Monday, April 05, 2021

Put this issue on your fridge, to remind you not to snack...or use gamma rays.

I thought this was kind of a mean-spirited issue, and the continuity may be a bit iffy, but let's take a gander: from 1985, Incredible Hulk Annual #14, "The Weakness of the Flesh!" Written by John Byrne, art by Sal Buscema.
The Hulk is on his way home--wherever that may be? It's the purple-trunked version, but could still talk in the traditional "Hulk not understand" manner, so he wasn't mindless rage yet? And as he is accosted on the next page, one of his attackers notes it's been months since he was even seen on earth. A very large flying vehicle (bigger than a 747, smaller than the helicarrier?) grabs the Hulk, brings him aboard, and tries to gas him. Here Hulk "knows how (gas) works," having been gassed about 400 times; so he hops above it and tries to punch his way through the roof. He is observed by a woman, and two men; wearing not-S.H.I.E.L.D. jumpsuits; and one of the men is massively obese. Blob level. Grabbing a jetpack, the other man, Professor Kortz, goes in with the Hulk, figuring correctly Hulk would take a swipe at him then fall in the gas.
While the woman, Dr. Kelloway, wants more tests, Kortz thinks they are ready to proceed; and the obese St. Johns wants the procedure. He tells the gassed Hulk that "your prison may be the key to mine!" Kortz takes a sample from the Hulk with a specially-made device, causing the unconscious Hulk to yelp in pain or surprise; which Kelloway feels bad about. She still thinks the risk factor is too high; but St. Johns berates her as a coward, afraid "to seize the unknown by the throat." Kelloway later visits the Hulk, who is awake enough to be alone and afraid. Kortz notices her leaving, and also comes down on her: they apparently had a history, the promising young student, and the older academic who fell for him. The power dynamic has changed, though; and later Kelloway mentions taking the fall for Kortz's mistakes, trying to protect him. Both St. Johns and Kortz sneeringly point out her failings, and that she had lost perhaps several patients, in back-alley abortions! That feels out of nowhere, and out of place.
Meanwhile, Hulk frees himself, and wandering the aircraft finds their earlier experiments, a plethora of mindless gamma monsters. One, with a massive upper body and barely stubs for legs, manages to give Hulk a moment's trouble, nearly choking him out. The monsters are nowhere near as durable as Hulk, though; and dissolve fairly quickly. St. Johns slaps down Kelloway, promising to kill her after his procedure, and gets his gamma treatment. As the Hulk and Kelloway arrive, St. Johns has gone from being massively obese to being massively obese and green, and he kills Kortz. Furious, Kelloway screams that Kortz didn't fail:
Internally hemorrhaging, St. Johns does manage to keep a promise, by falling on Kelloway. As the gamma fat starts to dissolve, the Hulk realizes he's alone again, but is maybe okay with it right now. 

St. Johns mentions this project having cost "billions of dollars and hundreds of lives," and I feel like there had to be cheaper ways to slim down? Even if his problem was glandular or whatever and Nutrisystem wasn't cutting it. But I can absolutely see some rich asshole getting it into their head that gamma was the way to go, and not letting up on that easily. Or accepting that he, the guy with the money, could be wrong...

1 comment:

Mr. Morbid's House Of Fun said...

Jesus, who (or hadn't at that point) pissed off Byrne the day he decided to write that? Wow...
Well if nothing else this seems like the Trumplican party/previous regime all over isn't it, with Kelloway looking A LOT like Dr. Brix.