Eventually, I realized the Defenders fight each other pretty much every issue.

I actually had to go back and check that I hadn't blogged this one before: from 1983, Defenders #119, "Ashes, Ashes...We All Fall Down!" Written by Steven Grant (with an assist by J.M. DeMatteis), pencils by Sal Buscema, inks by Jack Abel. (And a pretty good cover by Ron Wilson and Terry Austin.)

I don't think it was, but this reads a lot like a fill-in issue with an odd framing device: the story was set about fifty issues ago, around #68. But the framing device acknowledges the recent death of Nighthawk, as perennial oddball the Elf with a Gun has kidnapped Nighthawk's former nurse, Luann Bloom, and brought her before a mysterious shadowy council. There, Luann is revealed to have been a robot, which is a revelation to her as well: she didn't know, which may have been a malfunction. (I've had this issue for years, and don't necessarily recall the previous ones, but I don't know if Luann's condition had been foreshadowed in any way, or if this was out of left field.) Having surveilled Nighthawk and the other Defenders for some time, Luann holographically shows the council a story Nighthawk had told her, about an encounter with another long-time Defenders villain, Yandroth.


Who was a woman now, as opposed to the older bald guy he had been before. Using the alien super-science Yandroth was known for, she attacks the Hulk, and is about to be pulped when she gets him with a microscopic implant shot into the Hulk's brain, and takes control of him. Meanwhile, at the Defenders' HQ (really Nighthawk's ranch) Nighthawk is getting thrown off a horse--in full costume!--while Hellcat and Valkyrie have a bit of a laugh. Yandroth surprises Nighthawk and Hellcat, taking control of Nighthawk quickly. When Valkyrie tries to help, Yandroth slaps her down; since Valkyrie explains the spell that created her won't let her fight a woman. With four Defenders her slaves, Yandroth sends the Hulk to Doctor Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum, where Strange gets sucker-punched and goes down, and Yandroth enslaves Clea as well.


Yandroth recaps her new origin for Strange: the consciousness of the original Yandroth approached a young scientist, working menial tasks at a lab, and offered her his knowledge in exchange for the chance to get revenge on the Defenders. Instead, she took control, taking Yandroth's name, costume, and science; just as she injects her implant into Dr. Strange. Still, Strange had been able to project his astral form, and summon back-up: Namor, the Sub-Mariner! Who is able to outfight a sluggish Hulk, but is then almost immediately possessed by Yandroth. Strange's spells can't penetrate Yandroth's mental shields, and anyone else he might call would get possessed as well, so Strange tries helping Valkyrie and the Hulk break the control. As the Defenders fight their possessed friends, Strange realizes, after trapping Nighthawk and Hellcat in the Sphere of Cyttorak, that Yandroth is stronger with half her slaves. He gambles on releasing them, that Yandroth has over-extended herself, and Strange is right. Partially because the female Yandroth was fighting the mind of the original as well, and she is left a seemingly mindless shell.

The shadowy council and the Elf don't think that episode was particularly enlightening, since Yandroth doesn't seem like he/she would be any help now, but they can't leave any resources untapped. Especially since they claim "The Defenders must be destroyed--or time itself will die!" Which may or may not have been true: in a Defenders reunion years later in Peter David's Incredible Hulk run, Strange would reveal whatever that was about, it was an elaborate hoax. Though he allowed the team to stay broken up, since he had come to enjoy the peace and quiet.

This issue has a Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation, with 10C. Total Paid Circulation: Average no. copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 139,926. Actual no. copies of single issue published nearest to filing date: 139,858.

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Named after a Roxette song. He must be a badass!

I've been in training classes for the last couple weeks, which has cut into blogging time a bit; but I was asleep at the wheel yesterday when we discussed Overdrive from the Superior Foes of Spider-Man. I was going to bring up another car-controlling super-villain, that appeared first! And maybe only once. But still.


From 1994, Static #16, "Goin' South (What are Little Boys Made Of? Part 1)" Written by Robert L. Washington III, pencils by Wilfred (Santiago), inks by Rober Quijano. Image ganked from the GCD!

Going off memory since I have yet to find this issue in my garage for scans, Joyride was a car thief that was all but unstoppable behind the wheel; even able to drive up walls. Static challenges him to a drag race, that he loses. Badly. Like, way worse than he had even planned. To rub the hero's nose in it, Joyride goes to help himself to Static's borrowed car, but outside the car Static has him: he realized Joyride's powers only worked when he was in a vehicle, and later tells the police not to put him in a van, to walk him into custody.

I don't know if Joyride appeared again--in a Spider-Man comic, the cops would forget, or not believe the warning, and Joyride would escape in a snap. Somehow, doofy teenager Static comes off as more trustworthy than the full-masked Spidey, I think.
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"Sinister Four."

Considering how long it took to get three members of the Doom Patrol, it's impressive that we've got most of the Superior Foes of Spider-Man, considering their comic was cancelled over a year ago. (I do wish I had the old Shocker.) Right now we're short Overdrive, but he's a bit of a long shot: he's a relatively new villain, and somewhat nondescript. His Wikipedia entry even calls him "something of a throwaway joke character." Overdrive usually appears in a helmet and racing gear, and somewhat resembles an evil(er) version of Top Gear's the Stig. That may or may not be intentional; since Overdrive's powers are to transform any vehicle he's in to a super-powered one.

I don't remember much of Overdrive in the issues of Superior Foes that I've read, but I'm pretty sure he's the nicest one of the lot. In fact, Overdrive's career plan was to have a brief life of crime, then reform so he could join the Avengers. Hey, it worked for Hawkeye. And the Black Widow. And Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch. And several others...it's not as bad a plan as I had thought, really.
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"Misty."

That damn file again! Originally it was just a Macguffin, but I finally figured out what was in it a couple of weeks ago. But the rate I'm going, it'll be a couple of months before we see...

Some people reported their Misty Knight figures had, well, their eyes painted somewhat wall-eyed, if not as OAFE put it, 'herpity derp.' I didn't think the one I got came out too bad, but you be the judge. Here we're writing Misty as ridiculously competent and perpetually annoyed, a private detective with a brutal backlog of cases she can't let slide; partially because she wants to help people, and partially because she enjoys delivering ass-whuppings. She'll be back, but not for a bit.

Oh, and the backdrop this time is from an Entertainment Earth package I got a couple of months ago.
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Back when airport security was lax, photographers weren't all scummy, and secret identities were sacred.

From 1985, Amazing Spider-Man #262, "Trade Secret" Script, pencils and inks by Bob Layton, additional inks by Carlos Garzon. This issue is probably better known for the photo cover from Eliot R. Brown than the content, but let's check out the latter!

Spidey is swinging out to Newark International Airport, since Peter picked up a freelance assignment: to get pictures of Reagan coming off Air Force One. But he's not the only photographer out there, and one catches Spidey changing in a baggage room! The photographer in question, D.J. Jones, is more indicative of what's now considered paparazzi: a sleazy thief with no morals, willing to do anything for the shot, as indicated when he drives a baggage cart at a bus in his escape from Spidey. While Peter gets Jones' info from Ben Urich, Jones tries selling the negatives to the mob, which decides to just take them.

Forced by his sense of responsibility to save Jones, Spidey lays it on thick, with a little more theatrical "vengeance" routine. (Think young Tobey Maguire trying to do Christian Bale's growly Batman voice.) Jones coughs up the negatives, and figures he'll have to leave town before the mobsters get out on bail, but how hard could it be to find...one nondescript guy's face? Yeah, pretty hard. It never really looks like Jones got a good look at Peter anyway, but this issue gets a story out of that, where a more modern comic may have just assumed the hero wouldn't be identified.
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"Race of the Century!"

I don't think the current Hyperion was ever a teammate of Speed Demon, or even the Whizzer. But I think the Hyperion that appears first in the comics, along with Speed Demon as the Whizzer, and the Nighthawk that was in the Defenders for ever; were all part of the Squadron Sinister, which was more or less put together by the Grandmaster so he'd have a team to field against the Avengers. (Their fourth member was Dr. Spectrum, who has appeared a few times over the years, but not as much.) Later, it's revealed that the Grandmaster had taken inspiration from the other-dimensional Squadron Supreme...and not the Justice League of America, as you might have guessed. Man, Grandmaster didn't even change the names, but I suppose a cosmic gambling addict wouldn't care about trademarks.

Anyway, an Avenger like Hawkeye would probably point out that whether Squadron Supreme or Squadron Sinister, he's probably going to end up fighting them either way. I don't think Hyperion is usually the lout we portray him as here, but Speed Demon is probably a million times worse.

CLARK: This is Clark Kent, reporting live for WGBS News, on the scene...sigh...

CLARK: ...once again, with Hyperion.
HYPE: By the undying zombie gods of Argon, it's pronounced HYPERION!! Kent, you are the worst hype man, EVER.

CLARK: Um, I'm not a "hype man."
HYPE: Pfft. Obviously. Fortunately for the citizens of Metropolis, I can do your job and mine.
CLARK: ...what "job," is that, exactly? All I've ever seen you do is start riots and trash-talk this universe...

HYPE: Indeed! Because this universe has never seen a sporting event to rival tomorrow's contest!
CLARK: The Thing is going to box the Champion?
HYPE: What? No! Tomorrow, we settle the age-old question, who is faster, myself, the nigh-omnipotent HYPERION!

CLARK: Or the Flash?
HYPE: That slugard? Hardly! I'll be racing the searing speed of my teammate in the Squadron Supreme,
SPEED DEMON: SPEEEEEEED DEMON! Whoo!

HYPE: You've changed your name?
SD: Yeah, apparently "Whizzer" has a different connotation in this universe.
HYPE: No, it's the same. Still, Speed Demon's nice, I like it.
KENT: Now wait a minute! "Speed Demon" there is a known super-villain! He's a menace! And he's nowhere near as fast as the Flash!

SD: Ah, that may have been true before, but I've accessed the power your speedsters use--and I was far faster than them to begin with!
KENT: You mean, you've tapped into the Speed Force?

SD: Um, not that one.
KENT: Velocity 9?
SD: Not quite.
KENT: Meth?
SD: That's the one!
KENT: Of course.

HYPERION: Tomorrow, SPEED DEMON--
SD: Love it.
HYPE: --And I will race around the globe, to raise money for charity.
KENT: Well, I can't argue with that! What charities?

HYPE: I'm racing for my charity, HYPERION'S Punch-Buddies!
KENT: ...what?
HYPE: I raise money--by hitting! Your donations decide what I hit--and how hard!

KENT: Wait, why does your charity for hitting need money--you know what? Never mind. Speed Demon, what's your charity?
SD: The "Touched by a Demon" Foundation.

KENT: ...I already know I'm going to regret asking, but go ahead.
SD: It makes restitution to anyone I've inappropriately touched at super-speed!
HYPE: A noble cause!
KENT: Oh, for...now back to the studio!
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All the Deadly Venoms!

I didn't think I was going to get him right away, yet here we are. Finally, new Legends! Got Spider-Gwen, Speed Demon, Morbius, and Venom the other day. One of them I had a script waiting for already, which hopefully we'll see next week! Have a good weekend!
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Vader's motivation seems right, but I'm not sure about "Score one for justice."

So I was re-reading an old Star Wars comic, as you do, when it occurred to me that Darth Vader must be single-minded as all get out, or he would've had the Millennium Falcon shoved offa Cloud City after he captured them in Empire. 'Cause I'm pretty sure, even if he doesn't know who's flying it, he haaaaaates that ship. Vader must have been focused on getting Luke, or else he probably would've rage-hacked the Falcon into scrap himself.

Hmm. In-story, the Falcon has a pretty stock body, so I wonder how many innocent YT-1300's Vader had shot down...from 1979, Star Wars #23, "Flight into Fury!" Written and edited by Archie Goodwin, art by Carmine Infantino and Bob Wiacek. This issue, Luke and Leia escape from the gambling satellite the Wheel, but are happy to see Han faked his death a couple of issues back. Han does foreshadow the ship trouble that would lead to his next appearance, as well as to a running subplot in Marvel's adaptation, that he can not hang on to money for the life of him.

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"Movie."

If I ever have the funds available for investing, I wonder if putting said cash into horror films might not be the way to go. They're usually lower-budget than other genres of film, not necessarily just in the pejorative sense, but less expensive to make; yet usually generate a return, since like Satana a lot of horror fans are up for whatever. And every so often one breaks unexpectedly big, like a Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity.

Anyway, this miWorld AMC set was on sale the other day at Target, and I couldn't resist. In the meantime, waiting for some other stuff to go to clearance, but I kind of hate this time of year: the new Marvel Legends haven't shown up locally yet, and the NY Toy Fair is still a couple weeks out. Well, as usual, we'll amuse ourselves somehow...

By the way, that's Agent Coulson working the register, and I think that's a Jennifer Garner Alias figure getting snacks: they were the handiest "civilian" figures at the time. That Alias fig did not want to stand, though.

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This month, Thor once again pitches his A-game...

...and it's really not the time, Thor. From 1982, Marvel Team-Up #116, "Between Sword and Hammer!" Written by J. M. Dematteis, pencils by Herb Trimpe, inks by Mike Esposito. Reprinted in Marvel Adventures: Thor/Spider-Man.

The cover and accompanying blurb "Have Sword...Will Travel!" makes it seem like this issue is going to be a light-hearted one, but it's a little heavier than that. Valkyrie wonders about her place in that world, and if she would ever find that special someone; before she gets possessed by the spirits of a murderous alien couple, from the previous issue. (An aside: I think this happened a lot about this time, where the writers needed an alien for an issue's bad guy, but wanted them to have more motivation than the usual none. The writer would then overcompensate, by giving them entirely too much back story for a single comic. We saw the same thing back in an old issue of World's Finest, where the aliens are straight-up out of Les Miserables, to fight Green Arrow and Hawkman.)

Meanwhile, Spidey is being his usual mopey self--actually, the level of his self-loathing seems a bit high today, as he wonders if he'll be "exposed as an academic fraud" when he has trouble finishing a term paper. He takes a break to go for a swing, and sees Valkyrie: while not knowing her well, he thought she was okay, which is why he's a little surprised when she attacks. Realizing pretty quickly that she was possessed by her sword, Dragonfang, Spidey makes for Dr. Strange's place, where the doctor is of course out. Meanwhile, since a woman on a winged horse chasing Spider-Man through New York City makes pretty good TV, Dr. Donald Blake sees the televised action, and is struck by feels, since he and Val used to be a thing. Not really, but sort of: they had shared a mortal incarnation together, centuries ago, as Siegfried and Brunnhilda. They died, and their memories of that life were taken by Odin: this was all around Thor #296-300, in a pretty weird adaptation of the opera Gotterdammerung by Richard Wagner. OK, maybe not the weirdest adaptation of it, but still.

Thor actually gives Spidey a thump for attacking Val, but she turns on him as well. Dragonfang was actually what the aliens possessed, not Val; so when Spidey gets the sword away from her she returns to normal. Giving Thor time to realize, man, Valkyrie's kinda got it going on. Val realizes her life was too confusing by itself right then, or maybe Thor was coming on a bit strong; but Thor does get his head in the game long enough to smash Dragonfang and send the aliens' spirits to another dimension. (Possibly the same one he dumps everything else.) Thor and Val head off to get Dragonfang reforged, and Spidey wonders how NYC is going to blame him for this one.

Well, you probably have "Spear and Magic Helmet" stuck in your head now too, so my job is done...



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They're supposed to be lovable rogues, but up against my guys! Screw them!

Gee, looks like I only read the second half of this crossover, and completely bailed on the issue in the book I wasn't reading at the time. Well, now we have it, meaning the second part will turn up the first of never, unless I cave and just buy it again. From 2011, Secret Six #30, "Suicide Roulette, part one: Like a Star on the Horizon" Written by Gail Simone, art by Jim Calafiore.

Even though the Secret Six were ostensibly villains, hey, this was their book, so they were usually the heroes in their story. And they usually come off pretty well, as when Bane, struggling to ask out a girl, punches a guy inappropriately groping her; and compared to the bad guy of this story, a young slacker named Eric who's given his grandfather's will and discovers grandpa was a super-villain, a founder of the crime organization the 100. Eric quickly takes to his grandpa's legacy, becoming a murderous, sexist thug in short order; starting with hiring the Secret Six to take Oolong Island! Because he wants a volcano base, apparently; even though the island's full of genetic monstrosities, mad scientists, and oh yeah, the Doom Patrol!

Simone doesn't quite nail the Patrol's voice, for me anyway, but pretty close. Actually, even though the Six are unfriendly and dangerous, the Doom Patrol seem mostly confused about what's going on: King Shark bites off Elasti-Woman's leg! Which doesn't really seem to hurt, but still. But it's alluded that the Six and the Patrol had a run-in before, or at least some of them, like Robotman and Catman. And Black Alice badmouths Elasti-Woman's movies--oh, hell no! I want to see the Six beat down, but unfortunately Eric has the volcano blown as the issue ends!

Crud, now I'm not even positive I have the next chapter! Man, even though Simone rebuilt Catman from the ground up, I still wanna see Robotman feed him his teeth!
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Like Sixpack, I may have been a trifle deluded...

I could've sworn I was a week ahead here. Yeah, maybe, a week ago.

From 1997, Hitman #10, "Local Heroes, part two" Written by Garth Ennis, art by John McCrea. This was the storyline where then-current Green Lantern Kyle Rayner shows up, and is not portrayed especially flatteringly. Kind of wish it had been Hal, since Tommy (and Ennis)would've loved taking him down a peg...which Ennis would, in All-Star Section 8!
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Is it really a Suicide Squad without Boomerang? Or Deadshot? At least they have a Firestorm villain...

From 1998, Chase #2, "Letdowns" Plot and script by D. Curtis Johnson, pencils and plot by J. H. Williams III, inks by Mick Gray. The titular agent Cameron Chase is the one looking unthrilled to be there. She was an up-and-comer in the Department of Extranormal Operations, with an as-yet unknown superpower. Her early successes have put her on the radar of Amanda Waller, who gives her a new assignment: take the Suicide Squad to Peru to destroy the artificial intelligence (and occasional JLA villain) the Construct.

Bolt, Copperhead, or Sledge were never core members of the Squad; but Killer Frost would turn up on the team a few times. She would appear in the animated movie Batman: Assault on Arkham with the Squad as well.

I think this may have been reprinted in the DC Comics Presents collection for this series, and I have to dig it up to see what happened the next issue.
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"Turkey Shoot."

Possibly the last strip with blood...for now.
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