Hey, a review! Playmates Star Trek Bridge Playset

I don't do reviews very often, but I bought the Star Trek bridge set the other day, probably a good what, four months and change after it came out? Well, I suppose the rule is now I have to mention that I purchased this product and did not receive any gifts, services, or fabulous prizes for this. I had only seen one other review for this online, but that may be because it's like reviewing a build-a-figure when you only have the legs.

The bridge begins life in a box with a photo of a more complete, and populated bridge than you get out of the box. Granted, that's the only way to do it, since it's too big to pack showing what's inside. There is a small window showing the enclosed Kirk figure, so you could perhaps give it the once-over for glaring paint errors.

I'm a pretty patient man, but I destroyed the hell out of this box getting everything out, mainly the Kirk. I sincerely doubt you could unpack and repack everything in there; but if you were so inclined as to devote hours to it, I won't stop you.

The set comes with the centerpiece of the bridge, the captain's chair; and the helm and navigation stations. Those two are traditionally where Sulu and Chekov sit.

Kirk takes the big chair easily enough, but it seemed like it's too high. There is a steep dropoff just behind him as well, that I think is a couple of feet in-scale, and seems like a safety hazard.

Much more after the break, and a short cartoon at the end!

Unlike the rest of the bridge pieces (which we'll get to) the seats for the helm and navigation consoles are locked into place. Which is nice, except...Sulu and Chekov can't sit back in the chairs, and reach their stations. My Chekov figure has a sticky leg, and refuses to sit well anyway, but the point remains. There are a few sculpted elements to the console, like the throttle; but it's mostly flat. While there's not really paint, there are a few stickers for the appropriate mass of unlabeled buttons that Sulu and Chekov use. They're nice enough, with no bubbling.

The viewscreen is open, with a printed insert to slide into it. Did it sit so low in the movie? I want to say it should be a little higher off the floor, but I could be confusing it with the original series, or my Mego bridge.

Last are the two "data screens." They are clear, with some info displayed on them. They do serve to divide the bridge a bit, from the main area and the little ancillary stations.

There isn't much sculpt left, since the rest of the playset is...a mat. Since I haven't seen the movie in a bit, I can't say it's the exact color of the Enterprise's floor--for some reason, probably the lens flares, I wanted to say it was whiter. Since the mat is a thin plastic, and comes rolled-up in the box, you will probably have to weigh it down and press it flat to get started.

The viewscreen insert is of the Romulan ship Narada, including some of the little technical pop-ups. Unlike the mat, the insert comes flat and is stiffer, so it slides in and displays well. It's also semi-clear, so it doesn't completely block light. But...the set only comes with one insert, non-reversible. Not to get all old-timer here, but I had the classic Mego bridge, and I had three interchangeable viewscreens, double-sided. Alternative screens would add a ton of play value.

Now, since it's a playset, that means no articulation, right? Well, no. Kirk's chair turns, but doesn't stick: it will spring back to center. Moreover, since the base is a (mostly) flat mat, once you center the captain's chair piece on there, there is nothing holding it in place. Well, technically not 'nothing,' just inertia, gravity, and the force of your will; so it's super-easy to knock it out of whack. And that's the heaviest set piece: the other consoles will shift with a harsh glance.

Other consoles? That's right! To complete your bridge playset, you need to purchase the other figures in Playmates' 3.75 inch line, or at least the ones that come with bridge pieces. In the first wave, Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Pike, Sulu, and Cadets Chekov and McCoy all come with additional chairs and consoles to fill out the set. (Uhura, Nero, and Original Spock come with additional pieces for the transporter room set.)

Got all seven? You're halfway there! The rest will come with the second wave of figures, which I have yet to see in stores.

If you go the distance, you are going to end up with an extra gold-shirted Kirk: the bridge comes with one, but you need the single-packed for the console. Actually, you could get a few more Kirks to boot: the second wave appears to include black-shirted Kirk, survival gear Kirk, and possibly cadet Kirk.

Admittedly, if you were interested in the playset, you were probably interested in at least some of the other figures; since it's pretty rare for only one person to be on the bridge. (Original series episodes "This Side of Paradise" and "The Mark of Gideon" are the exceptions that prove the rule...) It is a little more purchase-intensive than your average build-a-figure; but on the other hand, if you buy one figure they can still sit in their chair and console.

You may consider the included Kirk figure the accessory here. It's not the best likeness in the first wave of figures, but not terrible. Still, it doesn't compare well to a similarly scaled G.I. Joe or Star Wars figure.

Like his single-packed brethren, Kirk comes with a belt (with non-removable communicator) and phaser.

The bridge of the Enterprise is inherently fun; and once you get some consoles it is neat to set them up, move them around, man the stations, and so on.

But right out of the box, I don't know how much fun the lone Kirk and chairs are. Other viewscreens to display would've been great, and it seems a crime that there is no sound effects button here.

Now, here's a crapshoot: If you were to buy the bridge set and the seven figures with bridge accessories, at full retail, it would run you an estimated $74 American. ($25 for the playset, $7 each for the figures.)

Personally? I picked up the bridge, and the majority of the figures, and three spares for additional consoles; for under $35. (Currently, I'm missing Original Spock, but he comes with a transporter piece.) So, if you shop it around, it's more than likely you could pick it up on the cheap. The Oldest and I have discussed possibly "customizing" the spares into other crewmen. With Sharpies.

The mat does seem a bit thin and a bit slick. If you have some weights, perhaps a couple textbooks or such, I'd recommend trying to flatten it right out of the box.

Overall? Well, I don't know if I would've paid more than I did. In fact, no, I wouldn't.

There is probably a perfectly valid reason why not, but a hard plastic base instead of a mat; would've improved this playset by a factor of ten. A hard plastic base, that you could tab or lock the additional set pieces onto? That would've been a hundred times better. (I freely admit, there could be multiple reasons why that wouldn't have worked, even excluding price point.)

I was very disappointed in the lack of additional main viewscreen displays. A generic space one, or incoming Klingons, or asteroids and debris; would've been much appreciated. Ditto a sound button: phaser and photon torpedo fire, an explosion, and done. Seems like a no-brainer. If this scale and price point are more for kids than collectors, you have to hit those marks to put it over the top.

I like that Playmates included a Kirk figure. I don't like that it's the same as the carded one, and that you still need that one for the bridge piece. One should have been a variant of some sort; and even though it's his traditional look, he only wears the gold shirt for about fifteen seconds in the movie. (Oh, it's been out for months, that's not a spoiler.)

Lastly, I'm still seven to ten pieces away from filling all the empty spots. Since I haven't seen the second wave of figures yet, I don't know which comes with what, but two may come with additional data screens; I'd be willing to bet Scotty's little alien sidekick Keenser comes with one. And it looks like the rearmost consoles may be a little different, with a round protuberance. Otherwise, you may be well-advised, to hit clearance aisles for marked down first series figures to fill in those empty spots.

Even after all that, there is still some fun to be had with the Star Trek Bridge Playset. It just that, it could have been better.

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Supergirl/Wonder Girl conclusion: Actually calling him "Dickbat" is unbelievably awkward.

The topic of who in the DC Universe knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman has been up for debate for years now, and now that debate can expand into who knows Dick Grayson is Batman. Probably everyone who knew the former, and then some. (For a start, check out Lorendiac's List of same from Comics Should Be Good.)

Part of the debate is, that during the early, good, Wolfman/Perez Teen Titans days, the full roster of Titans seemed to be privy to Batman's identity. Which eventually led to Terra, and Deathstroke, getting the secret. Which probably led to the Batman editors having a cow that Teen Titans was letting the cat out of the bag. Plus, if you are OK with the idea of Danny Chase maybe knowing Bruce Wayne is Batman; you need to sit down and seriously re-evaluate where you are in life.

While I figure Blackest Night is going to be the big crossover while it's ongoing; I'm kind of surprised DC hasn't tried to expand Damian/Robin into some event thing. I know he's appeared in Booster Gold, and is going to be in Batgirl later, but Robin versus the Teen Titans is the obvious one. It sure couldn't hurt that book any...but it may be interesting to see that little brat interact with say, Wonder Woman. Or the returned Superboy, since the Damian/Connor relationship would be a far cry from Connor and Tim's. Or the Secret Six. That kid would be their leader in fifteen minutes.

Of course, I say this, but since Wednesday's Comics and Final Crisis: Escape both ended, the only DC book on my pull list? Warlord.

That's it for this particular series of strips: it was fun, but the girls didn't have enough articulation for a lot of body language. Plus the combination of my crummy lighting and their glossy skintones wasn't great. Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight.
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"Wreckered, part one"

The Wrecker has yet to get a proper action figure, either in Marvel Legends or any other line. His cohorts in the Wrecking Crew, Thunderball and soon Piledriver, will get figures in the Marvel Universe scale; so there's every possibility Wrecker and Bulldozer will as well. Piledriver, who very possibly was a congenital moron, comes packed with Hawkeye; since they had a scene together in Secret Wars where Piledriver has the nerve to be surprised when Hawkeye shoots him with a simple, non-trick, pointy arrow. (Hawkeye gives him ample warning beforehand.)

Yeah, I don't like the Wrecking Crew. The closest equivalent I can think of would be DC's Royal Flush Gang: they can put up a good fight, but are far too stupid to ever win, come up with an interesting scheme, or even figure out how they're going to get beat. They're the next step in hired goons, in that they have that super-strength, and expect you to remember their names. The only time they're really interesting, and I'm stretching the definition, is when they're in service to someone else, like Dr. Doom in Secret Wars or Baron Zemo in the Masters of Evil.

Plus, in the Wrecker's old Marvel Universe entry, it points out that the Wrecker at full power could press about 40 tons (versus Thor at the high end of the scale at 100 tons) but when he shares his power with the Crew, they all go to about 10 tons, roughly around Spider-Man's level. Now, sure, there are other factors, and ten tons or none, I wouldn't want to be on the business end of a crowbar; but it always seemed like Thor, or Spidey for that matter, should mop the floor with them easy. (Old school OHOTMU fans may remember the Wrecker's crowbar is the last full entry, in the last first series issue, #15. They may also remember the Wrecker's crowbar isn't as curved as the one I have here, from the Spirit action figure...)

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten.
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I'm only fifty-plus days late on this one:

I swear, this is the first thing I thought of when Disney purchased Marvel: sure, Disney's getting a library of more than 5,000 Marvel characters, including The Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, the X-Men, The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man; but there are a lot of good characters further down the list as well. Or, at least ones with untapped potential, like Morbius, the Blazing Skull, Death's Head, or Woodgod. (Maybe not Woodgod, but can't you just see him happily prancing around with the happy little Disney woodland creatures, until one of them gets killed and Woodgod has to go berserk?)

Somewhere, I saw pointed out that to turn a profit on this deal, Disney would need to see a return of what, over $800,000 per character? More than that, because they're never going to get any cash out of Bloodhawk, the Devourer, and the Raptor. And those are just the lamest ones I've blogged about, you can probably think of others. (Oddly, I keep thinking of lame characters they probably could get some money out of, like the female Dr. Octopus from the Clone Saga: somebody would buy her action figure...)

But I immediately thought of one that probably isn't going to become a Disney Princess: Oubliette from Marvel Boy:

Which is actually kind of a shame: Oubliette (noun: a dungeon with only one opening.) describes herself as "the Lara Croft of evil." She quickly proves to be less evil, more used since birth by her megalomaniac father Dr. Midas. Among other crimes, Midas convinced his daughter she was hideously ugly under her mask (she wasn't) and he seemed to be wearing an old Iron Man suit for some reason.

I haven't been as enamored of Grant Morrison's recent work, but damn, I loved this one. From the trade Marvel Boy, written by Grant Morrison, pencils by J. G. Jones, inks by Sean Parsons. The scan is from issue #6, which I couldn't find for the life of me, and finally just bought a used copy of the trade. Which I wholeheartedly recommend, and I also recommend finding a copy while you can, since I doubt Disney will be keen on reprinting that one.

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Captain America's funeral: Heartbreaking. Tragic. And yet really familiar...

So, the other day I re-read Punisher/Captain America: Blood & Glory, a three-issue prestige miniseries from 1992. Klaus Janson's art carries it, but D.G. Chichester turns in a right fine story as well. But one moment--well, more than one, we'll come back to it--stuck with me: the bad guys put together some evidence framing Cap, then get it to the Punisher, so Frank shoots him. (Just like he shot Nick Fury, but in Frank's defense, apparently he can shoot good guys and they'll be OK.) Cap's hurt, but he'll live; but he tells Nick Fury to let him die. As far as anyone knows.

Cap plays dead to go undercover, which lasts about nine pages before he's recognized. He's even recognized out of uniform, more than once. But that scene seemed familiar...
(Picture taken from USA Today, since I couldn't find the issue with the actual funeral.) OK, like Cap's most recent funeral, where he was 100%, absolutely, positively, irrevocably dead. Until he wasn't.


For his funeral in the classic "the strange death of captain america" Cap was faking again, this time to re-establish his secret identity. Which he then kept and fiercely protected, until he didn't. (From Captain America #112, "as reported by Lee-Steranko-Palmer-Simek.")

Now, this time Cap may have been kinda dead: frozen in a block of ice again, this time to buy time for the Red Skull to stop Cap's degenerating Super-Soldier Serum; so the Skull can use Cap in a gambit to claim the Cosmic Cube. And the whole issue reads faster than that last sentence, and I mean that in a good way. (Of course! It's Captain America #445, "Operation: Rebirth, chapter one: Old Soldiers Never Die" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Ron Garney, inks by Scott Koblish.)

This time, Captain America was supposedly killed in an explosion--OK, a really big explosion, a small town blown up by a Nazi suicide cult--but why Cap allowed everyone to believe he was dead isn't really clear, except to get a grim-as-hell miniseries set in South America and then a new first issue out of the deal. (The credit box is right there! But it's from Captain America #50, "Stars & Stripes Forever" Written by Evan Dorkin, art by Kevin Maguire; and I would not have minded at all if they had done a ton more Cap stories.)


OK, now that's a What If? so it doesn't strictly count, but still. From #26, "What If Captain America had been elected president?" Written by Mike W. Barr, art by Herb Trimpe and Mike Esposito.

So, let's see here: we've got funerals from 1968, 1981 (with an asterisk, the What If?) 1992, 1995, 2002, and 2007. And while three of them are completely faked, with Cap's complicity; his friends grieve for real each time. I for one would be pretty damn thrilled to have the Thing as a pallbearer, but I think I'd just be happy to have more than one funeral...

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Thanos must go through a lot of chairs...

In case you thought I was joking about Thanos and his vendetta against Deadpool, here's the proof, from Deadpool #64, "Funeral for a Freak, part 4 of 4, Deadpoolalooza!" This was the last issue from writers Frank Tieri and Buddy Scalera, penciler Jim Calafiore, and inkers Wong and McKenna; next month Gail Simone and Udon would tear that sucker up. So, #64 isn't the worst Deadpool issue ever, and they do pick the place up when they're done.

Let's look at one more page, from #60, "Deadpool, Agent of Weapon X, part 4: Flatline" Written by Frank Tieri, pencils by Georges Jeanty, inks by Holdredge and Wong. The Weapon X program lures in Deadpool by juicing up his healing factor to insane levels, but after Sabretooth (on orders of the Director) kills Wade's old flame Vanessa, all bets are off: Wade kills Kane, fights through Wild Child and Sauron, before getting to the big boss:

What is with Sabretooth's fingerless opera gloves there? The fight goes south pretty quickly for Deadpool, as Weapon X deactivates his healing factor, and Pool is melting fast. Shortly thereafter, Pool cuts his own hand off and crams it into Sabretooth's lungs, which sadly doesn't take. Deadpool is then ignobly shot down by the Director, Poochie, and a bunch of goons; the Director then mails Pool's hand and a taunting note to Wolverine. And somehow Weapon X got a series out of this.

Not loving this issue either: Pool's out for vengeance in the traditional (cliche) manner, but doesn't seem especially broken up about Vanessa's death. Like it was just the excuse he needed to go on the warpath. (Maybe Pool gets more emotional in a prior issue, maybe.) At any rate: I think I liked Tieri's run on Iron Man better...
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This seems like the hard way to get a Zombie.

Although his return is hyped on the cover without mentioning his name, the third story in Daredevil Annual #9 is a mild disappointment, since it doesn't feature the promised Zombie/Daredevil/Doppelganger throwdown that was promised: Daredevil doesn't appear in this story. Instead, Calypso, best known for her appearance in Todd McFarlane's first Spider-Man story, sets out to bring back Simon Garth, the so-called Living Zombie, since she wants to see the "zombie whose spirit never fled his body at death." She tries to seduce Papa Doc, who buried Garth to put him to rest, then stabs Doc when that doesn't work. Classy.

After Garth rises from the grave yet again; to test him, Calypso brings back the Doppelganger, or the Red Devil, or the Devil Ge Rouge: Daredevil's evil counterpart from the Infinity War crossover. The ungrateful Doppel-Devil turns on Calypso, and the Zombie obeys orders and fights him, in a spiritless manner. The Zombie does bite him one, but more from instinct than anything; and as a creation of voodoo, this Zombie's bite isn't infectious, it's just gross. Doppel-D knocks the Zombie's jaw off in turn, and escapes.

Calypso is furious that the Zombie lacks free spirit, but Garth then disobeys and frees the soul of his friend, Papa Doc. After that, he returns to his previous order, "Kill the Redman!" Which isn't very specific, and I'm not sure if that meant the fake or the real Daredevil, so who knows what the Zombie thought; but I don't think it ever came up in DD's book.

The Doppelganger would, though; and I do like his design. This one, and the Spider-Doppelganger, were probably the two best evil copies from Infinity War; and the Spider-Doppelganger got a Toy Biz action figure back in the day. I'll dig him up later, but I wish Doppel-D had got one as well. Although his horns look kid-unfriendly...

Panels from "Resurrections," Glenn Herdling, 'scribe;' Scott McDaniel, 'diabolist;' and Bud LaRosa, 'hoogan.'

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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 8: Kara's too classy for the obvious Wonder Man joke.

I figure Beast Boy, if not most of the Teen Titans, is utterly convinced Cassie has an invisible jet, and is just being a bitch and not letting them ride in it.

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, six and seven.

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"Now it's over, I'm dead, and I haven't done anything that I want..."

"Or I'm still alive, and there's nothing I want to do." A tip of the hat to anyone that recognizes that lyric, and click to enlarge as usual.


This isn't my favorite point in Deadpool's continuity, but it is one I thought I could have some fun with. As usual, I'm going off memory here, but during Frank Tieri's run on the book, Deadpool did a four-issue stint in Weapon X, that ended in his death. The next issue was a silent one (or at least mostly) with Pool's funeral, the only thing left of him being a hand. Then, four different versions of Deadpool show up, each representing different aspects of his personality: square-jawed do-gooder, attention-whore glory-hog, cold-blooded hitman, and a drooling psychotic that only yells "No pickles!"

Frankly, the joke ran a little long, but in the end Deadpool is back, with relatively little explanation on how or why any of that happened. Except for the last page, featuring, from nowhere, Thanos. Now, Thanos had long been established as having a creepy relationship with Death, and not cute Neil Gaiman Death or hot Warlord Death, hooded skull-face Death; although I don't think he was still pursuing Death as a lover then. (Although now that I think about it, I do believe Thanos had a brief cameo at the end of Joe Kelly's run; showing up with flowers and candy but Death's gone to hang with Pool.)

I guess Thanos is currently dead, as of Annihilation; but that would be an interesting wrinkle to him: Thanos may no longer love and worship Death, but to him, killing his enemies is very much sending them to a better place, and Thanos does not want that for his enemies. He referred to Deadpool as "Cursed, to life!" and Pool might agree: dead, he'd be at peace; while alive, the suffering just keeps going and going and going...We'll have a scan from that issue up on Friday, so you can see it's not just all in my head.

OK, the Thanos figure: this one is from the 90's Fantastic Four cartoon line, which had it's moments. I liked the cartoony Thing figure, the Mr. Fantastic was pretty good, and the line made figures of Galactus, Dragon Man, Black Bolt, and more. Thanos got another figure in the Silver Surfer line, and that would've been nice since it's big evil grin Thanos, the Thanos that loves his work. More recently, there was a Marvel Select version, which I'm kicking myself for not buying before. Came with a Death, too.

This may be sacrilege in certain circles, but I like Thanos better than Darkseid. I don't think you can deny that Thanos has been in better stories: Jim Starlin's Warlock alone trumps most of Darkseid's body of appearances. And Thanos was the big bad in the classic Marvel Super Heroes fighting game. And yet, I have two Darkseids, and only one lonely, tiny Thanos. It's a cruel universe. Thanos would want it that way.

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Tell me Hasbro still has the name rights for Omega Supreme, and it's not a vitamin supplement or something now.

Fans of action figure-based 80's cartoons and comics like G.I. Joe and the Transformers may occasionally have been dismayed by discrepancies between how a character was portrayed on TV, versus in the comics. While the big guns like Optimus Prime or Duke were usually consistent, it wasn't uncommon for even a lead character like Snake-Eyes to be radically inconsistent: in the comics, the mute ninja shone; while the cartoon seemed unsure what to do with him. (Of course, the real reason for this is that the cartoon and comic book versions were done by different crews, who may have little idea or not care what the other was doing; but don't look behind the curtain!)

Which brings us to today's character, the Transformer's Omega Supreme. One of the largest Transformers, Omega was the Autobots' last line of defense; a huge robot that transformed into a "laser tank" that rode the track around the rocket base. In rocket mode, Omega was even capable of interplanetary flight, although that would deplete his energy to dangerous, perhaps even fatal, levels. (And to raise the stakes and keep the good guys on the ropes, poor Omega seemed to spend a lot of his time either powerless or blown up.) Massive and powerful, Omega had a booming voice, but didn't seem like a big talker.

Conversely, in the comics, Omega Supreme was Muhammad Ali.


Omega would crush the hell out of the nine Decepticons that attacked that day; although as usual they all escaped. After his failure, Megatron then had to fend off an attempt by Shockwave to take command, citing gross incompetence. Megatron argues his way out of it, pointing out at least he's doing something.

Scans from Marvel's the Transformers #19, "Command Performances!" Written by Bob Budiansky, pencils by Don Perlin, inks by Ian Akins and Brian Garvey.

In other news, in casual conversation today, I could've sworn someone was talking about Helen Keller's blog. Yeah, I was way off on that one...
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Coming up Wednesday: New Deadpool strip!

Not guest-starring Sasquatch, unfortunately. Oddly, Sasquatch guest-stars in Deadpool #1, the first issue of his regular series with Joe Kelly and Ed McGuinness; and they seem to know each other by their real names, even if it's obvious they don't like each other. I'm not sure how they know each other, though; since I didn't think Walter Langkowski (Sasquatch's real name) had anything to do with Weapon X.

Still, the Marvel Legends Sasquatch figure looks pretty good with the smaller-scale Marvel Universe figures. (Technically, Deadpool's from the Wolverine movie line, but splitting hairs.) I don't know if I've used him for anything since this picture with Puck back in the early days of this blog.

Wednesday's strip features a character that has appeared in Deadpool, I think more than once, but I'm not 100% sure Deadpool has ever met him. In fact, I don't think Wade has. Also, this character has never received a Marvel Legends or Marvel Universe action figure! Start guessing now!

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Wait, is that a devourer OF virgins, or a devourer THAT IS a virgin?

Over at Again With The Comics, was a recent post on Marvel's Superstars of Tomorrow, circa 1993, taking the piss out of that year's twenty-six (!) annuals and the crappy new characters introduced in each one. A couple of months ago, we hit the first appearance of one, the Raptor in Avengers West Coast Annual #8, which was probably not the worst of the lot, but still isn't any good. So, let's hit another one! The first (and doubtless only) appearance of...the Devourer! From Daredevil Annual #9, "Devouring Madness" Written by Greg Wright, pencils by John Heebink, inks by Fred Fredericks.

The issue opens as Daredevil is in the middle of thwarting a museum heist; something that I've often wondered, does that ever happen in real life? Comic books make museums seem far more dangerous and intriguing, like hotspots of cat-burglars, psychotic ancient entities, and dead security guards. Oh, and evil collectors willing to do anything to swipe some doohickey for their personal collection, a cliche even a recent episode of Warehouse 13 wasn't above. We don't have an evil collector this time, just wanted to throw that in.

Anyway, the security guards in this one rush to the scene, just in time for Daredevil to bounce his billy club off a burglar's face...into the guard's.

How hard did DD throw that thing? Admittedly, we see Captain America and others do this sort of thing all the time, but not as often do we see friendly fire hits, or actual blood. And attention, Mythbusters: this would be a fun-as-hell test, building ballistic gelatin dummies and rigging a billy-club throwing device, to see if hitting a target in the jaw hard enough to do that kind of damage on the second bounce, wouldn't outright kill the first target. Really, DD's first hit is probably so devastating, it would be more humane to merely get shot in the face, which really puts all those Punisher/Daredevil fights in a different light.

More mumbo-jumbo, legal and otherwise, after the break!

Daredevil offers to pay the medical expenses of the guard, and wants to keep it out of court: man, when a lawyer like Matt Murdock wants to keep it out of court, he knows he's in deep, doesn't he? But, as DD and the other guard take in the captured crooks, the bloodied guard bleeds on an ancient artifact, which puts him in contact with the Lords of Death from Xibalba. As happens...

Entered into a sacrificial blood pact, the guard is "remade" as the Devourer, and tasked to "consume the flesh of humanity," and prepare the world for the Lords' arrival. You know, by setting up hotel reservations, buying tickets to the local shows, eating the other security guard when he comes back...Daredevil doesn't hear the Devourer's transformation, but to be fair, the cops and sirens probably blocked it out.

The next day is a rough one for Matt. He loses a case in which he knows his client is innocent, but since Daredevil's evidence isn't admissible, he's going to have to appeal and fight it out again. Then, Foggy points out the Bugle headline for the dead guard. Matt is surprisingly snippy with Foggy, but also guilt-ridden that someone's dead because Daredevil went home to bed. As DD, he follows up on the story with Ben Urich, who is aimlessly walking the streets like all reporters. Next, DD hits the museum for info; while the Devourer gets a pep talk and history lesson from the Lords, and eats a couple people.

Daredevil's hypersenses pick up the Devourer's musk...man, I really would not want DD's powers. Like, at all. They meet in the park for fighty time, and DD gets all EXTREME on him:

Man, I would love for DD to run over Bullseye's skull like that. That would be equivalent to pantsing him on the Times Square Jumbotron.

After a brief fight, the Devourer returns to human form to escape, just like about a billion movies. Even with a concert going on, and a ton of people, it doesn't quite work, since Daredevil's still able to pick up the scent, chasing the Devourer into the sewers. There, the busy little monster has set up a really good-sized altar and a bunch of flaming braziers. It's very old school D&D, Lair of the Cannon-Fodder Monster.

Following still more fighty time, DD's on the ropes, so he stabs the Devourer with the statue that he rather unwisely wore around his neck. "Only one thing can defeat me! Oh, no, how did you find it?" Yeah, not smart. The monster bursts into flames, and DD puts him out in the sewer water. Blah. The Devourer reverts back to the guard, whose nose appears fixed, so, um, all's well that ends well, right? Except for the four or five people that got eaten, I guess. And the lingering trauma of being controlled by an ancient entity, blood on your hands, etc.

On the last page of the story, Matt wins his appeal, which seems like a non sequitur. The legal scenes take up a whopping two pages, and seemed like they were shoehorned in because, well, Daredevil's a lawyer and yeah. Later, we may take a look at another story from this issue, that's promised by the cover but not so much delivered on...


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Nightcrawler takes his LARP'ing seriously.

From X-Men 1/2, "Thrall" Written by Todd DeZago, pencils by Mike Wieringo, inks by Brad Vancata. This was a fun little one-shot, that you had to get from Wizard, but fortunately, they aren't a rare collector's item or anything. I got a spare out of the quarter-boxes a while back, and flipped through it again. It's a fun little yarn, mostly just an excuse to get Mike Wieringo to draw the X-Men in a fantasy setting. And why not?

Let's see, in the above shot, I can find a Conan type, I believe that's Cloud Strife from the Final Fantasy series, and there may be others. Holler if you see someone else, and have a good weekend!

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Possibly my favorite page from Milestone Comics:

And it's from a fill-in even! From Static #12, "Getting Out" Written by Kurt Busiek, pencils by Neil Vokes, inks by Prentis Rollins and Bobby Rae. Back in the day, Milestone was dedicated to on-time books; so they may have been one of the last to use fill-in books to save deadlines. Still, that's not a slight on this issue, since it's nonetheless a lot of fun.

There has been a bit of chatter lately about how DC has, um, bungled? Hamstrung? Dropped the ball? Pick your own euphemism for how DC failed on the Milestone relaunch. Oh, but I think Static's still on the Teen Titans, and Xombi got to appear in that team-up book...that I can't even bring myself to care enough to look up.

But DC did halfass the relaunch on both ends, creatively and marketing-wise: instead of maybe folding Milestone into DC continuity during Final Crisis--which would've been pretty damn easy to do, even if you did it in a spin-off miniseries--apparently the in-story explanation is that Milestone's Dakota City has always been there, you just never noticed before. (Or maybe it's been there since the Superman/Milestone crossover where they were specifically separate universes.)

That, and it seems like cheap, Showcase style reprints of Milestone books would be a slam dunk: they are books from the nineties, and a lot of references and fashion are going to seem dated, so don't try and over-format them. Get them into people's hands, get them reading them, and they'll be more forgiving and more apt to want more if you start them out on the lower price point.

Look, I'm just upset because Milestone could've been a good addition to the DC Universe, not just an afterthought. As it stands now, figure Major Bummer and the Heckler will get another try first...OK, bad example, that would be great.
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 7: Wait, Comet pre- or post-Crisis?

Based on nothing, I would have to say Streaky is probably more destructive than Krypto.

I haven't read every old Supergirl story, so there probably is an old story like "Supergirl's Amazing Kitchen of Solitude!" or some such. And I do think Comet returned in some form in Peter David's Supergirl, but that book was probably still better than any other female-lead book DC's had in, well, ever.

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, and six.
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In stores today: Planetary #27

All apologies to Warren Ellis and John Cassaday, but the looooong-awaited final issue of Planetary hits today! That's worth a trip to the comic shop alone!

Jakita Wagner, the girl in the leather, does on occasion get to throw down within the pages of the comic; including a memorable bout with different versions of Batman. But her figure...not having it right next to me as I type this, I think she had three points of articulation. Five, tops. (Neck, both shoulders, maybe the wrists but maybe not. EDIT: Yeah, it's three.) These figures are from 2001, and DC Direct didn't make her for asskicking, they made her to stand there and look cool.

The Drummer gets more joints (as it were...) than his fellows, and that color scheme might be comic-accurate, but it's, well, horrifying. It does help him stand out on a shelf full of other figures, though. His sticks are non-removable as well. Re-reading the series for this, it felt like Drums makes one snide comment to Snow on his arrival; then Snow verbally pummels Drums for the rest of the series. And I'm being polite: "Living fart" is almost a term of endearment, in comparison to a lot of the things Elijah calls him.

I had to take the Elijah Snow action figure, and look at a Planetary cover, to confirm his buttons were that big. They reminded me of Mr. Do, for a moment. Elijah's figure doesn't get a helluva lot of articulation either (ball jointed necks would've really added to these) and in a nod to his powers; usually on my toy shelf, Elijah's holding an ice cream cone.

Some comic shops may still have the figures: take a look when you get Planetary #27! Now! Scoot! And now that I've made a big deal about this, I probably won't get to the comic shop until at least Friday...
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With a name like "Morituri," it's got to be...well, a bit of a downer, yes.

Even though I may still have this particular comic, I bought another Strikeforce: Morituri #1 out of the quarter box a while back, along with a few other issues from that series. I've lost some since then, but I read the first year or so back in 1986, then fell off the book as both the distribution seemed to get sketchy (at newsstands, anyway) and the first wave of characters died off.

More after the break!

It's a pretty good high concept, and unsurprisingly, one that has pulled some interest for a TV version: Earth is under attack by the alien Horde, who are picking the planet apart to steal its resources, and because they're dicks. (Samples of their dickery: ejecting human captives from orbit, so they can be seen burning up on re-entry; decapitating children, and stealing archive copies of classic films like E.T. and Raiders of the Lost Ark) It's a losing battle until a scientist comes up with the Morituri Process; which overlays a second metabolism on the subject, giving them super-powers. Oh, and (mumble) it kills the subject inside of a year, tops.

While I haven't read the whole series, creators Peter B. Gillis and Brent Anderson play it very straight: there are no reprieves for the Morituri heroes. I don't think any of them got noble sacrifice deaths, either; most of them burn out at inopportune moments. Some die off-duty while waiting for battle, one dies right after her first fight, and I know one dies on his way to the big one.

The first issue is not only a good set-up for the rest of the series, but also reads pretty well as a done-in-one. I also loved that the framing device for the tale of the Black Watch (the first wave of Morituri soldiers) is a comic! To differentiate it from the 'real-world,' the art for the comic section was from Whilce Poratcio--spelled 'Wilce' here--who would later go on to Punisher and Wetworks, and must've been like twelve when this came out.

Strikeforce: Morituri could well be turned into a TV series, but the rights are apparently in dispute now, presumably so Gillis and Anderson can get their rightful cut. Which may also be just as well: while it could be the next Battlestar: Galactica if done right, it could also have been the next Night Man if they'd tried it in the 90's. It would be interesting to see how strict they play with the concept, and if a hit actor or actress would "miraculously" survive longer than their year...or if a problem or unpopular one would spontaneously combust sooner.

Also: I wonder how well this series did when it came out? It lasted a good three years or so, not bad for a non-licensed, unconventional super-hero property. The month Strikeforce: Morituri #1 came out also featured The 'Nam #1, the third month of the New Universe, two digest-size books (for Marvel's Star line and G.I. Joe) and Frank Miller and Bill Sienkiewicz's Daredevil graphic novel and Elektra: Assassin #3! I have to wonder how all of those sold, in comparison to the books of today.

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Getting my money's worth for that Ronin figure:

Shoot, thought I had scheduled an actual post for today. Be back tomorrow!

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Do I have a tag for the Thing's poker games yet? I should.

It's another of the Thing's classic poker games, but with a couple of new wrinkles: Ben gets thrown into another dimension where the Fantastic Four formed in...1961! Instead of ten years ago or so in Marvel time. The FF's history unfolded in real time, so by 1998 Reed and Sue are semi-retired and on an archeological dig on Mars, Johnny married Crystal and had a couple of kids, and even Franklin's old enough to be married himself!

The seemingly ageless Thing pieces together what happened, but still makes his Wednesday night game; this time with the likewise still-youngish Thor, Wolverine, and Dr. Strange. Strange does have the bad news that Bruce Banner has just died, a heart attack while turning into the Hulk at age 70. After discovering that Ben isn't their Ben, a curious Wolverine grills him for info on his world's Spider-Man, since there, as Thor puts it: "He is forever young!"

From Fantastic Four Annual 1998, "In the Best of Families" Written by Karl Kesel, pencils by Stuart Immonen, inks by Cam Smith. A great single issue, that you could probably still pick up for a song. Kesel did more than a couple fill-ins and specials like this for the FF, but never seemed to get the full-time writer spot. And he should've.

That's it for this week: I stubbed my left middle finger on something, and it would quit bothering me if I lay off here...


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Sadly, the Abomination has had double-digit losses since this one:

Even though Peter David did some compelling issues with the tragic side of the Abomination, I rather prefer the dickish aspect of the character: a mean-spirited bully, stronger and smarter and more heartless than his rival the Hulk. Well, that version's not showing up today, either. This was a recurring theme across the Marvel Universe in the mid-eighties or so: villains who had been taking biannual clubbings for twenty-plus years of continuity, suddenly becoming afraid of the heroes and of taking yet another ass-whupping. (It happened to Doctor Octopus, and I want to say there were others, since two doesn't seem like a "recurring theme.")

(I also think Abomination is currently dead in the Marvel Universe, for what that's worth, and while I'm not a big Jeph Loeb fan, it may be easier to kill him off and bring on "A-Bomb" rather than sort him out. Is he a cold war spy? A man mourning his wife? A heartless sociopath? A beaten shell of a monster? What?)


In Incredible Hulk #288, General Ross commits treason by making a deal with MODOK (a somewhat taller look for him than usual) to give him the frozen Abomination. Ross doesn't believe the then-Banner-controlled Hulk won't become a menace again, and can't stand that his daughter Betty still loves Bruce. MODOK wants the Abomination to use against Advanced Idea Mechanics, which had overthrown MODOK's leadership. Unfortunately for both, the Abomination is having a bit of a hissy-fit, and is terrified of facing the Hulk again. (Giving this issue it's questionable title, "Anyone out there know how to cure a case of...Yellow Fever?!")

Meanwhile, the Hulk goes to the dentist.


Ah, but the dentist, and Dr. Banner's new assistant Dr. Kate Waynesboro, are both agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. keeping tabs on him; a fact not unnoticed by Bruce's new Recordasphere. The Recordasphere is already developing feelings for Bruce and an intense jealousy of Kate, so it sabotages their brakes, and Kate is injured in the crash...

OK, two things about the Recordasphere: I wonder if Peter David was thinking of that thing, when something similar shows up in Hulk: The End. And two, it's comic book science that Dr. Banner, who specializes in the field of blowing crap up with radiation, would be able to build a sophisticated artificial intelligence capable of flight, recording multiple streams of information, sabotage, etc. I guess Bruce figured if Dr. Pym can do both biochemistry and evil robots, so could he.

After being rescued, Kate kisses the Hulk; but the rest of the issue is devoted to MODOK torturing the Abomination, to get him back into fighting shape. Abomination even cries a bit, and I think I've seen him melted into goo more often than I've seen him cry. The next issue banner proclaims, "Next Month: Phase One!" so I don't know if MODOK had to break Abommy down and rebuild him a couple more times...

Panels from the Incredible Hulk #288, written by Bill Mantlo, layouts by Sal Buscema, finishes by Jim Mooney. Read more!

Supergirl/Wonder Girl 6: Kara can't remember the LSH, but Conner has to remember the Ravers, so...

Now, as is often the case, I'm basing this off memory, and don't have the issues in question right handy; but in the old, pre-Crisis, pre-reboots, Adventure Comics era of the Legion of Super-Heroes, Superboy went to the 30th century on a pretty routine basis. Supergirl later joined the Legion as well, but she was coming to the future, from a period several years after Superboy's visits--Kara didn't become Supergirl until well after Kal-El became Superman.

For example, let's say Superboy was leaving his home time of 1959 to hang out with the Legion in the year 2959. Supergirl could be there in 2959 as well, but she would've come from her home time of 2969 or so. I'm not sure about Supergirl, but Superboy and the Legionnaires were also aging at roughly the same rate: as he became Superman, the Legion became adults as well, and usually that's how they would meet. Rarely, if ever, would the adult Legion run into Superboy, or Superman see the teenage version of the team.

And people wonder why DC needed a Crisis, multiple reboots, etc. More tangents after the break!

Getting to the point: Supergirl had a post-hypnotic suggestion placed on her, not sure by whom exactly, so that when she returned to her time, she wouldn't remember any details of the future that she shouldn't. Like her death, for example. Actually, her death almost makes the suggestion make sense retroactively. But it is a little dicked up that just about everybody else gets to go back and forth in time and not have their memories wiped.

The exception, that's in the same boat as Kara: Hal Jordan, of all people. Early in his career as Green Lantern, the 57th or 58th century (58th, sorry!) abducted Hal a few times, brainwashed him into the identity of Pol Manning, and used him whenever they needed their superhero, putting him back none the wiser on more than one occasion. (I'm not sure how that worked: Hal started to notice he was having memory lapses, blackouts, and investigated and figured out what had been happening to him. But, if they're yanking him through time, shouldn't they just put him back right when they got him? Hal might wonder why he's tired and covered in bruises, but it's Hal, they could've kept that up for years more.)

Eventually, the 58th century Solar Council stopped using Hal, and accidentally got Salaak once, to fight the anthropomorphic squirrel descendants of C'hp...and this is why I won't stand for anyone badmouthing Zero Hour, since that event apparently took out the whole mess. (Hmm. This also means Salaak, of all people, like Peter in Heroes, has a girlfriend that he left in a future that has now been seemingly erased. Like Peter, Salaak isn't about to open that can of worms...)

Again, based off memory, Kara had the post-hypnotic suggestion, but I don't think Clark did. Also, I believe Kara was trusted not to spill the beans about what she knew of Clark's future: "Well, you grow up and become Superman, and Lex Luthor's still a jerk, and that Lana chick is still following you around..."

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, and five.
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