Wednesday, March 07, 2012


If you don't have it--and you should by now, it was in bloody Hackers over fifteen years ago for god's sake--Tony's mentioning Underworld's "Cowgirl," which I still love unconditionally.

The Target where I've been getting the new Marvel Legends isn't too far from my work. It's close enough that I can walk there on my lunch break...if I run. And by run, I mean, "sacrifice all dignity and run like something's chasing you." And that's if I've kept up on my conditioning, which it being early in the year and the snow's just starting to clear, I very much have not. And since I was wearing two jackets since it was cold, by the time I got back I was if not drenched with sweat, unpleasantly damp. And to further add insult to...well, insult, I guess; Klaw somehow sold out, and only a lone Stealth Extremis Iron Man was left on the pegs; meaning I'm still a leg short for Terrax.

Tony probably doesn't have anything on Stupid Sexy Flanders, but still. The debate rages, however, about the scale for this figure. The Extremis armor is supposed to be thinner and more form-fitting, but does this make Tony look too small? It probably depends on how you picture Tony: straight-up Robert Downey Jr? Reasonably fit playboy? Layabout drunk? Displaying him with Steve and Thor probably further complicates the issue, since they're both much bigger guys than Tony. My guess is it's just a hair small, but since it's exceedingly rare for Iron Man to actually look like a guy wearing armor, that's probably close enough.

Anyway, I always think of a bit of advice I want to say came from makeup and effects man Rob Bottin, creator of the RoboCop movie costume: you can't put a big guy like a Stallone or a Schwarzeneggar in a suit like that, because they look like the Pillsbury doughboy in there. A relatively skinny guy looks good in there, which now makes me wonder if Captain America would've looked worse in his armor than we suspected.

(I'm pretty sure that suit, if it wasn't a full-on iron lung, was doing a lot of medical support for Steve; so it couldn't have been streamlined, at all. But Cap would probably not look right even in good armor. Tony, Rhodey, and occasionally Daredevil can pull it off; but a lot of heroes not so much. Spider-Man's rarely seen web-armor looks like he made it the night before. Thor's armor, while awesome, is like a truck deciding to wear a bigger truck for protection. Namor's armor sloshes, although to be fair Tony's does sometimes as well...)

Come to think of it, this is the first stealth Iron Man I've ever bought. Not bad.

1 comment:

Dale Bagwell said...

You'd think so huh? I blame it all on hasbro's shitty sculpting artists; the 4horsemen pwn ML figures in this department.

On a sidenote, wouldn't skinnier IM be able to hold less alcohol than a bigger and bulkier IM?