I haven't seen the DC animated version of Crisis on Infinite Earths yet, and I know a version of Kingdom Come is still on a lot of fans' wishlists; but for me DC is leaving money on the table having never adapted this one: from 1997, Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone, story and art by Adam Warren, inks by Tom Simmons. 

This was a squarebound Elseworlds book, and I wonder how it sold. OK, looking it up, 21,066 copies? And I have at least two? Ranked 131, but it was at a higher price-point than most of the titles around it...wow, outranked by Superboy and the Ravers #9 and Untold Tales Legend of Captain Marvel? Sometimes I just want to take comics, as a collective, by the ear and have a little word with it...Titans: Scissors, Paper, Stone is just good, man. It's exceedingly well-crafted and despite not really featuring the classic Teen Titans still says a lot about them.

In a far-flung future, a young witch realizes her satellite home was going to be in danger. To combat that, she ritualistically puts together a mythical team to fight the threat, patterned after the legendary Teen Titans. While she was the magic-y 'Raven' type, she recruits an energy alien living in a human corpse and a girl with a decommissioned military cyborg body as her 'Starfire' and 'Cyborg.' The last team member is her ex-boyfriend, but running a programed personality, of a certain famously brooding superhero, who describes "Dick" to a T: "A good-natured thug, lacking super-powers, but well-armed with a positive attitude." The new team has to face a colossal military death machine running amuck, but the witch is confident since in the super-hero myths "...in the end, the good guys never, ever, ever lose!" Maybe, but there might be more to that...

So, this has been reprinted at least once; and that Comichron sales page kicked over to eBay links to this one: there's several out there on the cheap, and I highly recommend it.

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Good news: I got another big ol' pile of dollar books from the Comic Book Shop the other day; including a few I had really been looking for! Bad news, and this is very much a First World Problem: a lot of them were double-bagged, in these extra-fancy Ultra-Pro Comic Sleeves. It's not quite like cracking open a slabbed book, but it's also not conducive to just picking one up and reading it. I know I picked up three issues of Garth Ennis Legends of the Dark Knight because I wanted to read that story again, but I should really go find the reader copies I already have and not pop these open...On the other hand, I didn't quite remember if I had read this one before--I had, and I remember now why I memory-holed it--and it did not need to be in the fancy holder. Unless it was there to keep readers out, in which case it should've tried harder. From 1994, Green Lantern Annual #3, "Ring of Evil" Written by David de Vries, pencils by Dean Zachary, inks by Andrew Pepoy.

Let's see here: over the years, we've blogged Green Lantern Annual #5, part of Legends of the Dead Earth; Green Lantern Annual #7, part of the 1998 "Ghosts" annual event; Annual #8, part of 1999's JLApe, and even 2013's Green Lantern Annual #2 (part of "Lights Out," which didn't get a tag!) 2018's Green Lanterns Annual #1 and the 2021 Green Lantern Annual #1 with Jessica Cruz. And I need a new copy of GL Annual #6, super sci-fi pulpy goodness with Kyle! I mention all of this, not just to show I've read too much Green Lantern, but because you would be happier reading any of those, this book is full of Nazi stuff. And not in the usual fun comics way of Nazis getting punched the hell out, either; they get a ton of page time and build-up. (Also, every time I see this cover, I think that's a slightly different cover logo, and I wonder why it wasn't used again: because it was used on this one, that's why!)

First up, this was an Elseworlds annual, and I don't think the creators went into this with any ill intent. The whole thing reminds me of the Star Trek episode "Patterns of Force." Instead of rings from space, or however Alan Scott got his ring (It's probably changed in-continuity, but I've seriously forgotten! I want to say he carved it himself from a bigger ring but that can't be right.) the power ring this issue is...created by Heinrich Himmler in WWII? Not even a knock-off like Hindlich Hinder or anything either, straight-up Himmler. In a ritual that seems to involve summoning a demonic entity and sucking the souls of some of his men into the ring, he charges up a ring with an SS/lightning bolts logo; and basically wins the war from there. Fifty or so years later, America is formally Nazified, as we see SS Major Guy Gardner and Flight Lieutenant Hal Jordan getting Iron Crosses from a Reich dame in an SS bathing suit, which might be believable if she wasn't actually the boss: I think in recent years we've kinda seen what fascists think of women. The woman senses a man in the crowd, who looks like he's dressed like a medieval monk, complete with rope belt: oh, yeah, he blends in. 

At a party later, despite the glory, Hal is gloomy, seemingly because his relationship with Carol had ended. Guy has to leave early, since his SS has to take out the local resistance, the Green Arrows! Their leader Ollie is killed, as he was turning over leadership of the group to John Stewart, but most of the Arrows are slaughtered. John does put a literal arrow into Guy, before escaping; wounded, he makes his way to his girlfriend, Carol! Meanwhile, Hal's moping is interrupted by the monk-man, who was being chased by demons, who want his yellow SS ring. The guy had been Himmler's adjutant or assistant or whatever, and took the ring after Himmler was seduced by the Reich dame, Karelia; who's really a demon or something. While Hal's getting the yellow ring, Karelia sucks the souls out of the remaining Green Arrows, to put into a green ring for Guy. First Hal, and then Guy, find John and Carol together, and they're taken prisoner. Hal and Guy fight...and I'm not even sure why at this point? Hal thinks the green ring, is a "ring of evil," and that Karelia has perverted the dream...of Nazis? Yeah, enough of this. Eventually, John puts an arrow in Karelia; Guy stabs Hal with that arrow, Guy and John fight with rings, and eventually John wins and becomes Green Lantern, with a Lantern ring instead of an SS one, but with a bunch of souls in it? Even that feels gross, it's got Jordan and Himmler's goons in it. 

Anyway, I'm not scanning anything for this, because there's too much Nazi imagery, and super-racist talk against John. ("Super-racist" in a PG, Comics-Code approved way that would seem childishly tame on X nowadays, but I still don't want to repeat or scan any of that.) While Hal definitely wouldn't warmly embrace his counterpart, Guy would immediately kill the Nazi-cosplay version of himself; except this story was kind of like back when Guy was a villain: as a bad guy, he could take a licking and keep on ticking. Still, were there traditionally red-headed Nazis? Anyway, this whole post is just a warning: no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here... nothing valued is here. What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us." It's just to remember I've read this before. It's kind of like how I'd like to get a cheap copy of Stallone's Judge Dredd on DVD, so I can duct-tape it shut and not be tempted to watch it again! "Oh, it can't be as bad as I remember--" It is! "The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours."

Also, if you're curious: the first two Green Lantern Annuals are Gerald Jones, we're not going to be reading those; and #9 was part of the Planet DC event, that introduced a bunch of international characters that were mostly never seen again. That first GL Annual has Hal punching Star Sapphire, in a really abusive-looking way; and her costume is not helping there: that was when she was really mean, and that outfit was like linebacker-dominatrix on top, heels and panties on the bottom. Classy!  

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Maybe if I finish the "Legends of the Dead Earth" annuals, I could go on to these--no. No. We're not doing that.

I was familiar with the cover from a house ad, a Jim Balent number with a woman turning into a cat-woman in front of Castle Greykitty; but hadn't read this until recently: from 1994, Catwoman Annual #1,"The Last Man" Written by Christopher Priest, pencils by Federico Cueva, inks by Alberto Pez.

This was another Elseworlds annual, with a medeval Batman winning his final battle against the Cat-Man, R'as al Ghul. Perhaps because this Batman did not seem like the most noble of warriors, his name wasn't a variation of Bruce Wayne; it was instead "Lord Timon Vicar." Timon was having all of the Selenites, the cat-people, put to the sword; since he saw them as sorcerous, soulless abominations; and he had already killed R'as eight times. The ninth time might be the charm; but Timon loses an eye and is grievously wounded. Feverish and sick, Timon isn't able to put up a fight, when his men are later killed by bandits; but he is saved by a mysterious cat-woman.

After dispatching the bandits, the cat-woman asks him where Timon was; perhaps wisely, Timon points to one of his dead men. The woman claims, if her father R'as had still been alive, she wouldn't be covered in fur now. Mockingly calling him "Truman," for a true man; she forces him to bury his dead men, then plans on taking him to speak with the Emperor, and end the slaughter of the Selenites. Still feverish, Timon has a dream about saving the cat-woman from R'as; and awakes to find her asleep in human form. Finally giving her name as Talia, she explains how he's a backwards, prejudiced, sexist tool; but she needs him, useless as he is. Later, while Talia is getting horses, Timon is accosted and beat by his own Legionnaires, who don't recognize their boss, and seem like the thugs Talia saw them as. When they plan to "have their fun" with Talia, a furious Timon rallies and murders them all, but can't bring himself to hurt Talia.

Later, Talia is furious over losing the scent of a murdering band of Legionnaires, and reveals she had known who Timon was all along. They spend a night together, then Talia disappears, leaving Timon to make his way home. Back in his Bat-armor, he tries to convince his father to end the war, and gets slapped down. Furious that his own son might have been ensorcelled, he resolves to triple the slaughter, and is immediately murdered by Talia. Timon tries to stop her escape, leading to a fall into the moat and a fight with a gator; and Talia rescues him again. She thinks while his father never would have, Timon could end the war: she is immediately shot in the back by Timon's men. Timon does end the war, but knows at some point he will face Talia again: she still had eight lives left.

OK, even though I read a ton of those in '94, there is no way we're going to get to all the Elseworlds annuals! So far I think we've seen Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #4, Legionnaires Annual #1, and Robin Annual #3. Read more!

Ugh, we're not doing "Blame Canada" again, are we?

My local comic shop keeps a rack by the door, of maybe not minty fresh books, but interesting ones: a lot of the Gold Key Twilight Zones I blogged last year were from there, a fistful of early Swamp Things, and a bunch of Kamandi. I'm almost getting a decent run going, but I wasn't sure if I had read this whole series before: from 1993, Kamandi at Earth's End #4, "The Man at Earth's End!" Written by Tom Veitch, pencils by Frank Gomez, inks by Mike Barreiro.

Tom Veitch wrote Star Wars: Dark Empire, which I think had one of my favorite lines in Star Wars comics, with Palpatine badmouthing Vader in a fight. I mention that, because this one...enh. This was an Elseworlds modernization of Kirby's Kamandi, but it doesn't have the evolved, talking animals anymore; which leaves a rather charmless apocalypse. It's kind of like if the original Kamandi had been inspired by Mad Max and its sundry knock-offs instead of Planet of the Apes. Raised in a bunker by the computer "Mother," Kamandi is kicked out into the world with a mission, to kill the man Mother claimed destroyed the world...a familiar figure, with a big red 'S.' Kamandi quickly picks up a couple sidekicks, um, Burly Gun-Guy, and Girl. Okay, they have names, but they're no Prince Tuftan or Dr. Canus. They're chased all the way across the country by Ben Boxer and his Terminator-like friends, who are both less and more human than they were in Kirby's version.

I didn't love this one, but I guess it did well enough that Veitch and Gomez got a prestige format one-shot sequel, for Superman: At Earth's End. Read more!

He's offering her his sword, meaning his...um, it's a metaphor.

I had been looking for this one for a bit, and I picked it up with a ton of books last week: from 1994, Legionnaires Annual #1, "Castles in the Air" Written by Mark Waid and Ty Templeton, pencils by Paul Pelletier and Jeff Moy, inks by Mark Farmer, John Lowe, Wade von Grawbadger, and Ron Boyd.

1994 was the Elseworlds-themed annuals for DC, and while we've seen way more of the Legends of the Dead Earth ones, we've seen a Batman one, a Robin one...and that's it? Huh. This issue puts an Arthurian spin on the Legion, opening with R.J. Brande and his new recruit, Rokk Krinn, mining nth metal from the ruined planet Thanagar. (Traditionally, Legion flight rings were made with an anti-gravity metal invented by Mon-El; I don't know if this is the first time it and nth metal were connected.) The Dark Circle had been destroying or enslaving worlds across the universe; and Brande had gathered numerous powered kids to join the Legion, and defend the space station Avalon. Today should be a day of celebration there, as Rokk Krinn was finally marrying Imra Ardeen--that's Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl--but the wedding is interrupted by not one by two lightning-powered intruders: the assassin Mekt Ranzz, who is stopped by his brother, Garth. Mekt escapes, and Garth gives a solid wall of text speech, about how he should've been a Legionnaire instead of trying to hunt down his brother. Imra checks him out mentally, and he clears, but she seems to see something else.

The other Legionnaires find a snake in their midst, who had let Mekt in: perennial Legion traitor Hart Druiter, Nemesis Kid. For his crimes, he is executed by Alchemist/Element Lad; establishing that this Legion didn't have a "no killing" rule, but were pretty bound by their other laws. Hart's dying speech claims nothing can stop the Dark Circle, not even the Miracle Machine: while some of the team believed in it, Rokk did not, dismissing the reality-bending device as a wishful fantasy. As time goes by, Brande passes away, and leadership weighed heavily on Rokk; who wishes his wife was a little more supportive and didn't spend so much time in "virtual space," where she was having a virtual affair, with her true "dearheart" Garth. But, after sabotage damages the station (and, in passing, kills Brainiac 5, Invisible Kid, and Polar Boy) a small band of Legionnaires begin a quest for the Miracle Machine. They start with Queen Projectra, who uses magic to find it, but the trail leads to Mordru, who's so evil it seemingly breaks her.

Meanwhile, on monitor duty, Imra investigates a door alarm, and finds Garth seemingly beaten by Mekt. In fact, Mekt had been there, to try to convince him to join the Dark Circle: Garth refuses, but also won't let Imra gun Mekt down, either. That would probably look bad enough, but when the two are caught together, it's blatantly obvious to everyone, making them doubly guilty in the eyes of Alchemist. Imra pushes Garth to escape, and is later sentenced to death. Ultra Boy and his band refuse to watch that, going off on their quest. They journey to Sorcerers' World, where they are quickly captured by Mordru.

Before Alchemist can pass sentence on Imra, Garth swoops in to rescue her, much to Rokk's relief. But, that distraction was exactly what the Dark Circle needed to invade Avalon. Back on Sorcerers' World, Mordru is mildly taken aback, when the Legionnaires tell him they were searching for the Miracle Machine: Mordru had destroyed that himself, to keep it out of the hands of the Dark Circle. The heroes feel kind of dumb then, like their quest was a waste, and Rokk had been right all along and unity had been the answer. On Avalon, Mekt fights Rokk, but also offers him a spot in the Dark Circle: he'd had the stones enough to sentence his wife to death, he might have been hard enough for them. Rokk refuses, but is mortally wounded, as Mekt takes his flight ring, before Imra stabs him in the back. Mordru returns the other Legionnaires to Avalon; not out of kindness, but because he also hated the Dark Circle. The team rallies, and the Circle's troops are driven off. Rokk dies, but he's happy that his dream had been fulfilled and his friends would be happy together; and Imra and Garth lead Avalon, and Earth, and a new United Planets, into the future. 

I have, at best, a passing acquaintance with Arthurian lore--probably mostly gathered from repeated viewings of Excalibur. Still, the Legion slots into those roles pretty well!

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I feel like we've blogged some of the Batman Elseworlds annuals from 1994, but I specifically remember not liking the Shadow of the Bat one, which had a Brian Stelfreeze cover that looked like a younger Alex Baldwin as Bruce Wayne, and featured a Big Brother-style Batman, who had been raised by the Scarecrow, post WW III? Lot to unpack there, but it doesn't end well for anyone; I think the citizens of Gotham march on Wayne Manor or Arkham or whatever with torches and pitchforks. I also probably bought this one back in the day, but don't really recollect it right yet, so let's check Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #4, "Citizen Wayne" Written by Brian Augustyn and Mark Waid, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Horacio Ottolini.

We've seen that title before, in one of the worst Bat-stories I've ever read; and I know it's been used more than that! But this is a period noir-ish number, opening with a rainsoaked crime scene and Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent dead in a fall off a building, with Wayne clutching a torn-off bat emblem. A young assistant D.A. works the case, starting with Wayne Manor and a talk with Martha Wayne: Thomas had been killed years ago in a mugging, and Martha still felt like if they had given in, he would have survived. So, she spent the next 25 years perhaps a bit overprotective of her son, but she's also not entirely surprised he went out like that. Alfred fills in more backstory: Bruce had been a crusading newspaperman, owner of the Gotham Guardian, fighting the mobs from there. Which still occasionally involved fisticuffs! Still, Wayne had been well-trained, with a cameo by Ted Grant; and his main sparring partner was his old friend Harvey Dent, who seems a bit grimmer and more willing to go hands-on against crime. Before his accident, that is...the hospitalized Gordon had been injured at the same time as said "accident," which wasn't an accident at all; why is everyone using Fat Tony's phrasing?

(I misremembered the wording on that, I thought it was simply "Accidents will happen. To you. By us.") Gordon claims to have no memory of what happened, but a beat cop tells the D.A. about seeing Batman in action, tearing into some bootleggers and killing one with a bat-rope. It's front-page news, although Wayne calls the "Killer Crimebuster worse than crooks." The D.A. next questions Vicki Vale, who had suspicions about her boss, and other feelings; but no opportunity to see where either led. Later, he finally gets to Harvey Dent's widow, who felt she had lost him long ago...if she ever really had him; he had been consumed by his mission long before. The D.A. stops another cameo from visiting the widow: ace reporter and occasional creep, Jack Ryder! He recounts a meeting with Wayne, Vale, and the rest of the Guardian staff, after Batman had killed Boss Maroni: Wayne felt if the city's freedom had to be taken by someone outside the law, that freedom was worthless. Everyone else seems to agree, somebody had needed to do something, and Batman had stepped up; with Ryder pointing out if Bruce's dad hadn't fought that mugger, he might not be there right now.

You've probably guessed who the Batman was at this point, and spooked gunsel Zucco confirms it for the D.A.: the hideously scarred Dent was under the mask, and killed Maroni for that and ruining his city. This sends the D.A. back to Gordon, who is momentarily afraid Batman had come for him. He spills, how Maroni, Zucco, and their thugs had thought they were untouchable, and that they could "teach them a lesson." Gordon is shot, point-blank, multiple times; but gets off easy compared to Dent, whose entire face was destroyed with acid; both sides. Later, as Batman, Dent visited Gordon in the hospital, and explained he had to meet Maroni "on his elevated level," above the law: he might stop if Gordon asked him, but Gordon wanted revenge as well. With all the other pieces in place, the D.A. revisits Wayne Manor, where Martha admits she had tried to stop Bruce from facing Dent, but he felt he had to. Suiting up in armor, he had gone to stop his old friend, one way or another.

The D.A. puts it all together for his boss, but that bit of deduction is undercut by the fact that he had actually seen the fatal fight! He had been working late, and saw them on top of city hall across the street; so he's kind of guessing on what they might've said, but still. Dent had gone out a window and was hanging onto a gargoyle, Wayne had tried to save him, but the gargoyle gave way and both men fell to their deaths. Still, putting all of that together is a feather in the cap of the young D.A. Dick Grayson! Who isn't sure he's ready to be the city's main district attorney, but this case may have given him some other ideas... 

I just did a little checking: we've seen the Robin Elseworlds annual, and I think I mentioned getting another copy of the Pirate Batman one, and that's it? I've done way more of the Legends of the Dead Earth ones, and I could've sworn we had blogged Legends of the Dark Knight Annual #5 with Man-Bat before.

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Warbat probably had vast computing power, like 160 gigabytes or something.

Somehow, the Warbat hasn't gotten an action figure? Honestly, feels like several characters from Legends of the Dead Earth probably could've. From 1996, Detective Comics Annual #9, "Warbat" Written by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Flint Henry, inks by James Hodgkins.

Thousands of years after earth, on the planet Typhon, a time-lost frieghter makes a delivery two thousand years late: a warbot, which is found by some kids on the sunny side of the planet, Sybaris. The planet didn't rotate, so the other side, Crotona, was always night, which eventually led the citizens there to revolt over the less-pleasant living conditions. The war was fought in the stormy region between the two sides, for centuries, but ended in a draw: the Sybarians built a weapon that drove the Crotonans back, and while they hadn't been seen in like a thousand years, the Sybarians still fretted that they might someday attack again. Young Deely thinks the bot is to fight the Crotonans; although it was bought by them instead: his main contribution is a bit of paint and welding bat-ears on it. Geela, "the best gearjock in the gang," is able to alter its programming to make it a "good guy," but she can't change its directive to march to Crotona.

Cue Goonies style adventure, as Deely and Geely independently make themselves Robin outfits for the trip. (Poor Bruggo has to be "Alfred Gordon," one of Batman's friends.) In the stormy region, the Warbat defends them against Crotonan "genetic constructs," lab-built monsters, that seem to be running wild. Eventually, they find a Crotonan city, of the dead: all killed off in the last war, but the Sybarians never knew it. But one grinning warbot remains active, dubbed "the Jokester" by Deely: the two destroy each other. Geela thinks they were just obeying programming from long-dead masters, but Deely believes the Warbat had been a hero to the end.

Returning to sunlight, Geela wonders if they should tell anyone, but considers her people might need "a devil to believe in." (That's how tons of resources get spent on defense!) Deely figures on a smaller lie, a fishing trip, to get into less trouble; but wonders if he doesn't like the night a little bit...Deely also saved the Warbat's head, which will probably have a cult built around it inside of a hundred years, if prior history is any indication. 

Even though there was a better than even chance I had this already, I bought another copy of this and Detective Comics Annual #7 the other day: it was a slow week for me, and I wasn't 100% sure I still had either. #7 is of course "Leatherwing," the Pirate Batman Elseworlds, which did get action figures. Warbat may have just missed a window of opportunity, I guess.

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"Imaginary Novels" should be a regular DC title; get outta here with that "Dark Multiverse" jazz.

Looking more closely at it, the cover doesn't give away the game. From 1970, Superman #231, "The Wheel of Super-Fortune!" Written by Cary Bates, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Dan Adkins.

This was a relatively later-period "imaginary novel," the out-of-continuity What If?-style numbers DC used to do. At a glance, this would be the last one for the title until Superman #300, but they appeared sporadically until Alan Moore's "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?" After that, these stories would be Elseworlds or...ugh...Tales from the Dark Multiverse. (I'm harshing a bit on the latter, because you kinda know from the title how things are gonna go.)

Here, we've got Lex Luthor, Superman; trying to convince his crush Lois Lane why she should stay away from the recently-awoken-from-a-coma Clark Kent: he's a criminal! The Kents had been bank robbers, oh, and Jor-El destroyed Krypton to avenge his wife's death, then came to earth with toddler Lex; as we see in flashback from a mystic swami who gives tips to crooks, after he's paid off by Clark, who then kills him...look, maybe it'd be easier to tell you what crazy nonsense doesn't happen in this comic?

Also this ish: a reprint of "Superman's Fatal Costume" from 1957's Superman #112: after running a "spectroscopic analysis," from a distance, of Superman's costume, Lex figures out how to irradite it to cause weird effects, like generating intense heat or changing metal to wood? Lex makes one slip-up, though: he accidentally changes the lead in his armored hideout truck to something else, and Supes spots him. It'd still be years before anyone pointed out a big lead truck would kind of stick out to him, anyway. Read more!

I asked you for one thing on my deathbed. ONE thing.

I know I read a good pile of DC's Elseworlds annuals from back in 1994, and I might even have some of them; but I picked this one up again the other day: Robin Annual #3, "The Narrow Path" Story by Chuck Dixon, art by Enrique Villagran.

The mighty samurai wearing the mark of the Bat is dead, slain by warriors of the clan of the serpent rose. Before dying, the Bat tells his young protege (with the mark of the Robin...) not to avenge him, but to only defend their master, the daiymo Lord Hideyori; against the forces of the shogun.

The Bat had protected the daimyo for years, and the Robin loved him as a father, although he never told him about his ancestors...almost making a point not to. But as the Robin attempts to unravel the conspiracy against the daimyo, running into a familiar looking Cat-garbed ninja, but it may already be too late...

I crammed as much of this one into the scanner as would fit, but had to cut off Villagran's signature off a bit! I don't remember this one being my favorite of that run of annuals, but still not too shabby.
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