Damnit, I'm on record as liking the idea of the Outsiders way more than anything I've ever read with them; but I've liked other stuff from these writers. Still, I feel like I see what they were trying to do, and I hate it. From 2024, Outsiders #8, "Hex" Written by Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly, art by Robert Carey.

In the ghost town of Zero, Batwoman confronts Virginia "Jinny" Hex, although she's really there to help; that's just kind of how she is. Jinny is being chased by ghost cowboys, and her gun is the only thing that works on them; although Batwoman buys them some time with salt. She explains, they maybe have a mutual friend: Jenny Crisis. She was a Century Baby, like Jenny Sparks had been, and maybe DC finally scraped bottom on stealing from Alan Moore, time to go for Warren Ellis. ('Stealing' might be harsh there, but this feels like playing with somebody else's toys maybe without permission. Which probably sounds weird from me, sure.) Jenny had been helped by the Outsiders before, but there were other Century Babies out there that needed help, like Jinny. Batwoman isn't sure what it all means, but knows those kids are important somehow. OK, fair enough. Then, the ghost of Jonah Hex shows up.

Jonah tells a three-page text story, of being maybe mortally wounded, before he found a magic gun in a crevasse; that saved him from dying, and helped him put down 37 of the Elliot Gang. It helps when you don't have to reload, I suppose. Jonah killed maybe two hundred with it, but was haunted by ghosts and felt he wasn't firing the gun anymore, it was firing him. He put it in a box and buried it; and asks Jinny why she had to use it: she had space guns, she didn't need it. Except, she did, during a burglary, when she put down a guy kicking down her bedroom door. Jonah feels bad about it, but tells Jinny she can't put the gun down: "...last life it took has gotta be yours." That feels like a load. He put it down...

Batwoman takes the gun instead, feeling that Jinny deserved a chance at a life; hers was already pretty wrecked, this wouldn't hurt much more. Jonah maybe is a little too sarcastic here, so Batwoman shoots him, then shoots the other ghosts...which, doesn't seem to do much? Like maybe the gun holds them off a bit, but doesn't permanently shut them down. She then calls the Outsiders: maybe they both said some things, but she needs them, since she could "contain the situation...but I can't solve it." But the others might not be in any position to help... 

Ugh, where to begin? Mystic stuff and Jonah Hex, that's only going to work in the absolute smallest of microdoses, or you get the Jonah Hex movie. And Jonah doesn't currently have a comic, so his corpse and/or his ghost have shown up in the present more than once, and once was probably more than enough. I like the idea of Batwoman trying to take somebody else's burden, but it feels like taking away from Jinny's story. I know Lanzing and Kelly maybe did some other stuff with Planetary characters in this title--the Drummer and Jakita are mentioned--but that was a book I loved to death yet don't feel ready to revisit, or continue. I don't know the magic gun's full story either, but good lord, I'm afraid it belongs to the Saint of Killers or something. And I liked Jinny as a legacy character, but this feels like saddling her with one or two more legacies, on top of that. (No spoilers, but Jinny would be back in two issues, so this maybe didn't completely break the character.)

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This doesn't appear to be the peak of DC's printing prowess, but still.

I don't get this title, but writer Mike W. Barr would use it again for an issue of Mantra! From 1985, Batman and the Outsiders Annual #2, "Dissembler at the Wedding" Written by Mike W. Barr, pencils by David Ross, inks by Dan Adkins.

This was the wedding of Rex (Metamorpho) Mason and Sapphire Stagg, after a few hiccups; like a duplicate Rex showing up at the altar and kidnapping Sapph, and poisoning everyone there. Late arrival Bruce Wayne is able to save them, then change to Batman, and has to clear the usual suspect: Simon Stagg, who never approved of Rex seeing his daughter, but had got poisoned with everybody else. The gas was the handiwork of an old foe of theirs: Tremayne, a traitor scientist from Brave and the Bold #58, Metamorpho's second appearance! Tremayne had lost Sapphire's mother to Simon and never got over it, so had built a new mantis-robot and "chemical mimic shape-shifter "Even Steven" to help him get Sapphire instead. He was pretty old and seemed more than a bit senile, but, he was on the ball enough to hire help against the Outsiders: the Masters of Disaster! Neither Tremayne nor Simon seem like a catch, even if they were probably both rich. Sapphire looked like her mom and was gorgeous but a bit soft. Her standing up to Tremayne and saying she wasn't her mom, was like a Spider-Man lifting a heavy thing moment for her.

The Masters had faced the Outsiders before, maybe a couple times by now; and the youngest, Windfall, seemed soft on Halo. This time around we learn why: Halo resembled her dead mom, who had been killed by her sister, New Wave. The team couple, Coldsnap and Heatstroke, are distracted at a crucial moment by a junked solar battery, which they think they can use to cure their condition: their powers hurt each other, so they could no longer touch. Unfortunately for them, Katana and Batman assume they're up to no good, and trash the machine, and them. Rex fights his way past the mantis-robot, then faces Even Steven, who copies not only his powers, but his love for Sapphire: Steven sacrifices himself, taking Tremayne with him.

Long-suffering unfrozen-caveman lackey Java fails to stop the Masters from escaping, while Rex wants to call off the wedding, feeling he couldn't put Sapphire in any more danger. Simon, who probably wasn't turning over a new leaf here, has to admit this one wasn't Rex's fault, and his element powers had saved her. The couple is finally wed; although there was a subscription ad for the Batman-less Outsiders, so there wasn't a ton of time left: Rex wouldn't survive to the end of the series, but would be back in Invasion! and Justice League Europe. Read more!

"The End" Week begins, with The Outsiders #28!

I do this every year, and buy last issues all year round, but somehow I'm still surprised as we start yet another "The End" week, with as many last issues as we can cram in. This year's opener, from 1988, the Outsiders #28, "...A Land Down Under..." Written by Mike W. Barr, pencils by Erik Larsen, inks by Mark Farmer.

DC does this sometimes where they would have a crossover, to hopefully improve the sales of some books by bringing in some new readers, while also cancelling the book in the middle of said crossover. (Captain Atom, Chase, Booster Gold, among others.) What's the point of that, then? This was a Millennium crossover (and the aforementioned Booster Gold was cancelled there as well) and already the Outsiders had lost long-time supporting cast member Dr. Jace as a Manhunter sleeper agent, she had blown herself and Metamorpho up. (He'd be back, on a better team! Surprisingly in recent years, Dr. Jace would be a villainous supporting character on the Black Lightning CW show.)

Looker had been psychically summoned back to Abyssia, the underground civilization that had given her powers. Lia gives a bit of a recap, including probably more about her estranged husband than the Outsiders probably wanted to know. They are greeted by old friends, who try to warn it's a trap, of the Manhunters! Looker was able to put a force-field around the team, and they are able to smash up the blue-faced robots, but when they try to infiltrate disguised as Manhunters, they are discovered by "Queen Tamira the First," whose outfit is...a lot going on, let's say.

Tamira is easily baited into a challenge match with Looker, which gives the Outsiders time to break out of the dungeons. Realizing Tamira shouldn't have been able to get powers like hers, since she wasn't a descendant of the Abyssians' ruling class like her, Lia 'unmasks' Tamira's psychic illusion, and she got real ugly. Tamira returns the favor, by turning Lia back into her pre-Looker self. Lia manages to hit her in the eyes before getting thrown into lava, and Tamira takes the big dive. But before the Manhunters are completely beat, one takes a shot at Katana, that Halo throws herself in front of. In the end, Lia returns to her husband (boo!) and Halo is left on life-support, with Katana grieving over her, as Geo-Force thinks the Outsiders' time is, for now, over. 

I don't think the Manhunters add much to this one; they could've been replaced with Abyssian guards with no impact. This is pretty early work from Larsen, and it's a bit cartoony in spots--there also seems to be a bit of Keith Giffen influence in there? And the various Outsiders, and the team itself, would of course return multiple times over the years. Looker might've been the first to return, in or around Detective #605.

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I've said here a few times I like the idea of the Outsiders way more than any comic I've actually read with them, but over the last couple of months I've picked up a pile of cheap issues. And we all know Alan Davis makes everything better, so why not start with this one? From 1985, Batman and the Outsiders #24, "I Went to the Animal Fair..." Written by Mike W. Barr, art by Alan Davis.

After learning her origin, the alien entity now called Halo has left the Outsiders, and decided to never become Halo again. Instead, since Gaby believes she stole the body of Violet Harper, she's going to live and die in it. Showing up at the Gotham Bus Terminal might be a good start towards the latter, since she's first approached by an obvious pimp, then saved by an obvious cultist, who picks her up for a commune upstate called 'Eden.' There's probably a real Manson-vibe there, but my first thought was that creep Brother Blood! Wrong title, I guess.

The rest of the Outsiders are enjoying a bright, sunny day at the zoo; even though Katana is gloomy as Batman with Halo gone. Rex and Sapphire are getting married soon, and they're meeting her dad Simon Stagg on neutral ground. Someone seems to be watching them, though; while Bruce Wayne is on the scene to give the zoo a komodo dragon. Sapphire is thrilled to see, and still loves, her horrible, horrible dad; she's had enough of Rex and Simon fighting over her.

The day is interrupted by terrorists...like a lot of Outsiders comics were, if I recall. Today, the 'Liberators' are protesting animals getting cushy zoo treatment while people live in poverty. Katana saves a child from being eaten by the komodo dragon, advising the grateful parents to tell them they love them before it's too late. Batman turns on the scare tactics in an aviary full of bats, and the Liberators sing like birds: they were really there to kill Simon, so his business manager could take over. Simon does seem legitimately grateful to Metamorpho for saving him, and the wedding was scheduled for the upcoming annual.

Lastly, the inquisitive Gaby arrives at Eden, and meets Sister Eve and Brother Abraham; and my first thought was wrong again: I was thinking of Mother Night and Minister Blood from Captain America! Wires crossed there.
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When they say "let your freak flag fly," that's not what they meant.

Actually, I kind of dig it! From 1986, Adventures of the Outsiders #33, "A Tiny, Deadly War!" Written and edited by Mike W. Barr, art by Alan Davis.

It's day one for the Outsiders without Batman, and they've got a tough one lined up: Geo-Force's homeland Markovia is under attack, by Baron Bedlam, the Masters of Disaster, and the Soviet army. Somewhat surprisingly, it's the Masters that give them the most trouble today: Windfall's air powers notice Metamorpho sneaking into camp as gas, and once he's frozen it's all downhill from there. She also has a bond with Halo: neither of them want to hurt the other, but Windfall was browbeat by her sister, New-Wave.

While the Outsiders are captured, their friend (and future member) Looker has a psychic flash, and leaves her fretting husband to come help. And bad guy the Bad Samaritan tries to investigate what Baron Bedlam's game is exactly, and learns...he's got Hitler in a tube! I doubt the Soviets are real keen on that either; so he's doubtless in for a kicking. Maybe: looking it up, it was building up to AotO #36, "Sympathy for the Fuhrer!" Um...no. Not at all.

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After three years building them up, let's quit the team in the most dickish way possible.

I've mentioned before that I like the idea of the Outsiders, much more than any Outsiders comic I've actually read; but I didn't read the book when it was first on the stands. So I remember ads for this, but hadn't read this last issue: from 1986, Batman and the Outsiders #32, "A New War's Winning!" Written and edited by Mike W. Barr, art by Alan Davis.

The first four-and-a-half pages of this one are recurring bad guys the Masters of Disaster in Markovia, kidnapping a princess on her way to her wedding; but the Outsiders are busy in Gotham, as a mob boss holds a meeting to unite since Batman had been gone for a few days. "Matches" Malone shows up to see if the boss is serious, and verifies the heist of plasma from the hospital; "Matches" of course being a longtime alias of Batman! Signaling the team, the mobsters are wrapped up quickly, and with the mission complete Geo-Storm takes the opportunity to break radio silence, and finds his country has been at war for two days! Moreover, Batman knew!

Batman claims he needed the Outsiders in Gotham, and didn't want to be running all over the world like the Justice League: "...so busy saving the world, we lose sight of individuals." It kind of reads more like Bats was mad he hadn't got to punch a junkie, mobster, or homicidal clown for a minute and was pitching a fit; as he disbands the team. Halo protests, and a smirking Batman seems to think they were going to cave, but she suggests they stay together themselves, without Batman! Batman leaves in a huff, noting Dick had already quit and Jason probably would someday: "...soldiers come and go, but my war never ends." He does not handle rejection well, does he?

The Outsiders would go on to face Baron Bedlam and the Masters of Disaster in Markovia; but the rest of this issue was a Looker story: formerly "mousy" Lia Briggs was now Looker, who had super-powers but was mostly just thrilled to be staggeringly hot. Her husband Greg was still adjusting, and may have missed his old wife and been uncomfortable with the attention Lia now got, but she showed no interest in the person she used to be. Yeah, I got a feeling Greg is not going to be in this book for too long.
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Someone's excited about this page...

Um..."fap" of course being a common onomatopoeic representation of bats' wings flapping, and nothing else. Nothing. From 2009, the Outsiders #23, "The Hunt, part 3" Written by Peter J. Tomasi, pencils by Fernando Pasarin, inks by Jay Leisten and Scott Hanna.

Anyway, this issue Katana, Halo and the Creeper are on the trail of Killer Croc, when they run into Man-Bat. For this appearance, Kirk Langstrom had estranged himself from his family to protect them, but was seemingly addicted to being Man-Bat. His wife Francine had been working with the Outsiders, but as Man-Bat he didn't want to go back, and sides with Croc. Croc is eventually captured, but mocks Creeper as a freak, claiming his Jack Ryder persona was going to be submerged until the Creeper was all that's left.

The rest of the Outsiders wait for their friends to come back, since they already have Clayface, but they're surprised by the sudden reappearance of Geo-Force's dead sister, Terra, for the Blackest Night crossover. I forget if this next issue was one where if your comic shop bought a bunch, they got a power ring promo or two. I was also wondering if Katana and the Creeper had really interacted before the New 52 versions, where the Creeper is an evil demon living in Katana's sword and completely excised of fun...

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If Looker's action figure came with this, it would be worth the deluxe price...

I picked this issue out of the clearance bins for fifty cents, because the cover featured Jim Aparo and Eclipso, but the real draws weren't listed: from 1987, the Outsiders #18, "...Rage, Rage Against the Dying of the Light!" Story by Mike W. Barr, art by Jim Aparo.

The South Pacific island of Diablo...ugh...is ground zero for this issue's weirdness; namely, an eclipse that won't end. Most of earth's heroes are running relief efforts against tidal-caused disasters, but Batman and the Outsiders are on Diablo facing Eclipso and his darkness-worshiping cultists. While the heroes are no match for Eclipso, Batman is able to hold him off by threatening to kill his former host body, Bruce Gordon. Eclipso still holds all the cards, though; and plans on murdering Gordon, Batman, and the Outsiders before taking Bruce's girlfriend Mona as his bride! The high priestess of the cultists is a little put-out by that, but Eclipso couldn't care less.

In the end, after being zapped with Geo-Force's null-gravity, a Metamorpho-powered light blast, and sliced up by Katana's sword; a weakened Eclipso is trapped once again in Bruce Gordon's body. (Where I'm not sure he'd be seen again until 1992's Eclipso: the Darkness Within event. No, hold the phone: Eclipso shows up just prior to that in the last couple issues or so of the Will Payton version of Starman.) Batman tells the Outsiders they've done well for themselves...but could maybe do better back with him!

Still, that's but a prelude to the main event: "Freeway of Fun Fear!" Written by Mike W. Barr, art by Brian Bolland! In her civilian identity of model Lia Briggs, Looker is appearing on the game show Freeway of Fun; with Metamorpho and his gal Sapphire in the studio audience. But a power-up that's supposed to give her go-cart a smoke screen instead delivers an oil slick and nearly kills her, so Lia re-enters the race as Looker...with a replacement go-cart:

OK, this story's a total bit of fluff, but Barr can just sit back and let Bolland draw the hell out of it. And Metamorpho is so friggin' great, I swear. Why the New 52 didn't feature a Looker/Metamorpho Wacky Racers-type book, is just another missed opportunity.

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The cover more than carries this one.

Not that the interior art is terrible, but it's a Brian Bolland cover, so c'mon. From 1986, The Outsiders #18, "The Firefly's Blaze of Glory" Written and edited by Mike W. Barr, art by Jerome Moore and Al Vey and Jan Duursema.

As the Outsiders practice and have a few laughs in their off-brand Danger Room (they aren't the only DC characters to have swiped one!) in L.A. a prison transport is loading, and the guards and other prisoners are also having a laugh, at the expense of one Garfield Lynns, a.k.a. Fruitfly. Er, Firefly. Although soundly mocked by all, he is able to escape from the transport with an "equalizer beam" that blended the gray of his uniform with that of the truck. At a newspaper, Firefly tries to get a classified ad to threaten the Outsiders, and is about to get bounced by security, once they stop laughing at his costume. Still, FF--that's actually on his costume, his chest logo is FF--zaps them with an illusion ray, and makes a pretty effective escape by blinding drivers with red lights.

The Outsiders aren't taking Firefly very seriously, but do want to make sure no one gets hurt. Katana deduces the clue he was trying to place in his ad, that FF was going to attack Dodger System on "Light Night," a flashlight giveaway. (Which sounds like a good way to get batteries thrown at ballplayers, but what do I know?) When Firefly sucks all the power out of the stadium, the Outsiders take him down easily, but he manages to suck the light out of Halo, including her powers! Firefly turns the tables, then escapes again; but Halo is weakened and near death.

As the rest of the team falls into a obvious trap trying to find Firefly, FF hits the Outsiders' headquarters, planning to finish Halo off and keep her powers. Still, when tricked into trying to use all Halo's powers at once, Firefly loses them: that was how Halo transformed into her civilian identity Gaby. A very protective Katana threatens to kill Firefly if Halo dies, but she recovers. Firefly gloats that he might've got beat, but he had his moment in the sun, and they can't take that away from him. Unless a telepath like Looker wipes his mind, which she does, which seems a little harsh.

We don't see this version of Firefly much after this: eventually, the Batman: the Animated Series version of a pyromaniac with a flamethrower gun and maybe jetpack wings would become the standard. Probably just as well: the light-controlling version seems interchangeable with the first Doctor Light. Both had science that should've changed the world, but instead used it to be punched in the face repeatedly by super-heroes, and both were mindwiped to forget a victory...uh-oh.
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