I've mentioned before, how while I keep it clean on the blog, generally I swear like I'm going to get a prize for it. Often, it's when my son gently suggests I might not need to swear, which just makes me want to curse more because now it's funny...Maybe if I had a catchphrase exclamation. Nah, I'd just run it into the ground, like "Suffering Sappho!" this issue. From 1973, Wonder Woman #209, "The Planet of Plunder!" and "Attack of the Sky Demons!" Written by Robert Kanigher, pencils by Ric Estrada, inks by Vince Colletta.
I don't have a ton of WW, but this issue seemed old-fashioned, even for early 70's DC: in the lead story, Wonder Woman defends an undersea civilization of women from man-invaders from Neptune; in the second the seven-year-old Wonder Girl defends Paradise Island against kanga-riding invaders. I probably wouldn't have known if I hadn't looked it up in the GCD: these were redrawn versions of stories from the late 40's: "The Planet of Plunder" from WW #31, and "Wonder Woman and the Coming of the Kangas!" from WW #23. The latter was written by William Marston, but "Planet" was originally written by Robert Kanigher!
"Planet" also ties into earlier WW continuity with the republic of Neptunia, because not unlike Superman, Wonder Woman has her own undersea dwellers like Aquaman isn't right there! And the GCD also notes in "Attack" that the invaders hitting Paradise Island were women disguised as men, so as to demoralize the Amazons into believing they would lose their powers, but upon being defeated would be reformed and presumably absorbed into the Amazons. The note indicates that plot may have been used more than a few times, even by that point in the series...
Oh, and Wonder Woman squeezes six "Suffering Sappho's" into a ten page story!
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There are only a few artists I would consider myself a completist for: They Might Be Giants, and Stephen King. I've been reading King for longer, starting with a used paperback copy of Pet Sematary back in '84 or '85. Luckily, King is incredibly prolific (like TMBG, for that matter) and has cranked out a ton of books: I think Wikipedia had it at 61 novels; and as of right now I've read 58. He's also written a number of collections; I just picked up If It Bleeds the other day. There's even more adaptations of his work, often of varying quality; and today we have a couple figures from a less-sucessful movie: Diamond Select's the Dark Tower Roland Deschain and Walter O'Dim.
The Dark Tower came out in 2017, and I know I saw it on DVD: it didn't do well at the box office, and was a bit disappointing for me as well. Kind of like the Hellboy remake, it wants to be the first of a bunch of movies, and alludes to all sorts of things without really setting them up: the movie was in development for a long time, and there were plans for a TV show as well, that maybe didn't pan out. The movie wants to impress you by throwing a bunch of concepts out and forgets to maybe focus on what it should, namely a good first story. Also, while maybe every movie doesn't have to be as long as a Lord of the Rings film, Dark Tower was supposed to be the first chapter of a sprawling fantasy epic, and it's a lean 95 minutes? Still, maybe the producers have to plan for success: it's probably easier to lock an actor in for a four-movie deal that may or may not ever happen, than it would be to try and renegotiate after the first movie is a hit.
I don't recall if there was a big merchandising push for the movie (there were statues from Diamond as well) but these were probably planned and solicited long before it came out. Roland's figure is pretty good! The Idris Elba likeness is swell, paint is nice except it's a bit monochromatic, but that's on the movie. Articulation is about average for a Diamond Select figure; though the gun-holding wrists could've used an up-down joint rather than side-to-side.
Hmm. I was going to say the Matthew McConaughey sculpt wasn't as good; but it is, it's just the older McConaughey and maybe not the face everyone remembers from his romantic comedy days or, god forbid, Dazed and Confused. (I hate that movie.) His articulation isn't as good as Roland's, and my figure is just stiff, and the texture on his coat is just--rrragh. Gross feeling, somehow. As the Man in Black, he's even more monochromatic than the Gunslinger, with black on black on black. Literally, a black coat on a black vest on a black shirt. The only bit of color is the open shirt, so the effect is that of "sexy mortician."
One thing you can often count on with Diamond Select: nice base pieces. Walter comes with a wall segment of a rotting tenement with "All Hail the Crimson King" graffitied on it, while Roland has a section of Jake's room, with a bulletin board you can attach the boy's creepy drawings of the Dark Tower onto. Walter's may be more useful; it has 'crime scene' written all over it.
These were probably around $26 originally; and I know there were sales online over the years. Maybe they're more expensive now that everyone's sold out their stock, although I should say the figure looks better in hand than the stock photo on Amazon. I got them for $9.99 a piece at Entertainmart, but I think I got the last Roland at this location. Also, I should point out these are taller than Marvel Legends figures, even though I mix-and-match a lot.
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I don't know that I've ever seen credits for this, but the Mole Man's voice for me is 100% from the classic Power Records. We blogged that issue years back, but now you can watch it on YouTube!
I think some people either missed him last time, or want an update, but there's some that want an updated Mole Man. I don't know if that's 100% necessary, but his legs do not have a ton of range. I have a few Legends Ultrons, but that's the Select version, from a toy show a bit back. I'm not sure there has really been any interaction between Krakoa and Moley's Monster Island, but they're relatively close geographically, right? I could definitely see mutant kids hitting the beaches there to throw ragers, getting chased off by Tricephalous or whatever.
I'm not sure how the current continuity or editorial direction rolls now, but it used to be if Batman needed a consult, that jazz was for team-ups: "Hmm, to examine this crime scene, I had better consult with Barry Allen, the Flash!" In his main books, Batman was unequivocally the best at everything: take Batman #315, wherein Bats out-kites Kite-Man, and that's that guy's whole thing. I was expecting something in that vein from the cover of today's book: from 1975, Batman #264, "Death of a Daredevil!" (Somewhere, Matt Murdock grits his teeth...) Written by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Ernie Chua (Chan), inks by Dick Giordano "and co." Per the GCD, Bob Wiacek and Terry Austin pitched in. Also, I may have cut it off on the scan, but this copy belonged to Kevin L. at some point!
Stunt cyclist "Devil" Dayre (somewhere, Johnny Blaze grits his teeth...) was going to jump Torres Canyon, a landmark I have no idea if it appeared before or since. An onlooker describes it as "more like a ditch" but his friend points out Evel Knievel didn't clear his canyon, so...Instead of Dayre making the jump, his glory is stolen by Homer Simpson um, Batman; stealing his rocket car and making the jump!
Somewhat surprisingly, Batman is about as successful as Homer, not even making it halfway across before crashing! His cowl and cape float to the surface--is this the end of Gotham's greatest guardian? Well, we're only three pages in, so hold on.
A week earlier, while playing pool at a millionaires' club, Bruce Wayne meets Al Dayre, who proclaims his next jump would move him into Wayne's tax bracket. (Doubtful. Get a toy deal and we'll see.) Masked thugs then try to kidnap Dayre, which leads to a shootout with his bodyguards; meanwhile Bruce dives under the pool table and seemingly immediately emerges as Batman. Seriously, Captain Marvel and the Flash saw that change and were impressed. Batman has the thugs largely wrapped up, when he's "accidentally" clocked with a pool cue swung by one of Dayre's bodyguards, and Dayre is abducted. Batman says he'll give chase, but the next panel is him confronting the bodyguard in his hotel room later that night. Bats knows there had to be an inside man, how else would the kidnappers have known Dayre was at the club? The bodyguard 'fesses up to taking "five biggies to finger Dayre"--hey, phrasing!--from a Mason Brazil, whom Batman seemingly has at least heard of. Bats tells him to turn himself in with an "or else," but I wonder what he would be charged with...
(Above scan for Dale: I gotcha, man.) At Mason Brazil's yacht, Batman pummels the same goons from before, but Mason thinks he's got Batman over a barrel: Dayre is imprisoned somewhere, with enough food to last him until the day of his scheduled jump. Unless he was paid a million "in securities" they would leave him to starve, and the "hundreds of people who've invested in his stunt will lose everything!" Hundreds of people? Did Dayre Kickstart that thing? If that many investors put everything that had in it, how much were they expecting it to pay off? Anyway, I'm sure confessing to a federal crime to Batman won't bite this guy in the ass...
The day of the jump, Batman makes it and fails, but his cape and cowl float to the surface as Batman had a scuba suit on underneath, so he could come out later with the rescue divers, who are either in on the gag or don't notice an extra guy come up with them. (Pollution would've been an issue at the time, maybe that river's filthy and visibility was poor!) Bats rendezvouses with Alfred, switching back into costume and using the Whirly-Bat to tail one of Brazil's associates. He had been told Dayre had been freed from a cabin by a passing hunter, but Batman realizes the dope was being cut out of the deal. Back at the yacht, Brazil and Dayre are about to set sail, but Batman arrives quickly. Dayre tries to escape on his motorcycle, running over and seemingly killing Brazil in the attempt, but Batman catches up to him easily on another motorcycle, pointing out Dayre was only running from himself: he would've made more money on the jump, if he hadn't been afraid.
I don't know if Dayre appeared again: I don't think he would be strong enough to carry another story on his own, but I could see him teaming up with others or working as a henchman on his bike. Maybe trying to redeem himself, somewhat: "This stunt'll show you I'm not yellow, Batman!" (Immediately crashes screaming into a gasoline truck, explodes.)
I'm writing this the Sunday before Election Day, and if time has moved forward at all since then, it's only because I took a three-day weekend that was somehow over before it started even though every day is like a bad month. But to distract from the horrible, I picked up Gail Simone's entire Gen 13 run from the quarter bins! Let's check an issue: from 2007, Gen 13 #7, "When Caitlin Ruled the Lizards" Written by Gail Simone, pencils by Alvin Lee, inks by M3th.
This is a slightly-less-cheesecakey callback to the original series Gen 13 #5, as the kids' rebooted origin had just ended, and they were making their escape from the Tabula Rasa headquarters in an experimental teleporter. Caitlin is separated from the group, and finds herself seemingly in the Savage Land--er, dinosaur times. She's attacked by a sabretooth tiger early on, and since her Gen 13 lab-issued clothes were too hot (and "designed by perverts," without underwear) she uses its hide for an outfit.
Caitlin was worried her friends, or at least "friends to be" would get eaten without her; since unlike her they weren't strong enough to punch it up with a tyrannosaur. They would probably as surprised as her, though, when the tyrannosaur talks! Not well, but still impressive. Its brains are then blown out by a very stereotypical "great white hunter," as Caitlin realizes this was another Tabula Rasa experiment turned hunting ground. She takes his guns away and leaves him to be eaten.
Finding her friends, Caitlin is more than ready to head out: the issue closes with the little green thing that was Roxy's pet in the original series, but it's not invited on the road trip. Simone would stay on the series, appropriately enough, until the 13th issue: it was a fun read, albeit surprisingly dark on occasion: if genetic engineering reached the point it could make the Gen 13 kids, that would probably the least creepy thing that would be made.
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Friday, November 06, 2020
Back when this was published, the idea that Gothamites would immediately turn to cannibalism after a disaster might have been shocking; but nowadays we'd probably only be surprised they waited as long as they did. From 1998, the Batman Chronicles #14, featuring "Master of the House" Written by Lisa Klink, pencils by David Boller, inks by Aaron Sowd; "The Lunatic Fringe" Written by Bruce Canwell, pencils by Jim Aparo, inks by Drew Geraci; and "Random Encounters" Written by Greg Rucka, illustrated by Sal Buscema and James A. Hodgkins.
These were all stories set after the "Bat-Quake" Cataclysm event. While she delivers a fun Alfred-defending-Wayne Manor story, Lisa Klink's IMDB page may be more interesting: she had written for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Voyager, as well as being a Jeopardy contestant! Huntress leads the second feature, rescuing a school bus full of children from carnivores moving up the food chain from stray animals to outright cannibalism. Although one of the thugs was bulky and probably needed a lot of protein, it's not really clear if these guys were criminals previously, or just desperate; and one has taken a name from history, Roman general Lucullus. That's a deeply obscure reference for Gotham, isn't it? Although Huntress recognizes it immediately, which also seems iffy.
"Random Encounters" is a prose piece from Rucka, with Renee Montoya's brother Benny telling a war story. He laments the grey areas of morality regular people have to live with, but someone like Two-Face seems to have circumvented: Montoya had his coin, or one of them. I haven't read a ton of Rucka's work, so I don't know if Benny would re-occur, or if this was a one-off.
Also this issue: Man-Thing gives a shack the what-for. From 1974, Man-Thing #3, "Day of the Killer, Night of the Fool!" Written by Steve Gerber, pencils by Val Mayerik, inks by Jack Abel.
We start with the shack, which wasn't a harmless construction shack, but was in actuality a trap set for Man-Thing by his foes, contractor F.A. Schist and Professor Wilbur Wickham. They want to kill Manny real bad, although this issue doesn't get into why. Man-Thing was usually placid and somewhat lethargic, but today he seems to remember that trap, and smashes the crap out of it, scaring off Schist and company for now.
Nearby, Richard Rory (...ugh) says goodbye to some new friends; namely some bikers that were going to kill him but now like him. Unfortunately, Richard forgot to ask them, or the cops that were also there earlier, to borrow some gas, so he and his girl Ruth are still stuck there! His biker friends are even less fortunate: they ride smack dab into the Foolkiller, who stops them with his "purification" laser pistol. FK is searching for Rory; to their credit the bikers don't give him up, and are both killed. (The fate of their girls is unclear, if they survived the bikes exploding, but Foolkiller doesn't question them or check.) Foolkiller then heads to the F.A. Schist construction camp, to give Schist his card:
Later, a familiar seeming sports car stops to help Rory and Ruth, before heading up the road: while grateful, Rory has a feeling "as though he's had a meeting with destiny--and slept through it!" Even though he's in costume again the next page, that was pretty obviously Foolkiller helping Rory out, but he misses his first target en route to his third: Dr. Theodore Sallis--the Man-Thing! Somehow, FK had accessed the secret "Serum SO-2" information, and put together what had happened to Sallis. (Which would seem obvious if you read comics, but a bit of a jump in-story!) He is distracted by a helicopter, which in another logical leap he assumes is Schist trying to escape, and shoots it down. Instead, it was innocent bystanders escaping a flood, now crashed into a swamp and surrounded by gators. This unforced error seems to jar Foolkiller, so he's slow to respond, but the Man-Thing lurches into action, throwing the gators around and saving the people.
Foolkiller says he will reconsider Manny's death, but in doing so calls him Sallis, which seems to trigger the same response that saying "Banner" to the Hulk did. Feeling the hate in FK, the Man-Thing advances on him, and is gunned down by repeated laser blasts. The second-to-last panel has a Marvel Value Stamp cut out of it, but still a good line: "And finally...when his insides are dry as chalk" the Man-Thing falls, dead. Well, 'dead,' I'm pretty sure like a large Gatorade would reconstitute him. I also know the Foolkiller gun and costume have been passed around a bit, but I had forgotten the religious crusade aspect of this one. Although he seems less 'avenging angel' than 'dangerous lunatic,' Gerber probably won't make a paladin of him.
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Also, I did not schedule this today on purpose. I don't think. From 1977, Action Comics #478, "Earth's Last Day!" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Francisco Chiaramonte.
Remember that old issue where Superman thought he was going to die and wrote a goodbye message on the moon with his heat-vision? That probably pissed these guys off! This was the second of a two-parter, with Superman vs. "the land-lords of earth!" Actually, they're the Lunarians, who lived within the moon but claim the earth was actually originally part of their planet, but was excised billions of years ago when it was "infected" with vegetation. Which begs the question why they want it back now; there was still plenty of vegetation there. The Lunarians were no pushovers, though: their molecular disruption weapons could even affect Superman, although it seemed to do so by making him bloated? Moreover, the rest of earth's heroes weren't hopping into action (at least not in costume) since the Lunarians were using a "cephalic inhibitor" to block their memories of their super-heroic identities.
The Mooninites--um, Lunarians are led by Primor Trena and Secundus Ormong; Trena decides maybe she can upgrade and replace Ormong with Superman. Although, she claims to "just love a brutal man!" so she may be barking up the wrong tree. While Superman agrees to fight Ormong for the Lunarians to stay off earth, Trena plans to give Supes the ol' cephalic whatzis treatment to keep him in line later. For his part, though, Ormong straight hulks out under direct sunlight; growing more than twice Superman's size and nearly breaking his jaw! (It's kind of like when the Daxamites unexpectedly, to them, got better-than-Superman powers under earth's yellow sun.) The rest of the Lunarians apparently aren't willing to expose themselves to vacuum to gain the power, or don't realize in time; while Superman tricks Ormong into smashing asteroids into a new world, which can either be their new home, or their grave. (Supes carves a long-ass ultimatum into the planet to get his message across!)
Because the Lunarians are dicks, they assume the same of Superman: he was bluffing, and would never be able to kill a civilization, even to save earth. He and Trena both seem to be wistful over what they maybe could have been; but the Lunarians caused a lot of flood damage, so I won't remember them fondly.
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