Monday, June 26, 2006




Thor Annual #9 was written by Chris Claremont, with art by Luke McDonnell. Now, I'm not saying Claremont is verbose (I got what, four posts out of one Moon Knight issue, so my stone throwing days may be over) but it took three letterers to do this issue...Again, I feel like I'm being harsh on Claremont, and I want to say I usually enjoy his work. It's just that he has a very set dialog and narration style, as well as certain themes that he comes back to over, and over, and over some more. (Slavery, mental control/domination, good characters turning evil, there's more and you know it.)

Oddly, I don't think I noticed, until I saw some of his non-X-Men work. Claremont used to do a fair number of the Marvel Annuals. Avengers Annual#10 is probably the best known, as it guests the X-Men and has Rouge and blah, blah, blah. But he also wrote the first Star Wars annual, and an issue of Savage Sword of Conan (issue #74, hit your local comic shop now! Or don't.) I really liked the Star Wars one as a kid, but reading it now, after I've read his other work, and it's like the framework of his style is painfully visible. A story by Claremont reads as a Claremont story, regardless of whether it has Thor, Luke Skywalker, or Wolverine. Sometimes, it totally works, sometimes it's completely obtrusive. But enough snark! On to this issue!

This was way back in the day, when Thor still had the secret identity of Dr. Donald Blake. Perhaps because there was the space for it in a "King-Sized Annual!" but the issue starts with the good doctor actually performing medicine! I've read a good chunk of Thor, and I think I've seen him use those skills more in Avengers than in his own book. Nineteen panels between the second and third pages, which I like. Afterwards, Dr. Blake turns down another doctor because he has plans to go skiing that weekend, leaving her to wonder how a lame man could go skiing in the middle of summer. Y'know, after they wrote off Jane Foster from his book, Thor got really halfassed about his secret identity. And since I just watched an episode of House, I'm glad Dr. Blake was phased out, because Marvel would totally turn him into House. No question.

But, when Thor says skiing, he means "racing bigass pseudo-Viking longboats through the ice floes of the Sea of Marmora, and fighting sea serpents, if need be." After the serpents unwisely attack the boat with Balder, Hogun, Sif, Fandral and Volstagg; Thor goes to help the other ships in the race. He's lured to help an illusion of Sif, and a falling mast knocks Thor out, and into the water. Thor's invulnerability is weird. Like Wonder Woman, Thor usually blocks bullets or lasers shot at him. (Thor with his hammer, of course.) He usually seems able to breathe in space, or at least not particularly bothered by it. Yet, for this story, the unconscious Thor would have drowned if not rescued by the real Sif.

In the same vein as Thor's on-off invulnerability, Sif has to fight hard through the ice-water, struggling for breath and weighed down by her armor...but if I recall my Marvel Handbooks, Sif can bench press at least 15 tons. Maybe more. She should've been strong enough to throw Thor from the bottom to the surface. We'll file that under "dramatic license" and leave it be.

Thor's crew takes him to the physician, and they and the other, lesser gods set sail for Asgard. The narration points out that there were many lost to the serpents, which is why the Norse no longer have deities for Interior Decorating, Investigative Telejournalism, and apparently Blogging. Plus, a Viking Physician, even a Viking God Physician, doesn't sound like a great deal. Nine times out of ten, he prescribes hallucinogenic mushrooms. The tenth time, grog.


You know, to wax nostalgic for a moment: I honestly think I miss the days when a hero could deliver a lengthy monologue, and a mighty punch, in the same panel. This panel's a little thick, to the extent it takes away from the action; but I almost prefer it to panel after panel of dialog with nothing happening. The "monologue punch," if you will, used to be more prevalent back when it was believed every comic could be someone's first comic, so you had to recap for the new kids. And recap. And recap. Read a few Marvel Essential volumes, and you'll see it. And see it. And see it. I suppose the problem there is, if you came up with a great expression for the character's powers like "Focused Totality" you are by god going to use it. And it's easier to reuse then come up with a new one every month.

Holy crap, and I was pitching Claremont crap for wordiness...hell, we'll pick it up from Asgard tomorrow. Guess the villain now, if you can, and no peeking for the cover!

By the way: Thor, next time you're going ice-longboat racing, you might wanna leave Volstagg at home. Although, winning with him on board would dramatically improve your bragging rights.

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