"Apology."

Although I'll use one at my parents', or the bank, or when I find one unattended; I don't have a Keurig. Partially because I think they're wasteful, but mostly because when I drink coffee I'm probably going to drink an entire pot.

Also, we missed our fourth anniversary of space nonsense with Pool n' Kurt!

When I'm damn good and ready! Actually, we may be coming up on someone who has something to say about their trip, and might be able to do something about it.
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It's kind of like that movie "Passengers," except with Robin, I guess.

Yeah, I didn't see Passengers, but traditionally in sci-fi, if you don't have faster-than-light warp drive or hyperspace or what-have-you, you either have to sleep out a long space trip in hibernation or cold sleep or something, or you've got the generational ship where the original crew members at launch will be long dead and the journey will be completed by their descendants. Today we have the latter, which is usually depressing, even with the addition of Batman and Robin! From 1996, Robin Annual #5, "The Iron Sky" Written by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Staz Johnson, inks by Rob Leigh.

This, like all the 1996 DC annuals, was the Elseworlds themed Legends of the Dead Earth; all set after earth was gone, but the legends and legacies of its heroes continued. I thought I had read more of these, but this one was new to me last week! In a future Gotham, a lowly farmer girl, Tris, is excited to see the outlaw hero Batman fighting the robot sentinels called Jokers; but she attracts the attention of the Proctors. It's obvious early the society has pretty strict classes; and in being scanned as a troublemaker, Tris becomes an outlaw as well, but she embraces the chance to become her own legend. Still, it's nearly a short one, when she runs into a Proctor gunship; but she's saved by Batman. Who takes Tris to see the truth:

Babies were created by artificial incubation, put to work on the farms when they turn nine, then Logan's Run'd when they turn 30. Batman had been a Proctor, but opted out of the "Giving" and learned the truth. "Gotham" had been named after the earth city, but was a "generation ship" that was supposed to take humanity to a new home. That had been the plan, anyway: either the ship was off-course or there was nothing at their destination, and the Proctors either didn't realize or didn't care. But maybe Batman could set the ship on a new course--with a little help.

Batman and Robin fight their way into the Proctors' headquarters, to try and get access to the ship's navigation. (Dixon skips the traditional peasant uprising: they consider it, for about three seconds.) Batman sacrifices himself to get Robin in there, and she manages to get the computers to figure out a new course. And it would only take...another three centuries and change. It's a victory, even if she knows she won't live to see it. In fact, she seems pretty much done with life there, as the next pages show Tris walking into the Giving. (Even though she wouldn't make it to earth, there did seem to be a lot of inequity she could have fought; but may not have had the page count for.) And centuries later, on a beautiful new world, a grandfather tells his bratty grandkids the story, and the legend continues.

That ending was dark for me. Like, if Tris had been gunned down, that would've been more upbeat somehow. I suspect more than a few of these annuals were down endings as well, but I may have to keep an eye out for any that don't look familiar. (EDIT: I had an Elseworlds tag here, but technically these weren't!)

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Sometimes, I wonder what Marvel was like in the 90's, because I'll pick up a cover like this issue's, and all I can think is "cocaine. So much cocaine." This is even the second printing! (EDIT: And I had to reload the cover, since I posted it upside down, but it was tough to see!) From 1992, Fantastic Four #371, "This Flame, This Fury" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by Paul Ryan, inks by Dan Bulanadi.

I've mentioned before, that I never took to DeFalco's run here, or on Thor, because he made the cardinal sin of following Walt Simonson: a tough act to follow, to be sure. He also brought a more old-school serial soap opera style, which meant a lot of plates were spinning at any given time; but it might be a while before they paid off. In fact, I'm not sure if any of these plotlines were wrapped up in the next three months! This month, Reed and Ben are searching for Alicia Masters, kidnapped by the rogue Watcher Aron. Former Ms. Marvel/She-Thing Sharon Ventura is seemingly human again, and working on getting back together with Ben; while also reporting to a Dr. Doom-shaped shadow. Sue and Reed are having a rough patch, as Sue thinks Reed isn't paying her enough attention, even with her more provocative costume. Franklin is becoming more agitated over his parents' fighting, which may be exacerbating his latent powers. And at Empire State University, Johnny plans on quitting the team, since "they just aren't keeping pace with the changing times!" Tough talk, since he's then attacked by Paibok, Devos, and his estranged Skrull wife Lyja!

The trio zaps Johnny around for a while, until on the verge of losing, he goes nova: the bad guys disappear, and Johnny is dismayed at the substantial amount of property damage he's done the university. Which I'm pretty sure would lead to Johnny being on the run for a bit; that plotline wasn't wrapped up right away either.

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"Eyepatch."

I had to ask the Wife which eye Thor lost, since she's watched Thor: Ragnarok about twenty times since it came out; and has even taken my other movie figure for her office! But it'll make a short post for the end of this week, especially since I spent most of yesterday watching the new season of Jessica Jones. Kind of nice that it came out on Thursday, since I usually have it off. Back on Monday!
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Like that Atom issue we saw a while back, this is part of a haul of some binged-up older books: from 1965, Batman #177, featuring "Two Batmen Too Many!" Written by Jack Schiff, art by Sheldon Moldoff; and "The Art Gallery of Rogues!" Written by John Broome, pencils by Sheldon Moldoff (as Bob Kane) and inks by Sid Greene. (Credits from the GCD.)

The cover proclaims "The Prize Puzzler of the Year! 'Two Batmen Too Many!'" That's...overhyped, just a bit. Batman straight gaslights a numbers runner turned jewel thief, with a scam involving a shaman's clay effigies coming to life, one big, one little, both in the image of Batman. To his credit, the thief isn't completely snowed by this, and manages to turn the tables on "Big Batman" and "Little Batman," really the Elongated Man and the Atom! Then Batman and Robin beat the gang up, which seems like they probably could have just done in the first place.

The second story, "The Art Gallery of Rogues!" involves publicity seekers and an art scam, but also includes the Alfred Foundation, since this was from a brief stretch when Alfred was dead! It's also not great. In fact, if I'd had to guess, I would've thought this issue was from ten years earlier. Still, a fun little find, that I didn't mind getting on the cheap.

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"Rager."

What could make the Black Cat cry? In actual fact, probably not much; but here we'll see! Also, if the Thing ever stepped on a dog, I know it was an accident and he felt terrible about it.
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There's been a bit of Legion of Super-Heroes talk lately, mostly to the effect there might not be any Legion of Super-Heroes lately, or rather soon. Rumor has it DC wants to do a relaunch, but it may be on hold until after Doomsday Clock wraps up or Geoff Johns' workload lets him take the book. In the meantime, let's check out an old favorite: from 1985, Legion of Super-Heroes #13, "If You Think Khunds are Cuddly, You'll Love the Lythyls!" Written by Paul Levitz, pencils by Steve Lightle, inks by Larry Mahlstedt. I probably read the reprint first, 1986's Tales of the Legion of Super-Heroes #338.

The issue opens with a couple of Legion traditions: try-outs, and a ton of kids we see in line but never see again! Actually, a couple might appear the next month, when the try-out gets going, but here Blok is asking the hopefuls to be patient, when he receives a message. (Amusingly, the alien lawyer guy can't pick Blok out from other aliens, they all look alike to him...) His pal Timber Wolf has gone to the quarantined planet Lythyl, and will soon be either rich...or dead.

Lythyl appears to have a healthy BDSM community, and while rumors of paradise and riches have spread throughout the galaxy, immigrants to the planet have to sign waivers, since they'll start as slaves and have to fight their way up. Timber Wolf isn't real sold on the idea, but his travelling companion the Sensei points out the planet valued "physical prowess" above all, and T-Wolf was one of the strongest Legionnaires! The Sensei was getting on years, but no slouch himself: he had trained the recently deceased Karate Kid, and his father. The Kid's father had gone bad on Lythyl, and the Sensei had been forced to kill him, leaving the Kid hating Lythyl. They were there for his last request: as T-Wolf explains in his message to Blok, Karate Kid's estate included billions of credits in holdings since he had married Princess Projectra, who's entire world had recently seemingly up and left the universe. Blok takes the message to team leader Element Lad, who sends a quick-response team to get them out...

Meanwhile, T-Wolf and Sensei establish themselves as "wolves amongst sheep" pretty quickly, and are taken to the planet's judges, who include an incongruously young boy, Myg. After a test, Myg takes them on a tour, which briefly points out the "multiverse nexus upon which Lythyl spins," but he cuts that short to challenge the Sensei. His skill even impresses T-Wolf, but after they sucker-punch Myg, the Sensei is the one who elects to take him with them. T-Wolf has to finish Karate Kid's errand, while the Sensei fights most of Lythyl, then arrives in time to save the Sensei as the Legion rescues them, thanks to Invisible Kid. And on the unyielding stones of Lythyl, sacred for their toughness, Timber Wolf planted a seed for his friend.

Myg would return eventually: I thought he would try-out at some point, but he may have gone to the Legion Academy instead. I know he would turn up again, much, much later; as a brainwashed Dominion agent in the "Five Years Later" Legion. Which I nearly stopped reading at one point, because of what they did to Timber Wolf! But that's another comic, for some other time.
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We're not quite to the point of "self-debasement," but I was thinking...

I was thinking about Marvel Legends, and then glanced at this issue and remembered, hey, didn't I get the Blade figure? Along with about sixty-plus others last year, yeah. Some figures got buried in the crowd there, but we'll get back to him. Oh, and today's book: from 1975, Tomb of Dracula #30, "Memories on a Mourning's Night!" Written by Marv Wolfman, pencils by Gene Colan, inks by Tom Palmer. This one's been reprinted multiple times, but we've got a beat-up original today--got the Marvel Value Stamp and everything!

Dracula's in a gloomy mood tonight, after the death of Sheila Whittier: I don't have the previous issue handy, so I'm not sure why he's so broken up about that, but he is. So he opts to stay in and do a bit of "scribing" in his diary. This gives us the opportunity for three short tales, of Dracula failing or coming up short; as he works through those hard times: it would be admirable, if he wasn't a murdering monster, right?

First, a scheming wife tries to make Dracula her murder weapon for her husband, so she can move up to Otto von Bismarck. Next, Dracula takes revenge for a little blind girl, only to find maybe she didn't want it. Finally, the big one: Drac's first meeting with Blade, who wants to join Dracula!? What?

Presenting himself as wanting to get on the winning team before vampires wipe out humanity, he brings Dracula to meet his team--and jump him! They actually do pretty well, although Dracula's handmaidens show to help revive him later, and most of team Blade would be dead before long.

I was nattering on about Blade on Twitter the other week, since some wrong-minded soul tried to say Spawn was a better movie than Blade: come on, son. It's not even a better movie than Blade II. But Blade's never been able to carry his own comic for very long, so I wonder why Marvel hasn't trotted out Tomb of Dracula again lately? Well, it might be all right, since I hate, hate, hate the current Marvel design for him. And, if I've never mentioned it; no offense to Wesley Snipes, but I'd love to see a Blade reboot, set in the 70's! Wooden knives, funky green night-vision goggles, so much funk...
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Join the Avengers, they said. It'll be fun, they said. Feh!

Admittedly, the team didn't have Cap or Thor at the moment, and Iron Man was using a virtual antique of a suit, but still. On to the second part of "Cat Trap," from 2000, Black Panther #23, "More of that Business with the Avengers" Written by (Christopher) Priest, pencils by Sal Velluto, inks by Bob Almond.

After capturing (mostly off-panel) Deadpool, Titania, and Constrictor; the Avengers were on their way to Wakanda, with current Black Panther Erik Killmonger, to recover the kidnapped Avenger Triathlon and Killmonger's emotional support leopard Preyy. The Wakandan air force is not thrilled about having their airspace invaded, and while the Avengers want to talk it out, Killmonger angrily tells them that's the wrong tactic: this was his turf.

Meanwhile, Triathlon and Preyy are guests of the Reverend Michael Ibn Al-Hajj Achebe and his puppet Daki, who has brought them to Wakanda for the same reason he now brings Deadpool there: to stir up trouble. (Constrictor and Titania are none too thrilled with Pool at being left behind...!) Pool wants his cash and his puppet, but Achebe placates him with a new costume and "a little errand." First, Pool does have a brief conversation with Triathlon, who realizes Pool is missing something in his life, but was also basically a Scientologist so maybe don't take advice from him.

The Avengers and Killmonger want to see T'Challa, who was still recovering from his injuries deep in the techno-jungle beneath Wakanda, where the signal from Preyy's tracker now leads them. Although previously T'Challa had said this would be the real fight, he sits this one out, letting his Hatut Zeraze secret police (who look like white Panthers) defend the techno-jungle. Killmonger had apparently honestly wanted to be an Avenger, to bridge his worlds of America and Wakanda, but is just left frustrated with a team he sees as by-and-large useless and honorless: facing Pool in single combat, he's angered when they try to help. Pool and Killmonger scuffle for a bit, but the fight peters out when they're expelled from the techno-jungle: Pool wasn't going to kill him, and Killmonger realizes his plans were impeding Achebe's, who may have wanted T'Challa back in power for his own reasons. Pool suggests that maybe neither of them can change, even when they try; but Killmonger probably doesn't believe his "secret to life":

Pool teleports out, and Triathlon is recovered after a conversation with an unseen T'Challa, so the Avengers at least know he's alive. Killmonger wants nothing more to do with the "gutless" Avengers, but Everett Ross, current regent of the throne of Wakanda, surreptitiously asks if he can catch a ride back to America, only to be told his citizenship had been revoked by the State Department! And still in the techno-jungle, T'Challa finds two of his Hatut Zeraze dead, killed by Killmonger's girl Malice...!

A lot happens at the end there, but we don't see Preyy back with Killmonger! There may be a reason for that, and I don't like it. I really need to re-read the rest of these, since Killmonger's plotline would go on, on-and-off, for over a year, before he was killed by someone I wouldn't have expected! He's come back before, though; he may be due again. Achebe was created by Priest, and he describes the character as "the Joker to the Panther's Batman," but I'm not sure if any other writers have used him. I don't think he ever paid Deadpool either, so Pool comes away with nothing, which is a not-entirely-uncommon outcome for him.


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Here's a recent oddity from the quarter bins: from 1973, (Beware! The Claws of...) The Cat #3, "From Far Beneath the Mirror of the Moon!" Written by Linda Fite, layouts by Paty Greer, inks by Bill Everett.

The costume looks like Hellcat, but it would be a few years before it would be given to Patsy Walker: here it's worn by Greer Nelson, who we know better as Tigra! She was still the better part of a year away from becoming a cat-woman, although it wouldn't be in this title; the next issue was the last. Here, she still had some powers like enhanced senses; as when she picks up a "mysterious, sonar-type signal" while scuba diving for fun in Lake Michigan. Returning as the Cat to investigate, she finds a mysterious undersea dome, which may be a secret government project, but could be the next lair of this issue's villain, Sub-Mariner bad guy Commander Kraken!

Yeah, I only know him as one of the several villains killed by the Scourge in the massacre at the Bar with No Name in Captain America #319. The Cat helps stop Kraken, although he would escape; and feels pretty good about herself...until the dome takes off into space, since it had really been manned by aliens! Hey, that was just the sort of thing that happened back then. Call it a wash.
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