From sad android to werewolf superhero: that's a hell of a character arc.

Continuing the origin of Lone Wolf, later Timber Wolf, with "The Youth who Wasn't Human!" Written by Ed Hamilton, art by John Forte. And now the weirdness starts...

The chapter begins with Lone Wolf totally moping because, as a robot/android/soulless automaton, he'll never know the joys of friends, family or love. Well, boo hoo. Speaking as someone who's been kicked in the jewels more than once, metaphorically and literally, you didn't exactly draw the shortest straw, 'Karth.' You're an incredibly lifelike android with cool powers and more emo than Red Tornado and the Vision put together. Suck it up, robot!

But, one thing he would be denied is Legion membership: since he's not human, Lone Wolf would be barred from joining under false pretenses. That rule may be in place because the Legion's a bunch of robotophobes, or just to prevent Brainiac 5 building a bunch of robots to replace everyone. Either way, Lone Wolf runs away, rather than let Light Lass see if androids do cry.

Regaining consciousness, Sun Boy and Brainiac 5 are brought up to speed by Light Lass, who cries when told Lone Wolf must be an android. Meanwhile, Lone Wolf gets almost an entire page to lament his robotness. He remembers seeing children playing, and agonizes over not having a childhood of his own; but then he probably never was picked last for dodge ball or had to go to bed early because mom and dad were fighting or missed homecoming because they had the chicken pox at 17. What? No, my childhood was awesome, why do you ask?

Lone Wolf then goes on to emote something fierce about how no girl will ever love him since he's a robot. Yeah, robots never get the sweet honeys like the Scarlet Witch or Voodoo or anything. Shouldn't the fact that you're a robot with a libido mean something? Light Lass was into him, but he regrets having to "reject her...tell her the terrible truth about myself!" You know, you being an android didn't seem to be a deal-breaker, man.

Meanwhile, Lightning Lad and Ultra Boy pick up the stranded Legionnaires. Following the android angle, Brainiac 5 has a little research done and comes up with a Dr. Mar Londo, a scientist on Zoon who had worked with androids, but died a few years prior. Figuring Lone Wolf may be hiding out there, they fly to his lab, and are met by his son, Brin Londo.

Brin explains that his dad created an army of androids (in what look like wrestling unitards, for some reason), to send into the caverns of the planet and retrieve the rare element Zuunium. Dr. Londo was going to use the element in a ray that would give humans super powers. Karth Arn was the most intelligent of the androids, so he was their leader, and Karth was the only one to make it back with the Zuunium. (The rest were destroyed by monsters, cave-ins, and so forth. Man, I hate it when they scream.) Dr. Londo tells Karth that he will be like a son to him now, but Brin says when the doctor died, Karth took off and committed those robberies as Lone Wolf.

About that time, Lone Wolf walks up to the lab, fixing to kick Brin's ass for trying to kill him with the blue-light thing that wrecked their ships. Brin wants to shoot him, but Brainy stops him, knowing Ultra Boy can put Karth in a headlock in about two seconds, which he does. Light Lass doesn't want Lone Wolf hurt, Brin does, and Brainy finds all the stolen items in the lab. (You may have wanted to hide those, yeah.) Brainy also points out 'Brin' doesn't have fingerprints. (Which he could see on the gun? I don't know.)

Caught, 'Brin' makes his confession. He was really Karth Arn, the android that brought back the Zuunium. Dr. Londo was already on the way out, but before he died he used his ray to give his son 'limited' powers. ('Limited' in this case meaning, not as strong as Superboy, Mon-el, or Ultra Boy.) Jealous, Karth decided he should be the master. Dr. Londo died after zapping his son, and while Brin was dizzy, Karth shot him with a raygun to give him amnesia. That seems like an awfully specific effect for a weapon, but all right. Karth switched clothes with him...so he could be pretty, I guess; and told Brin the reason he didn't have any memory is because he was a newly created android, named Karth Arn. 'Karth Arn' is kind of a cool name for an android, unless on Zuun it means 'lab slave' or something. How did the android get fat, anyway? He looks like Bouncing Boy in that fourth panel.

Eventually, 'Karth' ran away, to find somewhere he could pass as human. The android Karth, still passing himself as Brin, and still wearing his harness...ew...decided maybe he should get a weapon to take care of the superpowered human if he returned. Which is why he stole the space crystals and stuff. Brainy points out that just proved Lone Wolf's innocence, since he wouldn't steal a weapon to use it on himself; although that's not outside the realm of possibility in a Legion story either.

Brin is overjoyed to discover he's human, and off-panel Brainy cures his amnesia, hopefully while clucking his tongue. Apparently, Brin thought he was an android for maybe a couple of years, and while his powers may have helped make that seem plausible, it still really isn't. Grife, Brin: didn't you maybe think you weren't an android when you were hungry? Or sleepy? Or went to the bathroom or had impure thoughts or cut yourself? This would lead to Brin's characterization as a bit thick later in the series. (I remember a much later issue, when faced with their greatest fears, and with other Legionnaires screaming in terror and panic; Brin sees himself exposed as an android again. His response? "Huh?")

He asks not to be called a Lone Wolf anymore, and as Timber Wolf would eventually join the Legion; but even then he was prone to wandering off by himself. Brin also dates Light Lass for a long time, until she catches him holding Saturn Girl; setting into motion a chain of events that would start with LL leaving him and the Legion and end with her in a committed long-term relationship with her fellow ex-Legionnaire Salu Digby, aka Shrinking Violet. Now that's a break-up. In his defense, there were other Legionnaires there, they were trapped on an ice planet and doomed to die, huddled together for warmth, and Saturn Girl was going on about how much Light Lass loved T-Wolf and her marriage to Lightning Lad was crap in comparison. Hmm. Yeah, I can see my wife not buying it either.

We'll probably have more Timber Wolf stuff some other time, but here's some other bits: his bout with drug addiction was something I saw mentioned once or twice, but never saw until Chris Sims (of Invincible Super-Blog fame) covered it,: it was a little more dramatic in my head, honestly.

A retcon during the Five Years Later era was that Brin was in constant agonizing pain, from the treatments that gave him his powers. That didn't seem to match up with anything seen before, but I suppose if I got superpowers from a weird ray, I might try to discourage others from using it. "Um, Zuunium's rare. No, not like Kryptonite, there's some of that right here. Like super rare, so I guess you shouldn't even bother trying to find any. Oh, and I'm in pain. Yeah, lots of pain. Constant agony since I got my powers, oh, ow."

Lots of Legion talk lately: Over at Again with the Comics, there's the origin of Bouncing Boy, which finally forced me to get off my ass and blog this story. And lastly, check out a Legion writer that would definitely be worth a try. Read more!

His Love is Real, Hulk, even if he is not!

Um, actually, I've never seen A.I. I'm not sure why, but I'm not sure if I thought Kubrick and Spielberg were two great tastes that taste great together. But, it was an easy joke, and surprisingly fitting for this one: Incredible Hulk #127, "Mogol!" Written by Roy Thomas, art by Herb Trimpe.

Bruce Banner, still hunted by the army, is thinking, "Things have got to get better...'cause there's no way to go but up!" when he gets hit by a truck so hard that his pants change color. (They're blue, "borrowed Levis" on the first page; the Hulk's traditional purple pants thereafter.) Of course, this triggers the transformation into the Hulk, and a fairly justifiable rampage. As Hulk stomps along, he notices two bystanders disappear, then some cops vanish as well. Since everyone that's disappeared hates him, Hulk reasons whoever did that must be his only friend. Yeah, good thinking, Hulk.

Deep beneath the earth, long-time Hulk foe Tyrannus is behind the disappearances with his poorly-aimed teleport beam. You remember Tyrannus. Come on, I think he was the villain in the Byrne issues of the current, new Hulk series. No? Um, he's like the Mole Man and fights him sometimes with his army of subterraneans. Except Tyrannus is prettier, is trying to get control of the Fountain of Youth, and is a total dick. But with a kickass helmet. Tyrannus figures Hulk is looking for a friend, and summons his mightiest warrior, Mogol.

Mogol doesn't have any memory, and only remembers that Tyrannus is his king. He's bigger and different than any of the other subterraneans, and Tyrannus sends him to bring back the Hulk, to help fight the Mole Man. Back on the surface, people are running away from the Hulk, leaving him alone as he's always wanted, but feeling sad. Mogol offers the Hulk friendship, but probably shouldn't have mentioned Tyrannus, whom the Hulk remembers is a dick. They fight for several pages, wrecking up several buildings, the street, the subway track, and a lot of walls. Finally, since Mogul is unharmed, and Hulk knows Mogol can't hurt him, Hulk decides to take a chance and be Mogol's friend. And just like a lot of new friendships, it involves moving somebody's stuff.



Hulk and Mogol get to work setting up Tyrannus' army and weapons, then they all head off to attack the city of the Mole Man. Hulk still doesn't like Tyrannus, but is so happy to have a friend that he doesn't care. So, if you're looking for a willing accomplice for war crimes, you might consider giving the Hulk a ring. Bring beans.

For his part, the Mole Man is ready to fight back, and the one subterranean we've ever seen talk gets a line: "But we know Mogol's secret, o master!" As the two now-uniformed armies of little Moloids fight, Mogol and Hulk are stomping through the forces easily, until Mogol is hit by a heat ray. Mogol isn't hurt, but the wound isn't flesh and blood, but metal, and even Hulk knows that means Mogol is a robot. Mogol didn't even know he was a robot, and had been completely genuine in his friendship, but Hulk isn't having it, and rips Mogol in half. In a surprisingly understanding move, Mogol points out he could still pummel Hulk, but won't. Hulk then obliterates Mogol down to his CPU or voicebox or whatever.

Cold, Hulk, cold. Even though Mogol had been a big part of his army, Tyrannus gets a pretty big laugh out of his destruction. He manages to convice Hulk to demolish the Mole Man's city, but Hulk immediately leaves in a huff, and Tyrannus knows it's not looking good. Hulk smashes Tyrannus' (deserted) city as well, and then leaves, wondering if he should've maybe not smashed his only friend, fake, robot, or otherwise. Yeah, probably not, man. It would be slightly more shocking if Hulk had ripped Rick Jones or Jim Wilson in half, though, so you can probably blame poor Mogol's death on the Comic Code's robot-discriminatory policies.

The cover for this issue also promised "Not one--not two--but three of Marvel's most sinister super-villains!" Mole Man's in this for about three panels. Tyrannus barely qualifies as a super-villain, he's more like a huge prick. And Mogol's just wanted to be Hulk's friend. And kill the Mole Man. Iffy on that one. Read more!

Of course, Avengers #211...

The pictures would not load, would not load, would not load...loaded several times. Rather than dick it up trying to remove a couple, let's just go on, eh?

Anyway, still nattering on about Avengers #211. Now, it was my first issue of the book, and I remember it quite fondly, but we've on the third post about it. This is why we're probably not going to talk about Watchmen in any length, huh?

1. After making Moon Knight fight Iceman, and Angel fight Tigra, and everyone narrate their abilities; Moondragon reveals herself as the one who mentally controlled everyone to show up for the membership drive. Baldie refers to herself as a goddess and an Avenger-on-call, and she's there because the Avengers are too stupid to run the team themselves. You all know someone like that: someone smart, built, and totally full of themselves. Maybe not bald and wearing a two-foot high green collar, though. Maybe.

2. Jocasta notices Moondragon's arrival first, then Iron Man elbows his way up front; either because he's a control freak, or because he knew he'd want to be able to say he slept with all the female Avengers someday, and had to check her off.

3. Hawkeye, Black Panther, and Black Widow bag out of the audition process right away: Panther because he was busy being a friggin' king, Widow because she was "rebuilding (her) career as a super-spy for S.H.I.E.L.D." and Hawkeye...because he had a job as a security guard. That and a sixer of Pabst in the fridge.

4. After Dazzler is cut, Iron Man manages to jam Moondragon, then everyone piles on her force-field, until she beams back to her ship. Yeah, from Legion of Super-Heroes to X-Men to JLA back to Moonie here, everyone who had a spaceship back then had transporters, just like Star Trek. And that's great, but the reason Trek had transporters was because it was cheaper than special effects for shuttles or landing the ship. From there it grew into a narrative device. I can't decide if comics took the transporters as a homage, or laziness.

5. Back to the recruitment drive: Moon Knight, Iceman, and Angel split. Oddly again, Iceman and Angel leave separately. Tigra approaches Cap about any positions being open. Hercules sucker-punches Wonder Man through a wall, just because he can and Wondy can take it.

Aside: I loved this period of Marvel's Hercules. Again, it's a character type you probably know: he was that crazy guy that always got the girl, was usually pounding drinks back while you were already hammered, but could fight with you until you were both black-and-blue, completely without malice. He would be a hard guy to hang around with all the time: although he's a great guy, it's just tiring. And that's why Herc's best appearances are usually guest-shots or short series. Herc takes Wonder Man under his wing to hit Hollywood.

6. Second-to-last page, woo-hoo! Time to shake down the roster: Beast quits, Vision and Scarlet Witch quit, Jocasta quits. Beast decides he needs to see if there's more to him than "a blue-furred buffoon!" Yeah, like getting turned into a cat and spending all your time in the X-Men's lab. Yay!

Since Vision and the Witch were a matched set, they split to try to set up a normal life, leading to a couple limited series. They'd be back.

Now short a couple, a spot is open for Tigra, and another for Yellowjacket to come back. Jocasta storms off into the night, feeling she wasn't wanted or consulted. Later, Iron Man reveals he was going to offer her a substitute on-staff position, setting her up at the mansion permanently. A good idea, but that would make Jocasta the Marvel equivalent of DC's Red Tornado, setting robot rights back about a hundred years.

Well, that was a helluva lot of writing for one little issue. The thing is, this was one of my first looks into the Marvel Universe. It wasn't a place where everything worked out at the end of 23 pages, or everyone got along. At the time, I didn't know the shared history of Beast, Iceman, and Angel. Or that half of the auditioners had already been Avengers. But this made me want to learn. Read more!