"The End" Week: Teen Titans #100!

This issue was next to my desk at work, and hey, it's the last one! From 2011 and pre-New 52, it's Teen Titans #100, "Family Reunion" Written by J.T. Krul, pencils by Nicola Scott, and inks by Doug Hazlewood, Jack Purcell, and Greg Adams.

Well, I guess if they're one thing I'm thankful to the New 52 for, it's that they appear to have gotten rid of Superboy-Prime. Originally intended as an innocent goodbye to the classic, S-P was brought back as a selfish, whiny, entitled brat who never took responsibility for his actions and always blamed everyone else. (Being the sole survivor of his universe, he was probably also seriously mentally ill, but rarely if ever was portrayed in a sympathetic light.) This time around, he's put together a "Legion of Doom" of Titans villains and Superboy-clones, intent on wiping out what he sees as "inferior versions."


The Titans clear the benches for this brawl, bringing in reams of characters. Kid Flash gets a brief (or rather, quick) moment of victory over Inertia, the villain that killed him in his brief and ill-fated 2006 series as the Flash. Superboy has Ravager get his Kryptonite shard, so she and Damian can stab some clones with it. And the Titans pummel Superboy-Prime down--somewhat unsatisfyingly, over only a couple of pages, and into unconsciousness, rather than beating him until he cries like the little toadie he is. The good, Conner Superboy and Supergirl leave S-P imprisoned in the Source Wall, which I'm sure is exactly what Jack Kirby intended it used for. Then a couple pages intended for closure, a bunch of pin-ups, a preview for the far-superior looking Marv Wolfman/George Perez Teen Titans graphic novel Games, and the start of the New 52 hype. The latter includes an ad for six books under the heading "Young Justice," all of which have been cancelled except for the rebooted Teen Titans book.

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80-page Thursdays: Justice League of America 80-Page Giant 2011!

During the Comic Book Shop's 23rd anniversary sale, I picked up a nice pile of 80-pagers on the cheap, so we'll take this next month or so to look one every Thursday. Today: Justice League of America 80-Page Giant 2011, wherein the JLA go to hell. It's a bit of an odd-duck lineup, but it's not just them, either: guest-stars Plastic Man, Lobo, Ragman, Bulleteer, Oracle, Fire, the Demon, and more make the trip as well.

Split into groups of two, our heroes are stuck in various rings corresponding to the nine circles of hell in Dante's Inferno. For example, Wonder Woman and Supergirl get stuck in the second circle, Lust. Not for each other, although that doubtless would've improved sales...for Batman. A demon offers them the chance to burn for eternity with Bruce for Diana and Dick for Kara; rather unsurprisingly, they don't fall for it. (Diana knew Bruce would never smile, while Kara knew Dick was acting "icky.")


Batman and Plastic Man are accused of being frauds. Hawkman and the Demon punch it up for a while in the circle of violence. Green Arrow and Ragman do likewise for anger. A somewhat more interesting pairing is Booster Gold and Oracle for gluttony: Oracle's for knowledge, Booster's for being needed. Donna Troy and Bulleteer are up for heresy; and while I'm glad to see Bulleteer, her admission that hell might be all right if her dead husband ended up there was a little much.

Each pair of heroes finds a piece of the magical macguffin, the Hell Mask. Put the whole thing together, and you can control anyone or anything...even capital-G God. Lord Satanus put the whole thing together to get the Mask and try to retake Hell; although the how on that isn't really explained, or why this particular batch of heroes was picked, since I don't suppose they were all in one place at one time. I did like the trick that foils Satanus, but there is a heroic sacrifice here that's reversed the very same page by the sudden arrival of another hero that hadn't been seen all issue. Similarly, Power Girl can be seen a couple times in crowd shots, even though she's not in this one!
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl conclusion: Actually calling him "Dickbat" is unbelievably awkward.

The topic of who in the DC Universe knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman has been up for debate for years now, and now that debate can expand into who knows Dick Grayson is Batman. Probably everyone who knew the former, and then some. (For a start, check out Lorendiac's List of same from Comics Should Be Good.)

Part of the debate is, that during the early, good, Wolfman/Perez Teen Titans days, the full roster of Titans seemed to be privy to Batman's identity. Which eventually led to Terra, and Deathstroke, getting the secret. Which probably led to the Batman editors having a cow that Teen Titans was letting the cat out of the bag. Plus, if you are OK with the idea of Danny Chase maybe knowing Bruce Wayne is Batman; you need to sit down and seriously re-evaluate where you are in life.

While I figure Blackest Night is going to be the big crossover while it's ongoing; I'm kind of surprised DC hasn't tried to expand Damian/Robin into some event thing. I know he's appeared in Booster Gold, and is going to be in Batgirl later, but Robin versus the Teen Titans is the obvious one. It sure couldn't hurt that book any...but it may be interesting to see that little brat interact with say, Wonder Woman. Or the returned Superboy, since the Damian/Connor relationship would be a far cry from Connor and Tim's. Or the Secret Six. That kid would be their leader in fifteen minutes.

Of course, I say this, but since Wednesday's Comics and Final Crisis: Escape both ended, the only DC book on my pull list? Warlord.

That's it for this particular series of strips: it was fun, but the girls didn't have enough articulation for a lot of body language. Plus the combination of my crummy lighting and their glossy skintones wasn't great. Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight.
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 8: Kara's too classy for the obvious Wonder Man joke.

I figure Beast Boy, if not most of the Teen Titans, is utterly convinced Cassie has an invisible jet, and is just being a bitch and not letting them ride in it.

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, six and seven.

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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 7: Wait, Comet pre- or post-Crisis?

Based on nothing, I would have to say Streaky is probably more destructive than Krypto.

I haven't read every old Supergirl story, so there probably is an old story like "Supergirl's Amazing Kitchen of Solitude!" or some such. And I do think Comet returned in some form in Peter David's Supergirl, but that book was probably still better than any other female-lead book DC's had in, well, ever.

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, five, and six.
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 6: Kara can't remember the LSH, but Conner has to remember the Ravers, so...

Now, as is often the case, I'm basing this off memory, and don't have the issues in question right handy; but in the old, pre-Crisis, pre-reboots, Adventure Comics era of the Legion of Super-Heroes, Superboy went to the 30th century on a pretty routine basis. Supergirl later joined the Legion as well, but she was coming to the future, from a period several years after Superboy's visits--Kara didn't become Supergirl until well after Kal-El became Superman.

For example, let's say Superboy was leaving his home time of 1959 to hang out with the Legion in the year 2959. Supergirl could be there in 2959 as well, but she would've come from her home time of 2969 or so. I'm not sure about Supergirl, but Superboy and the Legionnaires were also aging at roughly the same rate: as he became Superman, the Legion became adults as well, and usually that's how they would meet. Rarely, if ever, would the adult Legion run into Superboy, or Superman see the teenage version of the team.

And people wonder why DC needed a Crisis, multiple reboots, etc. More tangents after the break!

Getting to the point: Supergirl had a post-hypnotic suggestion placed on her, not sure by whom exactly, so that when she returned to her time, she wouldn't remember any details of the future that she shouldn't. Like her death, for example. Actually, her death almost makes the suggestion make sense retroactively. But it is a little dicked up that just about everybody else gets to go back and forth in time and not have their memories wiped.

The exception, that's in the same boat as Kara: Hal Jordan, of all people. Early in his career as Green Lantern, the 57th or 58th century (58th, sorry!) abducted Hal a few times, brainwashed him into the identity of Pol Manning, and used him whenever they needed their superhero, putting him back none the wiser on more than one occasion. (I'm not sure how that worked: Hal started to notice he was having memory lapses, blackouts, and investigated and figured out what had been happening to him. But, if they're yanking him through time, shouldn't they just put him back right when they got him? Hal might wonder why he's tired and covered in bruises, but it's Hal, they could've kept that up for years more.)

Eventually, the 58th century Solar Council stopped using Hal, and accidentally got Salaak once, to fight the anthropomorphic squirrel descendants of C'hp...and this is why I won't stand for anyone badmouthing Zero Hour, since that event apparently took out the whole mess. (Hmm. This also means Salaak, of all people, like Peter in Heroes, has a girlfriend that he left in a future that has now been seemingly erased. Like Peter, Salaak isn't about to open that can of worms...)

Again, based off memory, Kara had the post-hypnotic suggestion, but I don't think Clark did. Also, I believe Kara was trusted not to spill the beans about what she knew of Clark's future: "Well, you grow up and become Superman, and Lex Luthor's still a jerk, and that Lana chick is still following you around..."

Previous episodes: one, two, three, four, and five.
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 5: Just because they can't see your panties, doesn't make you a role model.

I'm pretty sure there's been Superman stories back in the fifties where he gets all fat, and I'm also sure there's been multiple tales of him getting overpowered, with at least a few of those showing Supes hulking out like a steroid victim. But I don't know if Supergirl has gone through the same stories or not. And she had a ton of red Kryptonite stories: where Superman would usually have something weird happen like growing a third eye or an indestructible beard or a hump or something; Kara seemed to turn evil more often than not. (Maybe. I'm probably misremembering, but red Kryptonite did feature in most of her early Legion of Super Heroes appearances.)

The title today is a reference to a recent DC Comics editorial edict about Supergirl getting some nice shorts or something, to cut down on the upskirt panty shots. Great, but that probably could've been handled, hmm, more discretely, maybe? I don't know. It's a stereotype, but I suppose an outfit that a superpowered, parentless, teenage girl would actually wear would be scandalous, at best. Man, I'm glad I have sons...

Previous episodes: one and two and three and four.

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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 4: It says something when your new girlfriend has the same name...

The quiet (and recently replaced) Batgirl, Cassandra Cain, seems doomed to be one of those female characters seemingly beloved by all but unable to translate that into sales. I never read a ton of books with her, but the idea of her dating the vastly less-competent Conner (still misspelled in the strips, sorry) could be ripe for comedy. Which doesn't seem like her forte, but still.

After being mishandled after the end of her book and then fighting her way back into the role, Cassandra recently passed the Batgirl cowl to Stephanie Brown, formerly the Spoiler, formerly Robin, formerly dead. Steph's death as the result of her trying to run one of Batman's plans without Batman in War Games was retconned into a fake; and that's why Bats never had her costume in the trophy case of the honored dead. Yeah...let's move on, yes?

I don't know if Wonder Girl Cassie knew about Batgirl Cassandra's brief romance with Superboy Conner (there's been like five versions of each of these characters, so you have to use both names...) but she doesn't seem like the type to be cool about it.

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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 3: Batman never has this problem with the Joker, since he's never funny.

Previous episodes: one and two.

Even though generally DC heroes are supposed to be stoic and all-business in battle, I can't remember the Joker (or the Riddler, the Prankster, or any other allegedly funny villain) ever busting out a line that might conceivably get a chuckle out of the hero. Bizarros, though...that, and I think I'd have a hard time staying mad at Bizarro, and his earnest stupidity. Although, some artists draw him less Silver-age blocky and more zombie-like, which does lessen the charm.

And even though Kara doesn't do a terrible job of Supergirl, I would wager she has received more lectures from Superman, than anyone else has ever, from anyone, in the history of anything.
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 2: Every time she hears, 'can you hear me now?' Kara dies a little inside.

Short one today, but there's longer ones later. It all evens out, promise.
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Supergirl/Wonder Girl 1: The one with the set-up.

I blame Professor Zoom.

Or Reverse-Flash, or whatever his name is. Even though I've read a few Flash stories with different versions of him, he's not a character for whom I had any affection. (Why aren't we supposed to put prepositions at the ends of sentences again?) And his figure wasn't amazing, just the standard first-wave DC Infinite Heroes. But he was a buck, so...

How Supergirl and Wonder Girl ended up dragged into this, I'm still not sure. While I'm enjoying the adorable Supergirl strip in Wednesday's Comics, I could not tell you the last time I read a mainstream DC Universe story with her or Wonder Girl. But as I thought about it...I thought they were in an interesting place in the DCU: they were junior members, but not really sidekicks; and even though they were younger they were more than powerful enough to take care of most situations. And as teenaged girls, I figured they would be a bit more brutally honest in their gossip and commentary.

I got their figures in a three-pack, with Superman, for five bucks. They are terrible. The price was the only saving grace. Wonder Girl's logo isn't blurry, that's what it looks like on the toy. Is it supposed to be an abstract gold shape? The girls don't even get the elbow joint other DCIH figures do, so their body language is limited. And even for their scale, the sculpts don't pop. And I'm totally blaming the girls for my failings in photography: they reflect light like no one's business.

And even with all that, I got ten pages of snark about the current DC Universe out of it. The Gotham City Police Department would be like a turtle on its back if faced by a villain like Zoom. (Not that Central City's PD fares any better, true.) After Superboy (Connor) (EDIT: Oops, Conner. Damn.) died in Infinite Crisis, the grieving Cassie went on to join a cult and build an altar for him in 52. Just as weird: then-Robin Tim was trying to clone his best friend in Teen Titans, and Cassie and Tim had an awkward attraction that they couldn't work out.

Connoer would return in Legion of Three Worlds, but now of course Batman's believed dead. Tim isn't buying it, and is currently wearing the Red Robin outfit, since Dick moved Batman's son Damien into the Robin position. Officially, the rationale is that Dick believes Tim can handle himself, while Damien needs watching over; but storywise I'd say Damien brings more tension to the table: Tim's a good soldier, while Damien is a loose cannon, by which I mean borderline sociopath.

While we all know Bruce Wayne is coming back, in-story everyone is being portrayed as if they firmly believe he's dead, except for Tim. Tim is thus supposed to seem unhinged by grief, wild; but we know he's right, even if he's wrong. As Red Robin, he's going to be chasing red herrings until Bruce comes back in a completely unrelated event. I don't think Bruce will be back in the Black Lantern storylines, and while it would be nice if Tim pieced together the clues and was the one to bring his adopted dad back, I don't think that's going to happen.

Wow, I am surprisingly up on my DC continuity, for someone who spends more on DC toys than I do on DC comics...next strip Wednesday!

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