulk getting Namor's attention, by throwing a good-sized rock at him. It might be intentional: when the spell is broken, and sound returns, the guys still don't seem to have anything to say to each other, they were pretty over this...The second story, "Fooling with Mother Nature" includes the Defenders that did (usually) want to be there, Nighthawk, Valkyrie, and Hellcat; helping fight time-distorting baddie Chronarch. Who turns out to be a janitor that accidentally broke/created a time vortex, and gets wrapped up in a few pages; but the main four are again pissed that they had to show up for that, as the curse was getting to them. Back at Doctor Strange's Sanctum, Nighthawk's "spiritual advisor" Papa Hagg stops by to help, and gets bounced by Strange. The four then decide, if they can't get at the dead Yandroth to break the curse, they can go to Gaea, goddess of earth, and make her break it.

Nighthawk, somewhat dismayed, follows them and observes them petitioning a seemingly disinterested Gaea, who refuses to release them, even after they attack her. She teleports them away, dismissively; and when Nighthawk finds them again, the four have resolved to "tolerate this state of affairs no longer--and we will do what must be done!" This was setting up them going bad for a bit, in the Order, another name Marvel seems to trot out every so often. I'm not sure how much Nighthawk's relationship to the team was explored (or Patsy's, or Val's) as this feels like he's on a basketball team with four other guys who would barely let him sit on the bench.

Well, since I've got a moment, we might as well glance at another last issue that's been in the pile for some time: from 1986, the New Defenders #152, "The End of All Songs" Written by Peter B. Gillis, pencils by Don Perlin, inks by Dell Barras.

This is yet another last issue that's still part of a crossover event, so drink! It's a Secret Wars II tie-in, so of course we get the Beyonder midway through this just to muddy the waters, but this was straight-up editorial deck-clearing: Angel, Beast, and Iceman had to be reset and freed up to go to X-Factor #1, which I read when it came out, and can't recall if any of them so much as mention being part of the Defenders or losing all their teammates. Also, Beast had a dog, and doesn't get to bring it with him? Man. Moondragon, infected by the "Dragon of the Moon" and then empowered by the Beyonder, wants to do good, but also thinks killing the Defenders would be a good first step there. While Moondragon tortures the X-guys by threatening various supporting cast members, the other Defenders sacrifice themselves to destroy the Dragon, and are seemingly reduced to crumbling ash.

Valkyrie's pretty much the only one we really care about, and while Gillis may have intended to bring everyone back later, I think it was a spell for her. Despite being really vindictive and mean here, Moondragon is given a bit of an out in the end, that she helped save some supporting cast before her end; and she would be back in 1989, well before the others. I think Moondragon gets the bump because she was an Avenger; but Valkyrie had to be more popular?

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The previous issue had a Hulk blurb and no Hulk; this cover's got Dr. Strange and no Strange...

But three dead Defenders, well, that's probably plenty. From 1978, Defenders #67, "Val in Valhalla, part 2: We, the Unliving..." Plot by David Anthony Kraft; plot, script, and pencils by Ed Hannigan; inks by Bruce Patterson.

We saw the previous chapter some time back, and this chapter opens in Oregon, in a state park where the Hulk has been peacefully hanging out. The Army can't have that, of course; and tries to ambush him with gas. While that doesn't work, they are still more successful than they realize, as the Hulk has a heart attack and dies! Since they didn't see his body land, they assume he just hopped off somewhere. Meanwhile, in scenic Valhalla, Harokin's forces have been defeated, since god of death-wannabe Ollerus has a moveable mountain, tear-assing across the countryside. He also has captured Valkyrie, while using Barbara Noriss as a pawn.

Back on earth, Hellcat and Nighthawk are also killed, in rather Twilight Zone fashion, in a car wreck: even seeing their bodies carted off, they don't realize they were dead until "Valkyrie" shows up for them. Ollerus's plan was to kill as many people as he had to on earth, to bring their spirits into his forces, building them up until he was declared the new god of death. Valkyrie realized, although her costume had been changed, she was in the body of Barbara Norris...which is spelled differently every time it's brought up...and she starts fighting her way out, past chatty "watch-dragons," with the help of Harokin on Aragorn. They don't see "Valkyrie" arrive with Hellcat and Nighthawk, as the Hulk shows up with a lot of souls from earth, for Ollerus to "implore you--fight with me, lest earth and Valhalla perish!"

The letters page mentions, this was the last issue for writer Dave Kraft, who was off to run a publishing company in Georgia. He wasn't done with Marvel, though; he wrote most of the Savage She-Hulk. I might have missed it before, though: he passed away in 2021 from COVID. Read more!

He's an Eternal, too? Crap, that's gonna come up again.

For some reason, at some point I was positive I had an almost complete collection of Defenders, which doesn't make any sense, since I've never been able to read the last two years of the title! The "New Defenders" stuff with Beast, Angel, and Iceman; after Dr. Strange, Namor, and the Hulk are all written out? Never been able to get into it; I'm not sure why. This guy's tenure on the team was up around about then, anyway: from 1983, the Defenders #117, "The Gift" Written by J. M. DeMatteis, pencils by Don Perlin, inks by Jack Abel.

The Over-Mind had originally been (and would be again...) an alien Eternal with a billion minds collected within it; but those consciousnesses were believed either destroyed or suppresed, and now six dead telepaths, the Chorus, resided within. After a memorial service for Kyle (Nighthawk) Richmond, they realized they would need closure on their past lives, since they lived in a ten-foot-tall ginger now...sounds like the worst season of the Real World yet!

Meanwhile, Valkyrie wonders what's wrong with her best pal, Hellcat; who seems suddenly cold to her: Val had been restored to her own body, but was so different she was like a stranger to Patsy. Val pretty much picks up Patsy's ass and sets her straight: they were still besties. They get back to Dr. Strange's in time to welcome Over-Mind to the team...but, he would leave by the New Defenders era, and be a bad-guy again by his appearance in Quasar (a four-issue stretch, he wouldn't appear on the covers once!) so whatevs. Read more!

Ooh, don't say "unhand."

Bit insensitive there, Sif. From 1981, Thor #312, "The Judgement of Tyr" Written by Doug Moench, layouts by Keith Pollard, embelllisments by Gene Day. 

Dr. Donald Blake is facing an inquest, for a patient who died after an operation: Blake had left immediately after the surgery to deal with Thor-stuff, and may not have been there to save a patient. If he could've been saved, which seems doubtful: the inquest kind of feels like someone had an ax to grind with Blake. Meanwhile, in Asgard, the god of war Tyr busts into Sif's house, to present himself as her boyfriend now.  

Oh, that'll go over well. Rejected and already resentful of Thor, Tyr brings a grievance to Big Daddy Odin: Asgardians weren't supposed to leave Asgard without explanation and a majority vote from the other gods! Continuing the title's proud tradition of Asgardian rules, laws, and decrees never brought up before and never referenced again. It's basically Calvinball. Tyr also claims the god of war by rule has to bring back the offender to face trial by vote; Odin thinks it's a nuisance, but can't exempt his kid from the rules other Asgardians have to obey. But that's just the pretense for Tyr to get to Midgard: he also 'borrows' Odin's "Mace of the Myth-Wars," since Thor was gonna be killed resisting arrest...

Tyr tries to murder Blake, who manages to change into Thor in time. Tyr complains Thor is overrated and would be nothing without Mjolnir, and proceeds to get his ass kicked: Thor destroys the Mace, then trounces him hand-to-hand...damn, sorry. Thor was already in a bad mood, being judged "by those who aren't in a position to fairly do so" at Blake's inquest, and Tyr's accusations felt like more of the same. Which might lead to him rushing in mad to Asgard, next month!

Also this issue: Tales of Asgard, featuring the Valkyries, in "Baptism of Fire!" Written by Mark Gruenwald and Ralph Macchio, pencils by Keith Pollard, inks by Gene Day. Hel had annexed Valhalla into her realm of the dead, Niffleheim; so Odin sends his Valkyries to take it back. Next month's story was "Last Ride of the Valkyries!" so it's not looking good: neither is that cover, I don't think I've picked that one up at all.

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I know he grew a lot as a character, but I still hate the idea that Flash Thompson might've got with Valkyrie.

Hitting a motivational dead zone, so time to grab the nearest comic and...huh, not bad: from 2013, Venom #29, "Drowning in a Nightmare" Written by Cullen Bunn, pencils by Thony Silas, inks by Nelson DeCastro and Terry Pallot. 

Per the recap, the Flash Thompson Venom--usually Agent Venom, if you're an action figure fan--had recently beat Carnage and Daimon Hellstrom, but may be becoming concerned about a growing inner darkness. He's also dating Valkyrie, but gets called away to help his reporter friend Katy, who had discovered the U-Foes were kidnapping people in Philadelphia. Flash tries to find her, but is seemingly killed: he had used a "gimmick play," namely playing possum. I've mentioned before that Flash likes his sports metaphors, and he notes it himself here, berating himself for doing so when real people had just died.

Meanwhile, in their warehouse hideout, the U-Foes are about to subject Katy to an experiment: they may have found a pile of tech from the fabled Philadelphia Experiment. Team leader Vector had been an industrialist, I think; but he was no Reed Richards: his experiments have been largely trial and error. Some test subjects were now his crew, but several had died. Katy's test appeared to be "some sort of memory machine, hmm?" Vector opts to leave her in it, just to see what'll happen.

Trailing back through Katy's sources, Venom is able to find the warehouse's neighborhood, which is close enough for the U-Foes to give killing him another try. Venom didn't come alone--well, actually, he did, but he brought a sword, which serves as a beacon for Valkyrie! Who seems rather put off by being introduced as "my girlfriend," which Flash hadn't planned on, it just slipped out. Still, they've bitten off more than they could chew, and Vector downs them both. As Flash struggles to get up, a voice says "No. You can't."

If I'm not mistaken, this turn wasn't unexpected, and may have set up the next step for them: while Flash used the symbiote, I don't think they were necessarily partners up until now. After maybe a bit of (tongue) lashing out, Venom might be closer to him. I could very well be wrong about this, and I'm not going back to look; but I swear Marvel relaunched so many titles that for a brief stretch, Venom had the highest numbering across all their titles! Several have since gone back to their 'legacy' numbering, but still.

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I feel like you won't see all three together again anytime real soon...

I enjoyed the third season of Jessica Jones, although it reached a point where everything Patsy Walker did was wrong or went wrong, to keep the drama going. She gets off a little easier today, but maybe not for long: from 2016, Patsy Walker, A.K.A. Hellcat! #5, written by Kate Leth, art by Brittney L. Williams.

Civil War II wouldn't do it any favors; but this book was trying to carve a fun little niche out for itself, as Patsy worked to set up a temp agency for people with super-powers who weren't necessarily the superhero type. Much of this issue was wrapping up an old foe and a new competitor: Casiolena. Who we've actually seen on the blog before, although I thought it was spelled with two S's! She both described as and taunted as a "third-rate Enchantress," which admittedly has to grate after a while; her trying to go extra-bad is almost understandable. Even her lackey turned on her, and with the help of Valkyrie and She-Hulk, Casiolena and her supervillain app are wrapped up.

Patsy still has problems, though: her old rival Hedy Wolfe got the rights to the Archie-like comics Patsy's mom made about her, and was republishing them to Patsy's embarrassment. (I first learned about Patsy's history in the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, but my understanding is: Patsy was kind of like if Betty had married Archie, who went into the army and became an abusive dickhole, then got herself superpowers. Hedy was basically a meaner Veronica?) Hedy may have something more in mind, though, as she hires Jessica Jones to dig up any dirt on Patsy. Williams uses a softer style than usual for Marvel, so this does feel like some of the edges get sanded down on Jessica: she has a huge name plate, and a drink, in a glass, with ice! Fancy, somebody's making an effort today. (I tease, but yeah.) Read more!