So I mentioned this one on BlueSky the other day, and knew I had bought it recently but didn't have it handy. And, um, it was directly behind me. (Another fun bit of nonsense: I recently got rid of my old bed, which had a massive headboard. I miss having it to hang stuff on, but it was in my way for years otherwise; and it being gone has just destroyed my sense of object permanence. I keep expecting to bump into it...) From 1989, Secret Origins #40, featuring "Gorillas in Our Midst" Written by Cary Bates and Greg Weisman, pencils by Carmine Infantino, inks by Mike DeCarlo; "The Legend of Congorilla" Written by Tom Joyner, pencils by Fred Butler, inks by Kez Wilson; and "If U Cn Rd Ths" Written by Rusty Wells, "plot and tardiness" by Andy Helfer, art by Mark Badger. Cover by Bill Wray.

This series ran to issue #50: I always think this was closer to the end, but that was probably the Ambush Bug issue. On the letters page, editor Mark Waid explains the rationale for this all-ape issue: back in the 50's and 60's, the prevailing wisdom was that gorillas sold comics, and he estimates DC had about 200 gorilla/monkey/ape covers. Even though that was some time ago, it's still a beloved bit of DC lore and still returns here and there for stuff like JLApe. Carmine Infantino did a bunch of those gorilla covers himself, and returns here for the secret origin of Gorilla City, and its two most famous inhabitants, Solovar and Grodd. Then, it's Congo Bill and Congorilla, told completely straight, like a "jungle noir."

"If U Cn Rd Ths" is doubtless the high point, though: the secret origin of Detective Chimp. This one's a departure from his 50's origin, as tiny alien scientists increase Bobo's intelligence; but Waid suggests if you use your imagination it still fits. (Detective Chimp can talk now, can't he? He couldn't for a long time.) Waid also laments he would never get to do another issue like this again...unless he "can dredge up three more gorillas to put in this book next year." Titano, Angel and the Ape, and the Gorilla Crime Boss of Gotham! Boom, done, get on it. Read more!

Is Christmas this week? Well, you're getting Son of Satan.

For little apparent reason, I was watching grotty old possession/Satanism movies on Tubi last week: they were by-and-large not very good, but also seemed very matter-of-fact that Satan was going to get you and God would do just about nothing. I swear half of them ended with "Satan didn't get my soul, I'm free" then immediate death; and that's a happy ending? I'm legit surprised this sort of movie hasn't made a big comeback: I think people were disillusioned and unhappy for large chunks of the 70's, although compared to now, well...From 1976, Son of Satan #4, "Cloud of Witness!" Written by John Warner, layouts by (P.) Craig Russell, finishes by Sonny Trinidad.

Daimon Hellstrom had departed Arizona, after a battle with the Possessor that I've seen mentioned but don't think I've read yet. (I'm pretty sure I coughed up for Essential Marvel Horror #1 a bit ago; I need to sit down and read it!) Daimon was maybe trying to see what direction his life was going to take now, and Georgetown had called him in: a university upper-admin type wants him for the school's new para-psychology program, and wants posh librarian Amelia to work as his researcher, and maybe keep an eye on him. (The admin worries about bringing in someone so "unorthodox," as he views a picture of Daimon in full Son of Satan mode.) Hellstrom himself is greeted by the charming (and pale) Saripha Thames, and set up in a dorm room to rest.

Either through jet lag, his ongoing search for identity, or psychic attack; Daimon has a series of unsettling dreams, one of which involves his mother, who had wanted to be a nun at one point. She wasn't picked at the time, and ended up falling into the arms of Satan. (Or "Satan," as it were; Daimon's dad maybe was never the actual, capital-S Satan; but "Son of Marduk Kurios" would make for a terrible logo.) He's also visited by the mysterious Proffet, who shows him a bunch of symbols and portents and says he can change them. This is followed by a funeral for Saripha, and Daimon seemingly split into the Son of Satan, the Darksoul, and a cross-wielding Daimon. He awakens, to find himself in his Son costume, cape and trident out, as Proffet again appears: she didn't really know what the message meant either, that was for him to figure out.

Saripha, approaching the dorms, witnesses an explosion from Daimon's room, and rushes there to find him in his...she's not really sure what his outfit is, pajamas? But, there had been one other visitor on that floor, and they rush to check on them, and find...I'm not sure; I can't tell if they were supposed to be alive or dead, in bed or upside-down on the wall. Maybe it'll make sense next issue; I wouldn't bet on it. Read more!

Hey, Scrooge is worthy to wield Jarnbjorn!

Uncle Scrooge is having a bit of a resurgence on the comic shelves, with new issues from Marvel and modern reprints from Fantagraphics. But like Scrooge, I enjoy getting issues on the cheap, like this one! From 1992, Uncle Scrooge #272, "Canute the Brute's Battle Axe" Plot by Jørgen Fogedby and Lars Bergström, original script by Tom Anderson, US script by Gary Gabner, art by Vicar.

Centuries ago, Scrooge's ancestor Fayodor led the battle to drive the titular Canute and his Vikings from Scotland, taking Canute's axe in the fight. In the present, Scrooge enjoys chairmanship of Duckburg's Old Tartan Club; but is routinely challenged by Chisel McSue. This year, McSue claims his family had the axe, and had for centuries: Scrooge tries to prove him wrong, but finds he didn't have the axe himself. Instead, his nephews find an old diary: in 1314, to prevent the English from looting their treasures, Scrooge's multiple-great-granduncle had buried them: they were all later recovered, except the axe. Figuring it would still be in the bog, Scrooge, Donald, and the boys race to Scotland to try and find it; with McSue sabotaging them repeatedly. (The explanation being, that McSue wanted to gain the chair of the club and loot the treasury.)

Here's one you won't believe: despite having read Uncle Scrooge here and there from when I first learned how to read; I'm not sure I've ever watched any version of Duck Tales! I'm sure I'd love them, I just haven't taken the time; and it was probably aired opposite Batman or something back in the day and I missed it. And we mentioned the mystic axe Gnip Gnop--er, Jarnbjorn like ten years back. Read more!

If I scheduled these right, earlier in the week we mentioned an old issue of Batman Adventures, so now seems like the time to see another one! From 2003, Batman Adventures #3, "My Boyfriend's Back" Written by Ty Templeton, pencils by Rick Burchett, inks by Terry Beatty; and "Breathing Room" Written by Dan Slott, pencils by Ty Templeton, inks by Terry Beatty.

The Joker is not himself today, and driving multiple motorcycles into a vat of tapioca isn't even why: after extensive bouts of multiple therapies at Arkham, he wasn't really sane, but he also wasn't his usual homicidal self, either. He was more lovey-dovey as well, which Harley does not seem to appreciate, which might also be because he wasn't even as funny: the motorcycles were part of a "Harley Pudding," which doesn't even get a pity chuckle out of her. Especially when she finds out the Joker didn't even steal the bikes; he traded the helicopter for them! Which puts Batman on the case, as he roughs up the seller that put it on "eBuy." Harley can't bring herself to try and kill the Joker herself, but figures if someone else did, maybe he'd snap out of it; so she busts one of R'as al Ghul's "shadow assassins" from stir, to let him take a shot at it. Meanwhile, Gordon and Montoya were on their trail: Batman was currently wanted, and Montoya wonders if Gordon would be ready to arrest him. Gordon says sure, if he sees him.

As usual, Batman arrives in time to save the Joker; taking the assassin down with a taser rather than play with him. Harley then makes another play, kissing Batman to make the Joker jealous, which works like a charm. With his taser broken, Batman is slapped around, landing near the Joker's crossbow: he takes the shot, but seemingly misses...cracking the tapioca case, and washing Joker and Harley with a wave of pudding! Swamped, Harley is thrilled to have her Joker back, even if now he was far more interested in killing Batman than her. They're both grabbed by the cops, while Gordon claims not to see Batman leaving, taking the assassin with him: I think he was an issue or two away from another showdown with R'as.

In the next story, with Arkham currently "structurally unstable," both Joker and Harley are taken to Gotham Penitentiary, despite her claim of "special needs." In the yard, Harley sees her pal Ivy, and tries to recall if she was still mad at her, for not mentioning she was turning into a plant-monster: she's not, but Ivy attacks her as a "stinking bag of meat!" Poisonous, Ivy is thrown into solitary in an isolation ward, but then she starts to crash out. Harley fights past the guards in biohazard suits to free Ivy, which saves her: now more plant-like, Ivy was breathing in carbon dioxide, and producing oxygen. She and Harley are made roommates, to Ivy's chagrin and Harley's delight.

I feel like Harley never knows when she's better off... Read more!

"Fire."

We'll doubtless discuss Daimon Hellstrom more in depth next time, but his figure...Look, I know it doubtless was unfeasible for so many reasons, but the Son of Satan really needs the chariot and horses he had his first issue. Three horses, even! I don't know if there's any explanation why we don't see that anymore, or if artists just didn't want to draw it now. I also don't recall if Daimon had to park, or I guess stable the horses, or if he could just summon it from nowhere like Johnny Blaze used to make a hellfire cycle. Ah, but if his chariot was made, Hercules had something similiar, or at least borrowed: Apollo lent him his, in the first Bob Layton mini-series! Well, it's not like I have the room anyway, but I've been having a hard time getting a single, properly scaled horse. I haven't looked super hard, but so far they're either too big or too small. Read more!

I once again implore DC: reprint this, now. I don't have a rap about it, but...

So I've been getting the longbox-hunt experience at home, going through the oh-so-many boxes of largely random comics in my living room and creating several stacks of books I wanted to read or re-read. Several stacks. The overall effect is like having 110 tabs open, except in real life...Anyway, we get to the conclusion of a storyline we first mentioned back in 2016, because everything has improved oh-ever-so-much since that one. (Sarcasm...burning throat...) From 1992, the Demon #29, "Political Asylum, part 4: Out of Control" Written by Dwayne McDuffie, pencils by Val Semeiks, inks by Bob Smith and John Dell.

On the campaign trail, Etrigan isn't President of the United States yet, but he can taste it. So, we start here with five pages of the Demon's ultimate goal: first, lead the Armed Forces to conquer Hell. Then, take the combined earth-Hell armies to conquer Heaven! Probably going to have to use a few nukes there, but omelets and eggs, right? Glenda interrupts Etrigan's daydream: he was over time, and had to turn back to Jason Blood. Meanwhile, Clark Kent discusses the intolerable situation with Lois: Etrigan had snowed the press into believing he and Superman were "close personal friends," and that Supes might even be his running mate. Superman has to have his own press conference, to deny all of that: he's probably also a bit concerned that while Etrigan appeals to the lowest common denominators, few seemed to realize that he absolutely did not have anyone else's wellbeing in mind. ("Evil isn't usually this obvious, guys, but you're still missing it...somehow.")

Etrigan's speechwriter Patty had been having doubts already, as Etrigan turns off Superman's speech as "too late." Meeting with his backers, some different options are discussed, and their scathing dismissal of working with the Democrat party still rings true: "If you asked the Democrats to organize a firing squad, they'd form a circle." Instead, Bush had offered to drop Dan Quayle, and take Etrigan as his new candidate for Vice President. Etrigan agrees...and if something, gasp, should happen to George, well...Jason's friends, Glenda, Harry, and Randu decide, maybe this had gone far enough, and consider forcing Etrigan back to Jason Blood and keeping him that way until after the convention. Etrigan was ready for that, though, and gags the lot of them before they can. (The trio might have broke the rules there, attempting to cheat him before he cheated them; but there was already the sense that Etrigan appreciated that kind of treachery. Also, he would've wanted to rub his win in their noses, so he doesn't really hurt them. Yet.)

The Republican convention turns ugly, though: as Bush and Etrigan supporters turn on each other, McDuffie gets another great bit: "The police, momentarily confused by the lack of minority group conventioneers to blame the situation on, quickly decided to beat on everybody." Backstage, Patty asks Etrigan what his goals really were; which Etrigan thought he had been upfront about: destroy creation, take over as God. Pretty simple, Patty; get onboard or get out of the way. Instead, Patty uses a note, with the spell to change Etrigan back; then makes a speech in Etrigan's stead declining the nomination and giving any delegates back to Bush. (Quayle, looking dim and confused and maybe hurt, is put back on the ticket.)

Jason suggests Patty might want to lie low, since Etrigan would get out again sooner or later. And he does, quickly finding Patty regardless, but seemingly enjoying her backstabbing and laughing it off. Etrigan also has a laugh with Superman: he would be back in '96! (He wouldn't really.) 

I don't have the other two issues in this storyline, so I'm not sure what Etrigan's backers--one of whom looks like the Monopoly guy about to go into hospice care--thought they would be getting out of the deal. Less regulation? Patty at least gets the satisfaction of stifling the backers, but the notion of someone, eventually, being moved by their principles to make a stand against a seemingly inevitable force of orange evil, well, that seems like the least realistic thing in the entire comic.  Oh, and in the title I was referring to the Etrigan/Phantom Stranger rap in All-Star Section Eight, where the duo tell DC to reprint the Ennis/McCrea Demon run; but this storyline is reprinted in DC Universe by Dwayne McDuffie.

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Some time back (ten years!) we looked at Batman Adventures #5, which featured a version of Julie Madison, one of Batman's first love interests. In that, she first appeared in 1939's Detective Comics #31: she was Bruce's fiancée, but never knew he was Batman, even though she worried Bruce was a vapid playboy and may have been more interested in Batman. She's made a few appearances here and there, but Matt Wagner's Batman & the Monster Men might be the only story to do much with her. A much more popular love interest for Bats--besides Catwoman or Talia, or Wonder Woman if you're a Justice League Unlimited guy...which I am...Anyway, Silver St. Cloud! She's a much more realized character than Julie, and has a great character arc in creator Steve Englehart's "Strange Apparitions" run in Detective. (Co-created by Walt Simonson, although Marshall Rogers drew most of her stories.) Unfortunately, later attempts to do anything with Silver have largely failed, which might be because she knows Bruce is Batman and maybe doesn't want to live with that nonsense. Kevin Smith's Batman: the Widening Gyre maybe tries to reverse that, but that series...yeesh. There's a really not good scene where she gushes about how great Bruce is in bed; then she gets killed or at least gravely injured in an unresolved cliffhanger. Today's book (finally!) doesn't tie into that, but does start with Silver's death! From 2017, Batman/Elmer Fudd #1, "Pway for Me" Written by Tom King, art by Lee Weeks; and I got the Bob Fingerman cover.

This was of course one of the DC/Looney Tunes crossover books: we saw Joker/Daffy Duck previously. In this one, King makes an interesting decision: go hard noir...but with Elmer Fudd, who also narrates. Or would that be "narwates"? Like the Daffy/Joker one, a lot of speech-impediment bits, and not just for Elmer; as we see versions of several other Looney Tunes characters, as Gotham City lowlifes. Shotgun by his side, Elmer goes hunting, at Porky's bar, for a wascawwy wabbit: Bugs, who here is a bucktoothed, weaselly type. Who tries to weasel out of getting killed, for killing the love of Elmer's life...Siwlver St. Cwoud? Bugs admits, he might've done it, but he was paid to--by Bruce Wayne! Fuhweeous--OK, I'm not going to keep doing that--furious, now Elmer was hunting playboys; and dressed as a chaffeur he bluffs his way into Wayne Mansion, to shotgun Bruce Wayne.

Luckily, Bruce can apparently take a shotgun blast at least as well as Daffy, and Batman hunts the hunter down, as Elmer returns home and puts his traditional hunting outfit back on. Elmer puts up a solid fight, since he was mad as hell, and felt Bruce deserved to die for what he did to Silver. It takes Batman a second to parse her name though Elmer's voice, but he also is enraged at the thought of Silver's death. Team-up time! Bats tells Elmer that Bruce wasn't dead, but that he also wouldn't have tried to get Silver killed; and together they return to Porky's for answers, which does involve cracking some skulls. (Elmer describes the bar as "a hawd place for hawd men," which could mean something else...) After the brawl, the pair confront Bugs...and the rest after the break!

Spoiler alert: Silver wasn't dead! She had asked Bugs to fake her death: previously she had left Bruce Wayne when she learned he was "...dangerous" and left Elmer for the same reason. She didn't want either to follow her, so she had Bugs set them on each other. In the noirest of noir tradition, Silver walks out on them all: "Now I leave. And you...stay." The guys are left stunned at the bar, for a shot of carrot juice, but everybody's been drinking it, and Porky was out. "That's all folks."

This one's...interesting. I don't know that I love it, but still. Weeks as always delivers; but I don't know if Silver was traditionally the femme fatale type. I can see everybody being wrecked by her, though...Also this issue: "Rabbit Season" Written by Tom King, art by Byron Vaughns. In a more traditional animated style, Bugs convinces Elmer it was really bat season; Batman takes some more shotgun blasts there. Maybe Elmer needs to change his shot? Read more!

Maybe I didn't say every little word exactly right, but...

Of course I've seen the original 1951 the Day the Earth Stood Still, and I feel like I've seen the 2008 remake in passing; but this might be a more faithful adaptation of the original story! Despite the cover that makes it look like the army can't stop a big green robot from stealing a dame, who doesn't seem to be in a comfortable position for carrying. From 1973, Worlds Unknown #3, "Farewell to the Master!" Written and edited by Roy Thomas, from the original story by Harry Bates, pencils by Ross Andru, inks by Wayne Howard. Cover by Rich Buckler, with John Romita alterations: the soldier in the foreground feels definitely his.

The alien robot Gnut, eight feet tall and seemingly indestructible, now resides in a museum built around it and its ship. The ship had appeared out of nowhere in Washington D.C, and was quickly surrounded by the army; although a reporter asks if that thing could teleport, cordoning it off wasn't going to do much good...OK, that's more of a comment then a question. The next day, from the ship came Klaatu, a saint-like blond guy in a costume way too slutty for either the '51 or '08 movies, and Gnut. The army, surprisingly, seems pretty ready to accept that they had come in peace, but Klaatu is almost immediately shot anyway, by a crazed lone gunman. (All kinds of room for conspiracy theories there!) Klaatu is buried with honors, but Gnut (and the ship) remained immobile and immovable.

A reporter couple accidentally take pictures from the same angle twice, and realize Gnut was moving. Hiding in the museum after closing, they see Gnut moving, although it seems to pay them no mind as it goes into the ship. Strangely, a songbird flies out of the ship, but then dies; then a gorilla comes rushing out! Gnut stops the gorilla from hurting the reporters, but the gorilla dies shortly thereafter, as does the announcer of the museum exhibition--in fact, the announcer dies twice, as Gnut stacks up two bodies. The reporters bring in the guards, and the announcer, who was fine.

The authorities don't seem to believe the story, but are still confused by all the bodies; and encase Gnut in a "glasstex" block. Which Gnut smashes out of, then stomps past tank and bazooka fire to Klaatu's body...to recover a tape of their arrival. The reporters follow, and find Gnut had used an alien apparatus to reincarnate Klaatu--as it had the others--from sound waves. But, the recordings weren't perfect, so the recreations didn't last long. The reporters think, if Gnut used the original recording, maybe it would last longer? Gnut finally speaks, telling them to get that tape.

As Gnut is given the tape, and prepares to leave; one of the reporters asks the robot to tell his master all of Earth was sorry the original Klaatu got shot. But Gnut tells him, "you misunderstand, human...it is I who am the master." 

In the editorial on the letters page, Roy explains how the '51 movie had taken some liberties, including "...it was murked up a bit at the end (a la "The Incredible Shrinking Man" of a few years later) by a misbegotten 'message,' 1950's style." Despite having to make a few changes for the format of comics, and adding a second reporter so they had someone to talk to; it's probably still more faithful to the source material than either movie. But is the original the Day the Earth Stood Still best known for that "misbegotten message"? Would it be remembered at all if the twist was just the robot was really the boss? Also, I do like the next issue tease, that admits it'll either be "Arena," or "Black Destroyer," depending on which one was done in time for deadline!

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I don't see why Julian's so mad there's no "Father Christmas," it's not like he was told there's no Santa Claus.

We mentioned this issue not long ago, and it's entirely possible this was her best selling issue! And she spends a good chunk of it gagged and bound, but everyone was probably here for cover-boy Cable. From 1992, Motormouth & Killpower #7, "Return to Sender" Written by Graham Marks, pencils by Edmund Perryman, inks by Cam Smith and Bambos Georgiou.

Both of the regular leads spend most of this issue captured: Motormouth gets grabbed by the Bad Boys, and trussed up with a gag to counter her vocal powers; while Killpower had been caught by his old handler-slash-"mother" Mrs. Mullarky. Killpower's escape attempt fails, as two members of the Mys-Tech board knock him out; but Motormouth gets away in a walk after a boss removes her gag to question her, and she screams the flesh right off his skull! Neither of those plotlines get as much page space, as Nick Fury's latest attempt to get information out of Mys-Tech, with a ringer: Cable! Who's working his own mission, one he says he couldn't even explain to X-Force. Fury, Cable, and cyborg Badhand sneak into Mys-Tech Central: Cable doesn't want the other two to find out what he was up to, but also had someone on the inside.

Cable and Badhand end up scuffling with "Bysshe," who may have been a "grade-A whacko" and from another dimension, or both, but had powerful energy zaps. Cable beats her with a mirror, probably because they were running out of pages, and recovers "the Clavis Key," which had previously been brought back by the Warheads, but no one may have realized its power. It's implied Cable had been ordered, by someone, to return it; but we don't see that here. Nor do we see Fury's infiltration, but maybe that's for next time; although Motormouth was probably going in to get Killpower, and that seems like a lot of people in and out of Mys-Tech's base of power! Read more!

"Remember."

I am positive I bought...how is this Logan listed on the package? Huh, "Weapon of Vengeance." I think Daken has it now in the comics, but remember his claws are different than his dad's. Anyway, I think I got that figure specifically for this, since Logan has not showed up a ton. I'm not a huge Wolverine fan, although like Venom I seem to have accumulated more than a few of his figures... 

And this is a callback to when Satana first appeared in these strips--over a decade ago? How? There were several Ghost Riders in one of her early appearances here, although I wonder if I had Vengeance then: like I guess I mentioned yesterday, it's been mildly annoying me that I misplaced him, and I need to put all my Ghost Riders in the same bin. I think I have the most recent cycle that I haven't opened yet; I might've grabbed it for fear of missing out.

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