The title's at the end of this one...

Hmm. Goldmember didn't pop up first in the list of movies Michael Caine was known for. (The Oldest was watching the Austin Powers movies last month, and I think I made it through about an hour.) Goldmember isn't the best of the Austin Powers movies, but "Daddy Wasn't There" was a pretty good number.

Dale, of Mr. Morbid's House of Fun fame, hooked me up with the Movie Masters Alfred figure, and thanks again! Now I have someone to do all of Batman's prep work, cooking, and light cleaning! I'll own up to this little confession as well: Dale shipped it UPS, and I'm not home when they come around, nor have I trained that dog to sign for packages yet. So, I called and told them I'd pick it up...then wrote the address down wrong and ended up first on a dirt road in the country, then a gated community, before finally getting to the UPS hub. In fact, I'm not sure I would've found it if I hadn't seen a UPS truck...you can make things a lot more exciting for yourself if you're kind of dumb, man. It was a nice drive, and I ended up going to Toys R Us and everything too.

Although I don't think I've posted any of them yet, I've been scanning some Batcave panels. Someone, not me, needs to set up some kind of online resource for building a DCUC scale Batcave. How big is the giant penny in-scale? Or the dinosaur? Or the Joker card and everything else? I'm still looking into that, but who knows how far I'm going to get on it...actually, I know we'll look more into that, it's scheduled for some other time.




BATMAN: Alfred, I'm going to need complete plans to the Davis Building downtown, ISBN info for every children's riddle book published in 1987, samples of all the major brands of insecticide...and I might need you to take a look at this stab wound. Man, it's a bleeder.

ALFRED: Of course, sir; but there's something I need to tell you first. It's about a secret, one I've kept for far too long.
BATS: Is it about my secret brother? I'm way ahead of you, 'cause I think he's the guy that stabbed me...

ALFRED: No, sir. It's about my son. He found me, and he's here for a visit...
BATS: What? Alfred, I didn't even know you had a son!
ALFRED: Yes, well, I like to keep my personal and private lives separate, sir.

BATS: Uh...ok...
ALFRED: There's something else, sir: he knows you're Batman.
BATS: Wha--how? Did you--!?
ALFRED: No, sir. He's in British intelligence, just like I was. I don't know if he's at my level, but he's no slouch. He's been...touring the cave all afternoon.

AUSTIN: Hey, baby! I think you've got it, wrong, man: you're supposed to build a swinging pad to lure birds, baby; not bats!

AUSTIN: Hey, is that a giant penny? I thought Fat Bastard had the biggest coin slot in the world!

BATS: ...
ALFRED: Yeah, I don't like it anymore than you do.



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I know I had these two issues for a reason, but...

The blog's name is Random Happenstance, but it just as well could've been Faulty Headmeat Misfiring, since I'm not positive why I was thinking of these two issues for the same post. I think, on my walk home the other day (sometime in the last three months, since who knows when this'll be posted...) and was thinking about an issue I don't have handy: Justice League International #21, a fun Giffen/DeMatteis/Templeton romp with the team on Apokolips, and the return of Mister Miracle.

I think Mister Miracle is a character I like the idea of, more than any actual issues I've read of his. And I have the Kirby trade, and I've read a bit of his solo books, and some of the Morrison/Seven Soldiers version, and I loved his guest-spot in the last issue of Orion. (That last one will end up in "The End" Week one of these years.) And I think I still have the Steve Rude Mister Miracle Special from 1987 somewhere, too. It's not bad, but Rude's art there isn't as...lush as it was in Nexus. Or as animated as it was from this other book Rude did in 1987: from Comico, Space Ghost #1!

With Mark Evanier co-writing, Willie Blyberg on inks, and painted colors by Ken Steacy (!) Rude drops a love-letter to Hanna-Barbera's cartoon hero that reads like the extra-length episode you always wanted. A mysterious figure frees some of Space Ghost's greatest foes from intergalactic prison, including Zorak, Brak, and the Lurker; and the masked hero is going to have to run the gauntlet. Straight-forward, but super-fun.

Unfortunately, it's also square-bound, so it was a bear to cram in the scanner. Oddly, though, I think I have a spare copy of this bagged up somewhere from my college days; and that just makes me wonder what the distribution and sales were like for it...!

But, since I had been thinking of Mister Miracle, I also thought of this issue, also written by Mark Evanier, as luck would have it: Superman Adventures #42, "Living (Scott) Free" (Art by Neil Voker, inks by Terry Austin.) After a quick retelling of Scott's escape from the orphanage of Granny Goodness and Apokolips itself, we catch up with Mister Miracle trying to drum up publicity with daring escapes...that keep getting interrupted by Superman saving him.

Superman can't figure out why someone would willingly risk their life for nothing, but as Scott describes it as a celebration of freedom. Of course, Granny Goodness gets in on the action, planting a bomb on Scott's rocket-sled trick that will explode if he gets off, or crashes, or if Superman picks it up. Undaunted, Scott opens a boom tube to Apokalips, to "take a faulty product back to the manufacturer!"


This ish also features Big Barda, and some Parademons who use the "Pachydermatological Ray" to cause a ruckus at the circus, and is a lot of fun. Still, that doesn't really explain how my poor brain connected these two comics together, yet here we are.




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From 2003, Marvel Double Shot #2, "The Roots of All Evil" Story and art by Bill Morrison, best known as co-founder of Bongo Comics.
When Loki swears vengeance on Thor (again...) the Enchantress is mildly concerned that he may actually do it someday, so she puts the idea in his head to revisit his roots, as God of Mischief. Inspired, Loki turns to pranksterism, putting hair-removal cream in Thor's helmet. But, after flushing the toilet while the Falcon's in the shower, Loki decides why stop with just Thor?

In short order, Iron Man's armor is filled with fire ants, Cap's shield is vasolined, the Scarlet Witch is dyed scarlet, and more. Unfortunately, Loki didn't take Jarvis into account, or a well-placed inflated sheep's bladder. (The Black Knight would have to "put aside his craving for haggis one more day.")


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A quick one today, so we can all get back to reading SDCC headlines...

I was seriously considering bagging out today, honestly. It's about a hundred degrees here--which I like, but my dog is hot to the touch, so he can't go anywhere. I've got a flat tire I need fixed, my keyboard occasionally refuses to type the letter 'c,' and like I said, everyone still at home is doubtless reading about goings on from San Diego Comic-Con. But, real quickly:

Being cheap, I didn't spring for Mattel's DC subscription, although I had at least a passing interest in the Metron figure. There are reviews out there with some pretty good pictures--Needless Things, It's All True, OAFE.net, a guest review at Poe Ghostal's--and the general consensus is that Metron himself is somewhere between fine and OK, but the chair is all kinds of great. In fact, the Mobius Chair should probably get billing over Metron.

Now, DC Direct also did a Metron figure a year or two back, but without a chair. Which just seems sad: he and his chair are pretty inseparable. You don't see Captain America sold without his shield, or Thor without his hammer, or Professor X without...his chair. (Metron can walk, he's just lazy. And the Mobius Chair can travel the length and breadth of the space-time continuum...) Hastings' website has the DCD Mobius on sale for $4.25 right now, and they also occasionally have sales on shipping as well. I've been wondering if I'm crafty and/or industrious enough to cobble a chair together for him...out of pizza boxes and dog hair, apparently.

This train of thought compelled me to dig up an issue where the Mobius Chair is on panel more than its master: Marvel and DC Present Featuring the Uncanny X-Men and the New Titans #1, "Apokolips...Now" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Walt Simonson, inks by Terry Austin; reprinted in Crossover Classics. Darkseid and Metron make a little tech-swap, so Darkseid can try to harness the power of Dark Phoenix, and Metron can try to breach the Source Wall. Metron seemingly fails immediately, his chair drifting off unattended. But, the chair would be found later by the X-Men and the Titans, who would use it to get back to earth:

I thought I had a different reprint, besides the big trade; I would've also scanned a panel where Cyclops is possessed/inhabited by the Dark Phoenix power, as indicated by the addition of the tasteful emblem and not a red thong. Then again, I also thought the X-Men and the Titans all just piled onto the Mobius Chair for the ride home, all fourteen of them crammed on there like a fat guy on a minibike. Duhr.

What the heck, let's have a quick look at a somewhat different Metron--a lackey of Darkseid, in a dark future--and a different chair; this also features my favorite description of life I've ever heard, and one of my favorite single issues: JLA #14, "Rock of Ages, part five: Twilight of the Gods" Written by Grant Morrison, art by Howard Porter, inks by John Dell. While Wonder Woman gives her life to distract Darkseid, and our timeline's Wally, Kyle, and Aquaman stand around confused; Batman convinces Metron there's something he doesn't know. Metron is intrigued, and is goaded to "narrow the frequencies of my form to an exact simulation of your biology. I can easily become human."

How many splash pages were there in the most recent issue of JLA? This issue just has one, the traditional splash page opening. So good, even if that means there isn't a great big shot of Metron and his chair. Oh, well.





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80-Page Thursdays: Silver Age 80-Page Giant #1!

Featuring possibly the biggest cast of any 80-pager we've seen yet, the conclusion to DC's Silver Age fifth-week event: Silver Age 80-Page Giant #1, "S.O.S. to Nowhere!" Written by Mark Waid, art by Eduardo Barreto. As the cover says, "starring 37 super-stars and 9 vile villains!"

The villains in question are the Injustice League (Sinestro, Dr. Light, Chronos, Mr. Element, Felix Faust, Catwoman, Black Manta, the Penguin, and Lex Luthor) who, with the alien villain Agamemno, have stolen the master power battery of the Green Lantern Corps, the Absorbascon, and a jewel from Krypton. Putting them all together, the IL has access to the combined knowledge of the human race, including the JLA's secret identities; and new multicolored power rings. The entire Green Lantern Corps is paralyzed over Rann, and although the JLA is back in their own bodies, they're on the ropes.


Taking their loved ones to safety in Gorilla City, the League's only hope is a mysterious, unknown band of superheroes the Atom and the Challengers of the Unknown saw in Chronos' time-pool. But with the villains new powers are too much for the JLA, even with help from the Teen Titans, Doom Patrol, Batgirl, the Metal Men, Metamorpho, and more. (Notably, Kid Flash and Adam Strange are missing...) J'onn, however, has a last gasp plan, that he can't share with the team since he can only telepathically shield the info in his own mind.

Facing the Injustice League, the JLA is nearly defeated when J'onn arrives with Robby Reed and his H.E.R.O. dial. Using the dial, the League transform into new heroes that the IL isn't prepared for, and beats them. That gives Agamemno the opening to return, but reinforcements arrive in the form of Hawkman--possibly the one we know, possibly not, but he came with a phalanx of Hawk-police and the entire GLC. J'onn removes the Absorbascon and the Kryptonian jewel from Agamemno's device, and the Green Lanterns imprison him in the power battery.

Using the Absorbascon, the collected knowledge is removed from the Injustice League (and Luthor is forced to restore the JLA's reputation in order to stay out of jail) and Deadman reveals that he and Adam Strange used Kid Flash and a zeta-beam, to get to Rann and free the GLC. Young Robby Reed worries the JLA may confiscate the alien hero-dial, but they agree he's earned it.

The issue also features Silver Age style Batman, Wonder Girl, and Super-Turtle stories. I know I've bought this one out of the quarter-bins more than once; and I like this particular event, even though at cover price it would've been one of the more expensive fifth-week events.


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"Bringdown at the Baxter Building."

I imagine Reed probably has to do a battery of scans every time the Fantastic Four returns from the Negative Zone or deep space or wherever, to make sure they haven't brought anything back, and that they're actually home. It's why I kind of liked the Four Freedoms Plaza building, with the big fours on it. Easier to find.











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Sadly, the book was cancelled before Conan faced the "Men of X."

Whether you're a fan of the character or not--and by god, you should be--you'd have to admit Conan the Barbarian had a pretty successful run at Marvel Comics. From his first issue in 1970, Conan would have a 275 issue run (and I would dearly love to have that last issue for "The End" Week...) as well as 235 of Savage Sword of Conan, 55 of Conan the King, and other spin-offs.

Then there was his 1995 relaunch, simply titled Conan. Even with Larry Hama and Dan Abnett writing, and art by Bret Blevins and Enrique Alcatena (on a few issues...) the series didn't seem to catch on. Today's issue? Didn't help. Conan #7, "Man of Iron" Written by Larry Hama, art by Bret Blevins. One look at the logo and you have a pretty good idea what you and Conan are in for; and I'm pretty sure there was another issue around that time with Conan meeting a grim-yet-familiar warrior who's family was killed before his eyes, who took a skull for his emblem...

Working as a mercenary, Conan is hired by a duke to put down a "freeholder with territorial ambitions," with the promise of pillaging and looting. However, the duke and his men end up put down, with Conan the only survivor, facing a Man of Iron. I'm not completely sold on the design, but at least Blevins doesn't just put an Iron Man armor with more spikes and a bigger codpiece in there. Fighting viciously, Conan knocks the Man of Iron's head off, which does nothing; and gets slapped down by the flat of an axe.

Carried off the field of battle by shield-maidens, Conan wakes up in a garden surrounded by scantily-clad babes; but suspects treachery. He is introduced to siblings Ragallo and Rowena, master and mistress of the castle. Conan suspects Ragallo of being the Man of Iron, but later sees the Man in action against brigands, as Ragallo fires arrows into the fray. After nearly getting stuck in the suit, Rowena emerges; describing the suit as not sorcery, merely "cleverness and craft" and the work of a man named Wu. (I thought that was supposed to be a nod to Ho Yinsen of Iron Man's origin, but now I'm not sure.)

Rowena had been studying the armor, and had learned enough to build more of them. She wanted Conan to be her general, and looked like she was also going to sleep with him right there, before her brother shoots her in the back and takes the armor for himself. Enraged, Conan fights the novice Ragallo, positioning him so his attack launches them both over the parapet and into the moat, where Ragallo drowns before he can get out of the suit. Just that quickly, too.

I actually had to count how many pages that issue ran, since it was a bit slight.
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I am honestly surprised I haven't posted anything from this issue before, since I love it to death, even though I didn't really have it for years. Huh? Well, it's Warlord #4, "Duel of the Titans" by Mike Grell. Story, pencils, and inks. Love it.

The wizard-priest Deimos has taken over the city of Thera, and holds its queen Tara prisoner. Everything's coming up Deimos, at least until Travis Morgan, the Warlord, shows up outside the city's walls...with an army of former gladiators and slaves, equipped with "modern" war machinery: crossbows, catapults, and siege towers.

Deimos is not particularly worried by this, since this just gives him the opportunity to finally kill Travis, and to try out the power of the very nicely-bound "Scrolls of Blood." Tara, for her part, is neither impressed nor frightened; and has a somewhat annoyed expression like she's waiting for Travis to pick her up from work, and he's late. Still, Deimos is able to conjure up a giant horned demon out of smoke, which crushes a siege tower.

While something like that might usually be a problem, this was early on in the series, and Travis still had some gear left from his SR-71 Blackbird. Namely, a big chunk of plastic explosive intended for the plane's self-destruct. Charging up the remnants of the tower, Travis intends on blowing Deimos' head off with his Automag, but Tara is in the line of fire. Instead, he takes out Deimos' crystal ball-thing, disspelling the monster. Then, he hangs the plastic explosive on the castle door, runs for cover, then shoots it; and blamo. (We'll ignore the fact that for an explosive like C-4, a gunshot shouldn't set it off, even from a .44 AutoMag. Which is kind of an odd gun for an Air Force pilot to have anyway, but if I'm not mistaken, Travis was blowing punks away with it years before Dirty Harry!)

His forces routed, Deimos tries to sneak out with Tara, but is captured. At gunpoint he demands a fight, "Freedom or death! Tara encourages Travis to just shoot him, but Travis can't do that in cold blood, and agrees to face him. He orders the torches put out: "It is fitting that this prince of evil should die in darkness!"

Deimos holds his own for a bit, wounding Travis; but then it's on. Enraged, Travis forces Deimos back, into the eternal sun of Skartaris, where Deimos is killed. No spoiler, he'd be back--I originally read this in The Deimos Saga 100-page digest version, and this scene is maybe fifteen pages in. I don't know if Grell planned on Deimos's return from the get-go, but he would come back, um, five or six times, off the top of my head. (Sometimes, rather dramatically, sometimes just because.)

Even though sword-and-sorcery, adventure movies haven't done well at the box office lately (John Carter or the recent Conan the Barbarian) I'd love to see a Warlord movie. I don't know if Grell intended this either, but there's something quintessentially American about Travis: at his best in a tight spot, but prone to losing focus and wandering off: he's great at overthrowing the tyrant, not so hot at rebuilding society. (There's a reason his wife Tara usually greets his return with a punch in the face...)
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Over the weekend, among other books, I got a set of Harley & Ivy #1-3, script and plot by Paul Dini, plot and art by Bruce Timm, inks by Shane Glines; and this set was autographed by letterer Tom Orzechowski! Orzechowski has lettered about a bazillion comics, including about 6,000 pages of Chris Claremont's X-Men work.

This was from 2004, and I'm kind of wondering how I missed it, since I love Dini and Timm's Batman: the Animated Series work; and it's a lot of fun. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are best friends, even though they're nothing alike, don't get along that well, and probably shouldn't hang out. The "Odd Couple" dynamic is nothing new, but they make it look effortless.

Harley and Ivy try to steal a "Zombie Root" on display in Gotham, but Harley gets the nights wrong, and they run afoul of Batman. Thrown in Arkham, Ivy is blisteringly furious with Harls; but this sets events into motion: in short order, they escape, steal a cruise ship, make their way to South America to find the root, and end up in Hollywood to commandeer production of a movie about themselves.

A lot of fun; the only way this could be better is if it were longer.




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80-Page Thursday: JLA Showcase 80-Page Giant #1!

In recent years, DC's 80-pagers have moved away from simple numbering, to going by year. I'm curious if there's any particular reason for that: were sales declining because of numbering? Is there a bump in sales for Justice League of America 80-Page Giant 2011 that you wouldn't get if it was #4? And that doesn't explain the title of today's book, anyway. From 2000, JLA Showcase 80-Page Giant #1, featuring stories by Dwayne McDuffie, Len Kaminski, Terrance Griep Jr, and more; with art by Ariel Olivetti, Bachan, Val Semeiks, Gordon Purcell, and more.

What makes this a "Showcase" rather than a regular 80-Page Giant? Um, team-ups? That and "The Century War" came out the same year, so it's just squeezing in another issue. While there are more than a few known names, there's also a fair amount of new talent trying out here.

In "Progress," Batman, Superman, and Green Lantern (Kyle) face the Hand of Krona, an alien cult that improves worlds, sometimes by force. Kyle was no longer the green rookie here; he'd been around long enough to recognize Krona's name: "Wasn't he the guy that almost blew up the universe?" The cultists are of the opinion that sometimes science involves breaking a few eggs, and there's no stopping progress; but they'd consider leaving earth alone if Kyle agrees to join them. (Interestingly, they don't want him for his ring: having the last GL on board would be a PR get.)

The JLA faces a crisis they weren't prepared for in "The Dogs of War." With the core team deployed, the only Leaguer available for monitor duty is...Plastic Man.

Although thought of as irresponsible by most of the team, Plas steps up as a one-man Justice League to stop an alien invasion. An alien invasion by relatively harmless dog aliens intent on improving their street cred, but still.

Investigating the ruins of Eclipso's temple on the moon, Superman and Kyle find a "Space Wolf." I liked this one, but that may also be from fond memories of the werewolf-on-the-moon storyline from Scud the Disposable Assassin. Then, in "Communications Error," Steel and Aquaman don't have much in common, but come together when the Watchtower is threatened by the "Oblivion Meme."

In a satellite-era tale, Barry and Dinah face a troublesome fairy named Liverstains. Which sounds like fun, except he was promised a baby to eat. Or the Flash, either or. It's amusingly weird, more so than the next one, "The Flashback of Notre Dame," where Captain Atom takes a day off with his fiance in Paris, and runs into a mess of gargoyles. The issue ends with "Toy Story," as two boys have to outsmart a bully to get their action figures back. (Would a toy manufacturer in the DCU sell figures of Doomsday and the Joker? They are multiple-murderers...)

So, Showcase isn't as strong as the prior three JLA 80-Pagers, but not without its merits either.
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Midway through Avengers vs. X-Men...

I do give Cyclops a good deal of crap, but I have to admit, if he and the rest of his Phoenix 5 or whatever got all hopped up on power and decided to put humans in reservations (a word with slightly less negative connotations than "camps") I'd be hard pressed to fault him on it; since humans have pretty consistently been dicks in the Marvel Universe.

Hmm. That's an odd note for the Fourth, but have a happy and safe holiday!

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Why I'm not reading "Avengers vs X-Men."

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So, some movie opens tomorrow...

Or tonight, I guess, if you're going at midnight or something. Somehow, I would be more excited for The Amazing Spider-Man if the Lizard tried this:

From 2003, ToyFare #68, Twisted Toyfare Theatre, "A Lizard in Every Pot." By McCallum, Root, and Oat; with Aclin, Bricken, Patyk, and Guttierrez.

I'm personally not super-excited for the new Spider-Man movie, but I suspect that's because I was much more excited for Avengers or the Dark Knight Rises. Or maybe it's because Marvel...oh, Marvel. They're exasperating, at best; since I haven't been able to really enjoy about 90%, 95% of what they do lately. The Hurting's Tim O'Neil has a solid evisceration of AvX that hits some of the problems I have with Marvel lately. And I think a lot of Marvel's current output is probably fine, but the stuff that I don't like ruins the rest for me.

The only books from Marvel I'm currently enjoying are Garth Ennis's Fury (or "Fury MAX") and Rick Remender's Uncanny X-Force. Fury I'm loving so much, I'm afraid someone higher up at Disney will realize what they're publishing and pull the plug; while X-Force is good but not quite what I want it to be. Because I'd rather it was the Nightcrawler/Deadpool/Wolverine show; and it spends a little more time than I'd care for on Fantomex and Psylocke. (I do like that AoA Nightcrawler, more than once, has been shown at the verge of death, but refuses to quit, because he still has people on his kill list; and Wolverine is the one wondering if things have gone too far.)

I'm still hoping against hope that Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes will keep going; but a recent episode made me realize I hate both the character and the idea of the Red Hulk. I had been ignoring him before...That, and over on Twitter, Evan Dorkin pointed out that Red Hulk might be the last big new (or "new") character introduced at Marvel, since creators are getting less anxious to sign their creations over to Disney/Marvel. (I suppose Red She-Hulk or A-Bomb might be "new" characters as well, but this is just making me sad.)

And Big Bad Toy Store revealed the figures for the third 2012 wave of Marvel Legends (although they don't know the Build-a-Figure yet) and I'm a little disappointed: another Iron Man, another Dr. Doom, another Punisher (or Blade). I could be persuaded on the X-Force uniform Deadpool, and I definitely want USAgent, but I'll have to see if the others really wow me.

So, I'm all cranky-pants. I'm sure I'll see Amazing Spider-Man sooner or later, though. How about you?

Oh, and I almost forgot: ToyFare #68 also featured one of my favorite short gags from the entire run of the magazine:

Featuring the 200X Masters of the Universe Buzz-Off, a figure I own because of the above...


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If you thought DC's continuity had problems...

DC continuity is, put charitably, a bit of a snarl right now (if Batman's only been around for five years, how do all three Robins fit in?) but it is a snarl of their own doing. Sometimes, it's easy for a writer or a book to be doing their thing, going merrily along; only to find out later that they're way off. Especially for a licensed book, but sometimes events still match up...from a certain point of view.

Our first example, Star Wars Annual #1, "The Long Hunt" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Mike Vosburg, inks by Steve Leialoha. Luke, Han, Leia and the rest are hunted (as you may have guessed) by the winged Kharys, the Majestrix of Skye; who has a history with both Han...and Luke's father.

During the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi and his two pupils (the term "padawan" wasn't in use yet) freed Skye. Grateful, the people swore their fealty to them; but years later, former pupil Darth Vader returned, invoking their oath and making the planet an Imperial "satrapy." Vader trained Kharys, who was Force-adept but would've been considered too old for the training; and made her Skye's ruler. Years later, a group of Corellian smugglers was captured on Skye, then hunted down as sport: only Han and Katya M'Buele escaped.

Katya is later killed by a smoke demon summoned by Kharys, as she hunts Han down, but the people of Skye believe "the One" will come from offworld to defeat Kharys and free them. Recognizing Luke's lightsaber, they hail him as the One, and Luke does manage to defeat Kharys in an aerial duel. (It's drawn as if Luke electrocutes her, rather than the lightsaber chopping her and her wings to bits; then the bits falling out of the sky...that would've been a sick kill, really.)

The elder of Skye tells Luke about Obi-Wan's visit to their world, and how he and two pupils freed them then. It's implied that one was Luke's father, and the other was Darth Vader. In fact, when Luke asks who the other pupil was, the elder tells him "you wear his saber," rather then telling him, "Hey, that's Vader's saber? You know him? Right piece of work, he was..." Or, you could read it as Obi-Wan, Anakin, and maybe Ahsoka freed Skye; again, from a certain point of view.

But, if the Star Wars comics continuity got dicey with the movies overriding them (and for some years, the comics were considered continuity non grata, apocrypha) those are mere bumps in the road compared to Dark Horse's first Aliens series, renamed Aliens: Outbreak for the trade.

Ten years after the movie Aliens, survivors Hicks and Newt are both a mess: Hicks was badly scarred by an acid burn, and is treated as though he could somehow be infectious; while the now-young woman Newt is institutionalized, suffering with recurring nightmares of the Aliens. The third survivor of their ill-fated expedition is mysteriously unaccounted for...

Offered a chance to go on a mission to the xenomorph's homeworld, Hicks takes it, but also frees Newt before her scheduled lobotomy. Newt falls for one of the Marines, Bueller; but the mission is hijacked by another ship; a mega-corporation who plans on using the Marines as bait to find the next step up in the Aliens' food-chain...(There is a lot of work here on the hypothetical Aliens ecology, but that would assume they evolve naturally, wouldn't it?)

The corporate soldiers tried to use the Marines as facehugger bait, but the facehuggers don't bite; and the soldiers run afoul of other creatures that may or may not be modified xenomorphs. Instead of escaping, the Marines are compelled to go back for their former captors: the Marines, including Bueller, were all synthetic androids. Their programming wouldn't let them leave a human in danger, and Bueller is torn in half; forcing Newt to wonder if their love was real. That's actually a pretty good twist, and works well in-universe.

Events are further complicated by a corporation harvesting an Alien queen's eggs, a cult that believes the Aliens are some kind of savior and starting an outbreak on earth, the arrival of another alien resembling the "space jockey" of the first film...and Alien 3, which revealed that Hicks and Newt were both killed in coldsleep when their escape pod crashes on Fiorina 'Fury' 161. Which would put the kibosh on their further adventures...

So, when Aliens: Outbreak and its sequel Nightmare Asylum were collected in trade; they were "remastered," and colored in the case of Outbreak. Hicks was changed to Wilks, while Newt became Billie; two completely different characters that just happened to have had similiar adventures. Problem solved, right?

...except Ripley returns at the end of Nightmare Asylum, again contradicting Aliens 3. Unless maybe she was a clone, like in Alien Resurrection...but I don't know if it was ever brought up again, since Dark Horse began stories that were in an Aliens universe, but didn't necessarily use characters from the movies. That still left them plenty of toys to play with, and later they would add Predator to the mix, so it worked all right for them. Either way, these two trades are still fun reads, if you're a fan. Aliens: Outbreak has art by Mark A. Nelson, Nightmare Asylum by Den Beauvais; both are written by Mark Verheiden.

I had read them before, but lucked into the trades (a buck a piece!) at a yard sale this weekend, just when I'd been thinking I hadn't seen any comics for sale for ever. Oddly, I found three separate sales with books, two of which had longboxes of DC's old Star Trek...the vast majority of which I had, too. Still, I got a fair pile that we'll see more of later.


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