Geez, Norrin, Homer Simpson has to go back to his old job less often than you.

Reading this one, I swear I could hear a cartoon bear mom imploring everyone to "roll it back!" But, some changes from this series maybe stuck? From 2018, Infinity Countdown #4, written by Gerry Duggan, pencils by Aaron Kuder and Mike Hawthorne, inks by Aaron Kuder, Terry Pallot, and Jose Marzan Jr.

After nearly being taken over by Ultron, the Silver Surfer seemingly ditched Adam Warlock mid-fight, as Ultron was about to launch rockets (which seems so old-school!) at the entire universe, spreading himself like an infection. The Surfer wasn't chickening out, though, as much as running to get his old boss to eat Ultron's planet: Galactus turns him down flat, since he was currently the fresh-maker er, "Life-bringer," and eating a planet...would be bad? Like him falling off the wagon?

Meanwhile, on Xandar, the Nova Corps is both surprised and mildly annoyed that Richard Rider and the Guardians of the Galaxy both survived the Chitauri and had the no-longer-planet-sized Power Stone. They may have lost Ant-Man, though...I'm pretty sure he turns up later, but couldn't tell you how: "But the important thing is, we're okay," says Rocket. Gamora wants to put together a new Infinity Watch, and Rich gives it a second, to see if maybe they did it and could go back in time and confirm...? No? All right. Rich has to take off, since his younger brother was now part of the Darkhawk-related Fraternity of Raptors. They briefly seem like they're going to pass the Power Stone like the Beastie Boys pass the mike: Gamora suggests maybe not taking it back into enemy territory, so Rich leaves the Stone with Star-Lord, although Gamora then firmly asks for it, followed by the Nova Corps claiming it was their property. With a saxophone blast, Drax takes the Stone, pissed at all of them. Then, Star-Lord is asked to consult for the Collector and Grandmaster, who have acquired the Reality Stone. Or rather, a Reality Stone: Phyla-Vell and Moondragon from a neighboring reality show up for it, explaining each universe's Reality Stone was hidden in the figurative next universe over. It didn't work here, so Star-Lord gives it to them; and they leave with a cryptic remark about "who Requiem is." (You'll be able to guess when they show; and it's not a secret for long.)

Warlock was unable to stop all of Ultron's rockets: he was rocking the half-Hank Pym face there; it's very Cyborg-Superman. I think elsewhere in the series Hank gets really got, like pretty definitively killed? His soul eaten, maybe? They briefly kind of tried to play up the metaphorical connection between Warlock and Ultron, as "sons of man." The Surfer arrives with Galactus, which Ultron laughs off; thinking it was a scam, since it was now well known that the Guardians had a fake-Galactus mech; but this was the real deal, who changes from gold to his traditional purple as he eats the planet. The rockets are destroyed, and Warlock shoots the Soul Gem out of Ultron's hand...by shooting his hand off; although the robot presumably still escapes. But while that disaster had been averted, was the price too high? Galactus now again hungered, and the Surfer was again forced into service as his herald. Which seems to happen a lot, when the Surfer doesn't have his own series? Well, like I keep saying, it's work, man. Gotta keep workin' it. Read more!

I feel like Alan Davis was given a memo, "Draw Star-Lord more like Chris Pratt." I wonder if that's still the case, or if they're like no, draw Star-Lord like whoever now...From 2017, Guardians of the Galaxy: Mother Entropy #1, written by Jim Starlin, pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Mark Farmer.

Weirdly, while I think Knowhere cop Dietz is based on John C. Reilly as Nova Corpsman Rhomman Dey; I only see a little Zoe Saldana in Davis's Gamora. His Groot is great, though: super-expressive. This mini-series leans heavily in the movie characterizations along with the looks: the team has saved the universe, or at least a planet or two, more than once; but they're also broke, irresponsible, and prone to questionable decisions. To make some quick cash, Drax was selling his blood, to be used as a drug, until Gamora shut that down.

On the verge of cutting and running out; the Guardians get a job offer from the cops, to transport a creepy alien monk and his "Mother Stone" home. The monk tells them, their holy scripture says no more than five people can be around the stone at any given time, or something terrible and unspecified will happen. Gamora and Peter are both "whatever" to that, but the monk dies shortly thereafter of a heart attack, leaving them worried how that delivery was going to go. But they don't have time to worry, as Pip the Troll teleports in to steal it! Drax and Gamora know him, even if it's left at that: their time with the Infinity Watch, for example, is not gone into. For that matter, Pip is still able to teleport, even though he hadn't had the Space Stone in years.

Still, there's no time to dwell on that either, as five Guardians plus one troll make six, and the Mother Stone does...something.

This was a little five issue mini, which came out around about the same time as the second movie. I got it on the cheap, but just about anything Alan Davis is worth checking out. In fact, I had to check to make sure I hadn't blogged it yet!
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It's been eight years, but we're up to chapter 3!

Look, we'll finish "Blood and Thunder" sometime. Maybe. Today we're up to chapter 3, in 1993's The Warlock Chronicles #6, "Aftermath!" Written by Jim Starlin, pencils by Kris Renkewitz, inks by Pat Redding.

We open with Moondragon using the Mind Gem and her own telepathic powers, to try and unlock the memories of the amnesiac Maxam. It's less than successful, although she suspects his mental defenses and his powers were given to him. While Pip is willing to trust Maxam, since he helped out against the Goddess; Gamora is not. She had a vision from the Time Gem, of Maxam standing over Adam Warlock's body. She's willing to kill Maxam rather than take the chance, but Adam is willing to wait and see what happens; which she calls "a grotesque fascination with the man, almost like a death wish!" She may be not wrong...

Shortly thereafter, Maxam and Moondragon watch Drax the Destroyer...blow a mean sax. She recaps a bit of his history (which would be completely alien to his movie fans!) as he used to be her father...before she accidentally killed him, and he was resurrected with brain damage. Moondragon sounds like she's trying to rehearse a conversation she doesn't want to have, and knows isn't going to go well. After a slightly less uncomfortable conversation with Adam, Maxam talks to Pip, who decides to take him to a bar in New York City. A country bar.

Warlock checks out his Orb of Eternity, and sees Thor, and notices something wasn't right. (Namely, the imaginary Valkyrie with him.) Eternity appears to him, and Adam suspects Eternity wants something from him; but Adam wants something as well: he was trying to put superhumans in his debt, so he could call in the favor later. The usually emotionless, often dour Adam seems remarkably smirky about this.

On Monster Island, Gamora is increasingly fed up with everyone just doing whatever, but notices the depressed Drax, who wasn't invited to go with Pip and Maxam. At the country bar, the requisite fight breaks out, and Maxam is surprised at the locals' bigotry: either it wasn't a thing wherever or whenever he was from, or he just didn't remember. Although, it is hinted that he does remember anti-paranormal racism, and may be somewhat uncomfortable with the thought that he could be a mutant. No time for that now though: Adam calls Pip to transport him, into space, where Thor was about to kill the Silver Surfer! (EDIT: In 2010 when we looked at the next chapter, we wondered why Pip had a cowboy hat and western outfit!)

We'll get to the end of this crossover someday! "Blood and Thunder" is collected...but don't, like, go nuts or anything. It's not the worst Marvel crossover I've ever read, but keep in mind I've read some doozies...

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We're long past the point where it's harder to find something that hasn't been cancelled. Try impossible.

Nine years of looking at last issues--and we'll ignore stuff like picking up old numbering for Blackest Night or Marvel Legacy, thank you very much--but this year feels somewhat topical. Marvel just announced, by not announcing, several cancellations: books like Gwenpool, Hawkeye, and Iceman were left off the company's solicitations for March 2018; stealth cancellations. Tom Brevoort and Joe Quesada tried to defend the cancellations, but to some it feels like Marvel is gutting their "diversity" books--several had female or LBGTQ leads--and while some are disappointed, there are some tools rooting for the end of Marvel's "SJW" agenda. (Those guys are losers. There are comics I have outright hated, but even if a book isn't for you, that doesn't mean it's not for someone else to enjoy.)

Still, I suspect Marvel is doing what Marvel usually does: launch a ton of new titles at the same time, then when they don't immediately take off cancel them inside of ten issues, twelve tops. It's why I'm not running out of last issues anytime soon. So let's hit--cracks knuckles--seven Marvel last issues!

From 2000, X-51: the Machine Man #12, "Space Odyssey" Written by Karl Bollers, pencils by Joe Bennett, inks by Bob Wiacek. This was one of Marvel's M-Tech books, along with Deathlok and Warlock, neither of which made it this far. It's a text-heavy issue, without traditional word balloons, recapping all of Machine Man's history and burning off some unused plots, like MM becoming the hero of Central City (Not the Flash's!) or his older "brother," prototype X.E.R.O. organizing a robot apocalypse with Dragon Man, the Super-Adaptoid, Arnim Zola, and Ultron! And former biker gang members in mech suits versus A.I.M!

Man, maybe if they had gone with those sooner, it might've got the book past issue #12! X-51 alters the timeline to keep X.E.R.O's future from happening, then goes into the monolith from 2001, which is Celestial-related here, which seemingly places him where he would be at the start of Earth X.

And where he would be prior to Nextwave, for that matter. One brief note: I really like Bennett's art this issue, just nice and crisp.

In no particular order, next we've got Black Widow #12, written by Chris Samnee and Mark Waid, art by Chris Samnee. This would be the final showdown between the Widow and the Recluse, the daughter of the Headmistress of the Red Room; Natasha's trainer. Natasha had always been a better trainee, and overshadowed and jealous, the Recluse plotted revenge, training girls in a new "Dark Room." Here, she has a brutal choice for Natasha: kill one of her students, or let them turn the self-destruct sequence that would destroy all of S.H.I.E.L.D's equipment and data!

Natasha knows Recluse's girls are where she used to be: an expendable asset, and not even one to be used responsibly. She points out how Recluse was using them, and the girls realize it and walk away from her. Maria Hill arrives to give Natasha a bit of ribbing, but knows she was working to save S.H.I.E.L.D, and Tony Stark arranges for adoptions and schooling for Recluse's former girls. ("You know they're all underage, right?") Maria suggests Natasha come in from the cold--literally, in this case, but Nat takes it figuratively as well. This was a solid twelve issues from Samnee and Waid, who were just coming off Daredevil, and they've gone on to Captain America since; but I wonder if Black Widow didn't take off for them, or if it had been intended as a twelve issue run. Marvel claims limited series don't sell, but I still think they're a better idea than trying to make everything an ongoing book at once. (Or, the title page notes this issue takes place before Civil War II...no, wait: that was when Tony was kind of written out. I was jumping the gun there, Natasha was allegedly killed in Secret Empire #7. Friggin' crossovers.)

Sometimes, Marvel will try to give a title a new number one, to show a new direction for a character. Sometimes, it might not be the right direction. From 2012, Herc #10, "Storybook Ending" Written by Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente, pencils by David Hahn, inks by Roy Richardson and Rebecca Buchman.

Spinning out of World War Hulk, Hercules had a solid couple of years with the Incredible Hercules, having adventures with Amadeus Cho. Herc went with another tack, Herc as a street-level vigilante in Brooklyn, even though some mythological elements were still there, like the resurrected Zeus. Or this issue, the Baba Yaga, and her henchwoman, Elektra? She had taken the job to get back at the Kingpin, who warns Herc the Baba Yaga may be more dangerous than she thought.

This may have been wrapping up a plotline sooner than intended, but Zeus is restored to his godhood here: he offers the same to Herc, who prefers to stay a man. (Zeus thinks Herc's just trying to impress Elektra, but Herc just doesn't want to be a jerk like his dad.) I thought this book never gained any traction since it was bogged down in crossovers: three issues to Fear Itself, two to Spider Island. But it wouldn't be long until Herc would show up in other books, anyway.

Speaking of crossovers and bogging down, here's one that may have been hung up from the start: from 2015, Superior Iron Man #9, "Freedom" Written by Tom Taylor, art by Yildiray Cinar.

I got to read most of Avengers & X-Men: Axis out of the quarter bin a bit ago, and for a buck an issue it was an okay read. But that crossover ends with a few characters still having their alignment reversed, namely Iron Man, who also inadvertently shielded Havok and Sabretooth. While Havok is left evil and Sabretooth good (and neither appear in this series!) Tony has become an arrogant, profiteering dick; selling his new Extremis app to improve people, at a cost. Pepper Potts tried to activate a fail-safe Tony left, a digital copy of Tony's mind from eight years ago. Digital Tony and Pepper, in a new Rescue armor, think they have Tony beat, but he only pretended so he could get in past the Stark Resilient firewalls and destroy the digital version, forcing it onto a "quarantined" flash drive. Tony thinks he's eight steps ahead of Pepper; but she tells him he won't quit, and she'll tell the world what he's become. (Which sounds like trying to convince people to give up Apple: a brutal, uphill struggle with not much return.)

Well, except she wouldn't really have to, since Secret Wars was next, and I think Tony would be reset after that. But if you play the Contest of Champions game, you may still see him! I know I have a four-star Superior Iron Man...

Which would've been a smoother segue if he appeared in this next book! From 2016, Contest of Champions #10, "Earth's Fightiest Heroes" Written by Al Ewing, art by Rhoald Marcellius. Hmm. I think this came out before I started playing the game, but this last issue does feature a few characters prominently featured in the game: like the Maestro and the Punisher 2099. In the aftermath of Secret Wars, the Collector and the Grandmaster had been making heroes and villains fight in the Battlerealm, leftover pieces of alternate worlds. But they had been forced out by the new boss, the Maestro; and today's fight features the Thunderbolts and the Avengers, but not quite the ones we know: they were from a universe where Civil War "went really well for Tony Stark." Also fighting today: our ragtag band of heroes, including Guillotine (from the game), Ares, and Outlaw. Outlaw? Yep! He's a pretty good viewpoint character here, as the former Punisher wannabe doesn't want to be a killer anymore, he wants to help. (An alternate Frank Castle tells Outlaw what he does wasn't "political," but British Outlaw has had a different experience.)

Oh, and it's this Outlaw, not this one from Gail Simone's Deadpool/Agent X. Several heroes and villains die this issue, Iron Patriot/President Tony Stark's secret is revealed, there are a few dramatic returns; and the Contest is wrapped up in a way that it could be brought right back as needed. I wonder if this book was advertised in the game: I kinda suspect it wasn't, although I'm also not positive that it would've helped, either. I'm not sure I knew about this book until I stumbled across this last issue!

Conversely, next we have a book that I was reading until the end, and another that echoes recent complaints about Marvel's cancellations: too soon, should've waited for the trade sales, it was finding its audience. Also, it pissed off the right people, as in, colossal man-babies. From 2016, Mockingbird #8, written by Chelsea Cain, pencils by Kate Niemczyk, inks by Sean Parsons.

The last two issues of the series tied into her ex-husband Hawkeye going on trial for killing the Hulk in Civil War II (a trial that apparently took about 20 minutes) and an older and iffy piece of Mockingbird's continuity: when she let the Phantom Rider die. Previously, it had been believed that the Rider--a creepy, sexist stalker, now a ghost--had drugged and taken advantage of Bobbi, but she says Hawkeye had never believed it. Instead, Bobbi admits the truth was she had cheated on him. The Rider tries to kill Bobbi by knocking her off a cruise ship, but she's saved by mer-corgis. Or maybe she just washes up on the beach: the tone this issue is a bit all over the place, which would usually be fine but a shame for the series finale.

This cancellation hurt. Bobbi would show up in Amazing Spider-Man later, and I know that it got to a point where Peter asked her out, but I also know in my heart Peter would wreck that like he wrecked his company and everything else and arrgg. (That's not really Peter's fault, the character gets rolled back every so often: I'd be surprised if he wasn't back at the Daily Bugle or living with his aunt again by now...)

Lastly, we hit a book with a surprising pedigree and an offbeat character choice, although I don't know if Marvel seriously, seriously thought Drax could maintain a monthly title in the current market! From 2016, Drax #11, "The Bitter End!" Written by CM Punk and Cullen Bunn, art by Scott Hepburn.

Huh, this issue features Killer Thrill, the bounty hunter from Deadpool: Back in Black. It also features Planet Terry, Fin Fang Foom, Terrax the Tamer, and Torgo from Fantastic Four #93! Killer Thrill has kidnapped a baby dragon, and wants to turn it into a murderous monster; everyone else is out to stop her. Drax's friend Ora caught a beating from KT, but tells Drax they used to be partners. Killer Thrill was tortured into the monster she was now, and Ora argues she deserves mercy.

Killer Thrill had lost an arm--eaten by Venom in Back in Black--and now had a Groot-style arm; which Drax later rips out. He won't kill her, at least not with the baby dragon watching. Rather than turn the baby over to Fin, since they all know he'll go bad again eventually, Drax leaves it with Ora and their team, as he heads back to the Guardians. It's a happy ending, although Drax knows his quest to kill Thanos is ultimately self-destructive. I suspect this series may have been intended to get another Guardians related trade on the shelves prior to the movie; and it was written by wrestler CM Punk, although I'm not sure if it was advertised anywhere as such.

Let's see, what have we learned here? Out of these seven books, I was reading three up to their cancellation: Mockingbird, X-51, and Herc. Black Widow I made sure I got the last issue, since I had picked up a good chunk of the rest of the series on the cheap when Hastings was closing. The other three I'm pretty sure were from quarter bins, which means some retailer probably ate the cost there. (It's actually slightly unusual to find a last issue in a quarter bin, at least a recent one: most retailers would have cut their orders down to zero before the end.) But I think the lesson is, Marvel has run this game for a long time: launch a bunch of titles, make halfway decent sales on the #1's, then cancel said titles when sales droop. Repeat. And I'm not sure it's ever worked especially well, but it seems to be working less now. The fans that were trained to jump all over a new first issue are either aging out (or dying off) or wising up. New readers don't have the time or patience to keep track of that sort of thing, even if it was presented clearly; and might prefer digital or trades.

That, and I'm now having a hard time thinking of a Marvel title in the last decade that lasted more than twelve issues. There had to be some, right?



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"Rocket."

Bendis took over writing the Guardians of the Galaxy comic, and I want to say he started writing Rocket Raccoon as...a little more violent, than the previous versions of gunslinging space varmint had been? Apparently, Bendis writes RR as if Jason Stratham was doing the voice, and "BLAM! Murdered you!" is his current catchphrase. Which sounds like something fifteen-year-olds playing Xbox Live would yell at each other, except nicer.

Anyway, since I hadn't read the new Rocket Raccoon #1 yet, we went with Bendis's version here, and used Rocket as a somewhat horrible little monster.

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