Weirdly, Guy with a yellow ring feels like last week, while Guy with a red ring feels like a million years ago.

Five or six years ago, I referred to Red Lanterns as "surprisingly readable," but have I blogged an issue of it? Better get started! From 2013, Red Lanterns #24, "Lights Out, part four: Blood Brothers" Written by Charles Soule, art by Alessandro Vitti. 

Red Lantern Bleez thinks she has their new leader, Guy Gardner, over a barrel; since she found out Guy had originally joined them as a spy for Hal Jordan. Either through badassery or bluster, Guy is unperturbed: not only had killing Atrocitus earned him a lot of cred, but it was also her word against his, with no guarantee the others would side with her. Guy even asks if  Bleez wants to share with the group, and she falters. So, Guy spills the beans himself: yes, he joined as a spy, but the Greens didn't care about him, so he was done with them. Eff those green bastards! Of course Hal Jordan immediately appears, with a good chunk of the Corps, and token pink Star Sapphire Carol Ferris.

Meanwhile, the not-dead Atrocitus and his cat Dex-Starr plot their revenge on Guy first, then the rest of the universe; but Atrocitus's bonding with the "embodiment of Red Lantern energy" hasn't really taken yet, as "the Butcher" breaks away from them. 

The Reds attack the Greens, as Hal orders them to play defense. Horned skullface Skallox takes it to Hal, but is held back by Guy, who then pops Hal in the face. Snippily Hal complains, "Sucker punched by Guy Gardner. Must be Tuesday." Guy felt Hal had left him out in the cold, but Hal has an excuse: Relic, from "the universe before ours," was draining the Greens' powers, but the Reds still had theirs. Hal is in no position to give orders, or even ask favors of Guy, who considers himself a Red now, and has something in mind...

Elsewhere, Atrocitus and Dex-Starr fail to round-up the Butcher, which is absorbed by White Lantern Kyle Rayner: Dex-Starr has to give up the chase, to save the powerless Atrocitus in space. Good kitty! Kyle apologizes, which just gets him added to Atrocitus's list. Whatever, man, be a dick. Kyle and some Guardians then face-off with Relic, but not to kill him, but to bring down the Source Wall!

Finally, Guy confers with the other Reds, who grudgingly agree to help kill Relic, but on one condition: in return, they get their own sector! Something tells me they aren't going to settle for G'nort's old sector, either. This would be concluded in Green Lantern Annual #2...which I don't think I have lying around here? I've bought a lot of random cheap GL and related books, and about six out five of them seem to be mid-crossover, so maybe.

Some time back we saw Superman vs. Luthor in the "Clash of '83", which did not actually appear to be in that issue but the next one. Which we don't have today; we've got maybe their next fight, already in progress. From 1985, Superman #412, "Luthor--Today You Die!" Written by Cary Bates, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Al Williamson. Cover by Klaus Janson. 

Luthor is messing with Superman's head today, which has already had a surprising effect, namely getting Clark Kent fired and his reputation destroyed. As Superman, he had saved a falling satellite, then written up the story as Clark Kent; only the satellite had never fallen! Clark had to confess to fabricating the story, which led to his dismissal from both the Daily Planet and WGBS. This issue opens with him in the unemployment office, as the other applicants gossip about him; and he doesn't even get to finish, since he hears a construction disaster. After gathering up the fallen glass, Supes makes a strange request, if the workers could verify what they had seen, since he wasn't sure he could trust his own senses. This of course is all part of Luthor's plan; although he has "nothing personal" against Clark Kent, an unfortunate casualty of his crusade. 

Although he had some of his recurring assistants (including conjoined-twins Plato and Pluto!) Lex is a hands-on type of boss, and plants his "high-potency 'scrambler rods'" around Metropolis, nearly impaling Steve Lombard with one. It's incidental rather than intentional, but when Superman gives chase, Lex hits him with a red-sun based force-field, finally pushing Supes too far, and he drives his arm through Lex's chest! A by-stander comments "Look what happened to Flash when he killed his arch-foe!" 

Great, twenty-eight issues of a trial to look forward to. Maybe we'll get lucky and Luthor's armor will blow up Metropolis and save us that? 

Luthor's death and subsequent explosion were another hallucination, as Superman hangs onto the spire of a skyscraper. Unable to trust himself, can the world still trust Superman? 

Without really intending to, I feel like I've blogged about ninety of these pre-Crisis Superman/Luthor stories, where Lex surreptitiously zaps him with some new ray to cause some weird effect in the hopes of breaking and/or killing Supes. Was that used more than red Kryptonite? Well, they got three issues out of this one, interrupted by a Julius Schwartz tribute issue. This is very much a pre-Crisis story, though, as we'll see if we ever check out the next one.

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"Bottled."

Today's title isn't about putting something in a bottle, but rather breaking one over somebody skull, in case there was any question... Read more!

I feel like there's 14 standard Marvel plots jostling for position this issue...

So we've got the hero trying to keep a younger character from completely breaking bad, a secret-y government agency both hassling the hero and covering their own secrets, wacky roommate secret identity shenanigans, soap opera subplots, a very Marvel-misunderstanding plot, and eventually some bad guys! From 1994, Thunderstrike #13, "Man and Beast!" Written and plotted by Tom DeFalco, penciled and plotted by Ron Frenz, finishes by Al Milgrom.

Although he's trying to keep anyone from getting hurt, the hulking Bison is hijacking a S.H.I.E.L.D. convoy, but gets turned away by Luke Cage, who likewise seems protective of Bison. Agent DePaul, who already seems shifty as hell, tries to arrest Cage, who plays freedom of the press since he had been working for newspaper the Chicago Spectator. (Cage's solo series had come and gone by this point.) Meanwhile, in Manhattan, Eric Masterson has a new roommate, whom he knows as space warrior Stellaris. Eric seems unsure what to do with her, but she seems to have a sense of humor. Luke revisits his old digs, the revamped and rennovated Gem Theater (part of the Times Square update, turning the area into a glossy tourist trap) while at Avengers Mansion, Black Widow and Thunderstrike meet with Agent DePaul. He had planted a bug on Cage, and wanted Thunderstrike to "secure" him for questioning. DePaul's stylish partner 'slips' while handing 'Strike the tracker, letting him catch a glimpse of a folder labeled "Operation Sinkhole." Neither the Widow nor Thunderstrike buy DePaul's story, but Natasha can't get in touch with Nick Fury for the real story, either because he was unavailable, or ducking them. 

Next: a couple pages of subplots, as Eric's ex-wife might be moving to L.A. since her football playing new husband got traded. She isn't sure she's keen on the idea, but young Kevin is devastated. And one of Eric's other love interests, Susan Austin, was having dinner with her doctor, after getting out of a coma...I said "soap opera subplots" before getting to this!

To get the plot really moving, a mysterious shadowy figure tells a lackey that Bison has to bring him the cannister...of Inferno 42! That's a blast from the past, dating back to 1966's Tales of Suspense #75, the first appearance of Batroc! It's a mind-numbingly dangerous explosive element, that could blow up all of Manhattan, and seemingly only makes appearances whenever S.H.I.E.L.D. has to move it through the goddamn city as opposed to any time it might be useful. In the rain, Cage sees Bison gazing longingly from afar at his old girlfriend, but Cage gets jumped by Thunderstrike before he can do anything. After the required scuffle, Cage recounts Bison's tragic origin, or at least some of it: he had been an up-and-coming college basketball star, hit by a tragic injury that destroyed his hoop dreams...then he somehow gained like 700 pounds of muscle and horns, Cage kinda glosses over that part. After sharing some info with the Widow, Cage and Thunderstrike make their way to another greatest hit, the old S.H.I.E.L.D. barbershop front! Which has been abandoned and/or destroyed about a dozen times, but okay.

Deep underground, they are confronted by DePaul in a Mandroid suit, furious that Thunderstrike is too incompetent to be a decent scapegoat. And they were followed by Bison, and Frenz/DeFalco Thor baddies Mongoose and Quicksand! 

Aside from the S.H.I.E.L.D. callbacks, Cage is wearing a number somewhat closer to his classic apparel, including his tiara um, metal headband...thing. Whatever that was.

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Say what you will about the Orb, he keeps his eye on the prize. (BOO!)

We mentioned this issue almost two years ago, with some confusion over whether or not the footnote referring to it was correct or not. Luckily, I had a damaged copy in the garage, so let's see! From 1975, Ghost Rider #15, "Vengeance on the Ventura Freeway!" Written by Tony Isabella, pencils by Bob Brown, inks by Don Heck.

This issue opens mid-jump, with the Ghost Rider trying to land Stunt-Master's cycle, with an unconscious woman, and as the hypnotized Karen Page shoots at him! The Rider barely manages to stick the landing before crashing into a rack of costumes being moved at a bad time, but the costumes cushion their fall. With the bullet having just "creased her skull," the woman Katy is going to be all right, according to Doctor Ghost Rider anyway. But Karen is still controlled by the Orb, who says she's worth a million to him, with a bounty on her head, and he escapes with her. Oddly, everywhere there, from the Orb to Stunt-Master and the crew, seem to know the Ghost Rider is Johnny Blaze: the boss, Coot Collier, is pissed at him for showboating and blames him for their star getting kidnapped, which Johnny does not have a lot of patience for, and slugs him as he storms off. Somewhat more unusually, as he picks his ass up, Collier does admit he had that coming; and rallies Stunt-Master and the crew to help Johnny out. They give chase, and get a nice double-page view of the Orb taking a potshot at Ghost Rider on the Ventura Freeway...which may or may not have been drawn with any reference; it looks like a nightmare of entangled overpasses, speeding and indifferent cars, and smog.

Having faced the Rider before, the Orb has prepared for his flames with "an asbestos-fibered costume!" Uh, I'm not positive that would work against hellfire, but there are other problems with that...Karen snaps out of the hypnosis to struggle with the Orb for his laser gun, and he's forced to toss her: Johnny makes the catch pretty easily, but is shaken as it reminds him of his old girlfriend, Roxanne; because I'm not sure he could eat a sandwich without some horrible flashback or painful reminiscence. For good measure, he was also steamed that he messed up and Hercules was kidnapped over in the Champions. (I'm guessing on the issue, but think I'm right.) The Orb causes a multi-car pile-up, forcing Ghost Rider to make a jump that would make him an easy target, but Collier shoots the gun out of Orb's hand! (Collier had mentioned doing his own shooting, when he was an actor!)

Catching up to the Orb, Ghost Rider gives him an extended thrashing, even reverting back to Johnny before the end of it; he only stops when Karen and everyone arrive and suggest he's had enough. The Orb had been pretty wrecked to begin with, honestly; but Johnny thinks he's only going to come back if he doesn't take care of him, and is only stopped by the appearance of Jesus! Maybe for real this time, this was after 'Satan' claimed he was 'the Messenger' in GR #8! Jesus advises, Johnny would have other chances to save Herc and fight Satan, his real foe; don't just take it out on the Orb.

Meanwhile, Wendy and Richard Pini (of Elfquest fame!) visit the shot Katy in the hospital, in time to find her possessed by the Possessors; a problem for Johnny to face with the Son of Satan in the next issue.

The Trapster did not appear here, so I think the footnote from Marvel Team-Up #58 was in error. And now we know!

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On the cover, they're only metaphorically making out on Lois's grave. So far, anyway...

In physics, the observer effect is when the act of observing something changes the outcome, like how when every time you watch a football game your team loses. So let's observe something four or five damn times and see what happens. From 1991, Adventures of Superman Annual #3, "Beyond the Reach of Time" Written by Louise Simonson, pencils by Bryan Hitch, inks by Hitch, James Sanders III, Joe Rubinstein, Ray McCarthy, Nick Napolitano, Jerry Acerno, and Dick Giordano.

Waverider, having time-travelled from 2001 to find the hero that would go bad and become Monarch, checks Superman's future for the third time here; and or course gets completely different results. Touching Clark Kent as he ponders Lois's future with him, Waverider gets a vision of a world where Lois dies in childbirth, prompting the disraught Superman to leave earth. Possibly just to die, since he didn't have that much air; but instead Supes is attacked by aliens who think he's an Almeracian. While they do a number on him, they are then immediately killed by a real Almeraican, Maxima, who rescues Supes. Badly wounded, he calls out for Lois. Maxima's handmaiden/assistant Sazu suggests a ploy for her to win Superman's heart: pretend to be gentle, weak.

While Supes was recuperating, Maxima seemingly allows her ship to be attacked by a race rebelling against the Almerac empire: she knows they look fierce but are creampuffs, Superman will clobber them, and then she can fawn all over him. So she feels a bit foolish when they turn out to have actually dangerous weapons, but it still works out mostly as planned. Maxima tries to paint herself as older and wiser and absolutely not stalking him, but also tries to convince Superman that he could help bring peace to the galaxy. Also, if he could get her out of an arranged marriage to cyborg lunatic De'cine, that would be great: Maxima was under a lot of pressure to deliver an heir and continue the royal line, which seems gross. Attempting to maintain a show of strength, Maxima is about to whip the tar out of some captives, which of course leads to a fight with Supes: she's making headway, but still feels the ghost of Lois between them.

Sazu has an idea, though; that might "kill several throats," as she puts it: she suggests to De'cine that destroying earth would cause Superman to lose face, and he takes the bait. Destroying earth would kind of get back at Superman for causing a rift between Sazu and her mistress, as well as drive him further into Maxima's arms. As De'cine leaves, Maxima's people assume it was because he was afraid of her; and Maxima asks Superman, see the crap I have to put up with? Supes suggests kindness may get her further, and suggests a test with a lowly gardener. The fact that the fearsome Maxima would ask him nicely, inspires the gardener to get her the best fruit; and she and Superman share possibly their first kiss. 

Later that night, Supes decides to visit earth, and Lois's grave, to consider his future. Reading his note in the morning, Sazu has to 'fess up that maybe De'cine maybe might have possibly been on his way to earth, although that certainly isn't anyone's fault; which does not go over especially well. Maxima arrives in time to save Superman, and incidentally earth; but then has to confess she as much as gave Sazu the idea. Superman is pretty forgiving, though: they aren't quite a couple at the end, but close; when Waverider returns to the present, probably having already changed the timeline. Again. His next stop we saw a piece of years back: Justice League Europe Annual #2. I suppose I should finally add some Armageddon 2001 tags.

Incidentally, this book did not want to go into the scanner; but some of those panels really show Hitch when he was a bit more Alan Davis-influenced. I know I have a couple of his issues on ClanDestine when he took that over--I feel like Davis never announces he's leaving a book, he just ghosts. Weird.  

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You might not think a dog would go for cat food, but my old dog would've eaten a quarter if you tossed in the air right.

This may now be the oldest comic in my collection, and of course I just picked it up randomly! From 1949, Monkeyshines Comics #25, featuring stories and art from Vince Fago, Irving Dressler, Milt Stein, and more. 

Publisher Ace Magazines went under in 1956, and their roster of heroes is largely forgotten today: I had vaguely heard of Magno, and occasional X-Men character Dr. Nemesis was from there. How Marvel got him; uh, I think he just went public domain and Marvel just lumped him in with the Invaders. 

This particular issue is funny-animal hijinks, starting with cat vs. mouse vs. dog class warfare with Pat & Mike; then Nutty Squirrel "helps" Sherlock Hound find a stolen wig. Slick-talker Professor Penguin wants a pet of his own, which logically leads to selling refrigerators to Eskimos; Tuffy Bear gets tried of the baby games in his neighborhood so tries out Murder Hill; and Marmaduke Monk is a cranky Donald Duck-type first irritated by then missing his nephews. I don't think I'd heard of any of them! 

I picked this up for maybe fifty cents from EntertainMart; but I have to wonder how many hands it passed through before then? Enough that somebody did the connect the dots puzzle, anyway.

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"Stalling."

...wait, would a "two-symbiote minimum" be the usual symbiosis, or would you have to have double-Venom? 

Anyway, new bar set! And of course I got more pieces after shooting this, so I won't be able to put them in for a while. Yeah, we're worried about continuity now. Our waitress is another Kirsten Dunst Mary Jane, from the first Spider-Man movie; and not as poseable as the other one. 

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I've been kind of pissed at the Secret Six for upwards of four years now...

...so let's see if we can resolve that with the conclusion of their crossover with my guys, the Doom Patrol! From 2011, Doom Patrol #19, "Suicide Roulette, Part Two: Ring-a-Ding Doom!" Written by Keith Giffen, pencils by Matthew Clark and Ron Randall, inks by Art Thibert and Sean Parsons.

The Secret Six--which is actually eight assholes here; King Shark is present but not on the splash page roll call--have been set on Oolong Island, by spoiled legacy super-villain wannabe Eric of S.M.A.S.H, who has just ignited a volcano on the island. The Doom Patrol didn't give a great showing in the Six's comic, but start to rally here; beginning with Ambush Bug introducing Jeannette to Danny the Bungalow, taking her off the board. Ragdoll is about to peel the bandages off an unconscious Negative Man, when he gets an assist from the cranky pelican that had been harassing him for issues. Catman and Scandal come under fire by the mad scientists of Oolong, which isn't as amusing as they would've hoped. Rita throws Bane over the horizon line, where he lands by Deadshot, pinned down by the island's defenses; then Rita shows her real power to Black Alice, growing huge! But, Rita has to dig a lava trench rather than slap the sass out of her.

Eric, overconfident and sallow, was unprepared for island president Veronica Cale to get through his cloak and get a missile lock, and flees, swearing vengeance, if only to make himself feel better. With their ride splitting, the game has changed for the Six, who no longer have a reason to fight, even though Robotman pops Catman one for it. The Six are put on a jet home, after a bit more trash-talk, and Rita recovers Bumblebee from Ragdoll. Still, the amount of damage and general annoyance caused makes Cale question if the Doom Patrol are pulling their weight, and she contacts Jost of the Front Men. Her pilot warns the team, which Cliff shrugs off, figuring "Mr. Somebody or whatever he's calling himself" and Cale would never be able to work together. So, of course they've already hired the team's replacements, including Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man and the Porcelain Assassin!

I miss this version of the team, just a collection of put-upon sourpusses and weirdos in an almost workaday relationship to superheroing and PTSD. They were kinda miserable, but not without a sense of humor about it. Oh, and I didn't scan all of them, but Catman has a pretty good bit about his grandpa, while Larry and Cliff banter about not thinking. This sold virtually no copies, however...while I'm still steamed at the Six. Read more!

I went back through his tag to make sure I hadn't hit this issue before, and noticed I'd accidentally mis-labeled one of his issues under his guest-star, who wouldn't get a regular series for years! We'll see if I do a better job today. From 1993, Darkhawk #30, "This Evil Unleashed" Written by Danny Fingeroth, pencils by Anthony Williams, inks by Ian Akin. 

It's an Infinity Crusade crossover, and while he might've been star-struck in earlier appearances, Chris Powell isn't thrilled about being there today. He had promised to be there for his family and felt this was taking away from that; but also why bother, since it was an outbreak of peace and love? All over earth, abusers and criminals recant and stop their evil ways (the Beetle is seen stopping mid-armored car robbery) although some of the "converted," including some fellow heroes, seem "zombied out." (Chris claims Reed Richards said that, and unless he was really trying to dumb it down, I kind of doubt it!) Still, Chris had earlier resolved to be in the super-hero game "for keeps," and won't quit. He was due to meet his mom, and does take five to fly over--he had only recently gained that power; previously relying on gliding and grapples.

The meeting does not go well: the restaurant is out of lean corned beef, and since he doesn't think he can tell his mom about his secret, she kicks him out of the house. (Or the hotel they were living in, since I think their house was blown up a prior issue.) Which is greeted about how you'd expect from a troubled young man, with a resounding "Fine!" Returning to the gathered heroes, Chris is frustrated that there was still no clear call to action, meaning he rushed through seeing his mom for no reason. While brooding--and it's surprising he's the only one brooding on the roof. Maybe they take shifts--Darkhawk sees an energy-being coming towards Avengers' Mansion, and somehow senses it was evil. (It might be the collection of everyone's unacted-upon evil, or something else.) After a brief battle where it tried to drain his energy, Darkhawk overloads it, but it promises to return and kill him. While in no shape to chase it, Darkhawk stupidly decides to tell the other "unconverted" heroes later; although admittedly he has other things on his mind, like picking up his things and saying goodbye to his brothers. Jon is sad, while Jase hates Chris for making their mother sad, and tells him straight-out. His mom asks where he will be staying, and Chris says with friends, while thinking "If I don't die in outer space."

At the mansion again, a vote is being taken: go after the converted taken by the Goddess, or respect their decision? Darkhawk thanks them for asking, but says he'll go with the group's decision: "These are the big questions. I can't even answer the little ones."

The evil "Pureheart" doesn't take that name this issue; and I kind of thought it was going to take a shiny or white Darkhawk-form.

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