I don't know if I didn't not like the book, as much as I didn't like what it says about us...

I got this on the cheap, but I'd best not refer to it as a steal: from 2019, Shoplifters Will Be Liquidated #1, "Workplace Injury" Written by Patrick Kindlon, art by Stefano Simeone.

It's an intriguing set-up: the story opens at the Caucasus SuperStore "Flagship Retail Location and Home Office," a massive combination of Amazon, Wal-Mart, and the sanctified virtues of late-stage capitalism. Loss prevention employee Nussbaum is our primary antagonist, protecting the store with a zealot's brutality: his supervisor chastises him for "false-postitives" and bad optics, but Nussbaum defends his record and argues a fatality rate of less than one percent is pretty good. It's more of a rebuke than any serious trouble, and his instincts for spotting shoplifters are strong. Still, his day takes a turn when the company president, Provo, visits the sporting goods section, intent on getting a gun and killing himself after a break-up. With Provo's assistant's urging, Nussbaum knocks out Provo; which leaves him wondering if his job was in jeopardy: tailing a shoplifter, Nussbaum confesses he's a "company man" and a bit emotional. But, he falls through a secret trapdoor, discovering a massive cavern of cities underneath the store. This is not met charitably by Nussbaum.

There is probably more than a bit of Judge Dredd in the DNA here: although he is occasionally sympathetic, Nussbaum is far from heroic; and the dystopia is less apocalyptic and more corporate. A subplot through the rest of the series is two executives plotting to use Provo's instability to short-sell the stock and make billions; while Provo himself turns his suicidal tendencies into a new product line selling the "right to die." Beneath the store, there are various factions that may not all get along, but seem to be living relatively peaceably until Nussbaum shows up: he sees them all as parasites, and as such is at best not overly concerned for their well-being. He's a true believer in his store, which makes him dangerous as all get out. Still, I didn't like even the likeable characters in this one, which may have been by design: even in completely checking out of capitalism, you are still affected by capitalism, aren't you? 

Still, worth a read. Aftershock has been doing some fun stuff; I need to get the trade for The Man Who F#%&ed Up Time...

Read more!

Forget Wertham or the Code, comic books' biggest Nemesis is proper sequential numbering...

About a year or so back we looked at Quality's Spellbinders #1 reprint book featured "The Gothic Empire" and didn't start with his first appearance. So I was scratching my head why this one started with the first appearance, but duh, it's an earlier reprint from Eagle Comics: from 1984, Nemesis the Warlock #1, featuring "The Terror Tube" Written by Pat Mills, art by Kev (Kevin) O'Neill. Originally presented in 1980's 2000 AD and Tornado #167, which also featured Sam Slade, the Stainless Steel Rat, and Judge Dredd in the middle of the "Judge Child" storyline.

I know Dredd's stories also had nightmarish highways, but I couldn't say if they appeared before these. Then again, the underground travel tubes of the planet "Termight" are an even more nightmarish police state, overseen by "your friendly guardian of law and order," the masked Torquemada. "Be pure! Be vigilant! Behave!" The name's a pretty big red flag, yeah. And unlike Dredd, the fascist cops aren't the good guys here: instead, we have the mysterious Nemesis, head of the resistance group "Credo." While he's behind the wheel of his craft, the Blitzspear; we don't actually see Nemesis in his first episode! Conversely, we see a lot of Torquemada and what would be a recurring pattern for him: going after Nemesis, throwing underlings and bystanders under the bus (figuratively, probably occasionally literally) to save his own neck, then getting killed anyway in a manner esoteric enough for him to almost immediately return the next chapter, often at the expense of any of his underlings who maybe thought they could move up the ladder.

The next chapter establishes the seat of Torquemada's power and Nemesis's rebellion against it: "Termight" was once earth, allegedly nearly destroyed by aliens. That seems dubious, like they were being scapegoated; but humanity had rebuilt itself into a vast, and cruel, galactic empire; intent on exterminating aliens everywhere. Nemesis, of course, is an alien; possessed of strange and unearthly powers. And goals, for that matter: eventually I think the series presented him as not as bad as Torquemada, but not necessarily what we would consider 'good' either. He does have the traditional green and purple color scheme of a lot of villains--and the Hulk. Nemesis isn't my favorite 2000 AD feature, but still worth reading. 

Oddly, I think I bought this issue and a bunch of other Mills/O'Neill stuff together, namely several issues of Marshal Law. Who also isn't traditionally heroic either, but is also great!

Read more!

Faux-Stranger Danger! Space girlfriend relationship trouble! And Definitely-Legally-Distinct-From-Lobo!

Oh, god, I don't have a good feeling about this one: from 1995, Cosmic Powers Unlimited #3, featuring "God Help the Mister -- That Comes Between Me and My Sister" Written by Michael Gallagher and Gregory Wright, art by Sandu Florea, and John Buscema and Geof Isherwood; and "Cutting a Deal!" Written by Lovern Kindzierski, pencils by Daerick Gross, inks by Jim Royal and Chad Hunt. That first title was so bad I think my eyes didn't let me see it at first...

The bones for this one were laid around 1993, when Jack of Hearts visited the Silver Surfer, and got a much-less-distinctive/far-easier-to-draw costume then shacked up with space warrior nun-type Ganymede. Ganymede had thought she was the last of the Spinsterhood, an order of warriors dedicated to destroying the cosmic menace Tyrant; but she and Jack are surprised by the sudden arrival of another, Persephone. She feels like Gany has been slacking off, and should have no time for love; and has a new ally against Tyrant: the Stranger Jakar! Creepy Stranger lookalike/rival. With a cast of Tyrant's hand made from the imprint in his victims, Jakar wants to break into his vault and steal some doo-dads. Without any permission, he uses Jack as a distraction, leaving him to fight Tyrant's Autobots (hey!) while the Spinsters get the thingus. At which point, Jakar ditches them! Then Ganymede ditches Jack, since she can't leave her mission against Tyrant, and a furious Jack takes off to kick Tyrant's ass himself.

And we should take an intermission between the first and second parts, so you can go find Silver Surfer #109. No rush. Tyrant and Morg were seemingly slain there (or at least sucked into a hole or something) so now Jack thinks he could maybe have another shot with Ganymede. The Surfer is more concerned about that sketchy Jakar, and they go take away the "globe of knowledge" he had taken, which the Surfer destroys, even though Jack thinks he could've used it to find his girl. As is often the case, the Surfer is somewhat emotionless, while Jack storms off in a huff. Jack wouldn't appear the next two issues of this series, and this might've been the last appearance of Ganymede to date. Maybe Jack never found her again. Weird that she doesn't seem to have appeared in the background in a Guardians of the Galaxy book or anything.

Also this issue: Lunatik and his mouthy sidekick Skreet shop for a new ride. Instead of a smancy space hog-cycle like Lobo, he's taken with a "pan-galactic dog sled": we saw the 'dogs' with Quicksilver, years back! Lunatik is pleased with himself for beating a good price out of the sales manager, but Skreet points out he only bought the sled, she won the 'dogs' playing cards. Which the dogs were also playing. Did they lose themselves? Ah, I'm giving this too much thought. Read more!

As sometimes happens around here, we saw the next issue like nine years back; but today we have from 1988, Thor #392, "Quicksand Kills!" Written by Tom DeFalco, breakdowns by Ron Frenz, finishes by Al Milgrom.

With Asgard under siege and the Rainbow Bridge destroyed, the only way to get to earth is apparently shot out of a cannon: Hogun the Grim lands in Central Park and lands hard. Concussed, he sees the cops as demons (well...) cowards with unmanly weapons (that's a little...well...) and a Plymouth as an armored chariot (okay, that one's way off) before Daredevil arrives to give him the what-for. Meanwhile, in his secret identity of Sigurd Jarlson, Thor visits his construction worker pal Jerry Sapristi. (His identity wasn't that secret: Jerry knew there was something else to Sigurd, while his kids had figured out he was Thor.) With their current job a bit wrecked by a Thor/Spidey/Mongoose fight the previous issue, Jerry thought he maybe had a new job lined up with architect Eric Masterson. Eric had been injured earlier, and while he had a doting assistant and lively son, Thor still has a sense that pain and anguish was in his future. I don't think Thor had that kind of insight very often, but we know why, so all right.

Jerry and Sigurd go with Eric to a nuclear power plant, since Eric was going to bid for the contract on building an office building there. There's a brief moment with his flirty rival Jackie Lukus, before the plant is attacked by Quicksand! While a bystander calls her a "mutie freak," she had been altered in a nuclear accident, and seemingly wanted revenge on nuclear reactors? That seems like it would just make more sand people. Thor throws down with her, not once comparing her to Sandman--wait, had he ever faced Sandman? I flipped through covers going back to Journey Into Mystery, but one didn't jump out. I was momentarily certain there was one with Sandy in his green Frightful Four outfit. Threatening Eric and Jackie, Quicksand is able to get a momentary advantage over Thor, blasting sand down his throat! Is this the end of--wait, we saw the next issue already, sorry. Read more!

"Damn."

Was Shiklah taken out too quickly? Well, she's not one to trifle with, nor is Satana going to be interested in giving her a chance to talk her way out of it, or start a big fight. Also, I'd argue "not sticking the landing" is an important part of any crossover event! I can't think of any with a good ending, and not just because I'm trying to cover my ass...I'm joking, there has to be some good ones; statistically speaking it'd be impossible for them all to tank.

I wanted to create an effect, similar to one Jim Starlin used in an issue of Dreadstar ("and Company," I read the reprint version) where the wizard Syzygy Darklock seemingly banishes a foe to some hell, possibly with tentacles or hands dragging him down. BTW, I really enjoyed those reprints, but especially that issue: Starlin can be surprisingly funny at times.

Read more!

We had previously seen the Doom/Rancor subplot seemingly conclude, but I'm a little dismayed to see it had been in play for over seven issues. Well, maybe there's more in today's book: from 1993, Guardians of the Galaxy #32, "We Who Are About to Die Salute You" Written by Michael Gallagher, pencils by Kevin West, inks by Steve Montano.

This issue opens with the fight from the previous one's cover, with Nikki vs. Charlie-27: the Guardians present, namely them and Talon, had agreed to face a champion of the Badoon to settle things gladiator-style. Both gung-ho for vengeance, they were willing to smack each other down for a shot at their hated foe. Charlie accidentally knocks out Talon, and is getting madder and madder as Nikki hits him with a succession of cheap shots, culminating in a burst of flames to his face! I don't know that she was always able to do that, if I remember my OHOTMU: sometimes it claimed Nikki's hair was just done in a style to resemble flames, other times it may have been a temperature-regulating function of humans genetically altered to survive on Mercury. It works today, anyway.

Meanwhile, after a seedy torture scene with people I don't recognize, Doctor Doom explains his master brainwashing plan to Rancor and her mutants, by brainwashing them. And in the 20th century, Major Victory (aka Vance Astro) and Captain America are visiting Doctor Strange: the Major needs the Doctor's assistance to return to his team. The trip would involve going through the Dark Dimension, and as such be mind-numbingly dangerous, so it's a no from Strange until the Major calls him "ancient one." You wouldn't think that would motivate him to help, but Strange sees in the Major's future he was as the Ancient One had been to him.

While they make the trippy trip, Charlie-27 arrives in the Badoon arena, now bald from Nikki's fire attack. He had left Talon and Nikki tied up so they couldn't interfere, but they can't help when they see his opponent: a Badoon with the power of Captain Universe! Nikki realizes that's why they wanted a one-on-one fight, as Charlie starts to get beat down. He's no match for cosmic power, but can take a lot of hits. A shadowy figure zaps Talon and Nikki, as the Major and Strange push past the Mindless Ones, to arrive as Captain Badoon Universe is about to deliver the killing blow...! So, this issue ends with the scene from the cover! Maybe next month they would be caught back up. It feels like things were moving quickly here, which still makes it weird that the Doom/Rancor thing ran so long. Read more!

Hopefully, he can't sense what Bullseye is doing at any given time. Gross.

Every so often, we have to blog a comic, to keep me from buying a copy every time I randomly come across one! Like today's book: from 1983, Daredevil #199, "Daughter of a Dark Wind" Written by Denny O'Neil, pencils by William Johnson, inks by Danny Bulanadi.

The combination of an earthquake and a head injury is probably ruining Daredevil's visit to Japan, but he has other problems: the return of Bullseye, for one. Dark Wind has overseen Bullseye's surgery, repairing a spinal injury, replacing some of his bones with adamantium--I don't think it's referred to as such here, possibly because Bullseye dismissively interrupts him to ask what he wants. Dark Wind is an ultranationalist, who disapproves of Japan's current businesslike ways, and wants a trade minister iced as an example; which even Bullseye considers nuts. Bullseye has also picked up a psychic link with DD, with both of them aware the other is near.

Meanwhile, Daredevil is getting closer, accompanied by Yuriko, Dark Wind's daughter. Scarred and abused, she hates her father, but makes Matt promise not to hurt Kira, her lover. Even though she and Matt had slept together the night before! That was just a one-time thing. Kira believes in Dark Wind, even though he's treated like a particularly incompetent baby, and given the job of rowing Bullseye to the mainland. Bullseye tells Kira, since he's not getting paid for killing any trade minister, he's not going to be killing any trade minister: he's not a grateful sort. Kira unwisely tries to kill him, and gets bottled and thrown overboard, leaving a grumbling Bullseye to row himself.

DD would probably be able to walk all over Dark Wind's samurai-wannabe men; if not for another earthquake throwing him off. A collapsing roof pins him, as Dark Wind comes for his head, until Yuriko stabs him. She then arranges Daredevil's boat, correcting him when he suggests she needs to mourn her father. Kira lurches out of the ocean, crying over failing his master, as Yuriko tries to comfort him. But this wouldn't be the last we'd see of her, although she would have a bit of work done: she would next appear in Alpha Flight #33 as Lady Deathstrike! Then the X-books would grab her and never let her go. I wonder if she kept that idiot boyfriend, though: he seems like the type to throw himself on his sword the moment she wasn't there to stop him. And Matt wouldn't have to wait to catch up to Bullseye, they would face off in the regular-sized next issue.

Read more!

Today, Batman interrupts "Breakfast at Tiffany's." Dick!

Wait, maybe that actually was Dick. I thought this might've been the last storyline of the series before Flashpoint and the New 52: it might've been nice if there had been a big send-off like "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" but I don't think editorial wasn't that organized, or the push was for the new series, or a big closer might've been seen as a jumping-off point. Whatever, we've got 2011's Batman #710, "Pieces, part one: Lost" Written by Tony S. Daniel, pencils by Steve Scott, inks by Ryan Winn.

A somewhat despondent Two-Face tortures some mobsters to death, then in passing shoots a cop in the head, since he's lost his trademark coin. You'd think killing a cop would catch more heat--in fact, at one point they suggest the cop might survive, but based on the art, nooooo--but Batman and Gordon both act like it's another day at the office. Somewhat uncharactistically, Bats is caught on camera casually leaving the crime scene with Jim (probably because it's Dick, not Bruce) as a grinning congressman is holding a press conference in front of it, to push for taking back the streets, by increasing surveillance. In the real world he'd just be an opportunistic douche looking to score some political clout; but there's probably something more horrible to him. Meanwhile, Mario Falcone--apparently the lesser-known son of the recurring crime family--sees the news and is pissed that Two-Face would try to intimidate him. A shapely, shadowy figure suggests maybe taking care of him her way...

Later, Batman interrupts Kitrina Falcone's movie, to tell the girl she has to get out of Gotham; and Catwoman agrees. They're not her real parents! She storms off, which seems pretty obvious, even if I'm not sure why they were looking after her. At a ratty hideout, Two-Face is awoken by a phone, then a note with a picture of his coin, that leads him to an elaborate trap where he's gassed. It seems a little high-end for Mario: even tied up and kicked, Two-Face isn't impressed by him. But he's surprised by the shapely, shadowy figure--his wife, Gilda! Who puts four slugs into him. "Happy anniversary, Harvey."

Is this the end of Two-Face? Seems unlikely, but he may want to look into counselling.

Read more!

Completely unseasonal Hodge and the Podge.

1. I accidentally turned on my local news--in my defense, I thought a game was on--and learned traffic was clogged by people camping out and lining up for crappy chicken sandwiches that you could probably make at home and not support a homophobic chain. I know times are tough, and maybe I shouldn't begrudge people their fun, but...they don't deserve the support, and it's a massive waste of time. I think I may have to go literally anywhere else tomorrow.

2. Of course, I didn't even notice them putting in that restaurant I won't name when I was in that neighborhood at Target the other day; picking up the new Cyborg Spider-Man and Negative Zone Spider-Man! They're both pretty neat, although the Negative (Dog's Eye-View) Spidey is missing a key accessory: while he comes with multiple hands and a negative slice of pizza, he doesn't get the partially unmasked head to eat it! Cyborg gets a webline, but really needed a donut: in the issue where he gets the metallic cast, it's free donuts that convinces Spidey this is a good government agency.

3. I didn't do any Black Friday-type shopping this year; but I didn't really need to, since a lot of stores have spread it out over the course of the month. At Wal-Mart I was able to pick up a pile of movies on the cheap, and we once again see what I'm willing to pay cash money for if I didn't see it in the theatres. Starting with Joker, and...eh. I may be coming down hard on that one since I managed to avoid spoilers until the day I watched it, when some slackjawed incel posted the scene with De Niro as a reply and completely missed the point that the Joker was the bad guy. De Niro as much as calls him a crybaby drama queen, which admittedly seems to be how he's often portrayed nowadays. I liked Birds of Prey better, even though it's so much Harley Quinn's movie that it didn't really need the others. I would've preferred more of just random Gothamites coming after her to settle their grudges: they did not like her! Also, blowing up Axis Chemicals is a big statement, but probably would've poisoned the eastern seaboard...Along with those, I picked up the first season of Doom Patrol and Watchmen, the last couple Spider-Man movies, Doctor Sleep, a season and change of Doctor Who, Bumblebee...and yet, all I seem to watch is reruns of MST3K and Ultraman. Well, sooner or later.

4. I can't believe I hesitated picking up these guys: Boss Fight Studio's Sam and Max! Because they are smaller runs, they're a bit more expensive than a Marvel Legends, but they're nicely done and come with a satisfying amount of extras. Is it weird that they're sold separately? I simply can't see someone buying one and not the other.

5. Alex Ross has done a ton of Timeless variant portrait covers the last couple of months. The only one I intended to buy was the Nightcrawler one, which was on Excalibur #13, in the middle of the X of Swords event, and...man, that was not for me. Betsy, the former Psylocke and current Captain Britain, is jobbed out by the undefeatable...whoever. The other issues of that I've flipped through have been the Apocalypse Show, and no thanks. Still, I did pick up some other Ross covers, which got me the last couple issues of Avengers with Moon Knight and Khonshu vs. the team; a pretty solid Daredevil; and an okay Fantastic Four. That I picked up with the Thing cover; you would've had to buy the same issue four times to get the whole team! Scam. Othen than that, I got the recent Giant-Size X-Men: Tribute to Wein & Cockrum, with a ton of artists redrawing Giant-Size X-Men #1. Hmm, I got the Cockrum cover; I might have to scan that later.

5. Hopefully he's got it by now: I sent the Master of the Mystic Smarts, PTor, a Doctor Strange themed spinner rack! Let's put the template here:

These are usually a lot of fun to put together; this time with a ton of the good doctor's guest-spots.

6. Between COVID and the weather, I'm not sure if I'm going back to Montana this Christmas. That would kind of suck, but it might free my folks up from having to spend the next month up there. Ah, we'll see.

Read more!

"Voted."

I checked for a bit, but I absolutely did not have a good ice effect for poor Blizzard! But, at least he finally got a line, so yay him?

And of course, Tombstone gets Kurt's reference to "Bart Sells His Soul," one of my favorite Simpsons episodes even if I'm a godless heathen. Tombstone didn't have any lines originally, he was just in the pile of villains I grabbed, but I think it works for him. I know he's generally pretty bad, but he's good with his daughter, genuinely encouraging? In an evil way, sure, but okay.

. Read more!

I thought radon was the invisible enemy. Maybe he spends the issue shooting at it.

Although, if radon turned into a tiger before killing you, I guess I can see why I need to put fresh batteries in the detector. From 1974, Weird War Tales #24, featuring "The Invisible Enemy" Written by Jack Oleck, art by Ernie Chua (Chan); and "The Last Battle" Written by Jack Oleck, art by Alex Niño.

The lead story features a Nazi oberlieutnant rescued ten years after the war ended, from being trapped inside a fortified supply depot during the war's final days. The workers that dug him out feel pity for the bedraggled lunatic, but might be less sympathetic if they knew his history: he had committed a ton of atrocities, including the murder of prisoners; one of whom gives him the gypsy curse that "as you kill under the sign of the tiger, so one day a tiger will kill you!" That curse bothers him, so when the German advance finally collapses and he is forced to retreat to Berlin, he's glad to have the job of guarding a supply depot, even when it's bombed and he and his troops are trapped inside: he's got food, water, air vents, he's safer inside! Even if he does have to kill the rest of his men. Still, despite his glee at surviving the war, he still has a freakout and imagines the workmen as tigers. Taking a bad spill at the zoo, he is killed by the statue of a tiger, as the workmen scratch their heads. The narrator Death explains he was killed by "conscience," I misread that first as "coincidence," which kind of makes sense.

The second feature, "The Last Battle" is better: in 2080, having crushed all his enemies, a dictator has the whole planet under his rule, and schemes to keep it. Although he seems to be doing a good job of quashing little revolts when they pop up, he wants the people to want him, and the only way to do that is give them another enemy. Why not Mars? His generals point out it's a dead rock, but that just means it won't fight back! A little propaganda--what we'd now call 'fake news'--and the people are clamoring for the leader to save them from the Martian foe. It goes over great, until it's time to bomb Mars flat, and maybe the leader should've declared war on Venus instead.

Read more!